Maxon paced back and forth behind his desk, a deep frown on his lips, his eyes narrowed slightly in contemplation. America sat in the chair opposite his desk, watching him worriedly. She knew he was in an awful position, having to choose between logic and instinct, between fear and courage.
His hands, previously firm behind his back, came up to run through his hair frustratedly, mussing the whole style almost beyond repair. America sighed unhappily. It was never a good sign when Maxon used both of his hands for mussing.
She stood, clicking her tongue to make a little tisk, and rounded the desk in three steps. Maxon halted, though his eyes remained far away. America rearranged his hair back to the carefully controlled chaos it usually was at this hour of afternoon.
"You should start sharing your thoughts, Max." America said softly, letting her hands fall to rest on his shoulders. "I want to help, but you have to let me in. We can figure this out."
Maxon blinked, raising his eyes to focus on hers. "I just don't think I can allow this, Ames. Not yet."
"What would it take, Maxon? Let's negotiate."
"I honestly can't even imagine." he sank into his chair and looked up at her, helplessly.
America nodded patiently and lowered herself onto his lap. He placed a hand on her hip to steady her, then let his head fall against the back of his chair with a sigh.
"Someday," America said, softly, "Adrienne will have to leave the Palace for some reason or other. We don't want her to be afraid of the country she was born to rule. She needs to know the lay of her land, and she needs to know her people."
"She won't remember if we don't take her out for the first few years." Maxon argued.
"Maybe not, but that's not part of the normal childhood we're trying to offer her." America countered, keeping her tone as level as possible. "Trips to Grandma's house are normal. I might not have time to take her out again before Easter, and Mom won't make it back to the Palace until my birthday. This Friday is the perfect time."
"It's not that I don't want Addy to visit your mother, and of course I want you to be able to visit your family as often as you like, that was a major factor in choosing that house for them."
"Mhmm." America allowed him to work out what was really bothering him.
"But both of you together?"
"What's going through your mind, Maxon?" America gently prompted him.
"… A car bomb." Maxon admitted, as if a weight was being lifted from his shoulders just by being able to openly talk about his darkest fears. "Or a well-placed gunman. It wouldn't take much, and the entire future of this monarchy could be destroyed. You and Addy are my whole family, Ames, I could lose you both at the same time."
America nodded, trying to validate his concerns. She wanted so badly to be able to tell him that he was paranoid, worried for nothing, but she couldn't. Maxon had lost his whole family at the same time before. His parents were gunned down at his own engagement party, right in front of him, and until he'd married America, he'd been the last Schreave on earth.
"Carter has volunteered to coordinate our security teams. Aspen has already promoted three highly-trained officers for Adrienne's detail, and she's only two months old. They're here every day as part of our detail, but they're specialized in protecting her outside of the Palace. They're ready for this."
"I'm not." Maxon said, simply. "I'm not ready."
"Alright." America nodded, with a sigh. "Let's say I won't be able to take Addy out of the Palace until after Easter. Maybe not even until things slow down in early May. Would you be ready then? When she was five months old?"
"I don't know… I don't think so." Maxon admitted, almost ashamed. "I know I'm being irrational."
"You're not. I love you, and I understand this, but we've got to find a way to work through it. I might occasionally feel like locking our daughter up in a tall tower, but I'm never going to do it. I love her too much to do that to her. I want to take her to her grandmother's house on Friday, because it's my last day of partial freedom before I return to full-time work on Monday, planning my own ridiculous birthday party, no less. I want her to see May and Gerad and the big beautiful yard at that house, I want it to be a second home for her."
"I want all of that, too." Maxon said, then considered it again. "In theory, I mean. The reality is much more harrowing."
"They're so close to the Palace, and Aspen will send scouts ahead to monitor the roads."
"I understand all of that." Maxon frowned. "But none of it makes me feel any better. Let's wait until Sunday, then I can go with you."
"So that, if our car is attacked, all three of us will be gone?" America asked, trying to keep him to his own logic. "The King, the Queen, and the Heir?"
"Well…" Maxon frowned, shaking his head.
America pressed her lips together and then tried again, "You're not worried about once we're at Mom's house?"
"No, not really." Maxon said, realizing this answer as he said it. He lifted his eyes to hers, hopeful that his sanity might yet be salvaged.
"Good. So all you're worried about is the short handful of minutes between the Palace gates and Mom's front gate?"
"Yes." He nodded.
"There will be a decoy car, more to distract photographers than anything." America reminded him. "And Addy and I will be leaving from the kitchen entrance, out the side."
Maxon nodded, considering this. "Carter said he'd go with you?"
"Yes." America nodded, hopefully.
Maxon sighed heavily and lowered his gaze to the hand that he had placed on her hip. He squeezed that hand, a light pressure, and said, "Alright."
America's smile was instant and radiant. "Thank you, Maxon."
"But I'm going to see you and Addy safely into the car."
"Of course."
"I'm installing her safety seat myself."
"Absolutely."
"And you will personally call me on Carter's radio, the very second you're through your mother's gates."
"Okay."
"Are Kenna and Astra going with you?"
America nodded, "I think so."
"They need their own protection detail. I'll tell Aspen."
