The walk to Gryffindor Common Room was long and quiet and the only sound was of our feet against the floor of the long secluded corridors. It was about half eight when we got to the north tower because of our long walk because neither of us really wanted to set the pace but Merlin's beard! It was freezing in the castle and I was nearly tempted to run to the common room, but i knew it wasn't the right time.
Do I talk to Potter? I mean, James as I now call him.
I can't remember a time when James didn't call me Evans so it's weird now he's calling it me as if it's normal. I remember the first time I ever saw the Marauders and from then on it's been the same old Evans, untill now of course.
Well no the first time I actually saw the Marauders was first year on the train to Hogwarts where I was looking for a carriage. Sirius and Remus said something like 'Alright? What's your name?'
"Lily" I replied quietly because it was my first friend, so to speak, I had ever made. "Lily Evans"
"We'll be calling you ginge from now on then?" Sirius said whilst laughing nudging Remus and James
"Lily the ginge" he repeated with Remus starting to giggle. I never saw James laugh though, he just stared at me the whole time, but he probably started laughing once I had ran off crying which was the when I bumped into Jess and she comforted me. And there our wonderful friendship was born!
The first time I properly spoke to them all was third year and the first trip to Hogsmeade. I was waiting outside the entrance for Jess, Rose and Zoe when James and Sirius practically ran into me and pushed me over. They had got reputation by this time as two of the four pranksters and everybody practically worshiped James and Sirius for their humour and, inevitably their good looks.
Their force pushed me straight to the floor and I exhaled a loud squeal because I landed forcefully on my arm. I heard Sirius laugh for a while and then I saw a hand in front of me. (By this time, the whole of Ravenclaw and half of Gryffindor were watching me so I was trying my hardest to minimise the attention they were all giving me) I looked up and saw the eyes of who the hand belonged to, which were Potter's. No way was I going to actually let him pick me up; he probably had some other kind of tick up his sleeve. But before I could refuse Sirius shouted:
"Oh don't pick her up Prongs! Gingy needs to learn how to be a proper girl and get up herself" A couple of people laughed, everyone else had walked off to Hogsmeade ,which was where I wanted to go. James' arm stayed put and he moved it more in my face as if making another offer. I ignored it and stood up myself, keeping eye contact with him making sure he wasn't going to pull a another prank.
"Alright Evans?" He asked me in concering tone.
"Yes" I said trying to not show the agony in my arm. He started laughing.
"Wow Evans your face is the colour of your hair. Is that normal?" He asked Me and Sirius,(Which by the way has been his classic line ever since. Mocking my ginger hair) James was clearly looking for some support. Which Sirius gave.
"Dunno James? She is looking a bit red in the face but maybe that's her freckles playing on our minds" He said as James started to laugh. And from then on it's been the same ginger, freckles, red, know-it-all jokes he has always said.
And I couldn't really talk about that to make polite conversation with him could I? But that didn't matter now as we were in sight of the fat lady.
"Weird password isn't it, Animus? Who chooses them?" I asked because the last thing I wanted was awkwardness in the common room.
"Animus means magic from the old Muggle language Greek" He said turning to look at me. I guess I was looking shocked at this very random knowledge as his face turned into a warm smile.
"How… How did you know tha-"
"Muggle Studies Evans, very interesting subject" he said as we reached the portrait.
Bloody hell I never thought I would hear James talk about something like that.
"Oh" I said, not really knowing what to say "That's very good knowledge James"
We walked into the common room together to find that even though it was only half eight there weren't that many people there, but we still, and very awkwardly, took the table at the back by the window.
"So" I said trying to break the awkwardness that we could both feel and sense "What are we doing again?"
"Um those things on how to make school better. Dumbledore only said two or three things but to be honest Evans I can't think of one so this is going to be very hard" He said as he started tapping the quill against the table. Hang on what happened to me calling him James and vice versa and everything?
"Lily" I said simply. He stared at me like I had just spoken Greek or something.
"What?" He asked with a questioning look on his face.
"Lily. Call me Lily" I said with a smile and glanced up at him for no longer than two seconds then looked back down. I saw him look away at the table and then a smile just grew on his lips like one did on mine.
"Okay, Lily, have any ideas for these?" He asked me and we started working, cooperatively, on our first head job. We must of really lost track of time because I began yawning more regularly and James glanced at the old clock in the room.
"Bloody hell it's half ten" He said, not sounding surprised however, nor getting up to leave his seat, he said it rather as a statement.
