This is being written in collaboration with my talented friend nightchild78. We are having fun bouncing ideas off each other, and sharing in the excitement of watching this story unfold!

Special thanks to Rose Malmaison for making the image to go along with this fic!

Categories: NCIS/Torchwood

Rating: M

Characters: Tony DiNozzo, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Abby Sciuto, Tim McGee, Ziva David, Dr Donald Mallard, Jimmy Palmer / Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper.

Pairings: Tony/Gibbs, Jack/Ianto, Tosh/Owen.

Warnings: Swearing, slash, Mpreg, explicit sexual situations.

Spoilers: Set during the 6th season of NCIS and after Children of Earth for Torchwood. Mentions of the episodes SWAK, Boxed In, Hiatus Part 2, Escaped, Singled Out, Bury Your Dead, Chimera and Requiem for NCIS and for the episodes Cyberwoman, To the Last Man, Dead Man Walking, A Day In the Death, Exit Wounds as well as the whole of season 3 of Torchwood. Miracle Day never happened.

Disclaimer: We don't own these characters. We just like to play with them.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Gibbs' stomach clenched with guilt as he stared at the face of his furious lover. He'd done it again! After promising it wouldn't happen again, he had hurt Tony. Not with his words this time, but his lack of actions.

"Tony, I'm sorry," Gibbs said, not giving a damn about rule #6. As he cut up a single pancake, preparing a new plate for Tony, his heart broke as he saw that Tony was clearly fighting back tears.

"Here. No need for you to go hungry," Gibbs whispered soothingly, placing a piece of pancake in Tony's hand.

Tony glared, clenching his jaw and threw the food at Gibbs. He then hit him as hard as he could, which wasn't very hard at all. But the action was enough to communicate that things had become too much for Tony.

"Come now," Ianto said gently, positioning himself behind Tony's wheelchair and pulling him away from the table. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"I'll help," Jimmy offered, following as Ianto wheeled Tony away.

Gibbs started after them, but Jack held up an arm, gently holding him back.

"Let him go. Nothing you say right now will help. Tony needs time to cool off," Jack reasoned.

"I guess you're right," Gibbs shrugged sadly, while eyeing the mess Tony had made. "Let me clean this up for you."

Jack nodded appreciatively. "I'll help."

As Gibbs followed Jack to get some cleaning supplies, he caught sight of the rest of his team, shooting Ziva an angry glare.

Saying nothing, Ziva simply looked down. But she wasn't off the hook, as McGee and Abby had followed Gibbs' example.

"What the hell was that, Ziva?" McGee asked angrily. "Laughing about the fact that Tony can't talk? He was sitting right there!"

"I - I guess I wasn't thinking," Ziva stammered. "It was a knee-jerk reaction."

"What? So making fun of Tony just comes second nature to you?" Abby asked, throwing up her hands in disbelief.

"Hey! Back off! You're no better than me! We all screwed up!" Ziva pointed out.

"Yeah, but right now, you screwed up more!" Abby insisted.

Ziva paused, looking quite ashamed of her actions. "I did not mean to hurt him."

"No. And yet, you always do. We all do. Seems we can't help it," McGee sighed sadly.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Once Tony had been cleaned, Ianto and Jimmy took him into the spacious library, Ianto locking the door behind them.

"It's not like locking the door will keep anyone out if they really want to get in here. Especially Owen," Ianto couldn't help but to comment. "But I think they know better than to bother us."

Tony simply scowled through angry tears.

"I know you're upset," Jimmy said softly, sitting next to his friend and taking hold of his hand. "We screwed up. We just sat around talking about you, while you were right there, needing our help, and we ignored you."

"Our actions were inexcusable," Ianto agreed, sitting across from Tony at the large table. "I, of all people, should have been more considerate. While I don't understand your specific situation, I do understand what it's like to feel alone and invisible. No one should have to feel that way."

Tony gave Ianto a curious look.

"You remember I told you about Lisa?"

Tony nodded.

"Who's Lisa?" Jimmy asked.

"I'll tell you later," Ianto quickly promised before turning back to Tony. "Before the team found out about Lisa, I was more or less ignored. I was just the tea boy to them. A glorified butler, actually. And I held so much pain inside my heart. I felt so alone with that pain. Yet I suffered silently, left behind at the Hub while the team went about their business."

"Unh." Tony placed his free hand on the table, reaching out to Ianto with a sympathetic gaze.

"I appreciate your concern, Tony," Ianto smiled, patting Tony's hand. "But I didn't tell you this because I want your pity. I told you because I want you to know that I don't want you to face your struggles alone. I, for one,will never disregard you or your needs again."

"Neither will I," Jimmy promised, squeezing Tony's hand.

