Authors Note: Just to let you know, this story is going to be ending pretty soon, I wish it didn't have to but all things must come to an end. I hope you guys like this chapter, took me all day to write it, I even stood up till 6:41 am, which is right now, to rewrite it, and edit it. So please REVIEW & ENJOY (:
Chapter 20: The Power To Break & Create Me.
Sara POV:
When I got home, I layed in my bed and waited for Emy to call. I needed to hear her voice,but by the time it was 2:30,and she hadn't called yet, I new she wasn't going to call. So I feel asleep. I've been laying in bed for the whole day so far, Im still confused. I don't know what to feel , my lungs keep holding in my breaths when I think of Tegan, she still looked the same, beautiful, same size, she was still my definition of perfect. Emy was probably a little similar to Tegan they had a creative side, but Emy. I love Emy, like I said, she makes me forget, but I could never hurt her, It would kill me to hurt her, she was my best friend before she became my partner, so breaking up with her, is like throwing away all our years as friends. Emy and I had two good years, we spent everyday together, always had sex, always texted eachother, but I would always wonder about Tegan. Then when she started traveling, I became a ghost, again, alone, depressed, whenever shes around I feel my lungs grow stable.
Its 4:45 right now, my whole day has been wasted, I wanted to get up and do something, but my sheets were so comforting for once. Tonight is Charlies dinner, I didn't really wanna go after all, but Charlie called and made sure I was comming. I look to my side and grab my phone, Emy still hasn't called. I look through my call log and scroll through it, making sure it wasn't me who missed the call. I scroll through my whole call log and throw it back onto the sheets. I rub my face into my pillow and look out to my belcony, the rain is comming to and end. I sit up and look around, my house was always so clean, I never got out of bed to dirty it. I stand up and walk to my bathroom. I start the shower, setting it to steamy hot, and strip my clothes. I look into the mirror, when did I stop caring, I used to have a full beautiful body, now my hip bones pop out to much, my chest still looks okay, a little hint of rib cage showing, I was slowly fading. I sigh and the steam fills the room. I step into the shower and let the scolding water run down my back, its burns, but at least I can feel it. I never feel anything when Im alone, its like my body becomes numb. I quickly wash my body and hair, shave, and turn off the water. I grab my towel and dry off my body, making sure to get every drop of water off my skin. I wrap up my hair and brush me teeth. I walk back to my room and pick up my phone. Still no Emy, I look at the time. 5:10. I toss my phone back on the bed and walk to my closet, looking for an outfit. I still had some clothes from when I was a teen, I never grew out of them, except now they fit big on me. I grab a white v-neck, my maroon sweater, my light jean jacket, a pair of jeans and my maroon converse. I lay out all my clothes on the bed and start to change into them, putting on my bra and underwear first. When Im completely dressed, I walk back to my bathroom and look at my hair. I grab my blowdryer and plug it in. I dry my hair, parting in on the side, making me look like a boy. I laugh and look at myself, I actually looked alive for once. I smiled for the first time today and placed my hands in my hair. I walk back out and grab my cell phone and wallet. I walk down stairs and make-sure everythings off and unplugged. I grab the keys to Emys other car and walk out of my apartment.
Emy taught me how to drive when we were barley dating, it was an experience that I can never forget, that day I didn't think about Tegan at all, It was just me and Emy, thats when I realized I did love Emy too. The laughs, the kisses, I just wish I could go back in time and freeze it all, I would live in that day forever, because that was the first day I started to slowly forget.
I get onto the highway and focus on the road, it was empty. Not another car in sight. I keep driving for 15 minutes, I exit off the highway and get into town. As I drive through the streets of London, I look around, all the lights, all the people, I just wanted to be happy again. I pull up to Charlies loft building and park on the street. I get off the car and walk to the doors, a man opening it for me. I walk to the elevator and ride it all the way up to the 26th floor. When I get to the floor, I head to the 6th door, knowing this hall all to well. I knock on the door and wait. The door opens and I see Paulie, she smiles and pulls me into her, hugging me tight.