"Oh god it is" I said starting to leave my seat, but I felt, for some reason this wasn't going to be the end of the night.
"Lily?" James asked me quietly but loud enough for me to hear and not the other third years in the room. I sat down looked at him whilst returning to my seat.
"I'm sorry" he said. Looking down at the three light-hearted attempts we'd made on trying to make the school better. Did he just apologise or was I imagining it?
"Sorry?" I asked, not knowing if I had heard him correct.
"I'm sorry Lily" He said this time looking at me in the eyes.
"What for?" I asked him leaning in on the table so I was closer to his face because for some reason, this apology seemed only for my ears.
"I was only meant to be playing with you. Honestly, but when she had a massive go at you I felt so guilty" He said rushing.
"Whoa James slow down! Start again" I asked
"Lily! About what happened yesterday at lunch!" He said raising his voice. Clearly apologies weren't his thing. " I was only playing with you in Potions about where the meeting was and I was honestly going to tell you after lunch or I thought you would come up to me and shout at me like you always do calling me a 'toerag' or a 'pompous rat'. But when you asked Bronte Taylor where the meeting was I knew it would only go one way, the bad way, and I felt so bad Lily"
What the bloody hell just happened! Not only had James Potter just apologised but he had said he felt bad for his actions! That isn't James Potter!
"I know how badly you want to do well at Head Girl Lily, and you are your fantastic! Which is why I feel so bad on making you cry yesterday" He finished looking at me and leaning forward in his chair so his face was pretty close to mine. I don't know what to say! Too many feelings are going through me!
"James it's okay. I'm not bothered anymore. I built the bridge and got over it. But thank you for saying sorry" I said, honestly. And I know it was short but it's the best I could do.
"It's the least I could do Lily. Really." He said smiling at me as I smiled back. We must have sat their smiling at each other for ages. God we must've looked idiots.
"I'm going now" I said standing up and getting all my stuff together.
"Oh" James said "Oh okay, I'll see you tomorrow?"
I nodded because I did really want my bed.
I had just made it too the stairs until I realised somebody had told me yesterday that me and James need to make a chart on who was going to patrol the evenings at night. I ran back to where he was sitting to find James hadn't moved and was sitting exactly how I left him except playing with the quill in his hand.
"Oh god I nearly forgot" I said slamming myself back down in the chair which not five seconds ago I had just left.
"What?!" James said rather frantically.
And I told him about the chart and we did that all night until about, no exaggeration, half past eleven, to which point I was shattered. We said our final and proper good nights to each other and we both went off to our beds.
Next Thursday would be mine and James' first night patrolling the corridors together.
I woke up the next morning to find I had a little audience watching me while I woke. And they were all there with their arms folded and smiles and smirks written across their faces.
"Hello to you all too!" I said half asleep.
"Where were you last night?" Zoe asked me
"Wha-?" I asked them. Where was I last night? Where do they think?
"I was doing Head business!" I proclaimed.
"Yeah, yeah whatever" They all said laughing at me.
"Alright where was I then?" Sitting up and folding my arms, mimicking what they were doing.
"Well we heard from Hope and Chloe who heard from Marlene McKinnon who heard from her little sister Rachael McKinnon who heard from her best friend Suzie Malkins that you and James were together all night in the common room all cosy on the sofa!" Jess said as if following a road with her finger like you do when giving directions.
"What! Who's Suzie Malkins anyway?" I asked
"Third Year" Rose said. Oh of course she must have been one of the third years in the common room. Hang on! Cosy on the sofa? I think not!
"We were not cosy on the sofa!" I shouted at them all.
"Ahh but you were with him" Rose said.
"Yes I was! Doing head business though!" Seriously why did they not believe me! They knew that any situation that I was with Potter would be because of head duties!
"Mm whatever Lil" Jess said, and then I was bombarded with cushions thrown at me from Zoe and Rose. What wonderful friends I have!
All week nothing happened, which was very unusual for Hogwarts. James didn't speak to me, in Potions or at lunch or anytime of the day. Matt Wenlock still looked beautiful though. He even spoke to me on Thursday in potions! I wouldn't say it was a long conversation of sorts but it was definitely a deep and meaningful one.