Tony's eyes danced between the two men he now considered to be his closest friends. So much sadness and frustration behind those eyes. At that very moment, something unlocked within him, and a long, keening sound echoed throughout the room, as pain past and present was brought to the surface.

Jimmy and Ianto watched sadly, allowing their friend to release the emotions which had been poisoning him.

When he was finished, Tony just sat quietly. It seemed he was trying to make sense of his own emotions, and the situation he was in. Looking up at Ianto and Jimmy, he appeared apologetic and ashamed.

"You're scared, aren't you?" Jimmy asked, exchanging a concerned glance with Ianto.

Tony nodded.

Ianto stood up and made his way to the other side of the table. Pulling Tony's wheelchair away from the table, he turned Tony so that they were facing each other, putting his hands on the older man's arms to steady him.

"We're here," Ianto reassured Tony, blue eyes gazing into green with sincerity. "It's going to be all right."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Ducky entered the kitchen to find Gibbs sitting at the table, head in his hands, nursing a cup of coffee.

"How many cups have you had?" the Scotsman asked, taking a seat next to his oldest and dearest friend.

Gibbs shrugged. "Ianto left the pot for me." Taking a thoughtful sip, he set the cup down and sighed. "Tony doesn't want to see me. He's pissed off, and he has every right to be."

"Yes. Yes he does," Ducky agreed, nodding. "But you can't shoulder the blame yourself. We all played a part in what happened." Gibbs gave him a doubtful glance, but Ducky shrugged it off. "Yes, Jethro. All of us. And that includes myself, and all the people around this table earlier."

Gibbs slumped his shoulders.

"Yeah, but Tony is my partner. He's my responsibility." Breathing heavily through his nose, Gibbs ran a hand through his hair. "I wanted so badly for him to wake up. And I can accept that he has brain damage and I'll probably need to take care of him for the long haul. But I still can't wrap my head around it. Part of me just expects him to be all right. To be the Tony we knew."

"A lot has changed in recent months," Ducky pointed out.

"I know, Duck," Gibbs said, gulping down some more coffee. "Tony hasn't been independent for awhile now. But not talking? Having trouble feeding himself? It's just hard to accept. It's not... him. "

"I understand. But you need to be present for Tony," Ducky told Gibbs. "Even if he pushes you away, even if you misunderstand him, he needs your support!" With that, Ducky grabbed Gibbs' coffee mug, dumping it in the sink.

"Ducky! What the hell?!" Gibbs snapped, standing up.

"Enough with your self pity, Jethro! Right now, Tony's needs come first! Now, follow me to the library. Ms. Sato has something she wishes to show everyone."

In the library, the same assembly of people that was present for brunch gathered round the large conference table. Tony sat at the end of the table, staring down at his belly for the most part. Occasionally, he would glance up, glaring briefly at one of the people who had disregarded him earlier. Ziva, in particular, received an especially icy glare, which even managed to make the Mossad officer look down. In fact, the only people Tony seemed happy to see were Ianto, Jimmy, and Tosh, who was busy attaching something to his wheelchair.

The look Tony gave Gibbs was different, though. As the father of his child entered with Ducky, the glare Tony shot his way glistened with tears; less angry and more hurt. Out of everyone, it seemed, it was Gibbs who had hurt Tony the most.

Tosh worked for a few more minutes, Tony looking curiously at her.

She had locked herself away in her room in the days since Tony awoke from his coma, and no one - not even Owen, - knew what she had been up to.

While Owen could have easily slid beneath the door, he respected Tosh's need for privacy. Seeing her now with Tony seemed to confirm what most had suspected. Whatever Tosh had been working on, it was for Tony.

"There. All set!" Tosh declared as she straightened, addressing Tony specifically, but speaking loud enough for everyone to hear. "Tony, I made this for you," Tosh said, indicating a digital touch screen at the end of the arm of Tony's wheelchair. All he would have to do was reach his hand ever so slightly to use it.

"This device will be your voice," Tosh explained, turning it on by pressing a button at the bottom. "On the main menu, there are pictures and basic phrases you can put together to express what you want to say. You see?" She pointed, indicating some of the words and phrases that appeared. " 'I want', 'I need', 'eat', 'drink', and so on."

Tosh swiped her finger, indicating a new set of options. "See? Here are buttons with the names and photos of your friends."

Touching a symbol at the corner of the screen, a keyboard appeared. "You can also write out more elaborate sentences, if there is more you would like to say. I'll spend some time with you, to teach you how to use this, but what do you think of it, Tony?"

Reaching for the keyboard, his hands a bit unsteady, Tony slowly typed his answer.

[ " Like it. Thank you." ]

Tony looked up, giving Tosh a teary eyed smile and reaching out his arms. Tosh leaned over, hugging him. Happy to see the sadness and frustration fading from Tony's face.