"You look good Sara!"
She says over the light music. I pull away and smile. She closes the door and I look to her living room, it wasn't a dinner, it was a party. Some people I new from Charlies work, some people I new from Paulies work, then there was Ronnie and Rodney, Lizzy and Michael, and Two other familiar faces. I look down to my outfit, everyone looked dressed up, I came looking casual.
"Charlie went somewhere real quick, she'll be back. Wanna beer?"
I nod at the mention of beer. She laughs and walks away. I walk into her loft and Lizzy smiles at me. She motions for me to come over, I walk up to them and they all smile at me.
"Sara you look good."
Everyone tells me, I smile and thank them. Paulie walks up to me and holds out my beer. I take it and take a long gulp, after drinking it for years, the taste is like water to me. I sit down on the couch and Paulie looks at me.
"So Charlie said you new what the suprise was?'
I look down and fiddle with my fingers, I new her suprise, but I also new my torture would be here any minute.
"Yea, your going to love it Paulie."
She smiles in relief and I hear the front door slam close. Everyone turns around and in walks Charlie. She smiles at everyone and walks to her stereo shutting it off. I smile and look at Paulie.
"Can I have everyones attention, I have 2 anouncements to make."
Everyone quiets down and I keep my eyes on Paulie. Charlie grabs her hand and lifts her off the couch. She pulls her close to her and kisses her cheek
"As you guys know, I have been with Paulie for years now, 12 to be exact."
Everyone awws and she looks at Paulie.
"And I want everyone to know how crazy I am for her, still after all these years. She has been with me through thick and thin, she has become the biggest aspect of my life, and I never have wanted another woman more, except for Mandy Moore."
Everyone laughs and I giggle at Charlies sense of humour.
"But seriously, I have never wanted another woman more, shes my highschool sweetheart, the love of my life, and most of all, shes my First Love. So I got this, to show you Paulie, that Im never leaving you."
She starts to roll up her sleeve and Paulie looks down, the skin still red, but the cream making it shine. Everyone cheers and Paulie smiles, wraping her arms around Charlies neck. They share a beautiful kiss and Paulie kisses the tattoo. She looks at me and smiles, I smile back and hear Charlies voice.
"The second anouncement is also very interesting. The person who did my tattoo, is standing in the hall, right now."
I drop my head down and feel the memories start to come back, my torture. I hear Charlies footsteps and then the door creeking open. I can see out of the corners of my eyes, Ronnie, Rodney, Lizzy and Paulie gasp. Ronnie and Lizzy stand up and run to her. I look at Paulie and shes looking at me, the soft tear running down my face. She knows this is killing me, she looks at Tegan and I close my eyes. I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders and I look up, Paulie was looking at me, shaking her head. I turn around and see Tegan, she was hugging Lizzy tight, talking to her. They pull away and I turn back around.
"Im gonna get another beer."
Before Paulie can say anything, I stand up and walk off to her kitchen. I look into the fridge and scim each of the beer logos, I needed something stronger. I look in the back and see a Sky Vodka bottle. I grab it and take off the cap. I grab a cup from the rack and start to pour it slowly. I close it back up and put it back into the fridge, opening the freezer and grabbing 3 ice cubes. Vodka on the rocks. I take a sip and feel my throat burn instantly. I scrunch my face as I take another drink. I hear footsteps and see Paulie walk in. She walks to me and looks at me.
"You knew she was comming?"
I take another sip and nod.
"Sara."
She wraps her arms around me and pulls me in. I snuggle into her and feel another tear.
"Say the words and I'll tell her to leave."
I shake my head and look at her.
"Im fine . . ."
She sniffs my breath and shakes her head. She takes the drink from my hand and tosses it down the drain. I watch as it pours down, hitting the dirty pipe walls.
"Don't drink this, drink beer Sara."
She grabs another one from the fridge and opens it, handing it to me. She grabs my hand and leads me back into the living room, I keep my head down as we walk through the small crowd. We sit down on the couch and Charlie smiles at me.
