Ok, it's happening, this is the last chapter before the truth begins to get found out so bare with me. I know this story has dragged, I feel I wrote parts of it wrong and therefore it's taken ages but it's finally getting there.
I knew I had to apologise, I also knew that I had left it too long. It had been two days since I had snapped at Paul, two days since I had seen him. No, two days since I had spoken to him. I had seen him when he dropped by to talk with Sam yesterday afternoon as I picked graduation outfits out with Emily, I had looked out of my window and saw him stood by the garage with Sam having what looked like a heated conversation that ended with Sam pushing Paul away before locking himself in his garage. Emily had also seen it and offered me a sad sort of look before desperately trying and failing to distract me by shoving more and more dresses in my face.
So, here I was, two days after first snapping at the guy who had gone out of his way to make my birthday special, here I was stood outside of his house for the second time this week. The only difference being this time I was actually going to knock instead of hide behind a tree.
I clutched the brown paper bag tightly between my hands and stepped up the little concrete step at the front door. Raising one fist I hovered, the faded red wooden door seemed to loom over me as if taunting me and a wave of nausea and nerves swept through me. I didn't have a clue what I was even going to do or say but I had to do something, I did count him as my friend, I spent nearly ever weekend with him and in the last month I had seen him most nights. If I was rude to Kim then I would apologise straight away, this was no different. Except Kim didn't frighten me as much as Paul did, or confuse me, or make me feel so conflicted internally. I didn't have a raging crush on Kim or get jealous when I saw her with other people, Paul was different. The situation was different, I didn't understand it but it was different. Part of me wanted to run away but I couldn't, I had to knock and so my little scrunched up fist jerked and a small barely audible knock tapped at the silent house. His truck was out front so unless he was patrolling he was probably in. I waited dropping my curled fist back to its position squeezing the paper bag together, there was no movement and so shakily I gave another little knock which was no louder than the first. He was probably out, I should go, he isn't here. He patrols all night and works most days, I didn't know what he did but I know he worked. He was probably at work. It was Tuesday, people work Tuesdays. I was only free because I had finished school and so far had failed to sort out the rest of my life as Sam so bluntly put it over dinner last night.
I nodded to assure myself finally that he wasn't in and I really needed to find a daytime job or hobby or something to do with my time before turning to leave. I nearly made it, I nearly reached the gate and to the safety of the road back home when I heard the click of the lock and the squeak of the door opening. My eyes slipped shut as my insides knotted horribly, I froze in mid step and his gruff voice made my skin flush in heat.
"Savannah?"
His voice was full of sleep and I snapped my body back around to see him stood rubbing his eyes as he frowned at me. I would have spoken had his appearance not startled me; he was in nothing except boxers. I could normally deal with shorts that hung lazily off his hips because all of the guys wore them before and after patrolling for easiness, Sam always walked around semi naked in baggy shorts but Paul in slightly loose boxers wasn't something I could just look past. I could see everything. His thick tree trunk like thighs were staring at me, the muscles that lay there twitching as he hovered tiredly in the door way, his abs were protruding from his skin and I tried not to look but I could see a V shape diving against his abdomen.
He let out a somewhat awkward cough and I jumped in startle, I had been staring at his body, I had openly been staring at him. I was such a freak. My skin flushed in heat again and my insides nose dived while I tried to look at his face. He was tried, his cropped hair was shooting in all directions and he was blinking rapidly as if trying to stop the brightness of the outdoor light hurting his eyes.
"Sorry, I uhh did I wake you?" My voice stuttered slightly as I spoke and he frowned harder at me before giving off a somewhat sarcastic snort of laughter.
"It's eight thirty in the morning"
"Oh" I squeaked and one of my bunched up fists released the paper bag and reached into my back pocket of my jean shorts and pulled out my phone, clicking the screen on I saw he was right, it was half eight in the morning. Why was I awake? Why was I showered, dressed and at his house at half eight? "I guess I'm still on school body clock, sorry I can come back later"
I went to turn and walk away but he called out stopping me, his semi naked body nearly flying out of the door as he reached his hand out as if trying to grab me.
"I don't mind, I'm sure Sam can find something for me to do, he's going a little crazy with me not being at school. I think I'm annoying him at home, I keep eating his food and messing with his tool box" I rambled nervously, my voice was going higher with each word I spoke and Paul seemed to smirk a little. "You know how Sam can be with the tool box" I added in and Paul nodded slightly. "He is so OCD about it, the other day I accidently put the spanner in the wrong place and he sulked about it for twenty minutes straight before Emily got home and made him stop" I went on, the words falling out of my mouth like verbal diarrhoea. I was so nervous I was just sprouting out anything I could think of until nothing came and I was just stood in Paul's front lawn looking at him.
"Right" Paul smirked again and lifted one arm so he could lean against the swaying door. the muscles that bulged as he rested it upwards made my stomach soar and I had to gulp my hitched breath back down before I let out a sigh of admiration. It should be illegal how amazingly sculptured his body was. It was as if he had been carved from stone, he was perfect.
"So, you came here at half eight in the morning and woke me up to tell me about Sam's tool box or was there something else?" Paul asked slowly as he watched me eye him up, he was smirking because he could see me checking him out.
