This is being written in collaboration with my talented friend nightchild78. We are having fun bouncing ideas off each other, and sharing in the excitement of watching this story unfold!
Special thanks to Rose Malmaison for making the image to go along with this fic!
Categories: NCIS/Torchwood
Rating: M
Characters: Tony DiNozzo, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Abby Sciuto, Tim McGee, Ziva David, Dr Donald Mallard, Jimmy Palmer / Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper.
Pairings: Tony/Gibbs, Jack/Ianto, Tosh/Owen.
Warnings: Swearing, slash, Mpreg, explicit sexual situations.
Spoilers: Set during the 6th season of NCIS and after Children of Earth for Torchwood. Mentions of the episodes SWAK and Requiem for NCIS and for the episodes Cyberwoman, To the Last Man, Dead Man Walking, A Day In the Death, Exit Wounds as well as the whole of season 3 of Torchwood. Miracle Day never happened.
Disclaimer: We don't own these characters. We just like to play with them.
RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE
Gibbs entered Director Vance's office, pretending not to know the men seated at his desk.
"Special Agent Gibbs, this is Colonel Christopher Tennant and Sean Craig, here on behalf of MI5," Vance intrduced Jack and Ianto respectively.
"Pleased to meet you," Jack greeted, standing up and extending his hand.
"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir," Ianto said, following Jack's example.
"They're leading an international, inter agency special ops mission to take down a drug ring in Afghanistan used to fund Al Quaïda," Vance continued. "You and Special Agent DiNozzo have been requested by name. You for your skills as a sniper, and DiNozzo for his undercover experience."
"Sounds like a big deal," Gibbs said in his usual casual tone that most found so hard to read. "When are we supposed to head out?"
"A plane is waiting to take you to site by the end of the day," Jack answered. "As we speak, Special Agent DiNozzo is already on his way to Afghanistan to begin his part of the mission, gathering intel and earning the trust of the locals."
"Due to the top secret nature of the mission, I am only just now learning of your involvement. And as much as I hate letting two of my men go blindly into this kind of situation, my hands are tied. The order was signed by the President himself," Vance informed Gibbs, casting subtle glares at Jack and Ianto.
"Apologies, Director Vance," Ianto said with a polite bow. "But for securities reasons, you must also sever all contact with your agents until the mission is complete."
"And how long do you anticipate that taking?" Vance asked irritably.
Jack shrugged. "Could be a month. Could be a year. But I can assure you that you will be contacted once your agents complete their mission."
"Dead or alive?" Vance asked rhetorically.
Ianto nodded. "However, based on their considerable skills and experience, we feel confident they will come back to you in one piece."
"What about my team?" Gibbs asked, not wanting to arouse any suspicion in Vance by going along with things too willingly. "I can't dump them like that."
"I've got some suitable temporary agents in mind," Vance reassured Gibbs. "Unfortunately, since Colonel Tennant and Mr. Craig here want you flying out to Afghanistan ASAP, you won't have the luxury of vetting your replacements."
Gibbs gave a reluctant sigh. "Since DiNozzo is already on his way, you don't leave me much choice. I'll have to trust McGee and David to keep the new agents in check."
"Okay." Vance gave a curt nod. "I'll leave you to these gentlemen. Don't worry about informing McGee and David. I'll take care of that."
Gibbs nodded in understanding, and Jack and Ianto shook Vance's hand, thanking him for the use of his agents before the three men departed.
Entering the elevator with Jack and Ianto, Gibbs smiled to himself. He'd be sure to call Abby and McGee later, letting them know what was really going on. In the meantime, he was comfortable in the knowledge that he could now remain at Tony's side, supporting him through his pregnancy every step of the way.
RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE
8-year-old Tony clung to his father's side, a chill running through him as they entered the waiting room. It appeared to be some kind of doctor's office. He hated doctors. Since his mother had died just months ago, they scared him. There was something in them that inevitably reminded him of hospitals. The mere sight of a white coat was enough to make him feel sick.
Tony felt panic rise within him. Was his father sick? He didn't want to be an orphan. What would happen to him then? Gripped by fear, the little boy clung tighter to the man.