"I'm sure that will be fine."
"And I want Kenna and Astra to be in a different car from you. If anything should happen…"
America licked her dry lips and brushed her thumb against his cheek, "Maxon, at a certain point it gets harder to protect more cars. There is some safety in staying together and giving our guards less to worry about."
Maxon didn't really like this, but he had to admit that she was probably right. "Fine. But I'm inspecting the car that you're riding in."
"Alright, Maxon." America pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Thank you. I know this is hard for you."
Maxon nodded and lowered his head to rest just above her chest, near the place where the diamond on the necklace he'd given her for Addy's birth rested. "I can't lose her, America. If we lost her, I honestly don't think I could go on. Others wouldn't understand, they'd tell us to have more children, and maybe we would, but God. None of them would ever be our baby bird. She's entirely singular."
"I know what you mean." America reassured him. "And she's not going anywhere."
"She's going to your mother's house, apparently." Maxon mumbled, complaining.
America hugged him close. "Wait until the first time she asks to go abroad on her own. It'll be to visit Eoan and those princes or Nicoletta and her cousins, I'm sure. Kenna figures we probably have fifteen years until Addy starts asking, but if she's like May, it'll be more like eleven."
"Well that's never happening." Maxon said confidently. "I can tell Adrienne tonight at dinner to wipe her mind of any of those thoughts. She is never going abroad without us."
"Not even in twenty years, when she's the Queen?" America asked, giggling at the thought of Maxon's dinner conversation with Addy. She loved it when they lectured the baby as if she could understand. Just a few days ago, Addy had gotten the 'No dating until you're married' speech from Maxon after several of the candid photographs from the private little party after Addy's christening came back showing the English Princes absolutely fawning over her.
"Especially then. She'll need to take me with her as an adviser, anyway." Maxon reasoned.
"What if she doesn't need you to be her adviser?"
Maxon's brow furrowed; he'd never thought of this. "What? Really?"
"She might be fine on her own, especially with the amazing job you'll have done training her throughout her childhood."
"No." Maxon shook his head, disturbed. "She'll always need me. I'm her daddy."
America nodded, still grinning, and stood up from Maxon's lap. "Alright then. At least she now has permission to go to Grandma's house."
"On a case by case basis." Maxon reminded America. "And I reserve the right to revoke the privilege if the security situation changes."
America ran a hand through Maxon's hair again. As always, he relished the touch. "It'll get easier, Maxon."
Maxon sighed, already exhausted. "I hope so. I'm going to be her father for the rest of my life, I can't keep up this much worry forever."
"I know." America traced her fingers gently over his furrowed brow. At this prompting, he relaxed his face and the worry wrinkles disappeared. She liked knowing that she had the power to erase those. As far as she knew, she was the only one who could. "I'll see you at dinner."
Maxon caught her hand before she got too far away and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, then turned back to the reports on his desk, brow already furrowed again.
Kenna was thrilled to have a weekday to spend at her mother's house, it was an unexpected treat. Magda, May, and even Gerad, would take turns playing with Astra and snuggling Addy, and Kenna and America would get to relax a little. The last couple of weeks had been especially hard on Kenna, who was now juggling morning sickness on top of her responsibilities as mother and royal nanny.
One bright, cute little spot was that Astra knew her mommy was sick, though she did not yet know why, and tried to remain on her best behavior at all times, with varying degrees of success. She frequently ordered 'bubbles' for her mother from the kitchens (by way of highly trained guards who adored the girl) and insisted Kenna relax in the rocking chair whenever they were in Adrienne's nursery. However, even with Astra's adorable ministrations, America knew she was officially out of time to find a second nanny.
It was hard to say exactly why America was having such a hard time settling on another nanny to hire. She had plenty of brilliant candidates to choose from. It probably had a lot to do with Anne and Esther, and being hesitant to bring another household staff member into her inner-circle only to risk their death at the hands of zealous rebels. There was also still so much unease lingering all throughout the Palace, to do with how easily K had always managed to infiltrate America's old bedroom, part of which was now Addy's nursery. She still didn't feel entirely safe in her own home, and wasn't ready to trust someone new with her precious baby, especially when America wasn't in the room or even in the Palace.
The knowledge that, in addition to being murdered whilst trying to protect the royal family, Esther, America's last hire, had initially been a rebel, was also heavy on America's mind. She didn't trust her own judgement anymore. Even though her instincts had been ultimately correct about Esther's character, Esther had still been a rebel spy in the beginning and things could have ended very differently for America, Addy, and the whole monarchy if Esther hadn't converted.
The solution to America's problems presented itself rather obviously, almost at the same time as Kenna's morning sickness first presented itself. Kenna needed a couple of hours to spend near a toilet, and America had to be at a budget breakdown for her own birthday party. It was annoying, but it was the only time Jepsen was free all week and Silvia had to start placing orders from vendors as soon as possible.
America's first thought had been to ask Marlee to step in, but Marlee was busy working with Silvia. The two were really starting to flow well together, and America had realized that it wouldn't be at all surprising if, fifteen or twenty years from now, Marlee took over for Silvia and coordinated the Palace for the new Queen Adrienne.
