So, this story kind of feels like it's writing itself right now, and it's rained all weekend(( I retreat to my happy place!

Thanks for the review, alerts and favourites, especially my frequent reviewers such as A True Dreamer, Thicket of Kisses 87 and JaneA0202 and everyone else! Since this is my first story it's great to get some feedback, and also helps me to shape where I want to take the story.

So, Klaroline is kind of on a slow burn, and the build up/obstacles could go on for a while, so let me know if you think it's time they just together already!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Vampire Diaries or any of it's characters (sadly).

The next morning after a night of tossing and turning, Caroline found herself in front of the mirror brushing her hair. Staring at herself, she took a deep breath. She looked fine, thanks to being a vampire, but her expression was defeated and faded, so unlike herself.

She looked critically at the bright sunlight in the garden and tried to plan how she was going to leave. After last night, she didn't know why he'd want her here, except that he might think she'd run to Stefan and Damon immediately. They seemed at a strange impasse. She was pretty sure he wouldn't hurt her, and he was pretty confident she wouldn't risk it.

She slipped on her own shorts and top, leaving Rebekah's clothes in a pile on a chair, and the blue dress hanging in the wardrobe. Sorting herself in the mirror, she found an odd lump sticking out her pocket. Wriggling her fingers in she pulled out a bottle. It was pale grey smoked glass, with a teardrop stopper, and silver scroll work running up the sides. It was elegant and beautiful, and inside a clear liquid shone in the light. She stood studying it for a little while, wondering who might have put it there. Carefully opening the bottle she sniffed at the stopper – stifling a gasp as it shot through her senses like acid.

Vervain.

Who'd left it and why? She thought about where it had been hidden, in her clothes. It seemed like the work of her secret helper. Rebekah. For some reason, Rebehak wasn't finished helping her, though she considered if this really was helping. Klaus must be planning on erasing her memories of him being alive... and isn't that exactly what she wanted? To forget all the embarrassment, disappointment and sadness she felt over the last few weeks. To erase him from her head and her heart. Like everything she'd said to him last night, if she truly believed there was no hope for them, no way to reconcile the man she had fallen in love with and the monster who had almost destroyed her life, then what was the point in suffering with those memories.

A fresh start...

He heard her coming downstairs as he studied a book sitting in the study. He hadn't taken a word in, but merely been waiting for her to find her ring and leave. He prepared himself for what needed to be done. He couldn't have her telling the Salvatores before he was ready for them. Standing he made his way to the hall to intercept her. She was dressed in the same clothes she'd arrived in, and her simple beauty and fragility, though he knew what strength it hid, took his breath away.

"Caroline." he acknowledged, coming to stand in front of her.

"Look, let's not drag this out any further." She held a hand out in front of her, warding him off.

"You gave me my ring back, I assume that means you're letting me leave. I don't think we have anything else to say to each other." her eyes were stubbornly downcast, and he longed to see her mouth curve in a smile, anything to shake that coldness from her features.

"Caroline" he said again, in a deep and commanding tone, that brought her chin up slightly, she met his eyes, and he immediately turned on his compulsion. Holding his breath, he felt his palms go damp as he spoke

"Caroline, are you listening to me?"

"Yes" her reply was automatic and pliable. Letting out the breath, he felt the air slither out his chest, and thought how this was just another despicable act to add to the list of wrongs she had against him.

He felt it then, the power he had over her. It was heady and tempting... the temptation was so overwhelming it almost choked him. There she was in front of him, everything he wanted, at his will to command, ripe for the picking. He imagined kissing her, holding her... and he imagined never quite knowing if she ever would have chosen him. That's the thing about love. There was no substitute for someone else choosing you of their own volition. Yes, he was selfish, and he'd always taken what he wanted from the world. He wondered why this was any different? But it was...

"You haven't seen me. I am dead. I died when Alaric staked me. You have been visiting family and now you're going home. You have spent the last few weeks with Tyler and it's been great." his voice had faded to a whisper by the end.

"It's been great" she repeated.

"You are happy and you feel like everything is going to be OK in your life. You will forget that we ever spent any time together. Forget everything you've ever felt for me, until my name only evokes the slightest stirring of a memory." he could stop himself from touching her for the last time, once again tracing the familiar path with his fingers along her jaw, brushing her silken hair back.

"I will forget us" she confirmed. He felt his heart deflate.

"Be happy" he pressed a kiss onto her forehead, suddenly finding breathing a little difficult. She stood still, staring at him. It hurt his heart to see that blank look in her eyes.

Guiding her out the door, he instructed her to drive carefully and forget everything as she arrived home.

"Goodbye Caroline" he whispered, leaning against the closed door, hearing the car pull away from the drive. He went upstairs and lingered outside the door. Funny, in a matter of days, he had started thinking of it as her room, and the feeling it gave him knowing she was in there. So close...opening the door he went in. The room smelled of her so much it was like a kick to the stomach. He looked at the made bed, nothing left except her scent to remember her by. He went to the bed and stroked the pillow, slowly raising it to his face he inhaled gently. He felt a low growl gather in his throat - his wolf side responding on it's most primal level. His eyes scanned the surfaces of the room, not seeing what he was looking for. Wandering into the bathroom, he saw it, sitting beside the sink.