"Do you think Charlie looks cute with a tattoo now?"
She laughs and I giggle. I know their gonna have some hot sex tonight. I push the image away and look up. Charlies introducing Tegan to everyone. I look at her and study her, her familiar army jacket, she still had it all these years. I look up into her eyes and find her staring right back at me, I keep my eyes on her as I take another drink of my beer. She looks down to her feet and then back up to me, smiling weakly. I look down and take another sip.
Tegan POV:
Charlie finally finished introducing me to everyone, I walk to the staircase and sit down. I look up and see Sara, shes drinking her beer and looking down at the floor. Charlie walks up to me and hands me a beer, I take a sip and she sits next to me. She nudges my arm and smiles.
"Paulie loves it."
I look down to her tattoo and smile. They were the only couple that I new, that were together longer than 4 years.
"Im glad."
We both take a sip and I stare at Sara. She was so skinny now, still beautiful, but skinny. When Charlie told me she did the whole not eating thing often, I felt my heart literally tear open, like someone ripped it open with their bare hands. I keep my eyes on her and let out a deep breath.
"How is she . . ."
Charlie looks at me and shrugs.
"Who?"
I look at her and she drops her head. I take another sip and look at Sara again, eyes still glued to the floor.
"You want the truth Tegan?"
That made my heart hurt, that means there was more, it was much worse then just not eating.
I nod my head and she sighs.
"Shes not the same girl she was in highschool. She doesn't smile, shes doesn't go out, she doesn't eat. When you left Tee, she was a mess. I would check on her from time to time after school, everyday she would cry. I never new what to do . . . Paulie always held her and tried to sooth her, but it just didn't work. After graduation we became bestfriends you know? We were happy when Sara met Emy . . . she smiled more, she laughed more, she got out more, and she forgot about her past for a while. Emy made her happy, until she got her big break and started traveling. She leaves Sara alone for days, even weeks at a time. She'll call us in the middle of the night, we'll talk to her till the sun rises, one time we even had to sleep with her, in the middle of us, like we were her parents and she was our kid with nightmares, we held her all night as she cried. Were worried about her . . . Im afraid that one day Im gonna walk into her apartment and find her not breathing . . . "
I let the tears fall from my face, I thought Sara was just sad to see me, I didn't know I was tearing her life apart. I didn't know that me leaving years ago, would determine how she spent everyday of her life. I look at Charlie and she looks down.
"Its because of me, I left her . . ."
She sighs and nods slightly. I drop my head and watch as each tear falls from my eyes to the hardwood floor.
"But what she needs most, right now Tegan . . . is a friend. She has Paulie, Lizzy , Ronnie and I , but now that your back . . . she needs you."
I had put her into a rut, it was me who stopped texting, who stopped calling, who never texted back, who deleted voicemails, I didn't do it because I didn't love her anymore, I did it because I loved her too much. I thought I would never see her again, she would move on, marry, have kids by now, but shes sitting on a couch, alone. She was alone as a kid, and alone as an adult.
I look up and stare at her, she looked like a broken person now, after Charlie said all those things, I notice her face, no expression at all. The smile I was used to seeing years ago, was long gone, it was hidden underneath her thoughts and memories. She looks at Paulie and tells her something, Paulie says something back and Sara nods. Paulie turns her attention back to the girls and Sara stands up, grabbing her beer and walking towards the balcony doors. She opens them, steps outside, and closes them. I look at Charlie and she nods, already knowing from watching me stare. I stand up and walk towards the balcony doors. I look through them and see Saras slim figure, leaning over the balcony rails. I open the door quietly and step outside into the chilly air. I let out a deep breath and see the mist come out from my mouth. What was I gonna say? Im sorry for ruining your life, but Im back now so love me. It wasn't that easy, she had Emy now, Emy was hers, and she was Emys. But Charlie was right, if she needed me to be her friend, I would, even if it ment seeing her with someone else, I just needed to be near her now. I slowly make my way to her, one foot in front of the other. I get behind her and she sighs, turning around. She bumps into me and spills her beer on my shirt.
