Hey y'all (that was weird, sorry)
Kay, so the song used is Yellow by Coldplay and I DO NOT own it or any of the characters in this Fanfiction
We slept together that night, not in the sexual way, for Matt was too weak to do anything like that right now. But we lay together, and we were just lying there, looking at each other, when Matt carefully reached over and ran his fingertips along my arm. I felt shivers go through me at his gentle touch, and I moved closer, closing my eyes. He trailed his fingers up until they were touching my face, and then trailed over my cheekbones and jaw line, just barely brushing. I felt his thumb stroke my bottom lip and his other hand joined in on the touching of Mello. His hand tangled in my hair while the other one made its way down my neck, tracing every tendon, every bone. He swept his fingers lightly over my collarbone while he stroked the back of my head, touching the nape of my neck in a tender way. With one hand cupping my neck and the other on the back of my head, he pulled me into a deep, loving kiss that lasted only for a few blissful minutes until he had to pull away to breathe.
"You're so beautiful." He whispered against my lips, giving me a small peck after.
"I love you, Mail." I felt him freeze, then melt into my body, pulling his arms around me and molding perfectly to me. I opened my eyes and found myself looking into his. He has such beautiful eyes. They're such a bright, clear, endless emerald green, and they're so easy to get lost in. I wrapped myself around him, curling us into a protected ball. I held him and listened to his uneven breathing, a symptom of his very low weight, no doubt, and I kissed his head, snuggling into his soft, fiery red locks.
"I love you too, Mihael." He murmured, burrowing his face into my chest. We slept like that, warming and being warmed by the other, breathing together, connecting like we used to. And for the first time in four years, I fell asleep and stayed sleeping.
Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah they were all yellow
When I woke up, I heard the water running in the bathroom and Matt singing. I'm the only one on the entire planet to know this and I'm proud of the fact, but Matt has the most beautiful singing voice ever. He has a low, gravelly voice that somehow manages to be clear and perfectly pitched at the same time. Disregard anything you know about the song Yellow and imagine it being sung a bit lower, with a really sexy rough voice singing it. There's Matt.
I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow
Despite the fact that I was still half asleep, I wandered into the bathroom, drawn by Matt's voice, and found the bathroom door open.
So then I took my turn
Oh what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow
He was in the shower, curtain closed, and with the acoustics in the bathroom, his voice carried beautifully. I could imagine him standing there, water running down his body, with his head tilted back as he sang. The thought did interesting things to my body. It had been a while since I felt like that.
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
You know you know I love you so
You know I love you so
I sat myself on the counter and just listened to him, closing my eyes, enjoying the way the water falling mixed with his vocals.
I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do
Cause you were all yellow
He laughed a bit during the last line, which made me smile, then shivers went down my spine as he sang the next line, his voice rippling perfectly.
I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow
I smiled as he continued. I had forgotten how much I loved this song.
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know
For you I'd bleed myself dry
For you I'd bleed myself dry
He swore softly, like he was in pain, but continued nonetheless.
It's true
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine
As he repeated that line, I moved closer to him, for he was getting quieter. He shut off the water and sang the last lines softy, like he was whispering them.
Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do
He sighed absently, and I left the bathroom before he noticed me. I got back into bed and waited for him. He came out after a few minutes, with a towel around his hips and another one in his hands, rubbing his hair dry.
"Good morning." I said. He jumped about seven feet in the air and fell on the ground, wrapping the towel around himself. I giggled and leaned over the side of the bed. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. How long have you been awake?" I smiled and got off the bed, sitting beside him on the floor.
"Long enough to hear your lovely song." He turned bright red and I kissed his lightly freckled nose. "Don't be embarrassed, you know I love your voice." I held the edges of the towel covering his torso and tugged a bit. "Why are you hiding?" I asked in a slightly eager voice. Matt drew the towel tighter around himself.
"I'm not in very good viewing condition right now, Mels." That old nickname made my heart skip a beat. I kissed him quickly just for calling me that.
"It's okay. I know how skinny you are right now, silly." He was shaking his head before I finished my sentence.
"I've done more bad things Melly." He curled into a ball like he used to, looking at me with shame in his eyes. Softly, slowly, I peeled his fingers off the towel and took the towel away from him. I gasped.
I wasn't sure what to be more shocked at.
Running across his stomach, down his sides and his hips were tons and tons of little cuts and long cuts, all pretty deep and harsh looking. Some had turned to scars already, and some looked like they were made yesterday. There were cuts on his arms, on his wrists, even on his hands, making it look like he shoved both arms through a window, or dragged them along sharp glass. But the cuts that got to me the most were the ones just over where his heart should be, cuts that spelled out two letters, my initials, M.K
But then there was the fact that I could easily count his ribs, even when he breathed in. His hipbones stuck out and his arms were so thin I could have snapped them in half. He turned his head away, and I looked over him, kneeling, and I could see every vertebrae of his spine, sticking out like small hills on his back. Sure, Matt had always been a skinny little bastard, but never like this.
"Matty…" I breathed. He looked over at me with his sad, heart-stopping eyes, and I pulled him to his feet carefully. I ran my fingers through his slightly wet hair to his face and held his face gently. "It's cold-" I took moment to make my voice go back to normal. I forced a smile and kissed him lightly. "Would you like to get dressed?" he nodded nervously. I gestured with my head to my bags. "I have some clothes you can borrow." I walked ahead of him to my suitcase and pulled out some clothes I had stolen from him, much to his surprise. His lips parted in that cute shocked way.
"You have some of my clothes?" he asked, looking at me with his wide green eyes. I shuffled a bit, weirdly shy.
"Yeah…" I held a striped shirt close to me with one hand, fingering a pair of baggy jeans with the other. He surprised me by pulling me into a hug. I guess he was trying to squeeze me, but his arms felt light around my waist.
"Thanks Mels." After he got dressed, he sat on the bed and watched me run around and pack my stuff, eating a chocolate bar. I stopped for a minute to watch him sway a bit, leaning against the wall.
"Are you okay?" I asked, reaching for him. I held him in my arms and forced him to look at me.
"Sure," he whispered, his eyes rolling back. "I'm just a bit hungry."
"You're hungry? You should eat! Here, have this." I let go of him and gave him a chocolate bar, then picked him up and placed him on our bed, sprinting across the room to order something from room service. He laughed shyly and I heard the satisfying crack of teeth biting into chocolate. Once our food arrived, I carried it to our bed so we could eat together. He ate slowly, rubbing his stomach every now and then. "Are you okay? Do you want more?" he looked up and smiled, shaking his head.
"Where do you live?" I was confused, but answered his question anyways.
"New York. I have an apartment." He pushed the plates of food out of the way and curled up to me, resting his head on my lap. "Why?" I asked while stroking his hair.
"Take me home, Melly. I just want to go home." My heart contracted and I bit my lip, caressing his head, neck and shoulders.
"Okay." I said. That's all I needed to say.
I think this is the longest chapter I have written so far. Hope you liked it!