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My head hurt, my arm hurt, everything hurt. I opened my eyes, the bright light that shone down over me made me squint. It was too bright. I was led down, I was warm. Where was I?

"Savannah?" A voice called in the distance, a head popped into my line of view; the face smiled anxiously, the face that had three long scars across its pale cheek. Emily. She looked scared, paler than usual. "Hey, hey sweetie" She cooed and moved back slightly, I turned my head, the white walls were depressing, there was something hooked to my arm. I was in hospital. Why was I here?

I tried to remember, I couldn't. I glanced to where the pain was thumping from in my right shoulder, there was a bandage wrapped over it and down my arm, I tried to move it but the pain shot through me and I yelped, that's when I remembered. Paul, the cliff top. He had hit me into a tree, but it was an accident, he didn't know I was there. His knuckles, he was hurt. Where was he?

"Paul?" I asked and Emily pursed her lips. He was here, she just wasn't saying. "Where is he?" I asked and she shook her head. I went to sit up and she pushed me back down causing me to yelp again from the pain in my shoulder.

"Sav, you really hurt yourself. You've ripped half of your skin off your shoulder, they stitched it but you lost blood you need to lie down" She was firm now, her soft smile gone.

"Where is he?"

She rolled her eyes. "He is getting his knuckles sorted by Carlisle, and a talking to from Sam"

"Why?" I snapped back feeling defensive.

"Because he nearly tore your arm off and he led you to the most dangerous cliff top in La Push, actually probably the whole of Washington, America even"

"Don't be dramatic, I followed him and it wasn't his fault, Sam was horrid to him"

"Sam was protecting you"

"Sam was being a dick" I shouted now and Emily snapped her mouth shut. "Now pass me my jeans" I said sitting up and unhooked the machine from my finger and ripped the drip from my hand, I screeched as the needle came out, blood trickled out but I ignored the stinging. I wanted to see Paul. What had happened to me?

"You passed out, loss of blood. Paul carried you here" Emily responded as if I had asked out loud. I struggled with my jeans and she eventually started putting them on for me. I couldn't move my right arm it was so sore. "Only then did he decide maybe he should call Sam, only two hours after you went missing" She mumbled. Two hours, he walked to Forks with me, with broken hands. Why? Why had he been so stupid, he could have hurt his hands more? "He did hurt his hands more, Carlisle has had to take him to a private room to sort him so people don't get suspicious. Last I checked he was biting down on a slab of wood to muffle his screams, serves him right he should never have gone there with you"

"He didn't know I followed him, this isn't his fault"

Emily finally gave up her arguing and stepped aside. "Look, I love Paul and I love you, I want you two to be happy and sort this mess out but I am worried"

"I can handle it" I promised her and leant in to kiss her cheek. She smiled nodding slightly.

"He's down the hall, last door on the right" She sighed and rubbed her hand over my hair as if sorting it out. It hurt to walk, I hadn't hurt my legs but I was aching all over. I felt like I had been in a car crash. My mind wandered to my mom, what would she do if she could see me now? She would tell me no boy is worth this, but I would tell her she didn't understand, she didn't know Paul. I saw how sweet he could be, but I had ruined him. I needed to fix it, if I could, I needed him. Friends, we could be friends again and then maybe more, we were imprinted, we were meant to be. He was all I thought about, I missed him. I wanted him back; I wanted to feel his lips again, to be with him. I wanted to be part of his family again. I was going to win him back, I would do anything. I had to.

I was determined, I had never felt so sure of anything in my life and I marched as fast I could, wincing each time my arm tried to swing with my step. I found it, the room, his name lay on the door and without knocking I turned the handle and pushed the door open. That was when my determination failed me, when the air inside me flew out in a ragged breath; the pain in my arm stretched and fell all over my body. Rachel. My eyes found her first, she was stood by the side of the bed, Paul was sat upright looking at her. They were talking but stopped as I entered.

"Sorry" I squeaked and backed out, my heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces. Why was she always around?

"Sav" Paul shouted and I walked faster, ignoring the pain ripping in my chest and the churning of my stomach. "Savannah wait" He called again, a hand grabbed my left arm swinging me around, the pain on his face evident as he used his broken hands to clutch at me. "That's not, she's not, we aren't" He failed and I smiled the best I could.