"Shit Im sorry."
I laugh and shake my head.
"Its fine."
She shakes her head and looks down.
"Im gonna get some napkins."
Before I can say anything, shes gone, back inside. I sigh and walk over to the patio table. I sit down on a chair and set my beer on the table. I hear the door open and close, I look up and see Sara walking back to me, napkins in her hand. She smiles and hands them to me. I grab them and start to soak up the beer with them. She sits down on the chair in front of me, and watchs me.
"I can buy you a new shirt. . "
I laugh and look at her.
"Its fine Sara, I have tons of shirts at the shop."
She nods and looks back down. I toss the napkins on the table and run my fingers through my hair, feeling my tips massage my scalp lightly.
"Why did you come back?"
I open my eyes and see her looking down at my shoes, biting her lip. I sit up straight and look at her.
"I missed it here, this was my home . . . "
She nods and I look down.
"Why did you stay?"
She smiles and starts to laugh weakly.
"I couldn't leave, to many memories here. . . "
Her face get serious as she looks out to the city. I can see her remembering everything, whether they were made with me, her friends or Emy.
"Shes not the same girl she was in highschool. She doesn't smile, shes doesn't go out, she doesn't eat."
I remember Charlies words, I look at her and study her face.
"Whats going on with you Sara, why are Charlie and Paulie worried about you?"
She blinks and I see the trail of tears slide down her cheek, her side profile makes it look like a shadow. She turns to me and looks me in the eye, her eyes look like a damn about to break.
"They always worry about me."
I sigh and close my eyes. She wasn't going to admit it, she wasn't going to say it was my fault.
"You give them reasons too, you call them late at night crying, you don't eat, your smile is gone, Im worried about you too."
She shakes her head and stands up.
"Charlie tells you everything huh? I don't need you to worry about me Tegan, you haven't for 10 years."
She starts to walk away and I grab her arm. She turns around and looks me dead in the eye.
"Im trying to be here for you Sara, Im trying to help."
She snags her arm out of my grip and shakes her head.
"I needed you then, don't try to help now."
I feel my heart fall to my stomach, the look in her eyes, so much pain, she needed me then, the tears even told me. I watched her as she turned away from me and walked back inside the loft.
I made her this way . . .
Sara POV:
I walk back inside and look around for Paulie, I needed to leave. I don't know why I was mad, I just was, why all of a sudden does she care? She thinks I give Charlie and Paulie reasons to worry about me, I don't. They know exactly whats wrong with me, they know Im alone, they know my entire story, Tegan has no clue. She has no clue just how many nights I've cried for her, she has no idea what was running through my mind when she didn't text me or call me.
I see Paulie hugging Charlie and walking with her to the kitchen. I quickly rush to her and tap her arm. She turns around and smiles, her smile fades when she sees my tears.
"Sara what happened?"
I look at Charlie and shake my head.
"Why did you tell her? Why did you tell her everything Charlie, she thinks she understands but she doesn't. . . . I trusted you . . ."
Charlie shakes her head and tries to explain, but I look at Paulie.
"I have to go, I won't give you guys reasons to worry about me anymore."
Charlie grabs my hand and I move it away. Paulie looks at Charlie and I turn around, walking towards the door. I run down the hall and instead of waiting for the elevator, I use the stairs, 26 flights down. I get to the bottom and quickly run out the building and into the street. I grab my keys from my pocket and run across the street, stopping traffic. I get into my car and close the door. I breakdown on my stearing wheel.
Why did Charlie tell her what I was, that I was a mess, that I wasn't alive, they were my safe places. I hated being alone, but I loved to think of Tegan, but still hated it, because memories of her leaving me fill my mind. I never win. She told me she wanted to be here for me, she wanted to help, I didn't need her to be my friend, I needed her to hold me, I needed her to tell me she was never leaving again. I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, I lift my head up and sniffle away all the tears. I get my phone and look at the Caller ID Emy. I lean back into my seat and look at the roof. I needed Emy, I needed her to come home and hold me, I need her to tell me she was never leaving me, I needed her to make me forget.
