Author's Note: Thank you for all the reviews, favorites and follows. A very special thank you to Roni, for giving her time to Beta for me.

Realize

Chapter 8

It had taken years. Trying to count out how many was too complex, but it was years before he had finally hugged her. That thought continued haunting her and swirling in her mind. Jack had always described her as cold and incapable of being loved - perhaps he was right. After all, it had taken only a few days for Andy to launch into Abby's arms for a pair of baseball tickets. She had hidden behind her closed office door and submerged herself in her work, acted as if she was fine. Her sister was in bed when she had arrived home the previous night and Sharon returned to the murder room before Abby had woken up—she was grateful, because it had become increasingly more challenging to hide everything that she was feeling. To mask her jealously and the disappointment in herself. Her sister was winning the heart of the man who had stolen hers and she could only blame herself. She had said never. Andy was not to blame, she was icy, difficult to love and had pushed him away.

Sharon pulled her grey sweater tighter around herself and looked out at the city lights. The skyline had been the first reason she had fallen in love with the condo. Sitting out in the balcony was the only place which allowed her to clear her mind. She scanned to see if she could miraculously find the Dodgers Stadium, knowing well enough that it was impossible. Abby was out there with him, at a game, on a date, and she had lost him before she even had him. The glass was raised to her lips and she took a long sip of her red wine and closed her eyes when the breeze brushed against her skin.

It was a cold night, she wore her blue trench coat, but it hung open, hands in her pockets as they walked up the dirt path. The crickets chirping, the soft whistle of the wind and the ruffling of tree leaves and branches were singing their own music. She looked over at her companion and smiled when he titled his head back pointing up the hill with his chin and promised it was just a few more steps. Then placed his hand on the small of her back and led her to the bench up at the edge of the small cliff. He let her take a seat first before he joined her.

Andy knew she would love the view. She talked about her balcony constantly, how she got lost in the serenity. So when her eyes lit up with amazement and she exhaled a long breath, he knew this was the best choice. Sharon had asked him to take her somewhere to clear her thoughts and he knew this would be the place. Her elbows went to rest against the back of the bench and she leaned back to look up at the night sky.

They sat in the silence of the night, only enjoying what nature had to offer and each other's company. He knew it was Stroh that was consuming her. She was becoming thinner and regularly skipped eating with the team, instead locking herself inside her office. The files remained laid out along the desk, day-after-day. When he knocked on her office door, the smile she offered was slowly disappearing. She was fading. Yet it was the last thing she needed to hear now. He had brought her up here for some distraction.

"You know anything about the planets, stars, constellations?" Andy asked looking over at her with the intention of continuing with some of his own knowledge. However, washed in the silvery blue glow of the moon, she was breathtaking and he lost his concentration. The soft illumination created shadows on her porcelain skin, shadows which Andy traced and swept over each detail with his eyes. It would be easy to reach out and caress her skin; it was incredibly enticing, but the fallout, he was not sure they could make it through the aftermath.

Her lips pursed and she spoke softly, "The twinkling lights are the stars and the solid ones are planets. I know some names, but not much else. And I can hardly point them out." She turned her head and looked at him smiling at her.

He's handsome, she recognized. Her heart fluttered, because she had been thinking about it for some time now—how his gestures, his smile, the way he dressed, and his black and white peppered hair all caught her attention whenever he walked into a room. Nonetheless, it was also more than that, the man's presence sent a sensation through her entire body, a warmth she couldn't find anywhere else. They held each other's gaze until he broke it by reaching for one side of her coat. She glanced down at his hand as he tugged it closed.

"If I can point out one planet tonight, do I get a question?" Sharon looked up at him again and he was grinning. His hand slipped away, his fingers accidently brushing against the silk of her shirt.

She shook her head as she gazed at the sky again. "You could have googled it." She said quickly. Then broke the silence again when curiosity got the best of her. "Alright, one planet for one question."

