Chapter 7
Over the course of that week the two men got into a routine of sorts: late mornings lounging in bed, leisurely cooked breakfasts and brisk walks along the river, followed up with steaming mugs of tea and home baked cake consumed in front of a roaring log fire. After raving about the slice of bara brith he'd been given when he'd first gone up to the farmhouse, Megan had baked one just for Ianto and had dropped it off at the cottage with the milk the following morning. Jack kept asking him what the fruit cake was called in Welsh, not because he forgot, but because he loved hearing Ianto saying the name.
Early every evening, Jack checked in with Owen via a secure line and discussed Torchwood business before responding to the more pressing of emails awaiting his attention. Although he'd got used to working remotely and in isolation, he had missed having company; it made a huge difference dealing with demands from UNIT and government bureaucrats whilst Ianto was pottering about in the background, it was as if his presence alone was enough to keep a lid on Jack's temper.
Once the lap top was turned off for the night, they shared a supper of thick soup or a casserole eaten from deep earthenware bowls, with thick chunks of home baked bread, it was not only nourishing, but easier for Ianto to eat with just one hand. After the dishes were washed and left to dry, they would just curl up together on the sofa and watch the embers glowing in the fireplace, not going to bed until the fire had died down to the point that the room grew cooler.
It was a respite, a time for Ianto to heal from his injuries and for their relationship to re-establish itself following the fall out of Jack's unexpected announcement. Ianto teased Jack about 'glowing', but it was undeniably true, the acceptance of his condition by his lover was all Jack needed to acknowledge how genuinely thrilled he was to be pregnant with Ianto's child.
They probably talked more in those few days than they had in the whole time they'd known each other up until then. The crisp mountain air, babbling stream and soporific wood fires all seemed to encourage honest discussions and the lack of interruptions allowed them to listen to each other properly. Fears and hopes were expressed by each man, invoking both tears and laughter. Without Torchwood coming between them, they were able to communicate openly for what really did feel like the first time.
However, as is the case with all good things, the week passed by too quickly and Ianto was packing his bags ready to depart with Owen the following morning.
As he tucked unworn socks into the bag, he felt Jack press up against him from behind.
"I wish you didn't have to go back." Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist, wanting to hold onto him and not let go.
"I have to, you know I do. It's not fair on the others to try to run everything short handed."
Ianto turned around in Jack's embrace and hugged him close, albeit gingerly with his injured arm.
"You're still recuperating – you can't go out in the field!" protested Jack.
"I can take my turn monitoring the rift and getting the paperwork dealt with-"
"You could do that from here-"
"Not the same and you know it." Ianto sighed as he took in Jack's forlorn expression. "Hey, I wish I could stay here as well. And Owen said he'd be able to bring me back for visits so it won't be so bad-"
"I've got another three months to go. I'm not sure I can cope with just seeing you at weekends."
"Stop pouting – you're letting those hormones get the better of you, again."
"Can't help it – why don't you pack in the morning, you're wasting time that we could be spending in bed."
Jack pressed a series of kisses along Ianto's jaw, finishing with an almost chaste kiss on the lips.
"I thought you were insatiable before, but-"
"Hormones, can't help them – come on, indulge me."
"When don't I?" mumbled Ianto, as he let Jack take his hand and lead him back to the bed.
Despite Ianto's insistence on setting an early alarm on his phone, they were still in bed when Owen arrived the following day. He actually threw gravel at the bedroom window and yelled at them to get up.
"Oi – get your arse out of bed, tea boy and make me some coffee. Least you can do for me considering the shit I'm been having to take off Gwen all week."
Jack sighed and grabbed hold of Ianto, not wanting to let him out from under the covers, angry at Torchwood for taking over his life and that of everyone he knew and loved. It was then that an idea came to him. Whether it was hormonally induced or not, was besides the point, all he had to do was convince Ianto.
Owen needed to examine Jack so he took him down into the basement where he could use the ultrasound and other scanners. Although Ianto was no longer averse to being present, Owen wanted him out of the way; he needed to talk to Jack in private.
In the course of the week he'd spoken to both men at one time or another, and had picked up the hints from Ianto's talk of the farm being 'a great place to bring up a kid'. Meanwhile Jack had seemed almost giddy with delight at being able to live with Ianto and how he could imagine what it would be like to have a family with the young Welshman.
Owen wanted to know exactly what it was the two men had in mind, and whether they were actually thinking the same thing and the fact that Jack had asked to speak with him alone meant that something was amiss.
Despite wanting to make sure Jack was alright, Ianto was happy enough to make the most of one more chance to take a stroll down to the riverside. Even though he was born and bred in the valleys of South Wales, he felt at home in the uncompromising environment of the craggier hillsides of Snowdonia. It was far away enough from the rift that there were no aliens likely to be encountered, other than those relocated deliberately by Torchwood, and his feelings for the Brecon Beacons were to be forever tainted by his encounter with cannibalistic villagers.