"Hello?"
"Sara, are you sick?"
I stay quiet and let her hear my sobs, my painful sobs.
"BABY WHATS WRONG?"
I look out the window and up Charlies building, the pain swelling in my chest.
"I miss you Emy . . . I need you here with me."
I shake my head and throw it back.
"What happened baby, just tell me?"
"I NEED YOU!"
I beg her, Emy knew I wasn't one to express myself so forward, I always sugar coated shit for people, I was tired of it, I had to let her see what she was doing to me.
"Im on my way home."
She hangs up the phone and I drop it to the car floor. I start the car and look out into the street, when its clear, I get back on the road and make my way home. When I got home, I went straight to my bed, I layed down and buried my face into the sheets, letting my screams and cries be muffled and contained. I reach over and felt my empty sheets, I bunched them up in my fists and closed my eyes.
"I . . . think I might be in love with you too . . ."
I open my eyes at Tegans voice, the memory taking over my whole body, I remember the look in her eyes that day, like I was the only person in the world.
"Your my everything . . ."
My tears start to stream, the day she first made love to me, her words right after she said she loved me.
"Everything Sara, I need you so much. You've become my backbone, my purpose, my motivation, my . . . my First Love."
I was her first love, nothing compares to that moment, the moment she told me that. I open my eyes and see Tegan laying next to me, her little mullet haircut, her black sports bra, her black boyshorts, her little labret, her. I reach out and cup her face, it felt so real, like she was really here, the smile on her face burned into my memory. I blink my eyes and she was gone, I felt my breathing start to heave as I brokedown, silently screaming her name into my pillow. I looked back up and seen her again, only this time It was her now, I shook my head as I watched her get up from the bed, and leave my room, never once looking back, even as a figment of my imagination, I didn't want her to leave me. I close my eyes and feel a pair of arms wrap around me, I open my eyes and see Emy. Shes craddling me, kissing my head. I cling to her and shake my head into her chest.
"Don't ever leave me again. . . please ."
Tegan POV:
"Tegan I can't see you go . . ."
I feel my tears stream down my face, this was the last day I would ever see Sara. I cup her wet jaw, stained from tears and lean into her, kissing her with everything I have in my body.
She starts to cry harder and pulls away. I shake my head and look at her.
"Please don't deny me now. . not when I need you the most."
She looks at me and shakes her head. She pulls me into her and wraps her arms around my neck, an embrace I couldn't even fight. I cling to her and bury my head into her chest, feeling it rise and fall with her unstable breaths.
"I love you Tegan .. ."
I kiss her neck and whisper between sobs.
"I love you Sara, more than you will ever know."
She chokes on a sob and I lay her down on her back, She grabs my face and I lean into her palms, letting them caress my skin. I lean down and take her lips into mines, the saltyness mixing with my saliva. She shakes her head and through silent tears, reaches down and places her finger on my clit. I gasp and she cries harder, I bury my head into her chest and she just keeps shaking her head and whispering to me.
"Dont go . . . please . . . I need you."
Thats all I hear over and over, she pushes two fingers into me and I cry out her name, my tears making my voice crack. She brings her nails to my back and digs deep, drawing blood from my flesh. I lean down and bite on her neck, tasting my own tears on her flesh. She pumps in and out of me, I bring my face over hers and she closes her eyes, I shake my head and whisper.
"Look at me . . . let me see them one last time."
She shakes her head and I sob.
"Please . . . I need to ."
She cries harder as they open up, I lean down and kiss her lips slowly, our cries making it impossible. She keeps thrusting into me and I trail my hands down her body and cup her.
"Please."
Was all I heard before I pushed 3 fingers into her, making her scream out my name with pure exstacy. I cry harder as I feel her walls tighten around my fingers, the feeling so familiar already.