Before America could falter for much longer, Paige had eagerly volunteered to watch Astra and Addy until America's meeting was over. It was a beautiful, crisp, cold morning outside and Paige offered to swaddle Addy up in some extra warm blankets and let Astra 'help' push her in the stroller out to the stables. Astra really liked 'helping' to push the stroller by keeping a hand on the side of it and going on tiptoe occasionally to peek down at Addy's face, and Astra loved visiting the horses and watching them eat and frolic within the fenced little pasture near the stables. Paige figured they'd carry a little picnic of apple slices and cheese down there, and by the time they meandered out, had their snack, admired the horses, and meandered back, America would be finished with her meeting.
It wasn't just that it was America's only option; even if she'd had other choices, Paige's suggestion was beyond perfect. It got Addy out into the fresh air and bright winter sunshine, it kept Astra engaged by allowing her to 'help' (which was absolutely one of her favorite things to do), and it bought America the exact right amount of time for her meeting. America mulled this over on her way to and from the meeting, and when she returned to her rooms just moments after Paige and the kids, she helped Astra out of her coat and scarf while Paige dug Addy out of the blankets in the stroller.
Tentatively, America said, "Paige, I know you really like playing with the kids. I've seen you with Astra and Kile and you absolutely dote on Addy. Is there any chance you'd consider switching over from being my maid to being Adrienne's second nanny?"
Paige's eyes widened in surprise as she considered this. "I… I don't know, ma'am. My position means the world to me, I love serving you."
America smiled, "What better service than to help me take care of my baby?" then she sincerely added, "I can't tell you how important it is for me to know that, when I can't be with Adrienne, someone who loves her very much is watching over her for me. Someone I trust absolutely. I understand if you'd rather stay where you are, but you're so good with the kids, and it seems as if you like spending time with them."
"Oh, I do, Ma'am." Paige reassured her.
"It would be so much easier for me to simply have Mary promote a maid or two from within the Palace, assistants to help her take care of me. People she already knows and trusts. It's much harder to find someone new, someone from the outside, who I can trust with my child."
Paige gulped, "A royal nanny, though, ma'am… I'm not fit to help raise the next ruler of this country, not with my past—"
"Oh, Paige." America shook her head, then glanced at Astra who wasn't paying a bit of attention to them, but rather making silly faces at Addy. "For me, this isn't about the next ruler of this country, it's about my baby. I know they're the same person, but I like to separate the two. Some things in Addy's life are going to be about her destiny to rule as Queen, that's unavoidable. So I'm trying to keep as many things separate from that as possible, as many things normal and loving and supportive as possible. I don't want some cold, strict royal nanny with a perfect pedigree, grooming my baby for a future on the throne. I want someone who loves her, someone who will make her feel safe and happy and just a little bit free."
Paige nodded, mulling this over with a smile on her face. Her eyes fell to Addy and she ran a hand through Astra's messy hair. "If you're sure I'm good enough to do this job, then there's nothing else I'd rather be doing." she finally announced. "If having me look after the Princess will give you any peace of mind at all, then I'm happy to do it."
America beamed. "Thank you. I'll tell Kenna and Mary tonight, you can begin tomorrow. For now," America turned her attention to her rosy-cheeked niece and her baby daughter. The change in her tone, now bright and playful, caught Astra's attention, and the girl looked up with wide, eager eyes. "I've got a very important castaway playdate with two lost, brave pirate princesses."
Astra squealed excitedly and bounced up and down, she'd been waiting to play this pretend game with America and Adrienne all week.
"Are you going to make it, Ken?" America asked, placing a comforting arm on Kenna's shoulder.
"Oh, yeah, I'll be fine." Kenna looked distinctly green. She'd already been sick twice that morning and didn't think she'd actually vomit again. Still, she looked rough.
"You need to go to the hospital wing when you get back to the Palace." America said, sternly, rubbing Kenna's shoulders soothingly.
"I already saw Dr. Ashlar, he said he wants to wait a little longer before medicating me for this. He wants the B-A-B-Y to build up a little more resistance before we start exposing it to those kinds of medical substances, even though they are technically safe." She spelled out the word 'baby' instead of just saying it because she and James still hadn't told Astra what was happening. If anything went wrong with the pregnancy in the early stages, they didn't want to have to break Astra's heart by explaining that there would be no baby brother or sister after all.
For her part, Astra was excitedly buzzing around the kitchen side room they were in, awaiting confirmation that their car was ready. She was running laps around the big island in the middle of the room and every time she finished a lap, Paige popped a cold grape in Astra's little mouth, giggled, and swore that the girl had run that lap faster than the last time. At this rate, Astra would be run ragged and passed out asleep by dinner time, which was exactly what Kenna needed.
America frowned at her sister, sympathetically. "I was farther along when my morning sickness really hit me. Between that and the King of Illéa frantically declaring that the Queen would die if something wasn't done, Dr. Ashlar was likely much more eager to give me those anti-nausea pills."
Kenna giggled just imagining how panicked Maxon would have been to see America so sick, but she looked as if she immediately regretted the laughter. It ended in a piteous little groan.
