"Thank you so much for spending Christmas with me here Phil. I love you and I will see you soon." I hug him good bye the day after Christmas and he promises to call to as soon as he gets home.
Soon after Sam arrives for my scheduled kidnapping. We talk about everything under the sun and what he says is an hour drive feels like minutes until soon we are at a little building that is completely empty and I'm super confused.
"Ok so just know you can totally say no, but my mom wants to buy this building and open another bakery here. She's tasted enough of your baking to want you to run it. I would help of course but I would be helping with hers too and I really don't want to do this forever and Embry is even less interested. Though working with you does seem much more appealing than working with my mom." He smiles his killer smile. "I've actually been talking to your dad about working with him. I start training after the holidays." He wants to be a cop? I don't like the thought of that. I mean sure it's a small mostly safe town but you never know.
But back to the bakery… I'm shock and just kind of staring at him. We spend a lot of time with his mom in the bakery and I've even helped her out a lot with her baking but I had no idea she thought so highly of me!
"If you don't want to its fine so don't worry about saying no. She'll probably still buy the building."
"I still have a year of school left." I tell him.
"Yep. And that's about the time it will take to buy and fix up this place. I'll do most of that so you don't have to worry about anything except telling me how you want it decorated. Oh yeah and the profit would be 50/50 but if you wanted to buy her out in the future she would let you. Basically my mom's in love with you."
"Can I think about it?" I ask him and he says of course.
He has the code to get the key out so we walk inside and look around. I can totally see it being a bakery/café like the one they already own.
I haven't really thought about what I'm going to do after I graduate. I've thought about college and Phil tells me I don't need to rush into any decisions, he'll support me in my decisions and financially as long as I want him too. But I don't plan on like living off him for the rest of my life. I love working with Sam's mom and I've always liked cooking and baking.
"Um I kind of totally want to do this." I tell him nervously and he's smiles and says that's awesome and his mom will be so excited. "I just want to talk to Phil about it." And he says of course.
We spend the next couple of hours at a huge flea market we happen to notice, really just not wanting to go back home.
"I'm starving, what time is it?" I ask him and he says almost 3. Phil should have already called me. We head back to the car and once I'm inside I call him but he doesn't answer.
I'm not one to worry a lot but Phil always answers his phone and he always calls when he says he will so I call his teammate Alex because I'm pretty sure that's who was picking him up.
Alex does answer but he says Phil must have missed his flight and he hasn't heard from him. OK, now I'm flipping out! Phil left hours earlier then he needed too since I was going with Sam and he didn't want to hang out at the house without me. There is no way he missed his flight. Alex promises to call if he hears anything and I promise the same to him. I ask Sam to take me home because I know something is wrong and Charlie is a cop, he'll know what to do. Right on cue, Charlie calls. He asks if I'm alone and I tell him no Sam is with me. He asks if Sam is driving and I say yes getting annoyed. He won't tell me what happened, just that I need to get home.
Sam is already driving that way but it is an hour drive and this time it feels like that long if not longer and it is much quieter. Sam tries to comfort me but it's impossible having no idea what's happened.
Finally we get home and Sam walks me in and is about to leave when Leah looks at Charlie and tells him Sam really should stay. Charlie agrees and has us both sit down at the kitchen table, I'm holding on to Sam like a lifeline and I'm getting more nervous by the second. Charlie is just sitting there looking at me.
"Dammit Charlie just tell me what happened! Where is Phil?" I scream at him.
"There was an accident. Icy roads probably, he went over the bridge. He's alive Bella but he is in very bad shape. They are not sure if he's going to survive or wake up. He's at Forks Hospital." Charlie tells me and I'm vaguely aware that I'm squeezing Sam's hand so much that it should be hurting him but he doesn't say anything.
"I have to go see him. Why did you tell us to come here? I could've have been there already! You hate him don't you? You wanted him to die alone! I hate you Charlie! Even if he dies you will never be my real dad! I hate you so much!" I scream at him and I'm crying and I break away from Sam and grab my car keys and start to my car but Sam grabs me and tells me he will take me.
