Chapter 4

Aaron flicked through the channels endlessly, deperate to find something to watch that he hadn't already seen three or four times. He'd already gone through his small DVD collection twice, and was getting very agitated. A knock at the door disturbed him and Jackson poked his head round.

"Thought I'd come and see how you were mate. Plus Pearl wanted me to deliver this" Jackson smiled, holding a large blue tin.

"Well you better get the kettle on, hadn't you?"

Jackson laughed and headed towards the kitchen "You haven't changed a bit have you? Still as cheeky as ever. Urm, Aaron, why do you have a Spongebob Squarepants mug?"

"Cause he's a legend. I'm glad you're here though. I'm going out of my mind! I'm so bored!"

"Can't find anything to watch then?"

"Nope! Gone through my DVD collection twice, I think I know everything there is to know about the bloody Great White Shark and I know how to make the perfect risotto. For god's sake Jackson save me!"

Jackson laughed and gestured towards Chas' DVD collection "Bored enough to watch some of them?" He asked

"You're joking aren't you?"

"Nah man. She's got some good films your mum. I bet you'd love them."

"I am not sitting here watching some poncey film with some random frizzy haired lairy cow getting it off with a redcoat!"

"What are you going on about?"

"That film with that under age girl who gets off with Pervy Swayze."

"Dirty Dancing! Mate it's a classic! Go on. Put one on. Doesn't have to be that one."

"Alright fine. But as punishment you're staying here and watching it with me."

Jackson smiled and placed two cups of tea and two slices of cake down on the coffee table infront of Aaron and sat down.

"Hey I never said you could have any cake!"

"Aw Aaron go on. Let me. Pearl's been working me too hard and keeps calling me Jackanory for some reason."

Aaron laughed a bit too much and winced as a pain shot through his chest "Agh fuck!"

"You ok?" Jackson asked, his eyes full of concern.

"Yeah." Aaron gasped

"You sure? Aaron if you've hurt yourself tell me."

"I'm ok. Honest. Just still really tender. I sneezed this morning and I swear to god I thought I was going to split in half." Aaron smiled, struggling to stand up.

"What you doing?"

"I'm putting a dvd on Jay. See there's this thing right which doesn't exsist and that is walking DVDs. They are unable to sprout legs and fling themselves in the machine you know."

"You sit down. I'll do it. Hey, did you realise you just called me Jay? You only ever called me that when...well. You know."

"Yeah I know. And yeah I noticed. I meant what I said in that hospital you know. I know it's complicated and everything and...oh I don't know. I'm just rambling."

"No. You're not." Jackson smiled, sitting back down. "I just want you to know one thing. I never meant to hurt you. Never. I loved you with all of my heart, still do, and I threw all that away. I'm sorry that I was a total prick to you in the entire relationship..."

"You weren't Jay. You deserve better than me."

"I don't want better, Aaron. And I was a prick. I was your first boyfriend, You were struggling with your sexuality and I was expecting you to be so full on and accepting because I was. I was confident, happy, comfortable, you struggled with that and I pushed and pushed. When things didn't go my way, I didn't want to know. I was so stubborn, so stupid. I'll never forgive myself for throwing away what we had."

"You know sometimes...When Ed hurt me, I used to only ever want you. Wanted you to somehow work out what was going on and get me away. I used to lie awake at night crying, wanting you to comfort me. I know I acted like I never gave a shit about what you thought when we broke up, and that I pretended to not give a shit about you..but I do. I've never stopped caring and every single bloke I saw you with..It killed me. I wanted to be them. I wanted to be the one sitting in the pub, kissing you, holding you, I wanted to be the one to go home with you at the end of the night and do everything that they did."

"Oh Aaron.."

"And because I was scared that I wasn't going to get over you I leapt at the first bloke that laid eyes on me and ended off being his puchbag. And now he's gone, I know he's gone and I still don't feel safe. I can still feel him watching me at night. I wanted you out of my mind Jackson cause it was driving me crazy and look where it got me. A beaten, bruised, slashed rape victim. I feel so stupid."

"Tell me what you need Aaron. Anything and it's yours. Just tell me how I can help you. How I can make all of this go away!" Jackson sobbed

"You Jay. You're what can help me. I need you."

"Do you really meant that?"

Aaron nodded his head, tears rolling down his face too. Jackson lifted his hand and wiped Aaron's tears away, causing him to flinch. "Oh god babe look what he's done to you.." Jackson sobbed "Please don't be scared Aaron. He's never going to hurt you again."

Aaron nodded and placed his own hand over Jackson's and smiled at him. Jackson smiled back and slowly leaned in, capturing Aaron's lips in a tender kiss and making him his again.

"I've never stopped loving you Jackson" Aaron whispered as they parted.