"Get off, Junior!" his father growled under his breath, pushing Tony away. "You're wrinkling my jacket."
The waiting room was empty and Tony and his father took their seats near the door, Tony once again grabbing onto his father's arm as the man settled in to read a magazine.
"What did I just tell you, Junior?" the elder DiNozzo scolded, yanking his arm away with an annoyed huff. "I told your mother not to baby you. Now she's gone, and look what I'm stuck with!"
Tony looked up, wide eyed, at his father. He loved the man, but he feared him. Missing the warm and loving personality of his mother, Tony curled up into a ball.
At the same time, a middle aged couple entered the room, nodding at them before gently leading their daughter towards the opposite row of chairs.
Peeking out from above his knees, Tony saw the other parents casting a wary glance his father's way, but his expression had already morphed into his usual affable mask as he ruffled Tony's hair, and their features quickly softened with sympathy.
"Anthony DiNozzo?" a woman called, and Tony and his father were soon following her down a hallway and into an office.
Sitting behind a desk, the woman motioned to two chairs on the other side of it. "Please, have a seat." Her tone was welcoming and kind. What kind of a doctor was this? She didn't wear a white coat and her office didn't look like any doctor's office Tony had seen before.
"Tony?" the woman addressed him gently. "I'm Dr. Moore. But you can call me Miss Carol. I can see you look a little afraid today, but please don't worry. This is a safe place."
Tony eyed the woman cautiously. She seemed safe enough. Like a teacher or something. With light brown hair pulled up into a loose bun, and dark glasses on her pale, round face. Tony started to open up from his defensive position in the chair, when his father's voice pulled him right back into it.
"Good luck getting him to talk!" the man said gruffly. "He's barely said a word since his mother died a few months ago. He just follows me like a shadow. Clinging to me. Getting in my way. The boy is 8 years old and he acts like a scared toddler!"
"Well, Mr. DiNozzo, sometimes the loss of a parent can -"
"Yeah, yeah. Do what you need to do," Tony's father said dismissively. Letting out a heavy sigh, he shook his head. "Don't misunderstand me, Dr. Moore. I'm very concerned for my son's well being. But what you must understand is that I am a business man. I have to travel around the word and I need a certain freedom of movement. And it's impossible as long as Junior acts like this. I can't afford to have a clingy kid constantly wrapped around my leg. It's truly... inconvenient, you see."
Doctor Moore's eyes slighty narrowed, but she didn't say anything, patiently listening to the tirade and glancing at Tony from time to time.
Holding his knees closer to his chest, Tony buried his face in his personal cocoon, pushing the sound of his father's voice to the back of his head. He missed his mother. The world was a scary place without her.
※
"Tony?"
"Mmm?" Tony blinked, Ducky's voice calling him out of memory.
Ducky sat cross-legged in a chair at Tony's bedside, holding a thick folder.
"It wasn't an easy task, but with help from of Dr. Harper and Ms. Sato, I was able to obtain copies of your records, and I must say, they are quite the eye opener! For example, I never knew - "
"Can you help me?" Tony cut the Scotsman off. He knew that Ducky would go on and on if given the chance, and he really didn't need to review his lengthy psychiatric history. It had demanded enough effort from him to hide the reality of his state from the various shrinks he had met throughout his years in law enforcement, just in order to keep his job. He didn't need a reminder of how fucked up he was, and how far back his issues went.
Ducky sighed. "We can do our best. Unfortunately, given your precarious state, and the very fact that you are with child, we do not feel comfortable keeping you on medication."
Tony gulped. While he certainly didn't want to risk harming himself or, more importantly, the baby, he felt like, without his medication, he had no lifeline to cling to. It was a frightening thought.
"So, now what?"
"We're going to start you on light therapy today," Owen answered from where he stood in the corner. "We'll also try and treat your symptoms nutritionally. The results may be slower and more subtle, but should prove helpful over time."
"Lastly, but perhaps most importantly," Ducky added, "we will need to keep you with others whenever possible. Keeping you social and busy will lift your spirits and improve your sense of self worth, taking your mind away from harmful thoughts. But I guess you already knew that, since you were previously a very social person."