"It's ok, we, us, we don't, we're a mess" I laughed on the verge of hysterics. Why were we such a mess? Everyone else imprinted and fell in love and lived happily ever after. "Maybe, maybe it's not meant to be, I hope your hands get better" I spoke on autopilot, my insides were killing me. I shouldn't have come back.

"No, she's"

A bitch, she's a bitch. That's what I wanted to say but I didn't. She's a horrible bitch. "She's been better to you than I have, I'll see you later" I smiled and turned again, this time he said nothing, probably because he knew what I said was true. I ignored Emily when I got back to my room, I curled up in my hospital bed and tried to sleep. Except sleep wasn't my friend.

...

"I couldn't fight it, I hoped you'd see my face and be reminded that for me, it isn't over" I sang along softly as I leant over the trunk of Embry's jeep and pulled up what I thought was a wrench but turns out was a screwdriver as Embry laughed and threw it straight back at me narrowly missing my head. We were at Sam and Emily's, they had finally left last night for a weekend honeymoon but were three days late leaving due to my injury and Paul's meltdown. But I finally forced them to go, I was fine here and I had Embry staying with me. It had been five days since the cliff top, I had been in hospital for one day and home for four, those four days had been long and lonely. I had thought of nothing but Paul, and of her. I didn't see any way of this situation getting better, too much had happened, too much had been said.

"And we are turning this shit off" Embry commented and flicked the channel on the radio, I did the most childish whine I could muster bringing myself from my thoughts and he rolled his eyes back at me. "It's so depressing"

"It's Adele, she's a musical genius" I fought back as he turned his music louder. He was into rock, all that typical 'I'm dark mysterious' shit males play to act like the cool rock guys who have long hair and ride motorbikes.

"And this child is the musical genius of Led Zeppelin, music genius since before Adele even hit puberty" He smirked back. "Pass me the screwdriver" He called from his place over the bonnet. This I knew, I had just had the screwdriver. I picked it up with my left hand and threw it at him; he glanced at it then and me. "Seriously? How?"

"My right arm still hurts, my throw is a little off" I argued trying to move my stiff right shoulder but I winced with the pain.

"No, this isn't a screwdriver" He sung back and waved it at me.

"That it is a screwdriver?" I argued back, it was most definitely a screwdriver.

"It's a spanner" He threw it back and I ducked letting it go flying past my head. "Talking of spanners" Embry grunted and I turned from my bent position to see Jared walking into the yard followed closely by Quil. Quil looked slightly pale and had one hand resting on his stomach.

"Looks like you two are having a great time" Jared joked as Embry threw a dirty towel at me.

"Yeah but if she keeps making me listen to Adele she'll be out on her ass again"

"Adele is a musical genius" Jared interrupted, he quickly realised he sounded slightly girly and started hammering the wooden picnic bench with Sam's big wooden hammer. "Or so Kim says she is anyway" He quickly added in and I laughed as Embry shot me a look, Jared was a total liar.

"Why are you so pale?" I asked Quil as he began messing with the tools. He grimaced whilst Jared laughed.

"He ate the entire wedding cake for breakfast, it was sent to his moms house for safe keeping and he ate it all. All four tiers, icing bride and groom included" Jared laughed while Quil made a face again and grabbed my bottle of water.

"Emily is gonna kill you" Embry called from the bonnet and Quil groaned again.

Emily had wanted that cake to stay intact for some reason, she was slightly sentimental over it. I stood leaning against the truck that Embry was trying to fix up, he had bought it for himself only to find it was broken.

"What are your plans now?" Quil asked looking at me, my plans for what? I must have looked puzzled because he began talking slowly to me like I was stupid. "Are you staying, are you going?"

"What am I being kicked out again?" I asked and they all rolled their eyes at me.

"They didn't even kick you out before" Jared called out. "You threw a tantrum and left"

"Well, I'm not being kicked out so that's a bonus" I said to Quil but this answer didn't satisfy his curiosity. "My plans?" I sighed and he nodded.

"Yeah, life plans. You know, get a job, stay here, start speaking to someone again, learn to drive, get married, go to a local college, have loads of wolf cubs and stuff" He listed off lightly as if not expecting me to hear certain comments. He was on about Paul.

"Oh I don't know, thought about getting a few tattoos, maybe join a biker group and see how many STD's I can rack up"

"Savannah" Jared groaned.