I immediately dropped my eyes to the floor as my cheeks flamed in redness and my hands clutched the bag that was hanging at my stomach tighter. This was stupid. I should have checked the time before I came out but truth be told I hadn't slept at all or done anything but obsess since I decided last night that I would come and see him today. I had barely slept, I had led there thinking of things to say and how to say I'm sorry and then when I couldn't toss and turn any longer I got up and got ready and walked here. Thinking back on it, the walk here had been eerily quiet and cold, only the birds singing offered noise and there were hardly any cars.
"Uhh there was something else" I spoke quietly as I twisted my fingers around each other and he nodded, waiting for me to say something but I didn't say anything.
"And that was?" He prompted after a few minutes of silence in which his neighbour left his house and waved over to Paul before climbing into his car and speeding off for work. This was ridiculous, I was being a coward.
"I'm sorry" I blurted out as a sudden surge of confidence washed through me, letting out a long breath as I said it. I had done it, I had apologised. I wasn't a coward.
"For?" Paul frowned again and my insides fell, I hadn't anticipated him asking that. I had figured I could say sorry, give him the peace offering I brought and that would be it.
I gave another sigh and my body fell forward toward him, I saw him stiffen slightly and manoeuvre himself so that he was sort of covered by the door which I was grateful for. I could barely stand his nakedness from afar, up close I would probably die.
"For being a total bitch to you and just being a horribly hormonal teenager when you didn't do anything wrong"
It all came out in one long breath and Paul's eyebrows shot up before he too took a long breath and gave a short nod. He opened the door to his house more and turned to the side, I could fully see him, every inch of him. As he turned I caught the curve of his ass and saw that he had some serious junk to his trunk, he was perkier than I was back there. Oh sweet god, I was being stupid. He can see me stood here checking him out and I keep doing it.
"You should come in, old Rita across the street is watching us" Paul nodded toward a house behind us and I turned to see the most run down of the houses where sure enough an old woman was peering through her front window just watching us. He stood aside letting me walk in and I did, I had been here before, once when he found me attempting to run away and when we had both escaped Sam to come here. It seemed like so long ago since I was told of the wolves, so long ago since I had run away and Paul had found me, twice. That was when he openly disliked me, it was also the same time when he first began talking to me like I was human and not a child, he still had his moments though.
I kept walking while he shut the door and the dim hallway seemed to grow smaller as he rounded on me, his arm brushed against mine as he overtook me and a shiver ran over me, the warmth he passed on was one that my body seemed to love. It was a nice warmth, not too hot but just right. I found Sam unbearably hot, even just sitting by him on the sofa was too much and in class when I sat with one of the guys I had to always be near a window but Paul seemed cooler than them, he was just right.
"I'll go put some clothes on, that way you won't be so distracted" He smirked as he walked past me, his eyes dancing down so he could see me as I blushed and I had to look away.
"I wasn't distracted" I shot back like some sort of embarrassed child and he simply 'mmm-hmm'd me as he walked to his stairs and took them two at a time until I could no longer watch his muscles exploding against his skin as he leapt. I needed to get over my crush, not only was it causing me to nearly ruin our growing friendship but it was turning me into some hormone raging girl who ogled him at every chance she got.
I could hear him in his bedroom, drawers opening and shutting, his floorboards creaking and then the running of taps as he dashed across to the bathroom. My eyes fell over the hall, the pictures that hung there of a once happy family, pictures of La Push, souvenirs from vacation spots. It was a house I wouldn't expect a twenty one year old guy to live in, he hadn't changed it what so ever since his mom died. I walked into the living room, the sofa was ruffled with a blanket and pillows strewn across it while on the floor was a half drunk bottle of beer and a empty bag of chips, the TV remote was lay there too but the TV was off. Then my eyes found the other bottles, two empty ones and one unopened one lay on the coffee table. He always drank beer.
I picked an empty one up and scanned the label although I wasn't sure why, I just let the bottle roll between my fingers while I read about the alcohol units it contained.
"You want to try one?"
The bottle rolled from my fingers and I tensed waiting for it to smash but the sound didn't come, Paul had swung out for it and caught it right before it hit the glass top of the coffee table and his body had swooped closer to mine, nearly touching me as he froze mid dive. I hadn't realised he was down here.
"Sorry" I squeaked and he stood upright but didn't move backwards, I could feel the heat radiating from him and smell the mint of his freshly brushed teeth. He had put shorts and a hoody on; his hair was just as ruffled as it had been earlier. My eyes were dancing over him, taking it all in until I found his eyes doing the same back to me. We were too close. I took a little stumble backwards and shook my head before scrunching my nose up. "I don't like beer"
"You aren't old enough to drink it"
"Nope but Kerry has an older brother who is at college, he finds it fun to get his little sister and her friends drunk" I offered up and he nodded, I had told him that Kerry liked to throw parties when her dad went away on business. Her brother always supplied the drink without any worries for how young we were. "Why do you drink it?"
Paul looked caught off guard as he stared down at me, his mouth opened and shut a few times not knowing how to respond and I realised I was being invasive.