"How?" Tony asked. "How can I be social and busy while on bed rest?" He really didn't understand how it could be possible. So early into his pregnancy, and he was already so weak. While the hormone shots had improved the dizziness - he could actually sit up without the room spinning - he was still extremely weak. Besides, Owen had made his orders clear."
"We're going to get you a wheelchair, Tony," Owen answered, holding up a hand when he saw Tony wince in protest. "This will allow you the freedom to do more than short walks between the bed and the toilet. The way I see it, that freedom can only help your mood."
Tony nodded reluctantly. Just like he had with Doctor Moore, he trusted the two doctors, and he knew that they would do their best to make sure he didn't spin out of control into his personal darkness.
RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE
The soft sunlight of Saturday morning beamed through the kitchen window, warming Tosh's face as she cut up fruit for breakfast. Her giggles belied her admonishing tone as she urged Owen to stop distracting her from her work with light kisses to her neck and nibbles to her ear. The kitchen smelled of pastries Ducky had popped into the oven not long ago. Sausage was set off to the side, ready to be grilled when everyone was out for breakfast. All that was missing was the intoxicating aroma of Ianto's coffee. But he and Jack had yet to emerge from their room. The night before had been busy and stressful, and they deserved time on their own.
Owen had finally given Tosh some peace to work, as he and Ducky checked on Tony, who was sitting at the kitchen table. Gibbs sat beside him, holding his hand, his free hand tapping on the table, suffering the caffeine withdrawal with a smile. Waiting as patiently as he could for his overdue first cup of coffee.
Glancing back, Tosh couldn't help but to smile at the sight of Tony. At 4 months pregnant, he was already sporting a baby bump that looked more like a beer gut at this point. It was rather unusual considering the stage of his pregnancy, but Owen assured them there nothing to worry about for the moment. "We can't treat this as we would a female pregnancy," he had explained. "There will be differences." And Jack himself confirmed that he started to show pretty early on with Tony's mother.
Abby and McGee, who were visiting for the day, hovered, talking to and cooing at Tony's stomach. Owen scolded them to move out of the way so he and Ducky could check Tony's vitals, while Gibbs and Ducky simply laughed at the spectacle.
Turning back to her task, Tosh felt at peace as she began washing off strawberries. Things felt...normal? Was that the word she was looking for? It had been so long since she had experienced any semblance of normalcy. And the fact that the house had two people resurrected from the dead, a ghost, an immortal from the future and his pregnant grandson living in it would hardly constitute as "normal" for most people. But there was a feeling of family. Warmth, love, comfort, bickering and a touch of craziness. Just what family should be, she thought as she went about cutting the strawberries. Her father died long ago, she had no siblings, and she couldn't contact her mother without causing her even more pain. So she was happy to have a new hand made family to rely on.
"That's pretty," Tony commented.
Tosh's head snapped around. "I'm sorry, Tony. What did you say?"
"That song you're humming. It's pretty," Tony explained.
"Oh!" Tosh gave an embarrassed laugh. "Thank you,Tony. It's just a song I used to sing with my grandmother when..."
Tosh's voice trailed off as the realization hit her. She had no clear memory of singing the tune with her grandmother, but she knew that she had. "Perhaps it was when - "
Tosh's musings were interrupted when Jack and Ianto came bursting into the kitchen mid argument.
Tosh and Owen exchanged knowing looks. It seemed that Jack and Ianto were still fighting over the previous night's hunt. Going after creatures that were reminiscent of Weevils, but far uglier, and with a bite that was poisonous to its victims. Putting them down hadn't been an easy task, and Ianto had almost been bitten.
"That was stupid. Stupid and reckless!" Jack shouted.
"I was doing my job!" Ianto countered.
"Doing your job doesn't mean you have to be reckless and risk your life!"
"Yeah, because that's not what you do all the time?" Ianto said sarcastically.
"I am immortal. You are not," Jack argued.
"Yes, like most of the people you know, and yet it doesn't prevent them from crossing the street, just because they could get run over," Ianto said irritably as he started preparing the coffee with unusual brusqueness.