"What? Quil started it, so damn nosey" I was being childish again but Quil brought it out in me. "No Quil, I have no plans. I'll probably stay here, I have nowhere else. Yes I need a job but no I don't want to go to college and no I am not having loads of wolf cubs or getting married"

"But" He started rubbing his stomach and grimacing but I cut him off.

"I have some stuff that will settle your stomach if you want some, but stop being nosey"

He rubbed his stomach again and nodded.

"You take care of that baby, I'll sort this one" Jared smirked and pointed at Embry who was clutching his thumb, the thumb was bleeding. These guys were supposed to be tough wolves but they were wimps.

I walked inside with Quil and began rooting around the cupboards, baby stuff had taken over and I couldn't find anything.

"So" Quil spoke as I rifled around the drawers. "Think you'll go talk to him?"

"Who?"

"Jasper Cullen" Quil spoke sarcastically and I looked at him with a frown, who was Jasper Cullen? "Paul"

I stopped as I reached into the last drawer. My shoulder hurt again and I bit my lip, I wanted to see him but the image of him and Rachel at the hospital burned me. I didn't know what the hell was going on. I kept having a dream that he had kissed at the cliff, right before I passed out. But I couldn't remember if it was reality, my dreams kept me warm though, even if it wasn't real.

"It would do you good, I know you care about him"

"Quil, just leave it. Right now I need to settle back in and Paul has his life to sort" I tried being nice but I knew I had a sharp bite to my voice. I didn't want to be rude to him, I know he was trying to be a friend probably to me and Paul but I couldn't deal with it. "I don't even know what's going on so I mean I couldn't make that decision"

"But he doesn't know what to do either, look whatever happened that night it was because he missed you, he's sad, he needs his friend back and I think you need yours"

"Or maybe he's moved on and he was simply angry because of Sam, here take this 5mls" I grabbed the bottle of pink liquid and passed it behind me; he took it and made a disgusted noise that I chose to ignore. It took him a few minutes to get over the taste but he finally downed some water and looked back at me.

"You don't move on from an imprint, you can't. Neither of you can" He went on only stopping to fake gag.

I went to shut the drawer but it caught, it kept catching as I tried shutting it over and over again.

"Well, maybe, we will have to just leave it to the gods" I breathed out trying to shut the drawer, I stuck my hand in and grabbed a couple of small packages that were blocking it. The brown paper was familiar and the writing on the front, I had seen it before. "What's this?" I spoke to myself.

"Just old things from Paul's sister, doesn't matter, not sure why Em kept them" He commented grabbing more food from the fridge.

I rolled the packages in my hands, I had a funny feeling inside me. Surely he would have taken these to his dad?

"Well does he not want them or anything?"

"No, don't see why he would, no use for them now. Tragic though, sister has no idea"

I looked at Quil as he shoved chicken into his mouth, there were three packages, the writing looked old as did the paper. They were only small, must be small snow globes but Tommy would still love them. Maybe I should take them to him, I wanted to see him. I would need a lift, and when Paul wasn't there.

"Well if he won't take them, do you think he would mind if I did?" Quil looked at me and shrugged like it was literally nothing to him whether I took them or not.

"Don't see why not, not gonna hurt anyone. Know which plot it is?" He coughed as he choked on the chicken. Plot? Does he mean room? He was so stupid.

"Yes, I've been before I just need a lift"

He looked at me and frowned. "Lazy, it's a five minute walk"

"What is?" I stepped back from him placing two of the packages on the counter. "It's like an hour drive, I'm not a wolf I can't get the other side of Forks in five minutes"

"Forks?" Quil finally put the chicken down and looked at me, a slight frown on his face.

"Yes, Paul's dad lives in Forks" I spoke slower for him and the expression on his face dropped, the color in his cheeks faded and his eyebrows rose.

"Shit" He mumbled looking for the door. "You don't know? No one told you"

My heart began beating faster, a horrible feeling grew in my stomach and I clung onto the package in my hand tighter. "Told, told me what?" I stuttered and Quil backed away.

"Sorry I just, I thought Emily would have" He looked for the door again and then at me. "Pauls dad, Tommy, he, a few months ago he, umm he" He paused and my heart thudded. God please don't say it. "He had another stroke" Quil spoke quietly and the blood in my body thudded, loud bangs eloped in my ears and I swayed slightly. No. "He died Sav, I thought, I mean I thought Em would have told you"

Tears engulfed my throat, the burning sensation too horrible to bear. I began gulping at them, praying that they wouldn't come out. How had I not known? I didn't get to say bye to him. He must have thought I just stopped visiting. Poor Paul, he was alone. Quil had said his sister, oh shit.

