CHAPTER 6

It was a rainy morning and Natasha was driving her black Corvette with Steve in the passenger's seat. She was going really fast, despite the rain that was pouring down, and was silently looking at the road ahead. She was in deep thought about the recent events in her life since they left the Avengers Facility.

Steve was used to having Natasha driving like a manic, even when it wasn´t an emergency, so he didn´t say anything about that, but he felt like he should say something to break the uncomfortable silence between them. So he glanced at Natasha a few times, but whenever he did that, she seemed to be so concentrated on the road that he just looked back out the window and watched the trees passing by, remaining silent too as his mind raced with questions.

When they arrived at the city, Natasha slowed down a bit. She stopped at a red light. Still looking forward, she finally spoke: "Steve, before we get there and you try to mark your territory, there is something…"

"Wow! Wait! That´s not why I´m here!" Steve interrupted Natasha, a blush appearing on his face as he looked at her.

Natasha looked at him with a smirk on her face: "Oh, come on Steve! You´re not fooling anyone."

Steve scratched the back of his head nervously because he knew the spy was right and that she could see right through his act. He blushed even more as he replied: "Yeah…hum…okay, but when you say it like that it sounds…bad."

"Well, it´s bad! We´ve only spent a night together! So before you do anything stupid, I need to tell you something." Natasha looked forward again and started driving as the light turned green.

Steve, still feeling uncomfortable by the situation, tried to explain himself: "I didn´t mean to…sleep with you on our first date but…we´ve know each other for a long time and…I´ve wanted this to happen for so long…and last night was so amazing…it just got out of my control." Steve shook his head thinking how bad he was at this sort of thing and looked forward too with a frown on his face, trying to gather his thoughts and trying to find words that made more sense. He was so confused because he was so inexperienced with dates and relationships, especially on this century.

Natasha glanced at Steve and smiled a little with the look on the old fashioned soldier´s face. She just loved when he looked vulnerable, because that was the true Steve Rogers, that was the one side that everybody else didn´t see in him when he was in his Captain America uniform. But he was starting to sound like he felt guilty for sleeping with her, and she didn´t want him to feel that way, so she parked the car for a moment and looked at him, saying softly: "Steve…I don´t care about that. In fact, I agree with you, last night was amazing…but that´s not what´s bothering me."

Steve looked at her with curiosity in his eyes.

Natasha continued: "I´ve had feeling for you for a long time too…" she looked down and took a deep breath as she gather the strength to continue. "…but I´ve never told you this before because I wanted you to be happy." She looked back at him, meeting his blue eyes as he stared at her with a confused expression on his face again. He opened his mouth to say something but got cut off by Natasha as she continued in a firm tone: "You´re a good person Steve, you deserve to live a full life with a nice wife, a house on the suburbs, kids…I can´t ever give you that." Natasha eyes were sparkling with unshed tears as she gave him a sad smile.

Steve was really confused, not really sure where Natasha was going with this conversation: "Natasha, I thought we´re going to take it slow…why are you saying those things now?"

Natasha looked seriously at him: "Because I know you Steve. I know that once you´re committed to me you´ll plan for that sort of thing. And that´s not fair to you, because I´m not right for you and… I can´t have kids…" She said the last part in a low voice, Steve almost missed it.

Natasha took a deep breath, and looked away for a moment, trying not to break down in front of Steve as he kept looking at her, wondering if he had heard her right, until she met his eyes again and continued in a shaky voice: "When I was in the Red Room, I was trained to be a merciless assassin, no room for mistakes or emotions. We fight each other to the death and when I was the last one standing, they took me to the graduation ceremony, which at the time I thought was going to be some kind of reward for enduring all the mental and physical tortures…for being the only one that survived…" Natasha gave a sad smile and a single tear managed to escape and run down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away and continued: "But they took me to my ballet school, made me kill my friend, the pianist that had played during our ballet lessons, the only person I cared about at that time…" She looked down and wiped a couple of tears that fell from her eyes again: "…and then they took me back and tied me down to a stretcher and they sterilized me…just to make sure that I would never have anything holding me back, to make it easier to kill without any hesitation. I was just a hollow shell, a shadow, a ghost…" She looked back up at Steve with a sad face: "That´s the kind of monster they made me into, and that´s not the kind of woman you deserve to have in your life."