"Hey!" Tony interrupted them. "Tony doesn't like it when grandpa Jack and baby grandpa Ianto fight," he said in a tiny baby voice.
Ianto gave Tony a sideways glance as he started brewing the coffee. "Did you just call me 'baby grandpa'?"
"Well, you're my grandpa's lover, and you are the youngest adult here," Tony pointed out.
"Plus, he's boyishly handsome! Like McGee!" Abby added affectionately, ruffling Tim's hair .
"I am not boyish!" McGee objected.
"Yeah you are, McBabyface!" Tony laughed.
"And handsome!" Abby made sure to repeat.
Tosh smiled, noting that, like Jack, Tony had a gift for diffusing tense situations with humor. Watching as the Torchwood leader retreated with Tony into the living room, Tosh turned her attention to Ianto, who was leaning against the counter, watching the coffee brew. She understood why Jack was upset with and worried about him. Losing Ianto had been devastating, and considering Jack's own experience with death, it wasn't surprising that he wasn't keen to take risks with Ianto's life.
She'd been meaning to ask Ianto about his experience with his own death, but had never known how to bring up the subject. Maybe now was the right time. If the feelings and dream like snippets she had been receiving were any indication, perhaps the Welshman might have some hope to offer his lover.
"Are you all right, Ianto?" Tosh asked, gently rubbing Ianto's back.
Ianto nodded, steeling himself as he began pouring the coffee into mugs. "I know that Jack means well. I'm just sick of him treating me like a child, or a fragile china doll who needs to be wrapped in cotton wool."
Tosh nodded in understanding, watching as Ianto prepared everyone's coffee to their liking. "I'll take those," she offered, handing everyone their coffees as they were ready.
Now, they just had to fry up some sausage, and wait for the pastries to finish baking.
"Ianto, I've been meaning to ask you -" Tosh began, before the sound of piano playing in the living room pleasantly distracted everyone.
Intrigued by the sound, their guests went, coffee cups in hand, into the living room to listen. A coffee-less Owen followed, leaving Ianto and Tosh to talk and finish preparing the meal.
RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE
Tony sat at the piano, playing and humming a playful tune. Jack's voice joined in, and they were soon singing together, the light-hearted number welcoming their audience.
"The night is young, the skies are clear
So if you want to go walking, dear,
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely.
I understand the reason why
You're sentimental, 'cause so am I,
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely."
Tony and Jack's vocal styles were very different, but both pleasing to the ear, and hearing them together brought cheerful smiles to all who were listening. Eventually, Ducky sang along as well, earning an approving grin from Jack.
The song was a bright, welcome start to the day, and the growing bond between Jack and Tony became all the more evident. The still tentative closeness between the two broken men was very touching and Gibbs couldn't help feeling his heart swell in his chest at the idea that they seemed to have finally found the family they had been looking for for so long. It was so different from Tony's toxic relationship with his father. So much more comforting and healthy. Though they were both grown men, there was something between them that reminded Gibbs of Kelly's relationship with her grandfather. Something genuine and easy going.
"Never pegged you for a Cole Porter fan," Jack told Tony once the song had ended.
"My mom used to sing this to me all the time. She loved those old musicals!" Tony revealed with a smile.
"Really?" A smile brightened Jack's face, making his blue eyes sparkle. "I used to often sing this song to your mother when I was pregnant with her. Funny that it seems to have stayed with her."
"She's been on my mind a lot lately," Tony confessed, his eyes glancing out the window into the garden. "I wish she could be here now, singing with us. I wish she could meet you."
Jack captured Tony in a hug, furiously blinking back tears, so as not to upset him. "So do I, Tony. So do I."
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Ianto and Tosh were plating up breakfast. Their spirits, too, had been lifted by the tune that carried in from the living room. But moreover, the time alone had also given them the opportunity to talk, finding comfort in their shared experiences with death.
"You should tell him," Tosh whispered to Ianto, just before everyone came in, refreshed and ready to eat.
RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE
"I want you to know that I understand," Ianto told Jack, as the two men lay naked beside each other in their bed. "I know why you're over protective of me. You're scared of losing me again. I understand that. It's just that sometimes I can't help feeling smothered. "
Jack nodded, relieved at the younger man's comprehension. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I was thoughtless and careless with your feelings, and I never told you how I felt because I was a coward. After you died, there was this pain in my heart, this unspeakable ache...I cursed my immortality then. I would have gladly followed you into that darkness, so that you wouldn't have to face it alone.
Ianto reached over, resting his head on Jack's chest. He had never dared to broach the subject before, but now he knew he needed to comfort the older man. Jack needed to know the truth. It would give him hope. Something to hold on to.
"You're wrong about the darkness, Jack," Ianto said matter of factly.
Jack gave Ianto a questioning look. "What are you talking about. I've died thousands of times. That's all there is. Darkness.
"Tell me what it's like for you, when you die," Ianto urged, ignoring the bitterness of Jack's statement.
"What are you, a shrink?" Jack half joked. "What's there to tell? I die, then there's a darkness, and a silence that's almost smothering. Before long, I'm pulled back into the land of the living. Sometimes it's sudden. Sometimes more drawn out. But it's always a bit jarring."
"So, your body expects to be pulled back to life. It's what you're designed to do. You're not meant to settle into death, and you know it. Correct?" Ianto prodded.
"I guess," Jack laughed. "What's with all the questions?"
"I just want to hear your experience, so that I can help you understand mine," Ianto explained, raising himself up onto the pillow so that he and Jack were eye to eye. "When I died - and when Tosh died - it was assumed that we would stay dead. We had a bit of time to settle into it. Tosh more so than I did. Our experiences differ a bit. She doesn't have many clear memories. Just pleasant feelings, and snippets that are more like dreams. Occasionally, she will have clear recollections of spending time with loved ones. As for me, I was dead less than a day. My memories are more vivid."
Jack took a few deep breaths before responding, giving Ianto's words time to sink in. He was being forced to rethink everything he'd come to believe about death. Given those beliefs, this was probably a good thing. But it still took a moment of mental preparation on his part.
"And what do you remember?" Jack finally asked, reaching for Ianto's hand. Whether the gesture was to comfort Ianto or himself, he did not yet know.
"You were holding me, and I wanted to stay there in your arms. I tried to hold on for as long as I could. I didn't want to slip away from you. But the darkness finally claimed me and I couldn't fight it anymore," Ianto said, shuddering.
"At first, it was exactly as you said. This thick, smothering darkness. I was afraid. Afraid of being left in that darkness, all alone. I wanted to cry. Wanted so badly to cry. But I felt I'd lost my voice. So I tried to relax. It took great effort on my part, but eventually, I came to an acceptance of my reality. What else could I do? Once I'd reached that acceptance, I heard it."
"Heard what?" Jack asked. He had never heard anything in death. Nothing until he was brought back to life.
"Music!" Ianto replied, his voice suddenly taking on a bright, cheerful tone, like that of a child. "It sounded almost like wind chimes, but there was a melody in there. A true song. It was most inviting. Eventually, the darkness peeled away as light welcomed me."
"Go to the light, Ianto Jones!" Jack teased.
"I'm serious!" Ianto punched Jack playfully in the arm. "It was like opening my eyes. The song kept calling to me, and I felt very loved. Like I would be cared for. I was still halfway in darkness. Beckoned by music and light. I was curious, and ready to find out what waited for me there, when I felt a gentle hand holding me. Something was pulling me back. Away from the light, yet out of the darkness."
"Owen," Jack guessed. "That's when he brought you back."
Ianto nodded. "The transition was very gentle and smooth. Since I had not yet crossed over completely, I just had a very pleasant feeling. Like coming home."
Jack propped himself up on to an elbow, looking down at Ianto as he brushed some stray hairs off of his forehead. "You're sure about this? Absolutely sure?"
"I am, Jack!" Ianto said emphatically. "At first, I didn't want to tell you, because it seemed so unfair that you were denied the experience and stayed stuck in the darkness. But I finally realized that I needed to tell you, because I don't want you to worry for me anymore. I'm going to die again someday. Hopefully a long time from now. But when that time comes, I need you to know that I'll be all right."