"Sorry" I started but he shook his head stopping me, he said nothing else though. He simply turned and began tidying up the mess he had left on the sofa and floor. I watched as he lay the pillows out neatly and started folding the blanket up.
"I had an uncle" He started, his voice again making me jump slightly. "My dad's brother, Uncle Jeff, he was an alcoholic. Always had been for as long as I could remember, he used to carry a hip flask around with him and his breath always stunk of beer, I hated it. Then one day I asked him why he drank so much and he said to forget" He paused and turned to me, throwing the blanket down onto the arm of the sofa before grabbing for the empty bottles on chip packet. "He had been in the military like my dad, he saw things that he didn't want to see, he saw his friends die, he watched children get blown up in street attacks. He said to me that beer made him forget all the things he didn't want to face or remember, when my dad had his stroke my uncle turned up with a pack of beers for me and then when my mom died" He paused again and started to laugh a little. "I sound like an alcoholic"
I shook my head at him then nodded slightly, he did sound a little crazy.
"It's not like that, I mean I can't even get drunk and truth be told I still can't stand the taste but he said it makes you forget and when my head starts working and I start thinking about things I just want to forget"
"Does it work?" I whispered and he looked up to meet my glance, his head shaking shortly.
"No, nothing works except when" He stopped again and nibbled on the inside of his lip. "There is one thing that helps, one thing that makes things seem brighter but it's complicated. Maybe I should quit these things though?" He waved a beer bottle at me and I took it before nodding. I wanted to know about the thing that helps, his eyes sparkled when he said it but I knew from his tone that he was saying nothing else.
"What happened to your Uncle Jeff?" I asked as I followed him to his kitchen and helped him load the bottles into the trash.
"Uhh the beer didn't work well for him either"
"Oh god, he died didn't he?" I slapped my hand to my forehead, I always asked too many questions and with Paul it seemed to always end in someone dying. He gave a little laugh and settled against the kitchen counter. "Sorry"
"That seems to be your word of the day"
"I guess" I lowered my hand back down to the bag I was still clutching in my other hand and Paul's laugh stopped, he was just watching me now and my stomach gave a flip as we arrived at the conversation I knew we had to have. "I brought a peace offering" I held the bag up to him and he frowned at me.
"A peace offering?"
"Yeah, I hoped I could butter you up in case I lost my nerve and couldn't say sorry without sounding stupid" I thrust it toward him again and he took it but he didn't look into the bag, he lay them on the counter and focused on me again.
"It's fine Savannah, don't worry about it" He shrugged acting like it was all fine but I knew it wasn't. I felt awful about it and he didn't sound fine, he hadn't talked to me for two days. Normally if he came by to see Sam he would at least come inside and say hi to me.
"It's not fine and I am worrying about it. I shouldn't have been like that with you, what you did for my birthday was amazing and I had such a good weekend" I paused and looked over him, he was watching me intently, it was like I was his favourite movie and he couldn't take his eyes off it. "I guess, if I hadn't been in such a shitty mood I would have said thank you and told you how nice it was for you to bring them here, and the present was even better except I ate so many of those candy pieces that my shorts barely fit me anymore" My finger prodded the button of my blue jean shorts and I noticed his eyes look down at my legs, a slight redness grew on his cheeks and his tongue flicked out to lick his lips. I felt on show, not in a creepy way but my converse covered feet quickly shifted so that my legs were crossed tightly as if it made any difference to the amount of bare skin he could see.
"I just mean to say thank you, I was dreading my birthday because of my mom not being here and having them here just made it feel more normal I suppose" I gave a final shrug as a stab of pain hit my gut, I hated talking or thinking about my mom. I had cried on Saturday morning whilst showering that she hadn't been there to blow balloons in my face or chuck endless amounts of syrup drenched pancakes at me for breakfast. I had thought the day would go from bad to worse but it hadn't done and it was all because of Paul.
"It's ok honestly; I think I've been an asshole enough times to you that I deserve it back once in a while" He tried to smile and for a second he did but then he just looked sad again.
"You aren't an asshole" I shook my head, my voice went higher than normal and Paul started to smirk with amusement.
"I distinctly remember you calling me an asshole within the first two weeks of us meeting, and a fair few times since"
"Well, maybe sometimes but recently you have been doing really well at not being an asshole"
"You sound like a teacher writing a report about me. Paul has really improved his behaviour recently, he's a lovely young man and a real asset to the pack" He put on an overly kind voice as he spoke and I started giggling, he could be funny sometimes.
"Paul can also be a really good friend" I added in calming my laughs, Paul straightened himself up too and watched as I tip toed toward him, I wasn't even sure what I was doing but my body moved.
"Thank you and I am sorry" I said in a whisper as I came to a stop in front of him, my arms seemed to lift and my body began tingling as I let the feelings he stirred inside take over and I leaned in to give him a hug. He seemed to freeze for a second but as I stood on my tip toes and reached around his neck his arms moved and looped themselves around my middle, at first we lingered there somewhat awkwardly, neither of us using much force but then his arms tightened and my body was brought closer against his. The jean material of his shorts rubbed against my leg and a stir of heat ran through my stomach. I hadn't hugged him before which was strange because we had once kissed.