Andy shifted, suddenly grateful for his father's crazy knowledge. He had dozed off during their camping and fishing trips, but had retrieved the basics. His hand went up quickly and pointed out the first planet he saw. "Saturn."

Sharon smiled and shook her head again, "How do I know you are not lying?" Then her teeth grazed her bottom lip, trying to keep from grinning.

"You'll just have to believe me." He teased.

She tilted her head back a bit more gazing up at the planet he had just pointed out. Her neck was elongated and her hair flowed back and moved to the rhythm of the breeze. He could imagine it to be as soft as it looked. It was another temptation of his. She hummed and turned to face him, the light wind brushing her hair into her face, but she smiled through it.

"Alright, what is your question?"

Andy grinned and shifted in his spot, the excitement evident on his face. She watched as he inched closer to her, ready to tease him about getting cold and needing body heat, but then he spoke.

It was hesitant but determined, "First love."

She could see that the question had been brewing within him for a long time. Yet it wasn't a question but a statement. He was giving her a chance to back out.

"You sure you want to waste it on that? It's not a very exciting answer." Her eyes drifted over the skyline and he noticed some nostalgia cross her features.

"Waste?" He frowned, then winced. He never wished to recall something that brought back bad memories or upset her. Then Jack came to his mind and he wondered.

"Was it Jack?" He asked nervously.

She didn't look surprised, only shook her head, a small smile reaching her lips. "No, I can understand why you thought so." He swallowed the knot in his throat, hoping he hadn't overstepped. "Actually, his name was David. He swept me off my feet." She looked down and played with the buttons of her jacket, recalling those few months of joy she had spent with him. Then she remembered she wasn't alone. Sharon's words got caught in her throat, as Andy's eyes met hers, she knew he wasn't waiting for an explanation. Instead she said, "He would have beat you at this planet gazing." She pointed up at the sky, then pushed her hair behind her ears looking away from him.

He liked knowing that there was something that could bring that smile to her face. Her history didn't only include her ex-husband.

"Yeah?" He asked curiously

She pondered for a second, running her fingers through her hair, and flashed one of those beautiful smiles that made the Lieutenant's heart flutter, before she nodded and continued, "He liked to camp, nature. This, it was his element." They both looked around the hill - nothing but nature.

"What happened?" It slipped from his lips before he could stop himself.

"Oh no, you got your answer to your one question. That will have to be for another time." She smiled at him before sighing and staring out in the distance.

Andy contemplated her answer, she was slightly defensive. Her refusal to respond was more than just because of this game they played. Aside from the smile that reached her face, there was something hidden in the depths of her eyes. It was a past she wasn't ready to share.

They spent several more minutes in the quiettill she asked if they were ready, and they started walking together side by side, hands grazing and shoulders bumping, but in complete silence. They stopped at the bottom of the hill where they had parked their cars andshe fidgeted with her keys.

"I'm sorry about going quiet back there." She smiled at him and beeped her car open. "Thank you for bringing me here." She looked up at the hill and something new overcame him.

He stepped forward and pulled her in for a gentle hug. Andy's breath brushed against her cheek as their arms wrapped around one another. It was not awkward or unexpected. Neither was it the first time she felt vastly thankful for the man's presence in her life. However, as she closed her eyes it was not the body warmth but everything she felt inside. Almost as if they should have always been that way.

She opened her eyes lifting the glass, it was cold against her lips, but she took a small sip. The familiar burn ran down her throat. It had been too long since she had someone who she could trust. A person who had proven they were interested in her company as a friend. Then, after everything, waited for her with no expectations. Andy had promised her he would be by her side and he had not broken that, not for an instant, and it reminded her every day how much he did for her; the constant support that he offered. Somewhere amidst all of it, it had turned into much more. The idea of falling in love with someone had long ago been pushed to the back of her mind. After her life with Jack it was an unpleasant thought and seemed impossible. But Andy filled her with happiness, joy that she never expected, that had blindsided her. She was losing him. If she had not already lost him.