"His sister?" I asked and Quil shrugged.

"Paul tried telling her, he only has one number and he tried but got no answer. Emily attempted to get a return address on these but nothing, Paul just gave up, didn't want anyone trying anymore so we didn't. Then he went crazy, just went off the rails"

"Where is he?" My voice broke now, this was horrible. I had such a mixture of feelings.

"Probably home, or a bar, who knows, he never speaks to us anymore"

"I mean his dad"

Quil looked at me, probably seeing the tears I was fighting. "The church, but the graveyard is behind it. I'll drive you"

"No, I want to walk, I need air" I grabbed my bag and put the packages in it, I stopped when I hit the door. "Has anything else happened I should know about?" The tears grew too much now and I didn't wait longer than to see Quil shake his head before walking out wiping at my eyes. Jared and Embry called out for me but I just kept walking wiping at my face and holding my stomach. This was horrible. Paul was all alone, not even his sister. He had gone crazy, I had left him and then his dad dies. He hated me because he was alone.

I kept walking until I saw it, the road I had been on a week before wondering if I should leave and I wish I had. I wish I didn't know how bad Paul was or his dad, I wish I hadn't seen Rachel, I wish I wasn't here but I was. I walked to the church and then behind it until I reached the gate to the graveyard, it was only small and very old. I looked up and down the rows looking for the newest grave. My insides were thudding and my body shivering. I hadn't brought a coat with me. I hated graves.

I found a couple new ones but none were Tommy, then I saw it, the very last row of graves right in the corner next to a small tree lay a wooden cross, next to the cross was a single snow globe. Tommy. It had to be. I felt sick, I felt faint but I kept going. His name was there, date of death, it had been only two weeks after I left, nobody had told me, nobody. How had this happened? The snow globe was red, inside lay a picture not of a place but of people and so I glanced at it closer. A family photo, a little boy and a baby girl then two adults, one was Tommy. It was their family. Another tear left my eye and I stood up again, why had this happened? Everything was a mess and I felt so guilty.

I took a package out of my bag and unwrapped it, it was one from New Jersey, I shook it before laying it down beside the cross, then the next one, it was from Florida and finally the last one. My hands were shivering, rain had begun to drizzle around me and my top was slowly getting soaked. I unwrapped the last one, my face frowning as I saw a statue of liberty sat in the middle of the snow globe, New York. She had been in New York. A image of someone flashed my mind, someone I thought I knew but I was crazy, I didn't know Paul's sister. New York is a big place.

"I'm sorry" I whispered kneeling down on the wet floor in front of the grave. I never said goodbye to him. Tears began forming and one by one they soaked my cheeks, I was crying for Tommy, for Paul for everything. How had everything got this messed up?

"Are you ok?" A soft voice asked causing me to jump, I turned around to look and the sight made my stomach swoop in butterflies. Rachel Black. Why was she everywhere?

"Fine" I snapped without meaning to be quite so harsh and got to my feet. She was holding a bunch of flowers but was stood a few headstones away. She nodded and looked away, I tried to ignore her but I was conscious of her presence.

"I'm glad someone came to visit him" She spoke again and I looked back at her, she placed the flowers on a grave and looked back at me. "Paul doesn't come here, nobody does really except Emily and I drop by when I come to visit mom" She paused and looked at the grave in front of her. My stomach twisted, mom, I had forgot. Jakes mom died, her mom. "Car accident, I was only sixteen"

My heart dropped this time, she was me basically. "Me too" I whispered and she frowned at me. "My mom, last year, car accident" I spoke and she looked slightly shocked, I would have thought she would have known.

"I'm sorry" She smiled in a sad way, part of wanted to like her but then a bigger part of me was still jealous.

"How was he?" I asked as I looked at the grave.

"I don't know, I never saw him" She replied, watching me. I felt her eyes on me.

"I mean Paul, when it happened"

There was a short silence, I heard her moving, getting closer. "I don't know, he wasn't here until a week after it happened and then, he wouldn't see anyone"

I looked at her, she was watching me with a strange look on her face. She was beautiful, her eyebrows arched in the most perfect shape. "What do you mean, where was he?"