Steve was listening intently to her every word and he felt bad for her, he knew that her training in the Red Room was tough, but hearing her tell him about it and seeing how much it still affected her, made his heart break. Steve reached for her hand and squeezed it: "Natasha, I´m sorry..."

Natasha took her hand away from his abruptly: "Please, stop…" she blinked her tears away as she looked forward, put her hands on the steering wheel and started to drive again: "Don´t say anything now, just let it sink in and we can talk later…please. This subject always makes me lose my composure as you can see." She took a deep breath to control the trembling in her voice and kept her eyes on the road: "And I don´t want to meet Tony and Bruce with red eyes. So since you insisted in being there, I just wanted to give you a warning before you do something stupid like announcing any sort of relationship with me."

Steve frowned in frustration because he wanted to comfort her and say that he didn´t care about those things, about her dark past, because that was not the person she was anymore. But to respect her wishes, and not make this situation harder, he just remained silent the rest of the way to the Avengers Tower.

Tony Stark was on the Avengers Tower common room, sitting lazily on the sofa working on his tablet, when FRIDAY announced that his guests had arrived. He immediately stood up and turned to the elevator, frowning in confusion by the word guests because he thought that Natasha was the only one coming, but before he could ask FRIDAY about it, the elevator´s doors opened and Natasha got out followed by Steve.

He greeted happily: "Hello! Little Red…and Capsicle?" He left his tablet on the coffee table and went to shake hands with Steve: "Captain, I didn´t know you were joining us!"

Steve shook Tony´s hand and replied: "Hi Stark. It was a last minute decision."

Tony looked perplexed at Natasha and she answered his unspoken question: "When I told him that you found Bruce, he said that he wanted to see how he was doing…" She quickly glanced at Steve, hoping he wouldn´t give it all away with his awkward look.

Steve cleared his throat to adjust his dry throat, he hated lying. He asked: "How is he doing, by the way…where is he?" He noticed that they were the only ones in the room at the moment.

Tony replied: "He is doing okay I guess… he´s at the lab, he has spent a lot of his time there since he came back. He said he has a lot of catching up to do since he was stranded on a desert island...sort of." Tony smirks and continues: "And I´m totally up for that, I mean, it´s always good to have a new set of eyes helping on my techs."

Steve chuckled at that: "It sure is. I feel kind of safer knowing that Dr. Banner is overseeing your work, actually."

Tony looked hurt at Steve for moment: "Oh, so just because I accidentally made a killer A.I. that tried to destroy mankind, I´m ruined for life?"

Natasha crossed her arms over her chest and added seriously: "Yeah Stark, deal with it."

Tony glared at Natasha and then back at Steve who just shrugged his shoulders. Tony said with sarcasm: "Geez…I get it why you guys are never invited to the parties…" he pointed to Natasha: "…you´re mean and you…" he pointed at Steve: "are just too…honest. Just for future reference, I helped save the world…twice! And FYI, Bruce was there when WE created Ultron." He started to make his way to the open concept kitchen: "But let´s not get into that discussion." He took a plate of freshly made pancakes and asked as he sat on a stool by the kitchen island: "Have you guys had breakfast yet?

Steve was obviously very hungry because of his high metabolism and immediately answered: "No we haven´t."

Tony continued with a full mouth: "Good! Because I hired this cook and she does amazing pancakes, you wanna try?"

Steve made his way to join Tony on the kitchen island saying: "Don´t mind if I do." He grabbed a plate and a put a couples of pancakes on it.

Natasha stood in her spot: "I´m going to see Bruce in the lab."

Steve looked up from his plate, a sting of jealousy hitting his gut. He met Natasha´s eyes and when he was finished chewing, he said: "Now? Don´t you wanna eat something first?"