Andy slipped into the booth with a pint of beer and a glass of his usual, cranberry juice and soda. He slid the beer across the brown table top and sat back.

"You showed up." Provenza called over the noisy bar scene. The space was filled with officers, some retired and some off the clock.

Andy rolled his eyes feeling slightly exasperated. "I told you I was on my way." If he had his choice he wouldn't have come at all, but driven home, showered and dropped into his bed.

"How'd it go?" The older Lieutenant inquired, gulping down the drink. His face was rosy - a signal that he had had several beverages already. He would stop him after the current drink and would take him home to Patrice before he was slurring and stumbling.

"We lost." Andy stated.

Provenza frowned and looked around the bar while pointing his finger around the room. "Yes, the twelve televisions told us that. How about the rest of it?" He waved his arm trying to pull the words out of him.

Andy looked at him confused, then it dawned on him. He was wearing the familiar grin, hoping for some hook up story or a wild afternoon tale. "Abigail?" He questioned a bit annoyed.

The older man grinned. "Tell me you…" He began to make an inappropriate gesture.

Andy put up a hand and shook his head. "Stop, don't even say it. She's the boss's sister."

There was silence between them, Andy took a drink. Provenza reached for a peanut and it crunched between his fingers before he popped it into his mouth and pushed the shells aside into the messy pile that formed on the table.

"Is the problem that she's the bosses sister or that she's Sharon's sister?" Andy squinted as Provenza kept his questioning eyes on him.

"That's the same thing. I think you've had enough there." Andy reached for the older man's glass.

Provenza pushed his hand away with a grumpy growl. "Start talking or I'm ordering another." He practically shouted.

Andy sighed and sat back. "She's not much of a sports fan." He began, "but we had a great time."

"So?" The old man said upset, mostly because of the lack of information. "Have you not seen her? Any man in here…" Provenza started waiving his hand at the many officers.

"Hey!" Andy said slightly offended. The woman was indeed attractive and he had no doubt if she walked into the bar at this moment, she would be surrounded and would have her choice for a date. But she was also intelligent, funny and kind; there was more to her than what his friend expressed. She deserved more respect.

"Okay," Provenza said apologetically. "But what did you think? She was going to rid herself of her heels and ruin her nice hair for a cap?" Provenza started pushing up from his seat and Andy followed, laying down a few dollars for a tip before walking to the door with his friend.

Running twenty minutes late was not how he expected to meet her, but the case had dragged on. He arrived at the stadium only to find Abby already in their seats. The diamond earrings and heels had surprised him, but most unanticipated was that they were alone in their box. Unusual, he told her, but she had simply waved it off and said her friend hardly used it. She followed along on parts of the game, but others he had to explain. It never bothered him, because he could see that her interest was genuine. She smiled brightly when he cheered. Her sweet antic of twirling her earring between her fingertips and her leg bobbing as it crossed over the other had him conscious of his admiring her. During half time, they talked about music, dancing, his sobriety and more about her deceased husband. They watched the entire game and just enjoyed each other's company.

"She doesn't like Dodger Dogs." Andy said sinking into his seat when they finally climbed into the car. His friend looked over at him in confusion.

"They aren't the best seats." Andy voiced embarrassed when he saw how far they actually were from the field.

"Andrew Flynn, they are wonderful seats." He watched as Sharon shifted in her seat, holding a grilled Dodger Dog in one hand and placing her Styrofoam cup in the cup holder with the other. Amazed he saw as she bit into the oversized hotdog, then licked away the ketchup with the tip of her tongue from the corner of her mouth.

He took a drink from his cup before clearing his throat. "I never pitched you for a hot dog eater."