"Aw, Kenna." America squeezed her sister's shoulder. "You don't have to go today. I can take Astra and Addy by myself, Mom will be able to help me look after them once we get there and we'll have plenty of guards to help keep an eye on things."
Kenna shook her head, "No, I want to go. I'm honestly going to be fine. I think… I think it's just the smell."
America blinked. "The smell?"
"Walking through the kitchens like that, I smelled everything. Raw meat, fish stew—"
"Oh, Kenna, I didn't even think of that! I'm so sorry!"
"It's alright." Kenna reassured her, soothingly. "Safety is the top priority, and this is the safest exit we can take from the Palace right now. I'd much rather feel a little nauseous and make it to Mom's house unharmed."
America nodded, but chewed her lip thoroughly. Next time, they'd take a different exit. She well remembered how bad the smells were when she was pregnant with Addy.
Maxon appeared in the door way, sleeves rolled up and an adorable smudge of grease on his cheek. "Alright. The cars are safe, I checked everything myself."
"You know about cars, Maxon?" Kenna asked innocently, surprised and impressed.
"Ah, well… yes, I also had the Palace's head mechanic with me… he helped." Maxon confessed.
America laughed and picked up a clean rag from the countertop next to her. She wetted the rag in the sink and then pressed her body flush to Maxon's, dabbing away the grease smudge. "Thank you, Maxon. Addy and I feel very safe now."
"You do?" he asked, hopefully.
"Yes."
"Don't feel too safe." He warned, "Stay alert."
America pressed a kiss to his lips. "I promise."
On the other side of the room, Kenna was flagging Astra down, "Say goodbye to Ms. Paige. We'll see her tomorrow."
"Bye, Ms. Paige!" Astra waved furiously, even though Paige was standing right there.
"Goodbye, Princess." Paige laughed, wrapping up the uneaten portion of the grapes to return to the produce refrigerator. "Have a wonderful time at your Gramma's house."
"Okay!" Astra nodded at the suggestion, as though the thought hadn't previously occurred to her and Paige was a genius for thinking of it.
Paige curtseyed her way out of the room.
Maxon sighed, letting his hands trace their way from America's shoulders, down her back, and finally rest on her hips. "I wish Addy wasn't asleep over there." he nodded to Addy, who was fast asleep in her safety seat, set near the door. "I need to hold her in my arms one more time before you go."
America let her hands fall on Maxon's upper arms, enjoying the firmness of the muscles that curved beneath her fingertips. "If you're so interested in holding her, you can do all the middle-of-the-night feedings tonight, and then hold her to your heart's content." she teased.
Maxon smiled, ruefully. "I honestly might, Ames."
America nodded sympathetically and pressed another kiss to his lips. "Come on. She's all buckled in there, safe and sound and ready to go. Let's not disturb her."
"You're right." Maxon agreed reluctantly, and he stepped back from America to gently, carefully grasp the handle of the safety seat, picking it, along with Addy, up as if it weighed nothing at all.
"Mackin? You coming to Gramma's?" Astra asked, slipping her tiny hand into his free hand. He very bravely led the group out into the fresh winter air where their car was waiting.
"Not this time, Pumpkin head. I have to stay here and work."
"Aw."
"I hope I'll get to go next time."
"Mackin, you are the King, you can come. No one will be mad at you." Astra encouraged him, reassuringly.
"I wish I could, but I need to make sure everything is safe and good in the Kingdom. Kings have to do a lot of work if we want to stay in this beautiful Palace."
"Oh. Need help? I'm very good at colors." Astra reported. America had no doubt that this was true, if Astra had inherited even an ounce of Kenna's amazing talent as an artist. Shalom's talent, really, alive and well in a third generation.
"Thank you very much, but I can handle it for today. Another time?"
"Yes." Astra promised him.
Maxon allowed Carter to open the car door for him only because his own hands were full of kids. As soon as the door was open, Astra crawled inside and gasped. "It's a whole room in here!" The limousines in the Palace fleet were actually better armored than the unmarked black cars, so for this occasion, Maxon had ordered the guards and the royals to travel by limo. It was Astra's first experience in such a car.
"Wait until she finds the juice boxes." Maxon grinned at America, but it was forced. He was so worried.
Kenna crawled in behind Astra to start getting her settled in and buckled up. Maxon ducked into the car and began fastening Addy's safety seat in, testing it twice to make sure it was secure. Then he ducked out and turned to America.
"I'll talk to you in fifteen minutes, as soon as the car pulls into Mom's front gate." America promised.
"I know." Maxon nodded. "I'm just… I'm going to miss you two. That's all. I'm not used to not having my girls nearby." he was practically pouting.
"We love you, Maxon." America reassured him, hugging him tightly. "We'll be back in time for dinner."
"Have fun. Give Magda and Gerad and May my love."
"I will."
"And I want you to take this." Maxon said, reaching into his pants pocket and pulling out the flat little camera that he kept with him at all times. "Take a thousand pictures today, okay, Love?"
America giggled, "What if I only take five hundred?"
Maxon shook his head, allowing a smile to creep onto his lips. "A thousand and not a snapshot less."