His body went stiff again, his arms locking themselves around me and I realised I had turned my head and given him a kiss on his cheek. The closeness of our bodies allowed for me to smell him, his usual scent of the trees running through me and I had to bit my bottom lip to stop myself sighing at the nicety of the smell. I pulled back as much as his arms would let me, my cheeks were flushing with embarrassment. I hadn't necessarily meant to hug him let alone kiss his cheek. It was a friendly gesture but the crush I held wasn't and I kept pulling back until his locked arms loosened and I was able to reach around him to grab the paper bag.
"I saved these for you" I offered it to him, the bag scrunched against his chest due to our closeness and he quickly let me go before taking the bag and peering in. I walked back as far as I could until my body hit the kitchen breakfast bar and I gripped the counter for support. My whole body was going weak, his touch was sending me into a flurry of tingles and I was sure I was beetroot red. He started grinning as he looked at the items that filled the bag.
"I didn't know that you liked them but Emily said you did, she said you could eat them all day long and if my shorts are getting tight on me now then I probably shouldn't eat anymore. The dress Emily picked for graduation definitely won't fit"
"Thank you" He cut across as I rambled nervously and I let out a breath, I had to stop being so nervous around him. He placed the bag full of peanut buttercup pieces back onto the counter and glanced around the kitchen, the air was full of a tense silence, neither of us saying a word.
I caught the time on the oven and realised I had been here for half an hour, he probably had things to do.
"I should go, you probably have work today or plans, or sleep to catch up on"
I pushed myself up from the counter and went to walk out, my hand skimming the soft counters as I went. It was a lovely house; it was so homely and full of a motherly touch that made it warm and inviting. I was surprised Paul kept it as clean as he did, Sam had his own house and was engaged with a baby on the way but he couldn't even pick his dirty boxers off the bathroom floor after he showered.
"I don't" Paul's voice made me stop as I reached the hallway and I turned back to him, my eyebrows raised as I waited for him to explain. "I don't have work today, they didn't need me or plans or anything else"
"Oh" I nodded, my teeth still grazing my bottom lip from nervous habit. What was I supposed to say to that? Oh great have a nice day? It was awkward if I just left.
"What do you do?" Was the first thing that sprung to mind and Paul gave a shrug, his eyes still trained on my lips making me feel somewhat self conscious.
"This and that"
"Sounds intriguing, I can tell it's a job your passionate about"
Paul let up a little laugh as I rolled my eyes at him; he had never said what he did. Sam worked on cars, there was a garage on the res owned by some old man who was on his last legs and so as far as I knew Sam and Jared were both working there to build up funds so they could buy it off his son when he died although Jacob seemed to be eyeing it up too because he was obsessed with cars.
"I uhh work at a warehouse in Forks, nothing special I just do maintenance on the machines and trucks before they go for deliveries, my uncle Jeff knew the owner and got me a job before he died. It's not really contracted or anything so I just go when they need me"
I nodded and he shrugged again, clearly not happy with the situation.
"I mean it's either work in a warehouse, fix cars all day long or work in a store. Sam and Jared have the only car jobs going and I don't think I'm suited for a hiking and biking shop, my customer service skills aren't all that great" He tried joking and I offered him a smile, he looked so unhappy.
"It's a job though and it's not like you'll be stuck there forever"
He frowned at me, leaning against the kitchen door. "I can't see me doing anything else around here"
"No maybe not around here but maybe one day you will take the leap and go be a rocket scientist like you want to, there is more out there than this place and these people. Without sounding rude of course, if you aren't happy with what you have then go and do what will make you happy. Being a wolf doesn't bind you here, Embry said he was looking at going to college next year so why can't you?" I walked backwards and leant against the living room door copying Paul's position and he went rigid, shrugging awkwardly before looking me up and down.
"It's not just the wolf thing that keeps me here; I have other people to think of"
"Your dad?"
"Yes, and other things" He looked at me again, focusing only on my eyes and I shifted under his stare. "Anyway, I thought I told you not to call me a rocket scientist, Miss Prima Ballerina?" His body language changed instantly, almost forced as he launched himself upright with his usual grin hanging lazily on his handsome face.
"Mmm you did, but it made you smile so" I shrugged as I spoke and he smiled some more. "All I'm saying is you don't have to settle for something you don't want, you should go to college"
"And what about you?"
"What about me?" I questioned with a frown.
"If you are so insistent that I should go to college and do what I want to do, why don't you do the same?" He fell back against the door frame, folding his arms across his chest as he watched me. My stomach flipped uncomfortably and I felt sick, I had tried not to think about Julliard since the bomb dropped about Kerry, I guess I couldn't avoid everything.
"That's different. I stopped dancing; no school will take me when I haven't danced since October last year"
"Then start again" Paul threw back instantly and before I could argue he carried on. "I saw you dancing on Sunday, even if Seth was doing a half assed job at it you looked happy, surely it's like riding a bike? Once you learn you can't forget? At least that's what it's like with my guitar, I can go months without playing but the minute I pick it up I know what to do"
"Ok, fair point but I lost my chance at my dream school, what if I apply somewhere else and it's not what I want? Maybe I want the best and Julliard is the best"
"Even if they make you not eat cupcakes?" He raised an eyebrow, he was playing around now.
