Oh my god. It's been some time, huh? I apologize profusely!

Ashlee finally got around to giving me the plan- along with heart shaped cookies for Valentines (yum)- so let's get started!

I've started writing Real-Person Fanfiction, which is as disturbing as it is fun. Anyone heard of Emblem3?

Favourite band, right there. I normally don't write fanfiction about people who are, you know, actually real... but they're all so cute! Anyway, I've written like two huge one shots and a few small ones and I can't freakin' post them because no internet and you can't post Real-Person Fanfiction on here, apparently.

But I'm desperate for feedback. If anyone wants to read my Emblem3 stuff, I'll love you forever. And probably give you previews for this/another one of my P&F stories or something. Anyone? Any takers? PM me or review in? I'd love you so much?

WARNING: slash, boy love, guy on guy. Don't like it, don't read. Mentions of rape.

Disclaimer: if I actually owned anything, we all know Phineas and Ferb would be together. But alas~

OoO

"Julius Caesar," Ferb muttered to himself as he swung his locker door open and looked over his books. He was trying to remember the homework he'd been given over the day, so he'd know which books he needed to take home with him. The first thing that came to mind was his English essay.

300 words on Julius Caesar and why he's an ignoramus dick who can't keep his trap shut.

Ferb winced at his line of thought and shook his head, trying to get his mind back into order. It had become much harder to do ever since... well, he didn't really want to think about it.

300 words on Julius Caesar and why he allowed the Roman Empire to fall apart... because he's a dick and won't shut up when it comes to secrets.

God damn it.

Pressing his lips together in a frown, he mentally chastised himself for being too hung up over the fact that he was pissed off at Buford. Technically it was Buford's fault that Phineas had found out, but Ferb had already assured the bully that it was okay. He shouldn't be feeling this level of annoyance and resentment towards him.

He grabbed his english book and shoved it into his bag before looking back into his locker, mentally going over the classes he'd had that day.

Maths, pages four to eight. Funny, that's almost the exact amount of times Phineas has looked at me in the past couple of days.

Damn it, Ferb, focus.

History, essay on black civil rights and reading pages 134 to 145.

Nothing for biology or chemistry, thank god.

He took his maths and history books and put them in his bag before trying to remember the chores he had to do along with his homework.

Fix the engine in Candace's car so it doesn't blow out on her when she's driving. Her having an early birth would be the icing on the metaphorical cake this week.

"Ferb!"

Hearing Buford's voice pulled Ferb out of his thoughts, and a bout of uncontrollable anger surged forward before he could stop it. The green-haired teen slammed his locker shut and locked it as his friend walked over, before fixing said brunet friend with a glare. "Fuck you, Van Stomm."

"Woah," Buford blinked in surprise and held his hands up defensively. "Jesus, sorry for whatever I did. What's got your panties in a bunch?"

Ferb stared at the green metal of his locker before sighing and throwing Buford an apologetic look. "Sorry, been stressed out a little."

"I can imagine," Buford punched his shoulder in a show of manly support before they started walking down the hallway together, in the general direction of the parking lot. "Considering everything that's gone on lately."

"Let's not talk about that right now," Ferb winced, trying to force his mind away from a very certain redhead.

A certain redhead that was heading their way at that very moment.

Phineas didn't see them until it was too late to turn around or avoid them, so the boy plastered an obviously fake smile on his face as they grew closer. Once they were in front of each other, they all stopped- much to the chagrin of the students behind them- and Phineas kept his eyes firmly on Buford, ignoring Ferb completely.

"What's up, P-brain?" the brunet joked, nodding once in greeting.

"Hey, Buford," Phineas responded, still not looking over at his step-brother.

Said step-brother frowned in annoyance. He'd been ignored by his brother pretty much the whole week, and it was starting to get on his nerves. He understood that the smaller boy would be freaked out- who wouldn't- but this was going too far. They were supposed to be best friends, for crying out loud. Brothers through thick and thin.

With that in mind, Ferb stepped forward a little to get Phineas' attention and cleared his throat. "Phin, can we just talk-"

"Sorry, brother," the redhead cut him off, emphasizing the second word. "I don't have time."

Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, Isabella appeared from behind him and grabbed his arm, seemingly unaware of the heavy tension surrounding the three boys. After smiling at Buford and Ferb, she turned her attention on the boy she was currently grasping and grinned. "Ready to go?"

"Sure, Isa," Phineas smiled back at her- it looked a little forced in Ferb's opinion but no one was asking him anyway- before turning his back on the other two boys. "You're parked on the other side of the school, right?"

"Yup!" Isabella answered, and the rest of their conversation faded as the two walked away, leaving Ferb and Buford to stare at their retreating backs incredulously.

"Well," Buford said after a moment of awkward silence. "What the actual fuck was that all about?"

Ferb grunted and they began to walk again, due to the fact they were pretty much a road block in the hallways and were bound to get yelled at for being in the way at some point. He glanced at his friend and shrugged. "Well, at least I got him to talk to me."

"That is the saddest thing I've ever heard," the brunet rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry, I know I caused all this-"

"We've been through this before," Ferb waved him off impatiently. "So stop apologizing."

"Fine," Buford pouted, which looked rather unusual on a boy his size. The pout faded once he realized it wouldn't work, and they continued towards the parking lot in silence.