I had, as usual, finished the work that was on the board, so Sir said that I had the remaining twenty minutes to study what I wanted. And I was always curious on the polyjuice potion and what would happen if you say, put an animal hair in; would you turn into an animal? (This is typical of a Potions student, wondering what would happen if you purposely changed an ingredient. Others, however, may call it a know-it-all-ness) Anyway I went over to the stock cupboard which was situated, coincidently, where Matt was sitting. He looked at me as I opened the cupboard with his piercing blue eyes which looked like sea on a crystal clear day that you could almost see into. I smiled at him as I bent down to look for an ingredient.
"What are you doing?" He said. Was he asking me? I had no idea so I decided to take the leap into the unknown.
"Me? I'm looking for some ingredient to see what would happen if I purposely messed up a Potion" I said standing back up. See if this was any other student, they would call me weird or give me a funny look. But Matt gets Potions like me and he smiled as if to show interest.
"Let me help you look" He said as he came round and looked into the cupboard with me; bent on his knees. I could see the reflection of his golden hair which shined like the sun in the corner of my eye. Bloody hell he is perfect! I leaned in to the cupboard trying to get something from the back when he said
"How do you do this Lily?" With his blue clear eyes staring into my uninteresting green ones.
"Do what?" I asked him back.
"Why do you not care what people think? Like how people call you a know-it-all which trust me you are none of the sort, but you carry on doing what you do. How do you do it? How do you not care?" He was still staring at me. Not lifting the trance which had both been set over us. I had never been asked this question before so I didn't really know what to say.
"I… I don't know. I guess people only see what they want to see. And people see me as a know-it-all. But I guess the people who I love and love me know me for who I really am and I guess that's all that matters" I said. I don't know where that came from. At all. I had never said that to myself or thought it. Matt just stared at me not saying a word. But then a gentle smile formed over his face.
"Everybody should be like you Lily." He stated and walked off, handing me the ingredient I had been searching the last five minutes for. I sat there staring at the place where he had just vanished from for about a minute and then snapped back into reality. I walked back over to my seat where James was staring at me until I sat down. He looked upset and angry, I don't know why but I let him be and didn't speak to him.
The weekend was dull also, everybody had started to get homework and nobody was really making effort to see each other, myself included. Nobody really does on the first week back, it's all very serious. Don't know why, it's just the way it has always been. To be honest, most of my weekend was occupied by sleep and catching up on it. There was one good part though. The pudding they served on Friday. It was literally amazing. It was chocolate cake with, wait for it, profiteroles on top covered in chocolate sauce. I sound like all I care about is food, but literally that was all I could think about when eating that wonderful creation.
Thursday came by again as quickly as it had gone. James reminded me in Potions of our patrols tonight, as if I would forget!
Actually I had so I'm glad he reminded me.
"Where shall we meet?" I asked him as I added the final ingredient into our potion which, with my help, was looking magnificent (as far as potions can go).
"I have Quidditch practice tonight till six. So shall we say seven in the entrance and we'll make our way up the school?" he said.
Very tactical approach, also very much spoken like a Quidditch player.
"Yea" I agreed and by then it was the end of lesson and we were all leaving.
"Lily where are you going?" Rose asked as I put my robe back on.
"Patrolling the castle?" I replied. She had a very fishy look about her though.
"With who?" She asked. Oh merlin not this again!
"James" I said quickly and before she could say another comment I walked out the door leaving her with a baffled look on her face. I got into the common room and checked the clock. It was one minute to seven. Perfect timing Lil, well done. I think this is a first.
I walked outside the portrait and made my decent to the entrance hall. I couldn't see James anywhere. Bloody hell, he's probably forgotten or snogging Emma Browne again as this is normally his reason for being late. I stood there, turned a full circle to check he wasn't hiding, sighed and began walking back up the stairs. This is going to be a very lonely night.
"Lily!" I heard him call when I was on the third step. I whipped my head around to see James standing there looking slightly red cheeked and his uniform a bit scruffy. Saying that, that's what it's always like.
"Were you going to go without me?" He asked, joining me on the third step.
"Of course not!" I answered back "I just thought you had forgotten"
He smiled at me and with a gentle turn of his head to the side, he indicated that we start our walk around this castle. So we did.
"Sorry I was forgot about time on the Quidditch pitch and I was training the team really hard" He said apologetically. Of course, how could I forget? James is captain of the Gryffindor team; of course he was going to keep them longer than he said. Somehow, and I am not sure where or how, I knew the next game was against Slytherin. So this was probably the reason.
