Kakashi was the first thing to seep into my mind. Sluggishly I opened my eyes to let the irritating rays of the morning sun filter through my bloodshot orbs. I was officially in between what I used to be; I used to be a jubilant ball of sunshine in the morning, looking forward to a day of healing the sick and your companionship. Now I am in between being a morning person and an individual such as yourself, one who detests mornings because your thoughts have preyed upon your mind at night; No I have not stayed up all night because I am obsessed with a certain tangerine or teal novel.
Day twenty-one happened upon me as every other day would, unfortunately. I made my way mechanically through breakfast and a quick shower; There was no spirit inside me, the rice stuck to my mouth as I refused to drink... The note Lady Tsunade sent to me, in reply to my query of where you were, lay upon the counter; Open and untouched since my eyes read its contents.
A messenger bird happened upon the window next to my bed, right next to Mr. Ukki; I picked him up when I realized that going over to your house to water him almost every day was pointless. It was just after 8 a.m when the messenger landed, I was already up. I had been up since the first rays of sunshine climbed their way over the Hokage monument. After reading the letter, I went back to sleep, I couldn't bear going into the office of my master at that moment.
I needed to sleep; I needed to prepare myself for my Lady's response; I needed to go over my question of "Why is Kakashi-sensei so late?" and the answers that she may have had for me. To tell the truth, I was more than scared; I was almost to the point of being terrified. I was so frightened because she routinely answers a lot of my questions through that method due to the insufficient staff numbers at the hospital and the amount of time she needs to spend dedicated to her duties as Hokage; This time she did not answer my question, she called me into her office to answer me face-to-face.
I felt fear because I couldn't possibly believe something happened to you; I felt fear because I knew it was possible for you to be taken down; I felt fear because thoughts and images kept flashing through my mind; I was frightened because I could walk into that office and hear that you were gone; I was frightened because whatever answer she was to give me, there was nothing I could do...it was already decided, no matter how much I procrastinated; I was terrified because I was actually close to you, closer than I had ever been before; I was terrified because I realized that I cared so much more deeply than I thought I did, of course I never wanted you to come to harm, but this time was different.
I decided to walk to the main building instead of run, I was already late so why bother, right? Hands were cold and felt numb, my legs were slightly trembling as I continued down the path, storm clouds were rolling in all the while. I passed many faces on the way, all smiling in glee without a care in the world. Did those people know that Kakashi Hatake's fate was undecided? Did they know the turmoil that was brewing inside me but not totally ready to burst? I think not.
The doors of Lady Tsunade's office loomed in front of me, I cannot remember how it is that I came to stand before them. Oh I wish I could tell you that I was brave, I really do; I want to tell you that I leisurely sauntered into her office just as you have done on so many occasions; I long for the right to laugh with you about how she screamed at me for keeping the both of you waiting; I have a yearning to taste the kind of shock that would undoubtedly course through my system as my jade eyes landed on your unharmed, creased one.
Sadly this was not the case. My disinclination to lay my hand upon the door was obvious to the inhabitant of the office behind said door. There was a simple, quiet call of Enter and I righted myself. I stood before my Lady with my back ramrod straight and stomach in knots, I couldn't bring myself to look into her eyes that were like warm honey, so I stared at the floor. Sakura, she called to me; Look at me, she stated with a firm voice. Alas, I could not disobey my master, so my gaze was redirected towards her face and I wish I had gone with my gut and disobeyed.
I shall never forget look on her face; The way her jaw clenched in an attempt to stabilize herself; The way her fingers demolished the wood as they gripped so hard her knuckles were white; They way she looked at me with such dejection, wrapped in animosity and dipped in an even heavier coating of penitence. I'll never forget the clap of thunder or bolt of lightning that I saw in the distance through her window after looking away from the tear stricken face of Shizune. I will also never forget her words.
Kakashi's mission was a failure, she began with a voice I'd never been privy to before; My throat tightened. She took a sip of her sake before shattering her glass, her hand began to cry tears of blood onto the dark wood of her desk. Shizune immediately stepped forward, calling out to her, but halted in her tracks when Lady Tsunade raised her hand. I watched all the streaks of blood as they quickly raced down her arm, disappearing beneath her sleeve. Her stare was soft and yet so intense at the same time; I was almost relieved when another boisterous clap of thunder resounded throughout the village, effectively delaying her continuity. My throat tightened unbearably, waiting for the news and just like that...the dark, angry clouds opened up and the sky began to weep, signaling the end of Konoha's drought.
A/N: Reviews are much appreciated!