"No, Julliard never told me I couldn't eat cupcakes, one of the dance teachers who happen to do guest classes at my old dance school told me to stop eating cupcakes. Apparently I'm a little tubby, but that is not the point, I don't stand a chance at getting in there now, Kerry took the place that was offered to one dancer from our dance school, without that connection I have no chance" I huffed as I spoke, the reality of it was that I was screwed. "My dance school were given one place and we all battled it out for that place, I was in the running, Veneta basically told me it was mine as long as I did good at the actual audition but then everything fell through. My life got screwed up and now I have no hope, even if I applied I have hundreds if not thousands of other amazing dancers to go against, I'm not good enough to beat them" I sulked out loud again, my voice going so low I sounded like an upset child.
"Ok Debbie downer, you're a hormonal teenager, you annoy your brother, you suck at dance and you're tubby, anything else you want to moan about today?" Paul was laughing as he spoke and I looked at him, even his jokiness couldn't make me smile. He realised this and his laughs calmed, his body going stiffer as he readied to talk seriously.
"You aren't fat Savannah, you are tiny" He made a little small gap with his fingers and his eyes ran over my body again making me flush in embarrassment like I always did when he eyed me up, he made me feel naked but not in a bad way, it just made me blush.
"I'm short yes but I eat a lot, even Seth fell over lifting me up" I argued back and Paul let out a long groan and pushed himself away from the door frame.
"Seth is a weak little cub, he couldn't pick up a pillow without straining" He grinned as he walked for me, my whole body tensed up and my breath got caught in my throat as he got closer to me.
His hand reached for my hands that were slowly jabbing at the flesh of my stomach and he pulled me close to him but far away enough that our bodies weren't touching. I didn't have the safety of the door frame holding me up though and I nearly fell into him thanks to my numb knees.
"You aren't tubby, you aren't short or round, well you are pretty short but you aren't round you have a" He stopped, his hands gripped mine tighter and his head moved enough so he could see all of me, the blush I as fighting to keep in came out and I had to grip his hands back to stop myself swooning to the ground. He shouldn't be allowed to be as good looking as he was. "You're perfect" He choked out and his Adams apple bobbed up and down as he gulped desperately. Perfect, I wasn't perfect. Far from it but I took the compliment mainly because I wasn't able to reply, nothing in me was working properly.
We stayed stood there for what felt like hours, minutes ticked by as we just stared somewhat awkwardly at one another. I couldn't say anything back, not even thank you or you to, I was just silently still as I held his hands at my side and the house creaked around us.
"You are good enough Savannah, you are a good enough dancer" He finally croaked out as the clock behind us chimed.
"Thank you" I whispered through my dry mouth, gulping at anything I could to stop the dry pain in my throat. This was different for us; we were closer than usual, talking nicer than usual. It was strange, sort of.
"You can stay"
It took me a second to build a reply but Paul's posture changed and the atmosphere lightened between us. I gave a little smile at him not letting go of his hands.
"Thanks, I was beginning to like La Push"
His low chuckle sounded and he shook his head, rolling it so he could see the ceiling before looking back down at me. "I meant here, you can stay here for a bit if you want instead of going straight home. I would hate for Sam to get annoyed over his spanner again"
"I'm safe from Sam today, he has work but thank you, if you don't mind I would like to" My voice trailed off, my throat going dry again and I waited on hitched breath for him to nod.
"But I'm not going for a walk or to the beach or singing you songs, I got off patrol at seven and some annoying little tubby girl woke me up at eight thirty" Paul walked back, one of his hands let mine go but the other stayed looped in mine, his fingers playing with mine.
Every organ in me was dropping and flying again, swooshing around me as I watched him smile easily.
"She can be so annoying; she's probably going to make you watch girly films and eat all your candy as well while calling you a rocket scientist and taking all of the sofa up with her tubby ass" The playfulness took me by surprise, I was never this way with him but it felt somewhat natural and he started smirking at me as he walked to the living room.
"Annoying hormonal teenager" He chirped back jokingly, his fingers slowly letting mine go as I threw myself down on the sofa and watched as he went to the DVD rack. I guess we were friends again, or whatever we were.
"No, don't go in there" I squeaked and hid my face against my knees, the music filling the room paused for a second before a dramatic scream and gargling of blood filling the girls throat took over. "I said not to go in there" I called out still burying my face in my knees that were curled against my body on Paul's sofa.
"You can look, there's no blood" Paul chuckled slightly and his elbow nudged against my arm. Slowly I peered up, my eyes falling on the screen right as the camera panned in on a dead body, blood splattered everywhere. My stomach gave a horrible jolt and I threw my face back down against my knees as Paul started laughing, obviously amused with himself.
"Stop doing that, asshole" I hit out at him and missed, the sofa started shaking as he laughed.