Natasha simply replied: "I´m not hungry" and turned around making her way to the elevator. She just wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

Steve stopped eating and just watched as the elevator´s doors closed with Natasha inside. He was wondering what sort of conversation Natasha and Bruce would have, he was nervous just to think about that, so he unintended took a deep breath.

Tony noticed that and asked right before putting another piece of pancake in his mouth: "What´s wrong Cap?"

Steve was startled by Tony´s question and tried to hide it, without much success: "Huh…oh…nothing." He went back to his pancake as Tony just eyed him suspiciously.

"Nothing? You came all this way to see Bruce and still you´re here with me, eating…" Tony took another bite of his food.

Steve said between bites: "Natasha has private business with Banner, I don't want to interfere…I can talk to him later."

"And Natasha´s private business with Bruce seems to bother you…" Tony stood up and went to the fridge to get orange juice. He offered it to Steve: "Juice?"

Steve looked at him and said: "Yes."

Tony grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and said playfully: "Yes it bothers you or yes you want juice?"

Steve couldn´t help the blush that appeared on his face, he tried to sound casual: "Yes I want juice, please."

Tony definitely noticed Steve´s red face. He poured the juice in the glasses and made his way back to the island with a smirk on his face. He set the glasses down and asked looking at Steve: "So, you came here to watch Natasha´s back? What? Are you two BFF now? I mean, why would she inform you that she was coming here to see Bruce if it was private?"

Steve tried not to choke on his pancakes. He was definitely bad at this sort of thing and now he was stuck with the genius, Tony Stark, and all his inconvenient questions. He was having seconds thought about coming here with Natasha.

Tony took a sip from his juice and looked at Steve with eager eyes, waiting for his answer.

Steve just kept looking down at his plate and kept his mouth busy, full of pancakes, trying to gain some time to think how to get away from this mess, but his mind was blank. He just thought: "I really suck at this! Damn it!"

So when he had no more pancakes to eat, he finally looked at Tony: "What do you want me to say, Stark?"

Tony raised his eyebrows: "Huh, I don´t know, the truth?"

Steve let go of his fork and exhaled in frustration: "Fine. The truth is that I'm jealous! There! Are you happy?"

Tony looked surprised for a moment and then replied: "Not quite, no…it still doesn´t explain why she told you she was coming here…I called her really early, like 6:00 in the morning. Did she woke you up on your day off to tell you this? Or maybe you two were together when she got the call, like in the same bedroom…" Tony raised an eyebrow as a smirk appeared on his face.

Steve silent cursed Tony for being so smart. Steve was a morning person, so maybe he could make an excuse for being up that early, so he said: "I was coming back from my morning run and met her when she was on her way out." Steve took the glass of juice to drink it, looking away from Tony for a moment, hoping he would buy that and leave him alone.

Tony narrowed his eyes and said: "You know, for someone who spends a lot of time with the spy, you should´ve learned to lie better, Cap. But I guess you´re just too honest, like I said before." Tony took a sip from his juice again and continued: "Good luck is all that I can say, I have no idea who the spy is gonna choose, you or Bruce. Tough call…if Clint was here I would probably make a bet on Bruce." Tony said the last part just to get on Steve´s nerves and it worked because he choked on his juice, spilling some on his white t-shirt.

Tony offered him a napkin: "Easy there Cap!"

Steve took the napkin from Tony´s hand harshly and started to clean his face and shirt.

Tony just watched how stressed Steve looked and added: "You really like her, don´t you? That´s cute!"

Steve looked at Tony with an annoyed expression on his face: "Yes, I do! Now will you just shut up and talk about something else before I punch you in the face!"

Tony raised his hands in surrender saying: "Okay! Sorry! Touchy subject, I get it!" He made his way to get his tablet on the coffee table: "Let me just show you the improvements I´m making for your shield then..." and came back to show Steve his new ideas for his shield.

Not the end yet! Sorry! But there´s another chapter coming out soon!