"You're playing Slytherin aren't you?" I said and he whipped his head round and looked at me, impressed.
"How d'ya know that Evans?" he said
"Ahh. I have my sources" I replied touching the end of my nose. Which he laughed at. He has a different laugh to what I remember, or maybe to what I'm used to. It's much softer, more gentle and seems much more genuine.
"Well your sources are correct" he said with a nod of approval. We had reached the third floor by this point and I was just about to ask him about how he thought the match would go when we got, quite abruptly, interrupted. Yes, Emma Brown saw me and James together, stopped, muttered something under her breath and then came racing at James. I don't think James saw her at first because he looked around quickly to see where the noise of quick running feet was coming from. But soon enough Emma was all bloody over him. I really dislike this her, honestly she can't keep her tongue in her own bloody mouth. I was literally stood there for about one minute while they were snogging each other's faces off. Once they finally stopped (which I think it was James who pulled away, I wasn't really looking, I tried to avert my eyes someplace else) Emma had grabbed onto his robe, pulling him in close, told him she loved him then ran back off.
MERLIN WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE BLOODY IS?!
I stood there staring at James, showing no emotion.
"Potter if you think that I'm going to let her snog you on every head duty, she and you have another thing coming" I said sternly.
"Lily I rea-"
"I don't want to hear another word" I said and continued walking.
As we were walking the castle, we came across a couple of fourth years who were trying their luck on magic in the corridors. I soon put them into place though. And we were followed by Filch's cat on the sixth floor, but other than that it was a pretty clean night which I was happy about.
James and I hadn't said anything to each other since we got interrupted by Emma, I can't say I wanted to though. I don't know what it was, but I was annoyed how she had come and how she had snogged James, but I don't know why.
We reached the top floor of the south tower, which was chilly due to how high it was and I realised that we had found ourselves outside the astronomy tower.
"I haven't been up there since fifth year" I said. Why did I say that?! Why would he care? Good one Lily, talking to yourself, first sign of madness that.
"After you then" James said.
"What?" I asked him, confused.
"I said after you Lily, let's go up" James said and with that I started climbing the bendy stairs to the astronomy tower. And Merlin I had forgotten how beautiful this place was. You could see the lake, the forbidden forest, Hagrid's hut, and it seems, tonight, all the stars had decided to show themselves. I think James must of noticed how mesmerised I was because he started smiling and giggling to himself. I ignored him and without thinking what I was doing, ran over to the edge to get a better view of the grounds and the stars. Bloody hell, I had never seen anything so beautiful.
"Katasterismoi" James said and it was then I realised how close behind me he had got.
"What?" I said, slightly laughing to myself.
"The Greek name for constellations" He said staring into the stars which were reflecting off his glasses. It really made me chuckle.
"You know a lot about your Greeks don't you?" I said laughing. He laughed back, but still kept staring into the night sky.
"Lily" He said softly
"James?" I replied
"I never got chance earlier to explain" He said looking at me with his hands leaning over the edge.
"About what?" I asked turning my body towards him.
"Emma" He replied. Ahh, of course it was.
"James I don't really care about yours and Emma's love life" I said with a sigh and turned back to face the stars.
"But that's the thing Lily, there isn't one. Just every other kid in the school seems to think that" He was looking down to his feet as he said it, almost ashamed.
"James don't lie, you're always snogging" I said, making sure I put emphasis on the always.
"Let me tell you something Evans. In sixth year and up in till, I had heard of Emma Brown. I sat by her in a few lessons and realised she was okay and I thought to myself 'Well, I may as well ask her out' And she said yes and everything was fine for about 2 weeks until she started getting cocky and then she decided that it was okay to snog me any time anywhere.
I told her it wasn't okay and it was really pissing me off. She didn't listen. Then one night, Mooney was really ill, but I had arranged to meet Emma. But I couldn't leave him, he was too vulnerable. Basically Emma found out the next day went mad and ended it. Saying I shouldn't ditch her for mates. I was bloody thrilled to be rid of her don't get me wrong." He said smiling at me. But then the smile soon dropped.
"But then she had realised I had moved on and didn't care so she acted as if nothing had happened and carried on acting as if we were together. This brings us up to now. Evans, I'm not in a relationship with her, I don't even like her. She's just thinks we are, in fact she knows we're not, she's just trying to get my attention by snogging me everywhere and playing with Sirius too"
Once he had finally finished he took a hand through his messy hair and ruffled it all up, then carried on looking out. I didn't know what to say. That was a lot of information at once and, now that I think about it I did feel sorry for the boy. But I had one burning question inside me which I slipped out.