The sparkling liquid inside the grey glass seemed to mock him.

She'd made her choice. He thought his own eyes seemed to be pitying him from the mirror... had he really thought she would chose to remember him? He had wanted to give her that choice. And if she didn't want to remember him, their time together... he would take that pain away. It would be her choice.

He wanted to show her he could be selfless too... but the ironic thing is that she'd never know.

Her mother listened to her chattering about her trip for a full 5 minutes before she got called into the station and Caroline was home alone.

Changing out of her disgusting clothes, opting to throw them away rather than wash them, she kicked them under her bed and sat at her dressing table and checked her messages. When you didn't have a cell phone for a few days you forgot how good it felt to be able to contact people so instantly.

Scrolling through her messages, she jumped when the phone suddenly rang.

"Bonnie! God, I missed speaking to you so much! What's the news? I've been totally out of it" Caroline moved around her room listening to her best friend's voice on the other end.

"Sure. Lunch will be great. 1p.m at The Grill? Cool, see you soon." she hung up satisfied.

Pulling open her makeup drawer, she started to line her eyes, and put mascara on. Dressing for the warm weather in a white sundress and sandals she put her lip gloss in her handbag. Pulling out her bedside drawer she grabbed her sunglasses and perched them on her head.

Putting her hand back inside the drawer, she pulled out the picture of her and the horse, she looked at it silently.

Reaching down she pulled a crinkled parchment sheet out of her old shorts. Smoothing the beautiful picture out, she placed it alongside the other he'd drawn for her, and closed the drawer.

Grabbing her keys, she headed out the door, thinking grimly that Bonnie was going to get more than she was expecting for lunch.

She grabbed an outside table at the Grill to take advantage of the sun and waited for her friend. The street was bustling and sunshine made her spirits rise. She ordered an iced tea sipped it slowly as she went over the past few days in her head. The last few minutes with Klaus had changed things . He basically wanted her to forget he was alive, which was obvious, and he had also attempted to remove her memories of their time together, her feelings for him. He didn't want her to care about him it seemed. Which was odd considering all the effort he'd been going to to impress and romance her. The only explanation she could come up with was that he had done it for her. He knew she'd never accept her feelings, so he'd taken that conflict away from her. She remembered his eyes as she'd cried at his feet, they were tormented. She wasn't exactly sure how she felt about that, but it did make her see him a little differently. Maybe he was capable of thinking about others... maybe...

"Hi!" Bonnie announced, coming up behind her and hugging her shoulders.

"Hello you." Caroline replied as she watched Bonnie settle down in a chair opposite and order an iced coffee.

"So, how was your trip? Tyler said you were away for a few days." Bonnie busied herself playing with the ice in her coffee with her straw.

"Oh did he really? Did he say where?" she asked casually, trying to judge what Bonnie was thinking. Bonnie kept her head lowered and made a face like she was trying to remember.

"Your aunt's I think he said."

"Hmmm" she said noncommittally, sipping her drink.

"How's it going with you guys anyway?" the question was painfully nonchalant, and Caroline struggled not to show anything unusual.

"Hmmm, not so great actually." Caroline said quietly, causing Bonnie to raise her head and look at her with concern.

"What's wrong?"

"Tyler is just... different. It feels like the past few weeks never happened. I think we kind of... broke up." she said, watching Bonnie's reaction from under her lashes.

"Oh Caroline" Bonnie scooted right round the table and put her arms around her friend's shoulders. So, she wasn't surprised then, she must have spoke to Tyler. Suddenly she felt Bonnie stiffen as she looked up the street.

"Oh god, let's go sit inside." Caroline noted the urgency in Bonnie's voice and followed her gaze. There she was, walking along without a care in the world, Rebekah, and she'd already seen them, and was heading in their direction.

"Caroline, Bonnie" Rebekah said, almost warmly "Do you mind?" she asked, sitting down immediately, she leaned on the table and spoke,

"I have something to ask you guys. It's about Matt. He's still so upset with me about Elena, he won't even speak to me. You guys are his friends, can't you... you know... put in a good word and all that?" she attracted the attention of a waiter and ordered a Bloody Mary.

Silence fell on the table, as Caroline and Bonnie tried to think of what to say.

"You can't really blame him Rebekah, you killed Elena. She's a vampire because of you." Bonnie accused nervously

Rebekah waving her hand dismissively,

"We all know Stefan or Damon would have turned her eventually, once she chooses one of them. She's always safe now. Just think if one of them had had the nerve to do it when my brother first got to town, how different everything would have turned out."

"Your brother threatened to kill everyone Elena cared about if they did." Caroline reminded her lightly.

