"Where the hell have you been?" Embry barked at me as I walked into the house, him and Jared were sat at the table, Quil and Jake were in the kitchen eating.

"Is this house ever empty from you people?" I asked walking to the kitchen and grabbing myself a water.

"You been crying?" Jake asked looking at me, I shrugged. "What's wrong?"

"Paul" I whispered and Jake groaned as did Jared.

"What has he done now?" Jared asked, I was shaking trying to open my water bottle. I was so confused.

"Rachel" I said again in a whisper and Jake dropped his burger.

"He did who?" He asked, his hands shaking slightly while Quil began telling me to shut up silently behind his best friend.

"No, just Rachel, she" I stopped, how did I explain all this to these guys? I couldn't, Rachel wouldn't want them all knowing. I couldn't do that to her, I felt pity for her. "She just helped me" I said again and Jake calmed down. "Where is Paul?" I dropped the water bottle after failing to open it, I was shivering from the cold but also from what had happened.

"Savannah what has happened?"Embry asked raising from his chair slightly.

I didn't know what had happened, well I knew what had happened but I didn't know what to do. No, I knew what to do I was just scared. I had to face it, I had to go to Paul but I was scared he wouldn't want me. I had been an ass, he had been an ass, too much had gone wrong for it to ever possibly be right, I think. But if I didn't try then Rachel sacrificed it all for nothing, Paul would be hurt forever, I would never find my clarity and the pack would be broken. I had to do something, no I was going to do something. I needed him.

"Where is Paul?" I asked again and Jared looked at me with narrowed eyes, I think he caught onto what I was thinking, somehow.

"He is supposed to be patrolling up by the river dividing us and Forks, but he hasn't been at post for a few weeks so" He shrugged but I nodded, he was there, I had a feeling. Maybe I was wrong but I could try there. "Want a lift?" Jared asked and I shook my head.

I was going. I pushed myself from the counter and walked toward the door only to be stopped by Quil. "Wait, you have panda eyes" He said and began dabbing at my face where my tears had stained me. "Now you can go, go get your wolf" He winked at me and I felt sick. I couldn't do this. I turned around to walk to the stairs but Embry was blocking me. I had to do this. So I walked out of the house before I could scare myself anymore, the cat calls behind me pushing me further and further to the trees. It was only after five minutes of walking that I realised I wasn't sure where the river was, nor if Paul would be there but I kept walking anyway.

It was cold, it was dark and slightly scary but I had kept going until I heard the sound of water, then I kept going until I saw the water. I paused at the water's edge, glancing over the way into the trees of Forks. It was quite pretty, yet eerily quiet. I had no idea where Paul would be patrolling, this could go for miles. I didn't even know if he was patrolling.

"Where are you?" I whispered to myself and looked up and down the river, maybe he would be further up? Or further down? I didn't know, I was surprised I even got this far but I turned to look up the river, the land got higher as it went up mountain slightly, that way. Something told me it was that way and so I began walking.

I needed to prepare for what to say when I saw him, maybe just sorry, maybe I should just hug him but then he may throw me into a tree again. Maybe I could tell him I missed him, but then I already said those things at the cliff. Or we could have a movie moment and just kiss. But then he still thinks I'm a child so he wouldn't want to kiss me. My lips burned at the thought, I wanted to be close to him, to feel warm again. My internal arguments continued until a snap behind me made me stop. My body froze and my breath came out in little puffs that I could see as it hit the cold air. Another snap echoed and I jumped, I could hear breathing, heavy breathing. If it was a bear I was dead, or a vampire I would be even deader.

The breathing got louder against the quiet night, a shriek of an owl made me jump again and whatever was behind me jumped too causing the grass to crunch beneath their feet. I had to look, but if I moved I was sure I would die. No, I had to look. I slowly turned my head, the path behind me was a thick fury of trees but one thing stood out, and hiding between two huge trunks was a pair of eyes, grey eyes that shone out at me like a beacon. It was huge; one massive leg stepped forward into the light, wolf. A huge grey wolf whose muscles protruded beneath its silky fur. Paul. He was here.

I didn't know what to say, or whether to say anything so I simply stared at him, taking in his beauty. His breath too was hitting the cold air, the sound around us was us breathing. He just stared at me, I noticed something tied to his leg but I couldn't look properly, I could only focus on his eyes.

