Amanda playful slapped him on his arm. She couldn't help but laugh at his joke. He always made her happy no matter how upset she'd get. One joke no matter how corny it was made her smile. She looked at him and smiled.
"Amanda? Oh, God…please wake up." Nick said frantically.
Amanda hadn't moved since kept screaming her name. Nick was freaking out. He woke up feeling wet and sticky; he got up to turn the light on and noticed it was blood. If she wouldn't wake up the next time he screamed her name he was dialing 911.
When she finally awoke the first thing that came out of her mouth was Nick's entire name. Amanda didn't get why she was in the hospital. The nurses said she needed to relax before the doctor came and explained. The moment the doctor came in Amanda practically begged him to get Nick. If it was bad news they were gonna hear it together.
The doctor left the room and told a nearby nurse to get Nick. Nick had been in the waiting room since they first brought her in. He begged the nurses to let him go in her room the moment they said she was stable. They wouldn't allow him to so, he sat in waiting room quietly soon falling asleep.
One of the nurses went to go wake him up. When he awoke he noticed the nurses face wasn't saying, "Sorry for your lose," or "Your girlfriend is in an induced coma." The nurse informed just what she was allowed to say and that she kept calling for him. She opened the door for him, nodded at the doctor, and left.
Amanda took notice of Nick's appearance. He looked tired, very tired and uncomfortable. She was surprised he stayed all night. What did he do with Frannie? She was hoping that he left her at her neighbors. If he had forgotten she'd never forgive him for starving Fran. She heard her name being called and snapped out of her thoughts.
" ?" The doctor asked hesitantly.
"Yes." Amanda replied. She felt Nick squeeze her hand.
"When was the last time you had your period?" He asked.
Amanda sucked in her cheeks. When was the last time she had her cycle? Damn, was it February or January? She replied saying, "January or February. I'm not really sure."
The doctor nodded his head. Then he said, " were you aware that you were pregnant?"
"Pregnant? Are you joking? I can't be pregnant! I'm on the pill." Amanda said, with her voice getting higher with every word.
"You were pregnant. I'm sorry to inform you that you had a miscarriage." The doctor said. He left the room after that.
Nick was shocked with the doctors news, but what madd him stop pacing the room was her screaming. He kept telling Amanda to stop screaming, but she wouldn't. He felt like he was being shook by someone.
Nick sat up. He was drenched in sweat and Amanda looked at him, asking if he was ok. He nodded while stripping down to his boxers. Then he walked to the bathroom closing the door behind him. He washed his face with cold water. It was the third time in two nights he was awoken by Amanda over a dream.
He looked into the mirror. Was he finally losing it? It's been a week since Amanda was home from the shooting. It should be the other way around. Him waking her up from nightmares not her. No matter how he tried to get that night out of his head he couldn't. It was constantly on reply on his mind.
He left the bathroom and walked straight to the kitchen. He needed water to cool himself. There was no way in hell he was going back to bed with Amanda up. She'd ask to many questions to his liking. Nick was too busy in his thoughts to notice Amanda was behind him.
"Nick?" She asked softly, not wanting to startle him.
"Hmm, did I wake you up again? Sorry, didn't mean to." Nick said, sounding distant.
"Nope, I was waiting for you to come back to sleep, but you went to the kitchen instead." Amanda replied.
"Yeah, needed some water to drink." Nick mumbles.
"Mhm, when you're ready to come back to bed just come. I'll probably be asleep." Amanda said.
Amanda walked closer to Nick giving him a quick kiss and walked back to the bedroom. She always knew what to do or what to say when he needed it. Even when they were fighting she always knew better.
Nick filled the glass with water and sat down on the couch. He was no were ready to get back to sleep. Sleep was his enemy; it was never enough to keep him awake. Just this Tuesday he fell asleep on his desk after Olivia expressed she needed his DD5. She was upset when she came back an hour later to see him still in the same position. If she hadn't banged his desk he'd probably wake up from a nightmare. When Olivia found out he wasn't sleeping she sent him home and told him she'll call Amanda in the morning to see if he slept. That was two days ago and for the past two mornings she'd call Amanda.
Nick was pissed that Olivia kept calling Amanda for the past two days. This morning she called in Amanda for a case at two in the morning. Nick hadn't fallen asleep since then. He was afraid to sleep because these nightmares were so realistic. Amanda threatened him more than once about a therapist, but then she saw the look on his face. It said everything he wasn't saying and Amanda backed off. She hadn't mentioned a therapist after that.