Jack pulled Ianto close, so that their torsos were pressed tightly together. "Thank you for that," he said thickly. "It is a comfort. But I still don't want you to be reckless. I'm not ready to lose you again. I want to love and keep you when you are a very, very old man, all white hairs and distinguished wrinkles."
Ianto nodded tearfully into Jack's shoulder. "I'll be more careful. I promise."
Allowing himself to melt into Jack's protective embrace, Ianto thought of the days before his death. All he had wanted from Jack was a declaration of love. To know that their relationship meant something to him. And yes, Jack had hurt him. The love had begun to feel very one sided. But Ianto did see the change in Jack in the moments before death claimed him. On the verge of loss, Jack's love for Ianto was written all over his face, and audible in his voice, though he hadn't been able to say the words out loud at the time.
Now, given this second chance, Ianto had come to realize that the over protectiveness Jack felt towards him was in itself a strong declaration of love. Sinking further into the safe embrace of his lover, Ianto decided that avoiding reckless behavior was the least he could do to honor that love.
In a way, Ianto was glad Jack had let him say his piece before pulling their bodies so very close to together. Damn, Jack's scent was intoxicating! His 51st century pheromones clouded Ianto's thoughts in a haze of desire, and he soon found himself helpless in the older man's arms.
Ianto was so lost in Jack's warmth that he gasped in surprise, eyes popping open, when a lubed finger circled his hole before slowly, skillfully entering him.
Ianto moaned at the intrusion, gyrating back into it. Whimpering as a second finger entered, expertly dancing within him. Stretching his eager entrance.
By the time the third finger had entered Ianto, he was writhing in ecstasy, pleasure coursing through his body at the pressure tugging within him.
Jack slowly withdrew his fingers, watching as Ianto fell onto his back; a more than willing body for Jack to play with.
"You are so fucking beautiful!" Jack growled, staring hungrily at the dark hair, pale flesh, and blue eyes that stared up at him, hungry for his touch.
Licking and nibbling at Ianto's ears; sucking the tender spots of his neck, Jack's mouth never left Ianto's body as he generously slathered lube onto his erect cock.
Pressing Ianto's knees up to his shoulders, Jack licked at his inner thighs, eliciting gasps and moans from the younger man before finally steadying his knees on his shoulders.
In an erotic trance, Ianto's breath hitched in surprise as Jack's member nudged teasingly at his entrance before penetrating completely.
It was slow, deep and thorough. Jack's cock massaging Ianto's prostate. Strangled moans of satisfaction escaped the Welshman's throat, his own cock, hard and erect, poking into Jack's stomach.
Jack, so turned on by the gorgeous, submissive form beneath him, pumped harder, faster. Relishing the cries of ecstasy, Jack grunted and moaned his way to completion, spilling his seed into Ianto. Filling his welcoming body as Ianto spilled his own cum all over Jack and himself.
Collapsing next to Ianto, Jack wiped a finger full of cum off his stomach. sucking hungrily at the digit. God, everything about Ianto tasted good! His skin, his lips as well as his cum. He repeated the process several times, until he was satisfied he was clean, then hovered over his dazed lover.
Ianto's chest and stomach glistened with cum, and Jack went right in, licking every last bit off of the fair skin. His tongue taking a detour to deep red, pointy nipples, licking teasing circles that caused Ianto to shudder in satisfaction.
Pulling back, Jack's eyes drank in the sight of Ianto gazing at him with adoration. There was no way Jack was ever going to let anything happen to the beautiful Welshman. He would protect Ianto, body heart and soul, for decades to come, whatever it takes.
(Author's note: Why, yes. Jack's Alias is taken from Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant! We are true Whovians, after all. ;) And Ianto's alias was taken from the James Bond actors. Clearly.
I hope you enjoyed the glimpse into Tony's past. I thought it would be interesting to have the Tony we know start off as this quiet child who misses his mom.
The musical moment between Tony and Jack was partially inspired by my family, who is very musical, and often has impromptu sing-alongs.
I loved writing the Janto smut! Figured it was overdue. ;) And, of course, Ianto's reassurances to Jack, I thought, needed to be said.)