"Paul" I whispered and the wolf bent its head slightly, he was nearly bigger than me in wolf form, part of me was scared but mostly I felt safe, safer than I had ever felt in all my life. I had to do something, say something, but what? "I'm sorry" Was all that came out, the wolf bent its head lower now, I needed to speak to him not a wolf but I couldn't ask him to change back. "I'm sorry for everything" I went on and the wolf locked eyes with me again causing my breath to hitch. "I shouldn't have ran like I did, I should have been here when your dad" I paused, there was pain in his eyes. "I shouldn't have acted like I did but" I paused, but what? How do I explain everything? "I was scared, and you scared me, you still do but I know you wouldn't hurt me"

The wolf whined slightly, his eyes looking at my shoulder.

"Not on purpose you wouldn't, but I hurt you. I know you came to Chicago, and I know you saw me with him but he was just a childhood friend, I never stopped thinking about here or you and I missed you and I missed this stupid town and I just, I'm sorry it took someone else to bring me home. I should have grown up and realised that" I stopped, what was I saying? "Paul, I can't not have you around and I can't handle seeing you so upset and lonely and so, I was wondering, if maybe, if we could just be friends again, just, I, it's just that I think, I think that I love you quite a lot and I just, I've been an ass and I just I want you to know that I am sorry and I want to fix the mess that we are and I want you to have your pack back and oh shit" I slapped my hand to my mouth, he was a wolf. He was currently a wolf. That means the pack could hear and see me write now if they were phased. I didn't need to say anything, amusement flashed in Paul's eyes and a series of howls filled the night sky. They were listening. I didn't know what to do or say. It was awkward and silent and I wanted to turn and run but Paul turned first, his eyes had gone back to their dead stare and he turned and walked back into the tree line, I couldn't see him, I couldn't hear him. I had failed. "Maybe not" I whispered to myself, maybe I should give up, but I didn't want to.

I turned myself to walk away but I heard the rustle of the floor and leaves behind me, the breathing was back but this time there was warmth that rushed over my body. Someone was stood directly behind me, nearly touching me.

"I'm sorry too" He whispered sending a shiver over me. Paul.

"It wasn't you" I said back.

"We are both as stubborn as each other" He replied and I felt a hand touch my bad shoulder, it was so gentle it barely hurt but I still winced waiting for the pain. "I'm sorry" He said and I turned to look at him.

"Really made a mess of this huh?" I whispered not looking at his face, I heard him breath out as if chuckling but I wasn't sure.

"Maybe, but I'm sure maybe that it's fixable" He spoke in more of a questioning manner, he wasn't sure of his own words. Maybe he didn't know if it would be fixable. "If you want to fix it that is" He went on and I let out a long breath.

"Do you?"

He didn't reply, he said nothing and my stomach began twisting. He was thinking, I could almost hear his mind working as he thought it over. He was going to say no, I'm too stubborn and I'm too much of a bitch.

"I can leave you alone I won't"

My desperate mumbles were cut off as Paul's face swooped down to mine and he placed a short, warm kiss on my open lips. As quickly as he did it he pulled back, it was only then that I really looked at him. I saw the light in his eyes flicker back in a way that I doubted they had since I had first left, his dull cheeks flushed pink and he ran a hand through his floppy long hair.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have" He started but this time my feet pushed me up and I leant in and kissed him, it was quick, I was nervous, I had never done this. Warmth ran through me and I felt like I was floating but I started pulling back, my lips left his for a second but then his arms found my waist and he pulled me back. I yelped from the sudden movement but I didn't resist. The smell of his skin washed over me and I let him kiss me, his lips were soft and warm, my heart was flying and I felt my legs give out as he lifted me slightly from the ground. "Don't leave again" He whispered against my lips as he lowered me back down, the pain in my shoulder lashed out but I didn't care, all I could do was shake my head as I looked at him.

Neither of us said another word, it was only when a howl let up into the night that Paul let out a breathy laugh and looked across the river to where he could obviously see someone. I couldn't see anyone but Paul flipped his finger out before looking back at me.

"Jake and Nessie, Jared doesn't trust me with you" He told me, his eyes went sad now and I nodded. The cliff top had made them all slightly anti Paul being alone with me.

"What do we do?" I asked as he let me go, I wasn't used to this, I didn't know how to be with a guy like Paul, with a guy who I cared for.

Paul seemed to be unsure too, he looked around then back at me. "Dinner?" He said hopefully.

"Dinner" I nodded and he leant in bringing me closer to his body, he kissed the top of my head and whispered 'sorry' again. But all I could do was soak in the warmth and the smell. My Paul.

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