"Finding you" She whispered, there was a crack in her voice like this hurt her to say. My heart beat hardened and Kim's words suddenly hit me, he had come to find me and then when he got back...Kim had stopped, she hadn't told me. Oh jesus, Tommy died alone and Paul was out looking for me, he thought I had moved on, he was distraught because of me, he missed his fathers death because of me. "Since it happened, I mean, he came home and even before Sam told him about Tommy he was different, he was hurting and then when he found out he went crazy. Shut himself away, stopped doing anything. The first time I saw him for months was at the wedding, then he left and the next time I saw him he was sat in hospital with broken hands and you're there with a ripped up shoulder" She paused. She kept opening and shutting her mouth. "I'm a nurse" She spoke softly, it all clicked then. She was there because she was a nurse.

"Oh" Was all I could reply and she smiled again.

"Look, I know you ran out because you saw me and I know we have never really" She paused, thinking. "Clicked"

This time I smiled, we hadn't. She was all wrapped up in Paul and I was jealous.

"I wanted to hate you, I kept telling myself I did but only because I was jealous. I had dated Paul in high school, we broke up when I left for college and then when I came back I thought that he would be waiting for me and he wasn't, he didn't care when he saw me home, but I kept trying because I loved him and then he started talking to me again, he would let me go to his and hang out, it wasn't what I wanted but it was good enough to have a part of Paul in my life again"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I've had enough of hating you" She laughed slightly. "When you turned up, it changed, he went from being friendly to me to not wanting me near him, if I tried to touch him he flinched away, he acted like I was repulsive. Then I saw him watching you, he began asking questions about you, he thought I would know stuff about you and when I didn't he got mad. He only cared about you but I was happy because to you he acted like he hated you, I thought maybe it would be ok, he would still want me and hate you but then you were there, at his house, at his dads and I knew I had lost him. So I hated you and I wished so hard that you would go away and eventually" She stopped.

"I did" I talked for her and she nodded. "But now I'm back and you hate me again"

She laughed and shook her head. "No, when you were away I saw Paul break, he was lost and for a while I thought it was because of his dad but then I realised it wasn't Tommy, he missed you and I heard Jake and my dad talking about it, they think I don't know about the wolf situation but I do, I am not stupid. I know you are more than a crush for Paul and I realised it was killing him not being near you" She stopped, tears formed in her eyes and she looked down. "I realised that I would never be good enough for him but I didn't want to see him like he was and so, so I found you" She stopped, she was chewing on her lip whilst I stared at her.

I didn't understand.

"I hoped that you were the same size as me" She croaked out and I frowned harder, what does she mean? "I was with Emily when they chose the bridesmaid dresses" She said again and then it clicked.

"You sent the dress?" I whispered and she nodded, I felt like my chest was crumbling, my mind was exploding. I thought Leah, but it had to be Leah. Why would Rachel do that? "The letter?" She nodded again. "But why, you, I mean we never"

"No but I care about Paul, I thought that if you came back he would smile again but then you came home and it wasn't ok, and then he ended up hurting you and now he is worse. He won't open his door, he won't eat, he isn't doing anything and it's my fault. I shouldn't have done it like I did, I should have been honest but you had to come home, he needs you and I know you need him"

"But you love him still?" I asked and she paused, then nodded. She was in love with him, but she brought me back, she brought me here.

"I'm sorry if you hate me even more now but I had to do something, I know I'll never be good enough for him and it will kill me to see him with you but if he is happy then" She started crying, her eyes filled and her lips trembled. "Just, please don't hurt him again" She whispered in broken speech before walking backwards. I wasn't sure if I could process what just happened, everything seemed so big and confusing.

"How did you find me?" I asked and she turned to look at me.

"I may have pretended to be a pretty blonde on FaceBook to your friend, he gives out information quite easily" She grinned then a tear fell, she was trying to smile but she was hurting.

"I'm sorry" I called out to her, she offered me a little head nod before walking away running her hand over her moms gravestone before wrapping her jacket around her and walking from the church grounds.

I looked up at the trees around me, tears formed in my own eyes and spilled over my cold cheeks. What the hell was happening?

OOOOO one of you guessed it! Tommy died :( Don't hate me too much, it's not gonna be so depressing forever!