Chapter 5
In the wash racks, Optimus pressed his servos against the wall, leaning forward as the spray sent streaks down his plating. On one hand, he was very fond of the Vehicon's character. Selflessness, bravery, endurance, intellect, everything he would want in a potential Autobot. And on the other hand, the Vehicon was creating wants in him he hadn't had before. There was a protectiveness that extended to the both of them, he wanted Karl safe for both Karl's sake and for his own contentment, for what it would do to him if anything happened. He wanted his presence, to have him in sight, to hear his voice. And there were other things that he would not even indulge in the thought of. Those things, he would not pursue. He turned down the temperature and let the water run cold over him until the remainder of the dirt had run down the drain.
A short while later Optimus returned with his composure restored. He stood in the entrance way to the sparring room and watched Bumblebee teach Karl how to get out of a choke hold.
"Karl, if you're ready, I can take you to see Ratchet."
Karl had known it was coming - the dream he'd long since given up on, and he still didn't fully know why the Autobots were attempting to grant it to him. The possibility of finding out was just one more incentive to survive the operation. He wasn't completely ready, but when it came to major surgery, he didn't think anyone ever was.
He nodded his helm. "I'm ready."
As they walked, Optimus wished that one of the more talkative of his comrades had been present as well, something to break the insufferable silence. When they were almost to the medical bay, he finally managed to speak.
"Are you nervous?"
Karl half-shrugged. "I've been in and out of our med bay so often, our medic is sick of me. It's nothing really new."
It was only a partial truth. Scans and systems checks were worlds away from surgery, and surgery by an unfamiliar medic in an enemy base at that. And besides, there was something else on his processor.
There was no denying that Optimus, along with Bumblebee, had been good to him. The possibility of offlining on the operating berth was very real...if it truly came to that, Karl wanted to say something that at least acknowledged these final cycles. Even if he had been suspicious of every kindness shown to him, he wanted them to know it was appreciated.
"Hey, um...I just want you to know."
The central room was before them, the med bay just beyond. Karl said the only thing he could possibly think of.
"...Thanks."
"You're welcome," Optimus said, not sure exactly what he was being thanked for, nor wanting to question him.
They stepped inside the medical bay and Optimus turned to Ratchet. "So what have you determined, and what course of action should we take?"
Ratchet looked up from his computer and across the empty med berth. A wide array of surgical tools were laid out on a table beside it. "The best news we could have hoped for, really. I've been able to rule out any other malfunctions that could increase the odds of complications." He straightened out the laser scalpel's positioning, neatly. "If you're still willing, we can perform the surgery right now."
It wasn't the same as improving his odds altogether, but Karl was prepared to take it. "Willing if you are." He climbed onto the med berth when Ratchet indicated him to do so, steeling his processor the way he always did before a difficult mining dig. Long ago, he'd used the same technique before a dangerous mission.
Optimus wished there were some way he could comfort Karl, but there was nothing to be done that would be appropriate, so he contained himself. At the very least, he could be here when Karl slipped into stasis.
The thick cable was attached to Karl's chestplate, quickly connecting with his systems. He heard the chime of stasis being induced and watched the room begin to swim, his visual feed of Optimus along with it.
"Not...not so bad, really..."
His voice was heavy and slow, but there was a disoriented smile behind it. When he offlined his visor in an attempt to clear his vision, it did not light up again.
Optimus settled on the far end of the medical bay, out of the way of Ratchet's equipment. Despite the medic's insistence that the surgery would be long and that Optimus should find something else to occupy his time, he couldn't get himself to leave. He watched as the Vehicon's plating was folded open, undone at the hinges, marveling at Ratchet's coordination and speed of hand as he replaced wires and circuitry. At some points he was even working blindly, with long prongs buried out of the line of sight into Karl's still chassis.
Three hours later Ratchet closed the Vehicon up and undid the stasis cable to let him come online. Karl's visor didn't blink online and Optimus could only assume that it was like onlining from regular recharge, and wasn't an instant process unless provoked. So he came closer and quietly asked, "How do you think it went?"
The lights of Ratchet's scanner were passing over Karl's frame one last time, verifying that his signals were all normal. Evidently satisfied with what he saw, the medic switched it off. "The line's reopened and everything seems to be flowing correctly. We won't know for sure until he tests it." He began to sterilize his tools and put them away, never one to take chances on an alien world - or off it, for that matter.
"He'll come online soon, but you should have time to stretch your actuators, if you want."
He didn't say it aloud, but the implication was clear. In no way did he foresee Optimus leaving the room to stretch anything.
Optimus nodded in acknowledgement as he approached the table. Karl looked as if nothing had happened to him, no signs of any kind of surgery or intrusion on his mechanics. "I have delayed asking the question," Optimus confided in Ratchet, "but if his weapons system comes online, it will have to be asked and answered without delay. I am… apprehensive about it."
"That was the gamble we took in operating," said the older mech. To the outside world, there may have been no reason to ever be concerned about Optimus, but Ratchet always was. If it came down to firing on the Vehicon, or sending him out into the desert to face Megatron's wrath, he feared the impact left on his leader. Even if the pain never made it to the surface. "Even without his weapons system, I don't think it would be wise to delay asking any longer."
"I will ask him during the next opportunity," Optimus said, closing his optics. And there it was, the question set in stone for the imminent future, one which might as well include a 'goodbye'. He looked over at Ratchet who was facing away from them, busy returning his supplies to the designated areas. With a moment to himself, Optimus brushed his thumb against Karl's small servo.
One by one, Karl's sensors began to reboot. There wasn't much pain, only an overall sense of weakness that made him want to curl up beneath a tarp and slip back into recharge. Just as his short term memory banks were reloading, reminding him of where he was, he felt the touch of something against his servo. It was enough to make him push his visual feed online.