"Hey you said I wasn't an asshole, I knew it was all lies. You were buttering me up so I would share my candy"
I rolled my head to the side and looked at him, he was smirking from his own curled up position on the sofa and I flipped him off. I should never have let him choose the second movie. He let me have a chick flick on at first, I chose the Princess Diaries which he insisted was his sisters but he seemed to know the storyline pretty well once we started watching it. But then when that one ended he wanted to choose a film and after begging him not to put something stupidly long and confusing like Lord of the Rings, he picked a film called Sorority Row which I thought looked like a girls film. It isn't.
"You cannot be scared? This is probably one of the worst films ever made; you cannot honestly be scared right now?"
"Yes I can. It's the music and the dun dun dun moments and the blood and guts. Holy crap she's gonna get killed now, this is ridiculous. Why don't they all just go to a public place and sit there forever" I looked up as the music started again and yet another sorority chick was being stalked ready to be killed. "People in these movies have no brain what so ever, oh shit he's behind the curtain"
I buried myself and the music grew louder, the silence came and then nothing.
"Why has it stopped?" I whispered but got no reply, I opened my eyes and peered to Paul's side of the sofa where he was just sat watching me with a semi amused expression. "Why did you stop it?"
"Because there is no point watching it, you are giving a running commentary and I can't hear a word they are saying"
"Sorry, I'll stop" I promised and sat upright training my eyes on the screen and clamping my mouth shut.
"No you won't, you talked the whole way through your film too"
"No I did not"
"Yes you did, you told me what happened before it even happened. I'm never watching a movie with you again, ever" He started shaking his head. I could tell that even though he meant what he was saying he wasn't actually pissed at me for it.
"That isn't fair, what if something comes out at the movies and I have no other friends to go watch it with?"
"Take Kim"
"What if she's busy with Jared?"
"Embry or Quil"
"They annoy me too much"
"Brad" Paul glanced at me, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at me. Poor Brad, I had a soft spot for the kid, he tried.
"He would actually come with me; he would just annoy me with stupid chat up lines though"
"He still tries?" Paul didn't look as amused as he had done and when I nodded he rolled his eyes, shaking his head while he mumbled about stupid horny teenagers.
"He tries bless him, the other day he asked if my legs were tired and when I said why he said"
"Because you've been running through my mind all day" Paul finished the line with such grumpiness I laughed. "The kids a loser"
"Yeah but he's sweet most of the time, he still thinks I'm dating Embry"
"And he still tries even though he thinks you're taken?" Paul raised both eyebrows and I shrugged.
"Nope, Quil told him Embry was planning on breaking up with me and I would need a shoulder to cry on when he did, he just wants to be that shoulder"
"Maybe you should let him take you out" Paul's voice dripped with sarcasm and I nodded at him.
"Maybe I should" I would never go out with Brad, never. He was the single most annoying kid I had ever met.
"Really?" Paul turned on me, surprise filling his expression and voice as he looked across the sofa to where I was sat.
"Mmm I just love the way he squints and pouts all sexily" I joked but Paul seemed to miss that I was joking, his frowned at me now. "I'm joking; definitely not my type and I would definitely end up crawling through the bathroom window before our meal even arrived. Chill out, you get so twitchy sometimes. I think you're worse than Sam when I told him I was planning on getting a facial tattoo"
"A facial tattoo?" Paul barked out and I smiled settling back against the sofa, point proven. He gets so twitchy about things. Paul realised I was messing with him and gave a sarcastic laugh before settling back. "You're so funny, honestly sometimes it hurts to be around you. I do not get twitchy I just, I just, I don't like that kid"
"You've never met him but ok" I shrugged and he copied it, he was obviously saying no more on the discussion and we sat in silence as the frozen screen stared at us with a screaming girl on it. "So what do we do if you won't watch movies with me?"
"You don't have to get back? Won't Emily be worried?"
"No, well, I was supposed to internet shop with her today for a crib but I mean I don't even like kids so why do I care what they sleep in" I said with as much enthusiasm as I could master but it wasn't much. I honestly wasn't bothered, she kept trying to include me in things but I honestly didn't care about bed linen or which brand of diapers. They didn't even have a room to put the kid in because I lived there.
"You hate kids? It would be your niece or nephew"
"I know, I mean I would love it obviously or at least grow to but I'm not really a kid person. I would be an awful parent, its best if I stick to babies I can give back when they annoy me"
"You wouldn't be an awful parent"
I glanced at him a little surprised by his comment. He was twiddling his fingers around in his lap, his eyes darted to me and he blushed as he saw me watching him.
"I mean, I don't think you would. Your patient and stuff"
"Patient and stuff?"
"That sounds stupid; I mean it would be different with your own. At least that's what people tell me, I'm not into kids but I would like a family one day" He sounded cute as he spoke, his voice was smaller than it usually was and a part of me melted at his words. He wanted kids, I didn't see him as the type to want that but it was sweet that he did.
"I don't know, my mom wanted a family and she ended up alone with a screaming kid at nineteen. The idea of little people depending on me freaks me out, I watched my mom struggle and I don't want to do that" He nodded as I spoke, his lips pursed together tightly. I guess we were different, Jared said we had so much in common but I didn't see it other than the candy. He went silent and I copied the silence, there was nothing else to say. The conversation didn't lead to anything and so I sat there biting at my nails thinking of something to ask.