"Is there anything else you want to say?" Tosh inquired cautiously. "Perhaps you'd like to talk about what happened at brunch?" Tosh knew it was a touchy subject for Tony, and was hesitant to bring it up when he had only just started to calm down. But she felt it was important for him to voice his feelings on the incident from earlier that day, as well as others things he seemed to have bottled up for too long.

Tony frowned, looking at the screen. His finger touched ["I feel." ] He looked at Tosh, unsure of what to do next. Smiling patiently, she guided him until he found what he needed.

Smiling faintly at Tosh for the help, his finger hit [ "angry" ].

Tosh indicated a button at the top of the screen, and Tony pressed it, putting his thought together.

[ "I feel angry." ]

Typing with uncertainty, Tony slowly expressed his next thought.

[ "I can't talk. I can understand. Not stupid. You forgot." ]

A heavy silence filled the room, everyone weighed down by their varying burdens of guilt. Tony's outburst at brunch reminded them that he was mentally present, and had been hurt when they overlooked him. Hearing him put his feelings into words - confirming the unintended cruelty of their actions - was a harsh, yet needed eye opener.

"Tony, we're so sorry," McGee said remorsefully.

Tony shook his head, slowly typing.

[ "It will happen again. Always does." ]

Nobody had a response to that. They had no intention of hurting Tony again. But, in the case of his NCIS colleagues, there was no guarantee. It had happened too often, for too long. It was always the same vicious cycle. Every time he thought they had finally learned their lesson and decided to change, they managed to fall back into their old routines, and all was ruined once again.

Tony looked at everyone warily, his eyes saying that he had given up on his old friends. He'd even given up on Gibbs. They had lost his trust, and it would take a lot for them to earn it back.

[ "I want sleep." ]

Gibbs nodded in understanding, standing up and readying himself to take Tony to bed.

[ "No." ]

Gibbs stopped in his tracks, waiting on Tony's next communication.

[ "Ianto." ] Tony gave a faint smile to the Welshman, conveying in a clear and unequivocal way all the confidence he had in him.

Ianto glanced back apologetically at Gibbs as he approached Tony and released the brakes on the wheelchair. But Gibbs understood. Ianto had done more to earn Tony's loyalty and trust in the months they had known each other than Gibbs had done in years. He couldn't blame Tony for feeling the way he did. He needed to let him have this anger.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Sneaking into Tony's bedroom, Gibbs cautiously padded towards the bed where his lover was lying on his side, his back turned to the door. Cautiously slipping into bed behind him, Gibbs reflected on the unfortunate turn their relationship had taken. It was nice being able to share a bed with Tony again. While Tony was in his coma, Gibbs had slept in an upstairs bedroom, so as not to make him sicker.

In that time when he had almost lost Tony, Gibbs realized what an absolute bastard he had been to him over the years. And he vowed that, if given another chance, he would make it up to him.

But Tony woke up, and nothing changed. Because it felt like everything had changed. The shock of seeing Tony brain damaged and without a voice was something Gibbs wasn't prepared for. Instead of really looking to see if Tony was still mentally and emotionally cognitive and present, he regarded him alternately as a baby and an object. It wasn't intentional, but it certainly wasn't fair either.

Gibbs never ended up saying the things he swore he'd say to Tony if he woke up. He never stopped to listen for the silent screams of the man who was sacrificing so much of himself to carry their baby to term. Tony was risking his very life for this child, after all!

Tony was there, all along. And, once again, he had been hurt by those closest to him. He was understandably angry, sad and frustrated. Gibbs knew that he may never earn Tony's forgiveness. He didn't deserve it. After years of mistreating Tony, then not being able to pull it together and treat him right after he nearly died...

Gibbs leaned in to kiss Tony on the shoulder. The poor guy deserved so much better than Gibbs gave him. Sighing, Gibbs rested his head on the pillow, wishing he could stop living up to the second "b" in his name.

"Jet."

Gibbs' eyes startled open at the sound of Tony's voice. Was Tony trying to say his name?

Clicking on the lamp, Gibbs sat up. He then gently put a hand on Tony's arm, rolling the younger man over to face him. He was met by a pair of bright emerald eyes staring at him.

"Tony? Did you say something?" Gibbs asked hopefully.

"Jeh...J-Jet-wo."

(Author's note: 1. I based the device Tony uses to communicate on the app my nonverbal autistic son uses. Hopefully, that adds some realism to it.

2. Also, I would like to take this time to invite you to join my new Tony-centric community on LiveJournal. Being Tony DiNozzo (beingtonyd) is a community dedicated to exploring our favorite NCIS (very) Special Agent as a fully formed, multi-faceted character. A place for Tony-centric discussion, fan fiction and fan art. We're only just getting started, but we already have a few active users, and have had some lively conversations.

I hope to see you there!)