They kissed one more time, and then America slipped into the car. Maxon waved to everyone inside one more time, then closed the door for them. The sound of the car door closing caused Addy to stir, make a disturbed face, and then fall still again. A moment later, her sleepy grey eyes blinked open.
"She's good?" Kenna checked. She and Astra were in the side seats facing America and couldn't clearly see Addy's face.
"All good." America said, watching Addy's face a moment longer to be sure. No crying fit seemed to be on the horizon, even after such a loud awakening. "Hey, Astra, guess what Uncle Maxon told me."
"Hm?" Astra asked, happily kicking her feet, which did not touch the floor of the car.
"See that little bump in the thing under the window?"
"Yeah."
"That's a secret box."
"What?" Astra was shocked.
"And inside, there might just be some ice and some juice boxes."
Astra squeaked as she hurriedly began trying to figure out how to open the compartment. When she finally figured out how to lift the lid, she gasped and grinned. "Apple juice!"
"One for your Mommy, too, okay? It will help her feel better." America said, looking pointedly at Kenna.
Kenna nodded and accepted the box from her daughter, with a 'Thank you' that was also directed at Ames.
In the front seat, the passenger door opened and closed, and Carter turned around to look at them. "All set, your Majesty?"
"Kile's Daddy?" Astra gasped, one hand on the juice box Kenna was opening for her, though Carter now had her full attention.
"Hello, Beetlebug." Carter nodded to her.
"You are going to Gramma's house?" Astra couldn't believe it.
"Yes I am." Carter confirmed.
"Where's Kile? Kile can come? I want Kile."
"Not this time, Kile's at his Grandma and Grandpa's house today."
Astra frowned, but her juice box was now open, so she didn't linger on her disappointment for too long.
America brushed a finger across Addy's brow, locking eyes with her remarkably calm daughter. Addy was usually much more grumpy than this when she woke up from a nap. America figured that she must just be soaking in the brand new surroundings.
"Yes, Carter, we're all set. Let's go."
Carter turned around in his seat and nodded to the driver, who put the car in gear. America quickly craned her head around to get one last look at Maxon through the heavily tinted windows. He couldn't see them, but his eyes were fixed on the spot where America and Addy were in the car. He noticed the car shift into gear and he took a step back, lifting a hand to wave to them. He looked like a lost puppy out there.
America looked back to Addy as the car began to roll away.
"You don't have to look so sad, Ames, you'll be back in time for dinner." Kenna laughed. She was clearly already feeling better now that she was away from the kitchen smells. "I swear, you two never know how to cope when you're apart."
America knew she was being silly, but the expression on Maxon's face had broken her heart. "I'm doing the right thing, aren't I? Taking Addy out of the Palace so soon?"
"Of course you are, Ames. And Mom is going to be thrilled to have her over."
"I know that. Maybe I should have tried to find a time when Maxon and I could both sneak out of the Palace for a morning? He offered to go with us this Sunday. That way he wouldn't look so…. abandoned."
Kenna shook her head, sympathetically. "He's going to be fine. And when you and Addy join him for dinner tonight, he'll see that the world isn't always trying to steal his family from him. He'll get a little braver, and next time you and Addy leave the Palace, you'll be able to go a little farther, for a little longer, and it won't hurt him half as bad. This is good for him, and good for Addy. It's good for you, to get out of the Palace for a little bit, and it's good for Mom, May, and Gerad. It's definitely good for Astra and me… Especially, you know… right now." Kenna glanced down at her stomach.
America nodded her understanding and took a deep, steadying breath, sitting up straight. "You're right. This is all good."
The moment the car pulled in through the protective gates in front of Magda's house, Carter passed his radio back to America. America clicked the button and a moment later, Maxon's voice came through the speaker.
"Hello?"
"We made it, sweetheart."
Astra, who had been fidgeting excitedly in her seat, exclaimed, "I hear Mackin!"
America grinned, "That's him on the radio."
"Hi Mackin!"
America clicked the button. "Astra says hi."
A moment later, and Maxon's voice came through, "Hello, my beloved Pumpkin head. Is everything alright, America?"
"Perfect."
"How was Addy's first car ride?"
"Smooth and calm. She spent most of the time staring out the window, bewildered."
A moment passed, and Maxon's voice came through colored with a chuckle. "It's always the simple things with our daughter."
"Isn't it?" America agreed, grinning.
A moment. "Kenna's alright?"
"Perfect. Much better."
"Good. And you're going to take pictures?"
"Lots and lots of pictures."
"How many pictures?" Maxon's voice demanded.
"I was thinking I'd take thirty or forty."
"No, Ames!" the voice was scandalized. "A thousand! A thousand pictures, remember?"
America laughed, "Alright, we're pulling up to the house, I need to get Addy out of her seat."
"Alright, I love you."
"I love you, too."
America passed the radio back to Carter and removed the clip holding Addy securely in her safety seat.
"That was fun, wasn't it little girl?" America asked Addy, smiling.
Addy gurgled and slobbered in reply. By the time America mopped her up and gently scooped her into a snuggle, the car was stopped, Carter was out and conversing with the head of Magda's security detail, and their driver was opening the door next to America to let them go.