"Yeah, but.. really... how many died anyway? Practically everyone he could have harmed ended up dead anyway so..." Rebekah trailed off and licked her lips,

"This is bloody good, you guys should have one." She held out her glass to each of them, shrugging when they refused, then went on,

"So, I missed the epic goodbye this morning. Sorry about your ring by the way, I didn't think for a second you wouldn't realise it was gone, I just thought it would stop you from even thinking about leaving. I guess you were too distracted..." she smirked, and Caroline repressed a smile, she could sense Bonnie having a heart attack beside her.

Bonnie suddenly pushed her chair out loudly, and stood up.

"Caroline, let's go. I can't eat with her."

"Aw, you didn't seem to mind me so much just a few days ago." Rebekah said breezily. "My brother says thanks by the way." and with that she smiled positively wickedly at Bonnie. Finishing her drink, she stood up lazily and grinned at Caroline.

"I hope you'll come around soon. Nik is positively heartbroken at your absence."

"The compulsion..." Caroline began, and Rebekah interrupted,

"He won't hear about it from me. Nik's always gotten away without his fair share of pay back." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and sauntered off down the street.

"Caroline-" Bonnie was still standing, clutching the edge of the table.

"Why don't you sit down?" Caroline invited magnanimously

"What's happening?" she asked shakily, perching on the edge of her seat. Caroline patted her hand and said,

"Why don't we start at the beginning... I know my version, but I'm super interested in hearing yours. Plus why the hell you thought it was a good idea to lie to me"

Several iced coffees later Bonnie had managed to get up to the part where Tyler had called her just this morning and informed her that they were breaking up, Caroline didn't know anything except that Klaus was alive and that he had promised to remove her memories of that. Bonnie had to go over there later to work out an insurance policy to convince him that Damon and Stefan wouldn't desiccate him.

"But... he didn't compel you?" Bonnie asked, exhausted from confessing the nightmare month.

"No, he thinks he did though. But Rebekah gave me Vervain so it wouldn't work, at least, I think she did, I'll have to ask her"

"So she's like... your friend now?" Bonnie asked sceptically.

"I'm not sure, I've been running low on genuine friends lately." Caroline said cuttingly.

"Don't say that! You know you're my best friend, I did all of this so that you would be safe, you, Tyler, my mum... and maybe Elena... we're not sure about that one."

"I get that Bonnie, but how could you let me think he was Tyler? Don't you see how sick that is?" she cried, her voice rising at the end.

"I didn't have a choice. It takes dark magic to do that kind of spell. No one would've approved if they'd known. And it was Klaus's only condition. I never would have lied if I had thought he would overstep his bounds. And he didn't right?" Bonnie urged hopefully.

"Well, that depends what you mean. He barely touched me, if that's what you saying..." Caroline trailed off.

"So..."

"So! There are other ways to overstep bounds Bonnie. You know what I mean. You know how happy I was... he did that. Don't you see... it's almost worst." silence played out after that statement and Bonnie looked at her friend, seeing her indecision and how this revelation had turned her heart upside down.

"Do you love him?" She asked quietly, watching a bitter smile twist her friend's lips.

"Can you love someone and hate them at the same time?" Caroline asked.

"Yes. At least I think you can."

"Well... I guess I'm really in trouble then." The eyes she lifted to Bonnie's were shiny with unshed tears, and Bonnie grabbed her friend's hand and squeezed it hard.

"Caroline, do not beat yourself up about how you feel. It's not your fault. It's mine. I put you in this situation. You never would have let him get so close intentionally."

"But don't you see... He made me feel... special... not getting to know him wouldn't change that... not knowing how someone can make you feel... living without ever meeting that person. Is it better?" Caroline looked at her fingers as she spoke. Bonnie considered the best way to phrase what she wanted to say next.

"Well, would you ever give him a chance?" Caroline looked up at her in alarm

"Just hear me out. He isn't after Elena anymore. None of us have really anything to gain by hurting each other anymore. He cares about you... People would understand."

"No they wouldn't. He's done awful things. He's too... selfish. He can't be redeemed"

"Right, and how about Stefan and Damon? Elena doesn't seem to have a problem with their dark sides, or worried that we won't understand. Forgiveness is natural Caroline, and it's part of your humanity, and you shouldn't lose it. And redemption, it's always possible, as long as someone wants it enough "

Bonnie watched emotions chase across Caroline's face and realised what her friend was feeling.

"You're scared aren't you? What you felt with him. It's that kind of earth shattering, soul destroying love that either creates you or destroys you."

Caroline smiled at her friend and blew out her breath.

"See the problem. How can you let someone you don't trust have that kind of power over you?" They both sat and considered the hopelessness of that question for a while, before Bonnie took Caroline's hand again and looked at her,

"I'm so sorry for lying to you. For deceiving you, you're so important to me Caroline."

"It's OK, well, it's so not OK, but I understand why you felt you had , the real blame in this whole thing belongs with one person. And I intend to make sure he gets what's coming to him."

Bonnie smiled and asked curiously,

"How are you going to do that?"

"With a little help" Caroline smiled.