Nick was surprised Amanda was allowed back on field when it finally hit him. He called her saying Olivia must of been losing her mind; it took about fifteen minutes to calm Nick down. She explained that she wasn't sent to crime scene just to the precinct. Amanda definitely knew Nick was getting paranoid and it was just the lack of sleep he was having. She made a mental note to buy some sleeping tea and talking to Olivia.
It was around ten when Olivia sent everyone home while she returned to her office. Amanda gather her stuff together and put them on her desk. She knocked lightly on the door; Olivia signal for her to enter. She needed help getting Nick and from experience Amanda wasn't good, but Olivia was. It was like her sixth sense she adopted while working SVU. Olivia sensed the conversation they were about to have wasn't about herself.
"I need your help. He's not himself anymore; it's like sleep is his enemy." Amanda spilled.
"You should send him to see a therapist." Olivia said, not looking up.
"He won't go, I've brought it up with him and he gave me this look." Amanda said.
"Well, I can't help you or Nick then. He needs to be back at work Monday." Olivia said coldly.
Amanda's anger rose and she responded with a colder tone saying, "You can't help?! You won't do it because you're too stuck up! He was there for you throughout the time when Lewis grabbed you for first and the second telling us we can't go to sleep 'till we found you. So don't tell me you can't."
Amanda's words stung Olivia; she hadn't realized Nick did that. I guess he wanted his partner alive and well. Maybe Amanda was right about her being stuck up; ever since she became CO the squad treated her differently. They laughed within each other including Carisi, who came last month. Even Amanda was starting to warm up to Carisi, who she disliked when he first came.
Amanda stopped at the supermarket stocking up on stuff; the fridge at Nick's apartment was starting to look like a ghost. She remembered to buy Chamomile Tea. Buying two packs of Chamomile Tea was necessary because Nick wasn't sleep whether she was there or not. When she got home the apartment was empty with an exception of Frannie. She found a note on the fridge explaining where Nick was.
She put away the groceries and keeping out the stuff she need to make brownies. Lately she was craving brownies so, she bought the ingredients to make brownies. Then she thought if she's making brownies might as well cook dinner. She got some spaghetti and meatballs and put them on the stove to boil. By the time the door unlocked and Nick emerged from the door dinner was done and the brownies were still in the stove to stay warm.
The smell of dinner made Nick want to crawl in a hole. It wasn't that Amanda was a bad cook because she was excellent. It was the fact he hadn't ate in hours. Giving her a quick kiss he went to bathroom to shower; if he couldn't sleep he was gonna run. Running always seemed to calm Nick down no matter the situation. Gave him a chance to think and sometimes clear his mind.
He finally came out of the bathroom 15 minutes later. Amanda asked him if he wanted her to warm up the spaghetti. He shock his head no taking a seat at the table. They ate in silence for the beginning half of dinner 'till Amanda asked him what he did all day. Nick briefly told her about his day and in return he asked how her day was. She explained little bit of her day; the less he knew the more he'd want to go back to work.
Amanda took out the brownies and Nick's eyes lit up like a little kid. He tried to get one brownie, but Amanda slapped it away quickly. If he wanted one he was gonna have to answer some questions first.
"Why aren't you sleeping anymore?" Amanda asked bluntly.
"Can I have a brownie?" Nick asked, avoiding the question.
"Nick, why aren't sleeping?" Amanda asked.
"I don't sleep because I'm not tired, now give me a brownie." Nick whined.
"Not until you answer some questions." Amanda warned.
"Personal reasons, now give me a damn brownie!" Nick strained.
"Personal reasons my ass," she scoffed. "Nick are you having nightmares again?" She asked.
"Look, if I wanted to talk to you about why I wasn't I would've told you by now." Nick retorted.
"I'm done trying to help, there's tea in cabinet if you want some before bed. Also, Olivia says you have to be at by Monday." Amanda said coldly.
Nick put the remaining brownies in the fridge and made some tea. He was gonna buy these tomorrow if he went through another sleepless night. Putting the water to boil, he entered the bedroom getting a pillow and blanket; setting the items on the couch knowing this was his bed 'till she left. Around 5 Nick woke up drenched in his sweat. He changed his clothes and went for jog. Amanda woke fifteen minutes later to see Nick gone. Amanda was frantic as she saw no note. Nothing to tell her where he went. If only Amanda knew he went for a jog.
tbc…
A/N: I know it took like months to update, but I'm trying guys. I've finally finished Finding The Truth so, my focus is on this fanfic. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It might not make sense so let me clarify: Amanda has been home 1-2 weeks and is back at work because Nick isn't sleeping meaning he can't work. The beginning is Nick having a nightmare. It's about the night Amanda has the miscarriage and it's haunting him. You'll probably found out next chapter why it's haunting him. If there is more confusing please feel free to message me. Leave some reviews! Till next time.