"Go ahead, Astra." America said, seeing the four-year-old's struggle to keep her seat.
Astra gulped and shared a look with her mother. Kenna nodded toward America.
"Need any help, Aunt Ames? I can hold Addy." Astra offered. Kenna patted her hair, proudly.
"Thank you so much for offering, but I'm all good. Why don't you go see Gramma?"
Kenna patted Astra's back to let her know it was alright, and Astra practically flew out of the car and dashed toward the front steps, where Magda, May, and Gerad were finally arriving to greet them.
"Gramma!" America heard Astra shriek as she was swept up into Magda's waiting arms.
"You're doing a good job with her, Ken." America said, smiling at her sister as Kenna slid out to join her daughter.
"Thanks, Ames." Kenna paused, a truly flattered expression on her face. "That's always nice to hear."
"I can't wait to meet the next one." America sang and Kenna shushed her, sliding the rest of the way out of the car.
May now had Astra by the hands and was twirling her around in circles so fast, Astra's little feet left the ground. The giggles were infectious, everyone was laughing.
Magda hurried forward to greet Kenna with a hug, and then she placed both hands on Kenna's cheeks, saying something to her that America couldn't hear. They were both grinning as one of Magda's hands flitted down to graze Kenna's stomach before releasing her.
America let them have their moment together as she took Carter's offered hand to help her out of the car.
"The grounds are secure, ma'am." Carter gave her a little bow, once she was out and up, Addy snuggled close to her chest.
"I know they are. They always are, the guards keep my family very safe. Did Maxon order an extra sweep or something?"
Carter nodded sheepishly. "He just wanted us to double check."
America rolled her eyes. Her mother, May, and Gerad had guards protecting this house all day, every day, the grounds were constantly secured. What exactly did Maxon think those guards were doing out here? Playing cards?
"Thank you, Carter, go ahead and inform the King that everything is fine here."
"Yes, ma'am."
Kenna was off to greet May and Gerad now, and Magda was hurrying over to see the baby. "Well, if it isn't the Queen herself."
"Hi, Mom." America said.
"How are you, America? You look exhausted." Magda said as they hugged, careful not to squish Adrienne.
"…Thanks?" America wasn't sure how to take that.
"You don't have enough help at that Palace, America."
"Mom, the Palace is full of people who help us. All the people in that Palace who aren't Maxon, Addy, or me, are there to help us. We have lots of help."
Magda ignored this. "I don't know how you and Maxon do it, running the entire country and taking care of a newborn."
"You took care of five children at the same time, remember? Addy's probably a breeze compared to that." America pointed out.
"Well, I wasn't exactly running all of Illéa while I was doing it. Here, hand me that baby and you go inside and get comfortable."
America agreed to let the subject drop. Magda's incessant needling and worrying over America's life at the Palace was sort of another way that the older woman said 'I love you'.
Addy cried a little at leaving America's arms, but Magda was quick to soothe her with calming noises and gentle bouncing.
Magda held a finger above Addy's little hands. "Will she reach out and grab you yet?" Magda asked.
"She's not quite there yet." America said, pressing a little kiss to Addy's forehead.
Magda grinned and pressed her finger into Addy's palm. Addy clutched it tight, reflexively.
"Just you wait. Once she figures out how to reach for what she wants, that's when the hair-pulling will begin. That'll be the end of your dangling earrings for a while, America, if you value your earlobes."
America sighed. Her mother sometimes had the uncanny ability to make her feel simultaneously better and worse. "Do you have any lemonade?"
"I do. I've mixed it with iced tea today, it's in the kitchen. You and Kenna help yourselves."
"Right. Thanks, Mom."
America turned toward her sisters and brother, but found Carter standing there with a diaper bag on one arm and a radio in the other. "His Majesty wanted me to remind you not to leave the bag in the car."
"Thanks, Carter." America took it from him.
Carter bowed and went back to work.
"Ames!" May waved her over. America happily hurried over for a big hug.
Astra was now on Gerad's back, getting a ride around the long driveway, but when he saw she was done talking to Magda, Gerad trotted over to kiss America's cheek.
"Um, America?" Gerad said, looking a little nervous.
"Yeah?"
"I was thinking… well I want to talk to you about some stuff."
"Oh. Okay." America had no idea what this could mean. "What's going on?"
"It's no big deal." Gerad hurried to explain. "Just… remember that place we went with Maxon, and it had a bunch of kids there, and they took different kinds of classes and stuff? Maxon taught them about cameras?"
America giggled, "The learning center? Yeah, I remember, Ger."
"Well, they have a cool baseball program there, it starts next month… I want to go there in the afternoons and play ball."
"Oh." America lifted her eyebrows in surprise. Astra wiggled off of Gerad's back and latched onto May's leg for a ride. May obliged, but tried to stay close enough so that she could hear the exchange between America and Gerad. "What does Mom say?"
"She says I can, but only if Maxon decides it's alright. I'd probably have to take a guard with me, and it might be inconvenient for the center to have to deal with my security."
"Maybe." America nodded.
"But if you and Maxon agree, and the place agrees, then Mom says I can go play baseball with them."
America nodded. "I'll talk to Maxon about it tonight."