I get into his car and Leah comes running out asking if she can come and I tell her I don't care and Sam says fine and we all get in and go.
As much as I try not to I end up crying hysterically and I hate it. The only person I ever really cry in front of is Phil. He's the only one that really gets me. With my mom, she would just try to fix it or talk me through it, I could never just cry. But now I'm crying uncontrollably, in a way I don't remember ever doing, not even when my mom died and somewhere in the back of my mind I'm thinking stop this, no one needs to see this but I can't stop. Then Sam grabs my hand and Leah is holding my shoulders from the back and I realize I have other people who love me. Leah truly does love me, like a real sister. And while Sam probably doesn't love me he seems to care about me a lot.
Once we get to the hospital Sam gets out and comes around to help me out and holds me close to him with Leah right behind us.
Sam asks for his room info but because he is in ICU they don't want to let anyone in except me because I'm his daughter. I hear Leah whispering something to the nurse and she hesitates but says OK and Leah smiles a thank you then turns to me and tells me Sam can come in with me but we can't stay long.
"Thank you Leah." I whisper and hug her. I don't know what she said but once again it reminds me that she really is my family.
"I love you Bella, I will be out here if you need anything." She whispers back and then Sam and I go into the room.
Not really sure what to expect I gasp in shock when I see him. He looks so… broken. The nurse tells us he broke both legs and his left arm and has internal bleeding from various places including his brain. He will be in surgery soon.
"He's one of the best in the country sweetie." The nurse tells me. "But his injuries are extensive, and the odds aren't great. Does he have more family that should be aware of the situation? If you can give me the #'s I can call them for you."
I give her Phil's parents # and also Alex's #. I know if she calls Alex he will inform the rest of the team. I tell her thank you and she nods and walks out.
I sit in a chair next to the bed and just stare at him for a minute. Now what do I do? Can he hear me? Can I touch him? I've never seen anyone like this.
"Just talk to him Bella. Maybe he can hear you but even if he can't just talk to him. And you can hold his hand. The nurse would have told you if you couldn't touch him at all." Sam tells me quietly and I wonder how he knew exactly what I needed to hear but I do as he says and hold Phil's hands and then just start talking.
"I love you Phil. More than I have every loved anyone. I need you more than anyone. Even more than I ever loved or needed my mom. I've never said it out loud but I think you already know. My mom loved me, I know that and she always made sure I had what I needed and mostly wanted but she was always a bit more concerned about herself. She never really had time for me; it was always her latest hobby, or her newest man. And every time I would start to like someone she was with she would break up with him and move us. I pretended it was fine but I hated it. And then there was you. I remember how awful I was too you because I didn't want to like you just to have to move. But even when I was mean to you were there for me until you finally broke me down and I loved you. The day you married my mom was the best day of my life, I finally had a dad. And more than that a real parent. One that put me first always and a real family. Your parents and the team took me in like I was truly your daughter. Losing my mom was hard Phil but I cannot lose you. I won't survive it. Please Daddy wake up. I love you so much." After I say everything I can think to say I just sit there with my eyes closed willing him to wake up. I've never called him Daddy but it comes out and it seems right.
Sam is just standing by the wall watching me.
"How did you know what to say?" I ask him.
"My dad died very similarly to this." He tells me and I start crying and he feels bad but I did ask. He couldn't not tell me.
"My mom was dead before I even knew. I never got the chance to say anything to her. And then when I found the letters I hated her. My mom was always more of a friend that fed me and bought me stuff than a mother. Phil is the first person who treated me like a real kid. I can't do this Sam. I can't lose him." Then the nurse comes in and says she has contacted Phil's parents and Alex and that the doctor is here so we have to go so he can be prepped for surgery.
"I love you Daddy." I whisper as Sam leads me out. We sit down in the waiting room with Leah and wait. Just wait. Alex calls me to tell me he is on the way with a couple of the other guys and Phil's parents call to tell me they will not be able to get there until the morning, no flights. Please keep them updated. Suddenly I feel like a little girl who is being given way too much to do. Leah senses this and takes my phone saying she will take calls and keep them updated.
So all I have to do is wait.