"Are you kidding me? I practically lived here for about seven years, with Ricky." She looked around the stadium, he could see the memories coming back to her as she smiled. She tilted her head up to the opposite direction in the distance. "We were sitting there when he caught a homerun ball." Her smile illuminated with wistfulness. "We made as many home games as we possibly could. I was raised on football and basketball, so I bought one of those "Baseball for Dummies" books and learned the basics. At first the game was for Ricky and these were for me." She lifted the hotdog. "I learned to love the team in the process and ended up becoming a loyal fan." She finished her sentence by taking another bite through a smile. "You?" She asked after she swallowed.

He reached over and wiped her chin where some relish lingered. His finger brushed the edge of her lip, sending a different type of thrill through her. When he looked at her apologetically, she smirked saying thank you.

"I came with my father to every home game, from the age of maybe eight till I was seventeen and I lost my old man." Her lips formed a thin line and he looked around the stadium. "Dodgers is kind of a family thing, any home team really." When the silence tensed she ran her hand along his back. He had shared the tragic story of losing his father before.

"One bite?" She asked holding out the hotdog in front of him just to lighten the mood, even though she knew he didn't eat meat. Her legs crossed and turned at an angle to look at him better and get the sun out of her eyes, she had forgotten her sunglasses in Andy's car.

He chuckled, "Oh no, I'll stick to the nachos." She shrugged her shoulder with one of her rare, playful smiles that made the green of her eyes shine more than usual. Then she picked a chip out of his bowl and let it crunch in her mouth, thenlicked her finger clean of any remaining cheese which made him grin.

When she continued squinting, he removed his cap and placed it on top of her head. Her creased eyes relaxed and she smiled at him. "I'm not giving it back." She licked her lip and his eyes followed the path of her tongue.

Pulling his sunglasses from where they hung on the collar of his shirt, she handed them to him.

"It looks better on you anyway." He slipped on his sunglasses, then tapped the top of her hat playfully, which made them both chuckle.

Sharon turned around to the sound of the sliding door on the balcony opening and smiled up at her sister. She first noticed the light denim skinny jeans, then the form fitted jersey blue shirt and her matching heels.

"Abby, I thought you went to a game?" Sharon frowned.

Her sister sat an empty wine glass down beside the bottle and Sharon's glass. "You know me, I don't go anywhere without my heels on." She slipped out of her shoes and moved into the chair. Then served herself a full glass. "Aren't you cold?" The younger woman asked, shivering a bit.

Sharon released a long breath looking out at the skyline again, "I like it." She took in a breath of the fresh air.

They sat in the silence until Abby turned to her sister. "So, you're not going to ask me how it went?"

She had enjoyed the loneliness and peace as she sat out in the cold. It had slowly numbed what she was feeling and the fresh air had helped her clear her thoughts. It was awful to hide her feelings from her sister, but she looked so remarkably gleeful. Moreover, she was glad she had missed her sister preparing for her day out with Andy. It was a whirlwind of emotions, everything she was feeling clashing together. She was beginning to feel like a piece of fragile porcelain, ready to shatter at any moment.

"Of course." Sharon said apologetically, her voice slightly emotional, but she could blame it on the cold air "How was the game?"

Abby grinned. It didn't take her long to start speaking excitedly. "He's a sweetheart, an absolute sweetheart." Sharon looked away from her sister, her hand clutching the arm of the chair. "You know me and my bad knowledge of baseball, but he was so patient, answering each question I asked." Abigail hummed and swirled the wine in her glass. "Then we talked during half-time and I saw much more than just the handsome silver fox." Sharon gritted her teeth as her sister continued. "His smile, and he smells absolutely delicious. I think…"

Sharon abruptly pushed up, something was coiling in the pit of her stomach and then she suddenly felt the cold of the night rush over her. She promptly grabbed her glass of wine, her hand trembling and ran her other hand through her hair. There was concern etched on her sister's face. "Yeah, Abby, I know." She said dryly before she moved away briskly, not able to hear anymore. "I'm going to bed, make sure you lock the door on your way in." She continued without looking back.

"Shari?" Abby called. But her sister was already inside and the glass door closed between them. She looked out into the night sky and shook her head. Something was definitely not right.