"Did you want some lunch?" Paul finally asked and my eyes glanced at the little clock on the fireplace wall, it was just around lunch time. Food would be good, so far this morning all I had eaten was Reece's pieces. I gave a little nod and followed as Paul stood up to go to the kitchen. "I can make a sandwich or toast, I only have cheese though, I ate the ham for my dinner" Paul started rooting around in the fridge and I saw that apart from a case of beer, some cheese, milk and butter he had nothing in there. It was a lovely house but it seemed so empty, there was nothing here except Paul's things, Paul's shoes in the hall, Paul's jacket on the coat hanger, one cereal box, a few packs of half eaten chips and an old loaf of bread. It really was just him; I don't think he fed himself properly. Nobody could live off sandwiches.
My chest tightened as I watched him set about making the food, he rifled through the nearly bare cupboards for a plate and he started buttering the bread. I didn't like the thought of him alone all the time, him just sat eating a ham sandwich whilst watching a scary film. It wasn't a nice thought.
"At the beach" I started as my brain began clawing for something to say that would stop me feeling so sad for him. He turned his head to listen and I carried on, swinging from the counter as I talked. "You were saying something to me before Kyle and Kerry came down, what was it?" I wasn't sure where the question came from but I asked and suddenly my curiosity spiked. I watched as he stiffened mid swipe of the knife and his mouth fell open slightly.
"Oh, that. Umm it was nothing really it was just about my dad, seeing him"
I hadn't seen his dad, I was supposed to but I hadn't.
"Can you take me to see him soon?" I said with guilt riddling my voice, I was supposed to see him as our usual routine on Saturday and Sunday but I had abandoned him this weekend. I was such a cow. Paul nodded and began cutting the cheese; he was peering at me slightly.
"There was something else" He started and his body turned, he too began swinning back and forth against the counter and he nibbled his bottom lip like I did when I was nervous. "I was wondering whether after we saw him or any other night maybe whether you would like to" He paused, his eyes looking at the window that looked out over the street and he let out a long sigh. "Shit"
"Paul I need a word" A voice boomed against the silent house and I span around at it, Sam. His body flew in and around the kitchen door.
"None of you ever knock" Paul snapped from behind me but Sam paid no attention he just stared down at me with complete confusion evident on his face.
"Why are you here?"
"Why are you here?" Paul spoke louder copying Sam's words and Sam looked from me to Paul and then to the sandwiches he was making. He was obviously assessing the situation.
"I uhh I wanted to talk to you about something but I think it's sorted now, are you ok?" He looked back to me and I nodded, shooting him my best smile to prove it and he gave a small one back. "Oh, uhh ok then, I guess I don't really need a word anymore" He looked back to Paul and I was completely confused.
"If it's pack business I can go outside" I pointed to the door and went to move but Sam shook his head stopping me.
"No, no it's obviously fine. Are you not supposed to be doing baby shopping with Emily?"
"Yes but then I figured she's only four months so we have plenty of time besides you're the daddy you should be doing it" I thumped his arm and he pushed mine back before shaking his head, he always got out of baby things.
"I have to pay for it therefore I am not spending hours looking at it, I can look at it when my bank statement comes through. Why are you here?"
"I needed to talk to Paul. Shouldn't you be at work?" We were shooting the questions at each other; Sam narrowed his eyes at me before groaning. He hated working, he liked his work but he hated going to work. In the pack he was the alpha, at work he was the bitch boy he did what the old man said and he hated it.
"I'm on my lunch, quit with the questions and go shop with Emily, she really likes it when you help her out" He was glancing at me and Paul again, his eyes narrowing each time they met Pauls and I realised he wasn't simply asking me he was telling me to go home. I turned just in time to see Paul mutter what seemed like 'F you' to Sam but he straightened up as I turned and he gave me a stiff smile.
"I should go, thanks" I waved at the unmade sandwich and he nodded.
"Do you want a lift?"
"She can walk" Sam bit before Paul go fully get his words out and I jumped at the sudden shout from behind me. Sam was obviously still needing that talk with Paul. "You can walk, she can walk, she's fine" Sam added in more calmly and I nodded.
"I can walk obviously, burn off some tub" I said trying to joke and Paul gave a shadow of a smile, I wasn't getting much more though and so I walked from the kitchen and to the living room to get my shoes and phone. On the little table lay one piece of candy, the last piece. It was technically Paul's but I couldn't resist and so I grabbed it and ate it. Walking into the hallway I could hear their muttered voices, a few words were audible and I took extra long putting my old dirty blue converse on.
"Sorted then?" Sam's voice reached me first.
"I- didn't- anything" Paul's broken words made little sense and I craned harder to hear.
"Well I doubt she did, she's a kid" Sam bit back, I heard most of his words and I took a guess that it was me they were on about.
"Ok fine, it's always me. Big bad wolf out to hurt little girls, screw you Sam"
"I'm not fighting with you again Paul so don't start"
"It's not me starting it, it's sorted so you can go back to work and get your head out of my business"
"It's my business too when it involves my"
"She's outside the door" Paul cut across the bickering and silence filled the kitchen. I jumped back just as the kitchen door swung open and I leant over pretending to tie my shoe lace.