Once there, they both stopped at Ferb's dark blue car and Buford glanced over to where his mother was parked, mouth twisting into a frown. "So I'm guessing you want to cancel our drive tonight?"

"Yeah," Ferb nodded, unlocking his car and throwing his bag in the backseat. Normally he'd drive Phineas home but the redhead had started getting rides from Isabella- who was more than happy to help- ever since he'd found out about... Ferb forced his mind away from those kind of thoughts. They would do nothing but upset him. "I was going to just drive around for a bit now, instead. I would go get my motorbike but I just kind of need to clear my head as soon as possible, you know?"

The slightest smile played at Buford's lips. "I'll come with you."

The brunet waved at his mother before jumping into the passenger's seat of Ferb's car, not even waiting for any kind of confirmation from his friend. A bit stunned, but not annoyed, the green-haired teen looked up to see Buford's mother driving off before he sat down in the driver's seat.

"Are you coming along just to babysit me?" he asked, starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. Already he was planning on heading towards the library.

"That's only part of it," Buford laughed, leaning back in the seat and winding down the window so the wind ruffled his hair. "I wanted to get away from Mom. She's driving me crazy."

"Why?" Ferb asked curiously, not even bothering to wonder if it was any of his business. He and Buford told each other pretty much everything now. They'd both lost their best friends and only had each other to rely on.

"She caught me watching the play online," Buford grumbled, glancing away. "And crying my eyes out."

The infamous Cinderella play had been captured on some kid's camcorder and put online for the world to see. It had gotten quite a few hits but not enough to be considered internet famous, and Ferb had watched it once or twice. It was tough to watch, and he wasn't really that involved. It must be a whole lot worse for Buford, who probably watched it all the time just to torture himself.

"Fair enough," he said eventually, knowing not to lecture the other because he'd only get the cold shoulder. Buford didn't like to be lectured. Ferb telling him not to watch the play wouldn't make any difference.

"It's been ages," the brunet sighed after a moment. "I'm starting to wonder if Baljeet is even going to come back. Maybe he's moved to India and didn't have the courage to tell me."

"Don't be stupid," Ferb told him shortly, knowing that kind of thinking had to be stopped before it consumed his friend completely. "Baljeet and Phineas are closer than you think, he would have told him."

"Yeah, but Phineas wouldn't tell either of us," Buford said miserably.

"He'd tell Isabella, who would tell the whole school," Ferb countered, keeping his eyes on the road. "Stop worrying, okay? Baljeet will be back soon."

"Fine," Buford sighed, seeming to believe his claim.

The problem was, Ferb himself didn't really believe it.

It was starting to get darker outside, Ferb noted. He was alone in the car now, driving home from the library where he and Buford had been doing homework. Well, he had been doing homework and Buford had been mucking around on one of the computers. The brunet had left after an hour or so after getting a call from his mother, who claimed that someone wanted to talk to him.

Buford left pretty quickly, and Ferb hadn't had much time to comfort him. They both knew it was most likely more psychiatrists, people who Buford's mother had been forcing the teen to talk with ever since the play. The brunet hated every minute of it, but he went along with it for his mother's sake. None of it seemed to be helping him much.

Ferb had continued with his homework until the library had closed, and when he'd pulled his phone out of his bag, he saw he'd had about ten missed calls from Candace, and five from his mother. Feeling like he'd missed something important, he'd immediately gotten into the car and started home.

Ferb parked up in the driveway, taking a deep breath. He felt like something horrible had happened, and when he looked up and saw his step-sister coming out of the house with a worried expression, he almost felt like crying. It was eerily reminiscent to when his mother had died, and he wasn't sure how well he could handle another death. But then, he was getting ahead of himself. He didn't know anything had happened yet.

Climbing out of the car, he was pulled into a warm hug by Candace, who's pregnant belly pressed against his stomach the whole time. It was a weird feeling, but he ignored it in favour of staring at her face, trying to glean any clues from her expression.

"Where have you been?" she asked in a scolding tone. "Mom and I tried to call you like a million times."

"I was at the library doing homework," he told her.

"Any other kid and I wouldn't believe them, but that is so like you," Candace rolled her eyes before taking his hand and leading him over to the front steps. She sat down and pulled on his hand. "Come sit with me."

He obligingly sat down next to her, and she leaned her head on his shoulder. He felt a surge of affection for her- she was his sister after all- but that was soon overcome with dread as she spoke up. "I kind of wanted to tell you first..."

"Tell me what?" he asked, forcing his voice not to crack with worry.

"I know how close you were to Phineas..." Candace trailed off, biting her lower lip.

"He's..." Ferb cleared his throat, feeling as if his stomach had dropped to somewhere around his feet. "He's not dead, is he?"

The redheaded woman quickly shook her head, much to his relief. "God no, nothing that extreme!"

"Then what?" he asked, his body relaxing a little. Now that he knew Phineas was fine, he figured he could handle whatever his sister had to say.

"Well," Candace paused for a moment, turning her head up to look at him. Her eyes were worried and frowning. "You're not going to like this, Ferb..."

OoO

CLIFF HANGER! I AM SO SORRY.

Blame Ashlee for that. She wrote the plan.

But anyway, I am so so sorry for the long wait.

Just a heads up, BALJEET IS COMING BACK VERY SOON! I AM EXCITED. BEYOND EXCITED.

Review? Reviewers get heart shaped cookies. HEART SHAPED COOKIES!