He knew in his heart that this would be the best place for his child to grow up, and even if he never got to witness that process, he could imagine the boy in this landscape. Ianto smiled sadly as he thought of the kid learning how to help with the sheep and the llamas, collecting firewood and playing in the woods on the lower slopes. He swore to himself that his son would have a good childhood, a safe one where he was loved and cherished in a way he never really felt he had been until he met Jack.
"What's the problem, then?" Owen asked, as he switched off the ultra sound scanner, having recorded all the data he needed.
"Who said there was a problem?" asked Jack evasively.
"You asked to talk in private – normally you'd say or do anything in front of Ianto without batting an eyelid. Come on, spill – what's going on?"
"He wants Megan to adopt our son."
"What? Megan up at the farm?" Owen was surprised, but then understood what Ianto had been hinting at. Of course, that made sense, always the sensible one, Ianto. From his own dealings with Megan, he could see the merits of the idea; the woman was kind, nurturing and she knew about Torchwood.
"Yeah."
"That's a bloody great idea. She'd make a brilliant mum-"
"I know," interrupted Jack. "But, it's like he's writing himself off – writing us off, deciding that there's no way we could possibly bring the kid up ourselves."
"He's being pragmatic – you know what he's like. Not a bad thing."
"Yeah – he said Torchwood's not a safe place to bring up a child. He also thinks someone would come after the kid if they knew he was mine-"
"Also a valid point. You're not exactly flavour of the month with everyone we've ever dealt with."
"But why should he give up the chance of fatherhood because I've made enemies?"
"He's Torchwood – he knows it's not safe." Owen set down the scanner and sighed. "Look, Jack, he'd probably be pissed off with me if he knew I'd told you this, but on the way up here last weekend, he said he didn't think he could ever risk getting to know the kid. Said it wouldn't be fair on it, because there wasn't much chance of him being around for much more than another few years –"
"Oh, Ianto." Jack rubbed his face with his hands, despairing of the father of his child.
"Yeah – exactly. Come on, we all know the risks – Ianto more than most, having survived Canary Wharf."
"He could leave Torchwood."
"What?"
"If he wasn't working for Torchwood he'd be safe-"
"And just when were you going to discuss this with me?"
"Ianto!"
Both men looked around guiltily, not having heard Ianto come down the stairs. Neither knew how much he'd overheard before making his presence known.
"So, tell me, this plan of yours – you'd have me bringing up your child-"
"Our child!" Jack growled.
"So, you'd leave Torchwood as well?" Ianto asked, his eyebrows raised.
"I can't – you know I can't."
"Right then, so you'd kick me out of Torchwood and set me up somewhere to bring up the kid alone?"
"I-"
"No, Jack. You've no right to sack me because you got pregnant!"
"I'm not sacking you!"
"You're asking me to give up my job-"
"You could get a job when he goes to school. Hey, maybe you could run a little coffee shop-"
"What fantasy world are you living in Jack?"
"I..I.." Jack faltered as he wondered how to get out of the mess he'd got into.
"That does it! Jack, lie down and shut up – your blood pressure is about to go through the roof." Owen lowered the top of the examination table that he had Jack sitting on and gently pushed him down. "And as for you, Ianto, I asked you to keep out of the way!"
"So you two could discuss me behind my back?"
"So I could find out exactly what he had in mind before talking to you."
"But, we'd discussed this – Jack, I thought we'd agreed."
"Ianto, mate – two things, this is Jack you're talking about, he always changes his mind, and secondly he's pregnant, so even more irrational than normal. You shouldn't expect consistency."
"I am not irrational!" protested Jack, trying to get up from the makeshift bed, only to find two sets of hands pushing him back.
"You just suggested I become a single father, running a coffee shop – that's delusional, never mind irrational."
"I never once said anything about you doing that alone," sighed Jack. "I'd be around as well."
Ianto slumped as he sat down on the chair that Owen had abandoned.
"So he'd have two dads, is that what you're suggesting?" Owen asked as he kept an eye on the blood pressure monitor. "That a problem for you, Ianto?"
"No – of course not, it's just-"
"What is it, Ianto? Why don't you want this?" Jack pleaded.
"Oh Jack, I wish I could buy into your dream, but let's face the truth, our son's not going to grow up with two fathers. One's likely to die before he reaches the age of thirty and the other will always look as if he's only just reached forty … hardly normal and not exactly conducive to a healthy childhood and adolescence."
"Is that why you want him to stay here?"
"Yeah, partly."
"Owen, give us a moment to ourselves, please." Jack spoke to Owen, but kept his eyes firmly fixed on Ianto.
Owen shook his head solemnly and left the basement. He'd had a suspicion that this argument was brewing under the surface. Maybe he should have left Ianto in Cardiff and not let them get to this point. But it had to happen sooner or later and at least there were still another three months left to sort it out. He just hoped, for the sake of all three of them, that whatever decision was made, it wouldn't break them.