Chapter Eighteen

"It's only a weekend, Dickon. Two days." Mary smiled as Dickon held her close, as if she weren't coming back from her trip with Archibald and Colin.

"I know, but I've already been without tha for so long," he said. "And London…"

Mary understood what was left unsaid, that Dickon was thinking about her life in the city and how different life was there. She felt secure in her love for him but longed to talk with girlfriends and revisit what had become familiar and comfortable ground. London and Misselthwaite – two distinct places, two different worlds and still within the same country. The miles stretched between the sites, each a universe unto itself in Mary's mind. She could almost be separate persons in each; the city and country girl. The smart and quick Mary who dressed in expensive gowns, attended parties, and kept company with people of influence and the natural, grounded and logical Mary who got her hands dirty in the gardens and kept quiet company with family and close friends. She loved both of these personalities and didn't understand how or why she might have to make a choice and in doing so lose one complete part of herself.

Dickon and Mary embraced warmly, saying nothing. This was something she cherished about her relationship with Dickon – no one else knew her like he did. One look or touch conveyed more feeling than a fountain of words.

"Come along, Mary!" called Archie from the foyer.

Mary looked into Dickon's eyes as she promised, "I'll see you Monday, my love."

Dickon leaned down and pressed his lips to hers and tingles flooded her body from head to toe. Mary shivered slightly and gripped him in a tight hug which he returned with equal intensity. Before she could make an excuse to forget the whole trip, Mary rushed out of the room and down the stairs. She met Archibald at the door where he waited and he put his hand on the small of her back to guide her out to the carriage.

Just two days, she told herself. Why did I even agree to this? There's no one I'd rather spend time with than Dickon.

"Are you all right, Mary?" asked Colin as she was seated across from him.

"Fine," she answered a bit breathlessly. "Just excited, I suppose." It was a lie, but she had to tell Colin something or he'd never stop questioning. Archibald had pulled out a newspaper and Mary followed suit by retrieving a pocket book from her bag. She felt Colin's eyes on her as she tried to read and dared not look up to confirm her suspicion. When finally she did sneak a glance, she found him gazing forlornly out the window at the passing scenery. He seemed so very alone.

When they finally reached London, Archie took leave to arrange things with the hotel while Mary and Colin requested to be driven to Mary's old school. They were to meet Archie back at the hotel for tea in just under two hours.

"Are you sure you don't mind coming along?" asked Mary.

"No, not at all. I'd like to see where you spent your formative years." Mary detected a bit of wistfulness on Colin's part as he said this, but she chose to put it aside. They exited the carriage and had not stepped two feet when a stocky blonde girl paraded down the front steps of the school looking for all the world like a Royal. One year Mary's senior, Maisie Langenkamp was already a world traveler and had turned down two marriage proposals. Her nose perpetually tilted upward and despite her short stature she succeeded in looking down at everyone around her. Mary wanted nothing to do with this girl, but Maisie had other ideas.

Much like a gnat that refuses to believe your waving hand is not a greeting, Maisie flitted around, buzzing with her own brand of excitement and drama. Her booming voice reverberated against the stone walls and left Mary's ears ringing.

"Mary! So good to see you again! And who is this?" Maisie eyed Colin for all he was worth.

"Maisie….dear," Mary forced the words from her mouth and tried her best to sound cordial. She turned to Colin. "Colin, this is my friend, Maisie Langenkamp. Maisie, this is my cousin, Colin Craven."

Mary noted Maisie's quirked eyebrow when she deliberately placed Colin in a higher position for introductions and secretly enjoyed that her gesture was not lost on the snobbish girl.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss," said Colin. His eyes shifted to Mary questioningly before quickly kissing the back of Maisie's proffered hand.

"I'm sorry we can't stay and talk, Maisie," Mary said. "Colin just wanted to see where I'd gone to school and we won't be in the city very long. We're just meeting my Uncle down the street a bit…"

"Oh, the girls will miss you if you don't at least come say hello," Maisie countered.

"I might, if time allows. I shall see you again soon, I hope," Mary said and gave Colin a small nudge.

"Ah, yes, it was a pleasure…do have a lovely day."

Mary all but pulled Colin along and walked away from the school as swiftly as she could. It figured that Maisie would be present at school on a weekend. She had family enough but more often than not, no one wanted her to come visiting. Perhaps it was a bad idea after all to even bother going back and seeing her friends…wouldn't letters be sufficient? Such ideas wafted through Mary's mind as she dragged Colin along. To his credit, Colin did not complain or even ask what she was doing until they'd walked four blocks of crowded streets.

"Mary, what was that?"

"Just a girl I really didn't want to see," she replied.

"I take it you don't want to visit the school this weekend?"

"I think for all intents and purposes the past is best left in the past right now."

"Were they all like that one?" he asked curiously.

"No, that one is one of a kind."

"Then why not see the others?"

"Because she will be there and once she knows I'm there as well – believe me, Colin, it's not worth the bother. But let's not allow the trip to be ruined completely." She looked around and spotted a book shop. "Let's go in, come on!" Mary took his hand and they entered the store which smelled a bit musty and little like wet cat fur. The culprit of the latter scent lay curled up on a window seat next to an atlas.

"Oh, how darling!" Mary exclaimed.

Colin shook his head and smiled.

"You can't dislike cats, Colin. It simply isn't done."

"I don't dislike them, I just prefer other animals."

"Dickon says cats are –" Mary caught herself and stopped midsentence. It might have been better to have followed through with her thought as now the words hung in the air between them, begging for attention. "Sorry," she mumbled as a finish.

"Mary, you don't have to do that. Don't pretend he doesn't exist. I know and you know that he's back at the manor waiting for you—rather, pining for you. It's what I would be doing if I were parted from my fiancée for any length of time."

"May I help you?" asked a grey haired man with glasses from behind the counter.

"No, thank you," said Mary. "We were just leaving." She turned and left the shop, not caring whether or not Colin followed her. This trip was a mistake and Colin was right. Dickon was up at the manor thinking about her and wanting to be with her and she had been all but ignoring him. Feelings swirled intensely within her as doubt reared its ugly head. Could she be truly happy with Dickon, or was she trying to fool herself? No, she loved him with all her heart, of that she was certain. But did that mean she would also be happy? Could you love someone and still not be the right person for them?

"Mary!" she heard Colin shout.

Heady with emotion, she bypassed the carriage and walked purposefully all the way to the hotel without once looking back.

A/N I'm back! I know this chapter is really not the best but that's due to my not having worked on this story for YEARS now. I'm still catching up on myself and rereading everything so bear with me as I get back into the writing groove. I'm quite rusty. This story will be complete in a few more chapters and we're heading into Dickon-heavy territory since I've given him short shrift the past few chapters. Thanks for reading! ~ Mena