Optimus pulled his servo away when he felt the Vehicon shift. When he looked up at him Karl's visor had lit, and he couldn't be sure if he'd seen. With nothing to do about it, he put it out of his mind. "Welcome back. Are you in need of anything?"
"No, I'm fine. Thanks..." Karl sat up, putting the touch to the side of his processor; he would think about it later, if it had even existed at all. Gingerly, he pressed his right side, just above his t-cog. "How did it...how did it go?"
Optimus knew it was now or never. "Well you are alive, first and foremost. As for the results, Ratchet has told me you will need to test it to see. But," Optimus added quickly, "You must resist for a while longer." He turned to Ratchet. "I have to apologize for asking you to leave your own medical bay. As you have said, this cannot be delayed."
Ratchet simply nodded, exiting the room quietly and leaving Optimus to his task. Karl watched him go, all the while attempting to clear his processor for whatever came next. Evidently, it involved more than just resting.
Optimus looked at Karl with sincerity. "I'm sorry to put this upon you so suddenly, and I see now that it should have been asked before. But now that there is a chance that your weapons system may be functional, it can wait no longer." Optimus vented a breath and stepped closer. "In the short time that you have been here, I have been surprised one time after the next at your strength of character… and I… would be honored if you would stay and take up the title of an Autobot. You would be given fair status among the others and would be trained to your highest potential. You would be watched after by all of us, as we do for each other. As your leader, you would be guided to the best of my ability, and without fear of punishment for mistakes. As your leader I would risk my life on your behalf. But until you make your decision, if your weapons system is indeed functional, it is my duty to my comrades to keep you in stasis cuffs until you decide. If you choose to stay, you will be welcomed and eventually exposed to important Autobot intelligence, which is why your decision must be permanent. If you choose to leave, you will be safely returned to the energon mine and will not be contacted by us again."
Optimus felt his fear increase over Karl's response and quickly added to what he had to say. "Karl," he said almost too tenderly, "I beg you to take your time on this decision."
"Strength of my character," Karl mused. "I just wish you could get to know the other Vehicons. If you realized how strong some of them were, how hard they work, how much they care about everyone but themselves." And he uttered a brief sound that was not quite a laugh. "You'd never offer me something like that."
A sense of deja vu had come over him; in his memory banks, he was waking up in the sick bay with Knock Out beside him, monitoring his vitals and baring terrible news. The pain had still been fresh when Starscream ushered him off to the energon mines, half-heartedly assuring him that there was still hope, and that he could still provide an important service for the entire Decepticon army...a sentiment that had carried him through his work and stayed with him now.
"It's not that I don't appreciate the offer. Mech to mech, I don't have anything personal against you, not anymore. But these guys are everyone I've ever known. I couldn't switch sides and learn to build my life around offlining them."
Optimus' optics had fallen as Karl spoke, hope falling with them. But when Karl concluded, Optimus' brow plating drew together. But he resisted defending the Autobots. Even if he had not built his life around offlining the Vehicons, it would seem that way to one. "Perhaps the gap is too large for us to ever understand one another. But you must know that I am not looking at the accomplishments of your comrades, I am looking at you. That you can recognize them for what they have done only adds to who you are, and what I think of you. If you could see what I see, you would not belittle yourself."
Optimus felt his own mortality weighing heavily on his shoulders. He had one life to live, and the childish dream of Karl staying finally crumbled out of his future. Desperation and foolishness overcame him. He lifted Karl's servo and kissed it. And as quickly as he did so, he let him go and walked out of the medical bay.
Karl sat alone, listening to the hum of the machines, the steady beep of monitors all around. It all seemed too clean and predictable for what had just happened - too real to compare with the place where Optimus's kiss lay on his servo. Of all the things he'd been suspecting, only one had proved true, and it was the one that had terrified him the most.
He knew that he had to leave now, or else he never would.
For what seemed the thousandth time, the Vehicon listened to the sounds of pedes growing fainter.
He wanted so desperately to follow them; his spark felt as though it already had.
Ratchet stepped into the lab, his features slightly less severe after what he'd heard. "Come on, it's time for you to go home." He turned back and stepped over to the controls, and finally opened it. "I'm not sending you to the mine," he called across the room, "there's too much of a risk someone will run back through, and as you can see I have no backup. Ground-level below the Nemesis will have to do. From what I see they aren't moving. There's no chance that Soundwave will miss you." The ground bridge came to life and he gestured to it. "Whenever you're ready."
When he'd first been captured, Karl would have given anything to see that swirling vortex of light that led to home. It would have looked like an old friend standing in the sun, holding out a servo to lift him from where he lay. He clung to the hope that maybe, once he stepped through and made his way to his quarters, it would feel that way again.
"Yeah, I'm ready." He stood gingerly, but the post-stasis weakness was already leaving him. He looked at Ratchet, suddenly wishing he had a mouth to smile; just half a smile to leave on. "Sorry we started out the way we did...you really gave me my life back."
Ratchet looked disgruntled from the complement. "Don't thank me yet, you haven't tested it. And take care of yourself… for Optimus' sake."
Hearing the name of the Autobot leader brought a painful twist to Karl's spark, reducing his reply to a shallow nod. As he stepped on through the ground bridge, he chanced one last look at the Autobot base; its fluorescent lighting and the dust motes on the air, the way all the edges seemed soft.
Then he turned and continued walking, as fast as he could, until the bridge fell away and the landscape began again. Even though the Nemesis was hovering directly overhead, for that first, brief moment, it was not the sight that greeted Karl by filling the entirety of his vision.
There was only desert.
To be continued.