Gerad smiled his adorable, toothy grin, and hugged her. "Thanks. And also, I want to start training with the guards again. I miss that, it was really fun."
"Do your guards train here?"
"Nah, they rotate back to the Palace to run the obstacle courses there and stuff. That's what I want to do. If Aspen says 'Okay', then Mom says I can do that, too, a couple of times a week."
America still hated the idea of her baby brother becoming a guard. But if he was going to become a guard someday, she'd rather he be the most experienced, best trained guard in the world. "Well, I'll talk to Aspen and Maxon about it. I can already tell you, there will be rules."
"Rules?"
"Like, on afternoons when you come to the Palace to train, you stay for dinner with me and Maxon."
"Oh." Gerad nodded, happy with that. "That sounds fun."
"And Mom thinks she can get all of your homeschooling in around these activities?"
"Yeah! Now that I'm the only kid, I get through my work a lot faster."
America pressed a kiss to Gerad's forehead. "Okay, then. Maxon and I will discuss it all."
"Thanks, Ames!"
May grinned at the exchange and hobbled back over, slipping her arm through America's. "How was the ride over?"
"Perfect. Addy was very calm and Astra kept as still as she could manage."
"I'm so glad you guys made it." She started leading America into the kitchen, ignoring the giggling girl attached to her leg. "I really miss living at the Palace sometimes. It was so nice to be able to see you and Addy any time I wanted."
"And maybe a certain Palace guard?" America asked, wiggling her eyebrows.
May blushed, staring at her feet. "Maybe. Is he here?" she looked up, hopefully.
"No. Maxon thought you'd distract him from protecting us."
"Of course I would distract him from protecting you! He only gets one day off a week, it's not fair." May pouted.
"He loves his job, May, and it's a very important job. He's on our personal security detail now, that's a very prestigious position. You've got to support his busy job, you know. He'll hate always feeling like he's choosing between the work he loves and the girl he loves."
May sighed, "I guess Maxon's like that, too? Always working?"
"Yes. Sometimes I try to convince him to take some time off and relax with me, but most of the time I meet him where he is. We eat lunch in his office or fit in a walk through the gardens between meetings. We try to make our schedules match so that we can still have a few minutes together here and there."
They were in the kitchen now, and May was pouring everyone glasses of iced tea with a splash of lemonade. Astra was the first served, then Kenna, then America.
"So, I should meet Ryland on his lunch breaks?" May asked.
"Yeah, if you can, he'd love that. Show him parts of the Palace he hasn't gotten to see in his time as a guard."
"Yeah. I can do that." May smiled, brightly. "That sounds nice."
"He'll like knowing that he's got your support. It'll make him feel stronger, just like his support makes you feel stronger."
"You just be careful, America." May said, eyeing her suspiciously. "You're starting to sound as wise as Kenna."
Kenna laughed in surprise and choked a little on the tea in her mouth.
Magda absolutely monopolized little Addy's time, although May did get to swoop in steal her for a little bit. Astra bounced between running wild with Gerad and playing 'makeover' with May, both giving and receiving makeovers.
America and Kenna got to lounge around, relaxing, even taking short naps. It was the most wonderful gift their family could have given them. Kenna even took a long, hot bath in her room, soaking for much longer than she normally allowed herself. It was the ultimate in luxury for both of them.
Lunch was a simple affair, but wonderful. Just sitting down at a table together, all the Singers in one room, was refreshing. After they were done eating, America fed Addy in the privacy of May's room, but May joined them to keep America company.
"She's a pretty agreeable baby." May said, looking at the lump that was Addy's head under the privacy blanket.
"I know. Maxon and I got lucky. She has her moods, don't get me wrong. She gets cranky when she's too tired or too hungry, and then there's just no reasoning with her."
May giggled. "Kind of like her mother, then?"
"That's what Maxon says." America grinned.
May sprawled out on her bed next to America and sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "Nicoletta invited me to Italy."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"She joked about it, but I didn't know she was really going to ask you."
"Do you think I should go?"
America shrugged. "Do you want to go?"
"Sort of. I want to see the art, Ames, they have the most amazing art, preserved from thousands of years ago! Between that and the food…"
America laughed. "Well, go for a couple of weeks, then. What do you have to lose?"
May propped her head up on her hand, her expression serious. "Ryland."
"Oh, May, no."
"We hardly spend any time together as it is. What if I leave the country and he just… decides it isn't working?"
"May, you need to talk to him about that, if you're feeling that unsure of where things stand."
"Yeah. You're right."
"And if now isn't the right time to go to Italy, if you need to spend some time focusing on your relationship instead, that's one thing. But if your relationship is actually keeping you from living, from doing what you love, then that's no good, May. Good relationships give you more power, not less."
May exhaled and collapsed back down on the bed. "I just don't want to mess this up."
"I get that." America said, thinking of all the times she'd messed up with Maxon during his Selection. "But if you going to Italy for a little while is really all it takes to mess it up, then it's not so strong to begin with, is it? Think of everything I put Maxon through when we were dating. Think of everything he put me through. None of that was enough to ruin us… I mean, Aspen almost was, but in the end it all made us stronger. That's what you should be looking for, and if Ryland isn't that, then I don't really think he's the one for you, May. And if he is that, then you'll grow stronger from this Italy trip, not weaker, and then maybe Ryland is the one."