"Ok?" Sam asked with a fake smile and I returned it nodding at him. I didn't know what they were talking about but Sam sounded so asshole-ish to Paul. He was supposed to be his best friend yet he was talking to him like he was dirt under his shoe. "I'll take you home on my way back to work"
"I can walk" I shook my head at him, my tone of voice going slightly sour. He could be equally as moody as Paul could be, his moods changed just as drastically.
"Fine, see you later then I guess" He turned to look at Paul and received a glare back. It was so obvious they had fallen out, it had gone on for months but I didn't know what had happened. Sam gave another smile to me before leaving, slamming the door shut behind him as he went.
"I'll be going"
"Sure you don't want any lunch?" Paul pointed to the hald made sandwiches and I shook my head, I did want to stay but Sam was right, Emily was expecting me to help her and if Sam found out later that I had stayed out when he told me to go home then the disappointed silence he would give me over dinner would be unbearable.
"I shouldn't stand Emily up, she's hormonal enough without me adding to it" I walked toward the front door, Sam's truck was gone by the time I opened it and stepped outside and Paul was close behind me. "Why have you and my brother fallen out?" I turned back to him and asked, his face was squinted due to the sun shining down on him but he still looked handsome.
"We haven't" He lied and I rolled my head to the side.
"Ok you both say that when I ask but I've seen you two practically squaring up to each other and then he always shouts at you and you always storm out of the house ready to knock someone out. It doesn't look like two best friends to me"
He gave a awkward smile as he nodded, his eyes looking at the street behind me before he looked back at me. "Ok maybe we have had a slight falling out, but you don't need to worry. We always fall out and get over it"
"What happened though? It's been like it for months and it's not getting better"
"Nothing happened really he's just being, he's just, he's, I'm, it's my fault. He's looking out for someone he cares a lot for. It'll be fine eventually, everything will work out" He didn't look so sure, I didn't feel sure. I didn't understand what he was saying or who this person was but Paul didn't look convinced at his own words.
"Ok well I hope it does, I don't like it when people argue"
"Lover not a fighter?" He asked jokingly and I nodded.
"Something like that" I said with a small smile and turned to leave, he called out again stopping me and I lingered on the concrete step that was starting to sprout grass in the corner.
"Savannah, I was wondering whether if you came to see my dad with me this weekend, whether after we saw him if you wanted to, I mean you don't have to but I was wondering whether if you did want to" He stopped, his words were making little sense and the more he talked the more his hands moved and the redder his cheeks grew. He was getting flustered.
"I just, do you, would you, maybe we could get some dinner after?" He rushed out the words all in one sentence and it took me a second to hear what he said properly. Dinner, he asked me to dinner. My stomach started somersaulting and my skin ran a series of shivers and I was sure I was smiling like a complete idiot.
"Yes, that would be nice" I said with a slight stutter and Paul mirrored my smile, his nervous body posture dropped and he gave a lazy wave to me as I continued to back out of his lawn. "Bye, see you later"
"Bye" He called out and I turned to rush down the street and onto the main road, then I ran. We were friends again and going for dinner. I kept running until I hit the yard of the house I now thought of as home and I rushed in through the front doors. Emily was kneeling over my laptop jabbering at the keys with frustration and I danced over to her, still smiling like an ass.
"I trust your meeting with Paul went well Miss Uley?" She rose an eyebrow at me as she glanced up, my feet tapped against the floorboards and I nodded then paused, how did she know? "I hoped that you had gone to his or out with Kim when I found your room empty at eight am this morning. Plus, Sam rang to tell me he had told you to come home ASAP. That man is such a killjoy, so everything between you sorted?"
I nodded again and she pursed her lips in amusement as I grinned even wider. "We are friends again, and we watched some movies and umm he uhh asked me to go for dinner with him when we go see his dad at the weekend"
"A date?" She practically screamed at me and clung to the chair she was leaning over.
"Well I don't think so, maybe just as friends, he doesn't like me like that"
"Sure and the sky isn't blue" She rolled her eyes, her comment made me pause for a second and she saw my confused look. "I don't know how he feels honey but you too are obviously closer than I realised if a simple misunderstanding like the weekend made you both act like sulking pre-teens and him asking you to go to dinner has made you become a jittery wreck. I'm just saying you may be friends but there's something else"
"You sound like Jared, whatever" I waved her off but internally I was going insane. I hated not knowing where I actually stood with people, maybe I would find out at dinner. Maybe he would declare that I was his best friend or maybe he just saw me like a little sister, Jared always called me his lil sis because of the connection between the pack guys, I was Sam's sister meaning I was like a pack sister. I don't know, either way it was confusing.
"Don't whatever me, come help me I can't work your computer and I want to look at this cot mobile, it has wolves on it, how cute is that?" Emily spun my laptop to me and I sat down at the kitchen table trying to contain my smile. Yesterday I had felt like shit and had no idea what the hell was going on, today I still have no idea but I feel amazing.
Today is a good day; today I don't mind looking at baby things.