"But why James, did you give her a chance in the first place? She's always been like that to everyone else"
He looked at me as if I was something stupid and held the look in my eyes for a while then turned back around.
"She was nice to me, different than she was to everyone else" He said softly.
"But why did you even start talking to her in the first place? Surly Sirius would've sa-" I didn't get chance to finish my sentence.
"WHAT? Are you seriously asking me this question Evans?!" He said now turning his body to completely face me.
"Er…yea" I said quietly.
"Why do you think?!" He said staring at me. How was I meant to know?! I stood there with my mouth open but no words coming out.
"Because I couldn't get you Lily!" he said really looking into me.
"God Potter not this again! I'm sick of you telling me you want to go out with just to take the piss because nobody else will! I'm sick of you taking the mick of my ginger hair and my freckles and whatever else you can find to piss me off!"
"You have got to be kidding me!" James said as he stormed off to the other side of the astronomy tower. I walked straight after him.
"No James I'm not kidding! Since third year it's been you asking me out for the piss just so you and your mates could have a right old laugh. And I'm fed up of it and not having it anymore! Whether we are head boy and girl together or not! I don't want you making my last year at Hogwarts shit for you and your mates own bloody entertainment!" I was almost shouting it in his face.
But he stood there, with his posture tall, face on to me. His face was straight and he was looking at me dead in the eyes. He took his hand and ran it through his hair again.
"Lily is this what you think?" He said almost silently.
"It isn't what I think James, It's what I know" I answered back.
He didn't say anything again. He just stood there staring at me not breaking our look. Then with a sigh he began to speak.
"Evans. I'm going to speak now and I don't want you interrupting me okay?"
"Okay" I whispered.
"I remember the first time I ever saw you. It was on the train on the first day to Hogwarts. You were looking for a seat and you came in looking into our carriage. Sirius said he would call you 'ginge' or something from that moment on, but I don't know if you remember, I just stared at you. Even though I was 11, I was still stunned by your friendly face and how your smiled innocently looking for a place to sit.
Then in third year, the first time I ever got the courage to try and speak to you and Sirius pushed us into you. I asked him to do it because I desperately wanted to help you up, hold your hand, or just an excuse to look at you're warm green eyes without you thinking I was weird. You refused and I felt like a twat so I decided that the only way to win you was get your attention. So I did by talking about your beautiful hair or your piercing eyes. But Lily, the things I said about you were true.
And remember that time in Transfiguration where we sat next to each other?"
I nodded slowly, not taking my eyes of the boy who was pouring his heart out to me.
"I said to you, 'Evans, your hair looks it's on fire the way the lights shining on it.' And you looked at me as if I had just cursed you and your cheeks went bright red. And then I said to you 'And now your face has gone the same colour'. Alright it wasn't my best line, but Lily the way your hair looked was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. And I've only seen it like that twice. The other was when Snape called you a, what he said,-"
Tears started forming in my eyes, I hated it when people mentioned him.
"And the sun was shining on your hair, like it had done that time in transfiguration once. And you had your hair down and it was blowing to the side. And then I saw your green eyes fill with tears and you began to run away from Snape and everybody there. Lily, if only you knew how much I wanted to run after you and hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay.
And then from then on, it was just the same. I tried to ask you out, give you a compliment, but you would take it the wrong way. I wanted you to see sense but you never did.
Then in sixth year Sirius told me to give up on you, that you would never give me a chance. I didn't want to believe him, but I did. And then I got to know Emma and it all happened. But then I realised that I was with Emma because I wanted her to be you but she wasn't you Lily. Nobody could compare to you. And then I saw you again at the start of term this year. You looked more beautiful than ever. Your eyes were glistening and your hair was flowing and then when we met on the train and I realised you were head girl and I got butterflies because I realised i was going to spending the rest of the year with the most beautiful girl in the world.
But, Lily is this what you've been thinking all this time?!" he finished, looking distressed and looking into me deeply looking for an answer.
I don't know what I'm feeling. All that can't be true! Potter's just up to his old tricks again! Of course he is!
"James" I whispered, my words getting caught in my throat "Is all that true"
"It's as true as the day I realised I love you Lily Evans"
And with that, i was running down the spiral stairs and to Gryffindor Common Room than i had ever ran before.