May grinned, dopily. "Maybe."
America nodded, giggling at her sister's lovestruck expression. "Maybe."
Far too soon for America's liking, it was time to head back to the Palace for dinner. Kenna and Astra were staying behind to spend the weekend at Magda's house. James was already on his way home from work, and Gerad was excited about playing a shootout match of soccer with him.
America knew she had to go back to the Palace, to her responsibilities and her stresses, to her duties as Queen, and to the man she loved, but her mother's house was such a refuge that she vowed to sneak out here with Addy as often as she could. She could just see Addy at Astra's age, running wild outside with a slightly older version of Gerad and learning to use different makeup brushes with May and snuggling in for a bedtime story with Grandma. All of this beautiful, happy normalcy for the heir to the Illéan throne, and it was only fifteen minutes away from the Palace. America would have to make use of it as often as possible.
Addy was buckled back into her safety seat and America was hugging everyone goodbye, her mother last of all.
"Thank you, Mom." she said, trying to convey her gratitude for this amazing day.
"You're so very welcome, America." Magda reassured her, pushing a loose strand of America's red hair back from her face. "You and your babies will always have a place here."
"I know." America nodded, feeling her throat tighten with emotion.
"Good." Magda patted her cheek and then stepped back so that America could duck into the car and start heading back to the Palace. Maxon would be worried sick if she was late.
This time, the closing car door didn't bother Addy at all. That baby slept hard, all the way home, exhausted from a long day of new experiences and being passed around from Grandma to Aunt May to Uncle Gerad and back again.
Maxon was pacing outside the kitchen entrance when America's limo rolled to a stop. The elation on his face was almost comical, given the circumstances. One would have thought Addy and America were returning from war, or some other long and dangerous engagement, given the greeting they received.
Maxon went back and forth, kissing his wife and his sleeping baby in turn, for what felt like forever. Finally he said, "Was it good?"
"So good, Maxon. Indescribably good."
"I'm glad. I want to go next time."
"You should."
"And Addy was no trouble?"
"None. She only really threatened to cry once, and Mom took care of that right away."
"Wonderful. And you took a thousand pictures?"
"Thirty." America corrected, gently.
Maxon sighed as if he was much put-upon, but he eagerly took the camera from her to begin looking through the bounty, even as he carried Addy and led America inside to the quiet meal they'd be sharing in the family room.
Maxon did not approve, in a very fatherly way, of the pictures of Astra wearing makeup, he felt she was just much too young for such things. But he had a good laugh at May's makeover from Astra, with lipstick all over her lower face and eyeshadow up to her forehead. He came across a picture of Magda cradling Addy in her arms, their eyes locked on each other in a sweet moment that Maxon instantly fell in love with. He said he'd have a couple of prints made of that one so that Magda could have one, too.
America asked after Maxon's meetings, and he said that he was glad he'd stayed. They'd had some major breakthroughs with the budget, and now there would be enough surplus to help fund the memorial that America and Rolph Lemex were planning to sponsor in the south.
"So." America finally said, as Maxon tucked Addy into her crib and clicked on the monitor so that they could hear her if she cried. "Are you feeling braver now, about Addy leaving the Palace? That's what I was hoping to accomplish with all this, you know."
"I don't know. Maybe a little." Maxon confessed with a sigh. "The whole time you were gone, it was like my heart was outside of my body. My exposed, beating heart was beyond the Palace walls, far from my protection. It was so hard, Ames."
"I'm really proud of you, then." America said. "Thank you for giving us the chance to go. It was so worth it, it was so wonderful."
"I'm glad. We'll plan another time to go, sometime when we can go together, when things slow down in a few months."
"You know, you should talk to James."
"James?"
"And Aspen. When they go to work, they leave their baby girls behind everyday. Maybe they have some advice for you?"
"That's a good idea. You're a smart queen." Maxon complimented her, pecking her on the cheek. They both looked down at their sleeping daughter with immense satisfaction.
"Yeah, I'm on a 'good advice' roll today."
Maxon grinned and wrapped his arms around her, taking a moment to look up at the gorgeous, glowing, swirls of stars above. "I was thinking, maybe if we had ten more babies I wouldn't feel so lonely."
America rolled her eyes and pulled away. "Maxon."
"Hear me out, Ames, think about it. Then I'd have other babies to cuddle while you and Addy go out and conquer the world." he called after her as she made her way toward the cart of food in the next room.
"No, Maxon, we are not having ten more babies."
"Please?" Maxon begged, widening his brown eyes comically as he followed America into the room and softly closed the nursery door behind him.
America picked up a baby carrot and brought it over to him, stuffing it through his pouted lip with a giggle, "No."
Maxon laughed and pulled the carrot out of his mouth, making to stab her in the ear with it.
America squealed and danced away, "Maxon, stop! Gross!"
But it was too late. She'd already unwittingly started a food war, one which they'd be cleaning up off of the new-ish carpets (and drapes) for at least two hours to come.