Two a.m. He was shaking. His willpower was weakening. He was in pain. It physically hurt him. He needed it. It was in his messenger bag. He could go and get it. It wouldn't take long to fill the syringe - to push it into a vein. And, at least for a little while, it would all be gone. No more pain. No more memories. It was that simple.
He eased up out of his bed, stumbling to the chair where he had dropped his bag. As he groped around inside of the bag his hand curled around something else, cold and solid. His cell phone.
It was another option. It was a better option. She had told him if he ever needed her to call. It would take less time to push that one button than it would to inject himself. So he pushed the speed dial button. There was no doubt in his mind that she would pick up.
"Jareau." She answered.
"JJ?" His voice sounded pathetically small in his darkened house.
"Spence. Are you okay?"
"I – I just… Can you just talk to me?"
"It's okay. You're going to be okay. This isn't going to beat you. I won't let it."
"It hurts so much."
"But you're getting better, Spence. You're healing. Don't give up now."And she kept right on talking to him – for two hours she talked and he listened. She talked about the team, about Henry, about everything under the sun – or the moon as it were.
The next afternoon, at work, he was in the bullpen, having just returned from a long talk with a lonely Garcia in her lair. When he flipped open his messenger bag to retrieve a case file, he noticed the bottles of Dilaudid. They were empty. Taped to one of them was a note.
You're going to be okay. – JJ
He removed the note from the bottle, folded it, and put it in his pocket. It was something to hold on to.
I've had this song "Broken" by Lifehouse stuck in my head since Monday. My theory is that if I write the story that came with the song into my brain, it might go away for a little while. Don't get me wrong: I love the song. Just not for four straight days. Anyway, the story was inspired by the chorus of the song. Please review! Thanks! :)