"Cum with me Tegan . . ."
I hover over her face and she breaksdown, I bring my free hand up to her face and press my thumb to her lips, my fingers under her chin.
"Cum with me . . ."
Our bodies start to shake at the same time, and we both give eachother the same thrusts. Our sobs, cries, moans, and groans, filling the room. Our faces scrunch up and for a couple of seconds, we stop crying and let our high hit us. I collapse on her body and we both start to cry again. I was never going to see her again, I was never going to hold her, hear her voice in person, have her hold me, cum with me, it was all over. My month with Sara was gone forever, with only the memory of our moans and spoken words to cary us through life.
I lift my head and look at her, she shakes her head again and wraps her arms around my neck. Feeling her chest pop up and down.
"Please don't forget about me . . . Please."
I shake my head and make a promise to her.
"I can never forget you . . .My First Love."
Sara POV:
When I woke up, Emy was still here. I felt my body ache and my muscles spasm, my body was sore from screaming, using all my might to get them out. I turn over and she looks at me, on the verge of tears. I study her face and notice that shes already cried, but still wants to cry more.
"Is this what happens when I leave you?"
She says low and guilty. I let the tear fall from my eye and onto the sheets.
"Everytime."
She shakes her head and pulls me into her.
"Im sorry . . ."
I nuzzle into her and silently cry, memories from last night taking over. I wasn't crying for her, I was crying because I saw Tegan, I saw her when she was mine, and then I saw her now, when she was gone. I look at Emy and she smiles weakly.
"Im gonna spend more time with you, were gonna be attached at the hip baby, you and I."
I feel my heart what I needed, She couldn't leave me now, she couldnt, if she did, I don't know what I would do.
Emy held me all day, never once letting me go. She made a promise to me without saying the actual words I Promise .
Its been 3 days since my breakdown, 3 days since I've talked to Paulie and Charlie, they call but I don't answer it. Emy is trying her best to help me, but for some reason its just not working anymore, I still enjoy her presence, but I don't feel like im fogetting anything, the memory of Tegan is still fresh in my mind. Its like Emys thread had been pulled, and im now unravling. She was trying though and that made me happy, it made me happy to know that she was trying to help. Right now Im thinking of Tegan, Even with Emy just in the other room, I still think about her. Im still confused as to what I want, but I pray that Emy never leaves me alone again.
I hear her footsteps comming down the stairs, I turn around and see Emy. I smile at her and she sits down, she looks stressed.
"Whats wrong?"
She looks at me and shakes her head.
"Jason got fired today . . ."
I look at her, Jason was the top photographer at her Agency, she always came 2nd to him. I shrug and kiss her cheek.
"That a good thing, be happy, you'll get paid more and be top dog."
She looks down and shakes her head.
"I also have to be on call 24/7, like getting called to go to a convention up in Glasgow tomorrow."
I look at her and she shakes her head.
"So what your saying is . . . your leaving?"
She sighs again and places her hand on my thigh.
"Sara, please understand."
She was leaving, just when I needed her company the most. I was going to be alone for days.
"You have to work, I understand."
She kisses my forhead and gives me a butterfly kiss.
"I promise I'll make it up to you."
I nod my head and she kisses my lips. I don't kiss back, I just let her move against pulls away and stands up.
"I have to catch the next train, its in 3 hours."
I keep my focus on the ground and I hear her footsteps walk back to our room. 2 Hours later, I was back in my cacoon. I didn't cry this time, I just watched as she packed and left.
"Just drop by anytime."
Tegans words rattled through my mind. I was starting to fall apart again, I needed someone to show me they cared, I needed someone to make me feel loved for a change. I just needed to feel something, this numbness was killing me. I look down to my hands and see Tegans laced with mines, I know their hers and not Emys, Tegan had cute little nails, long slender fingers, Emy had long nails, huge fingers, the thought of our fingers laced together made me smile. I needed to see her, I had to now. The feeling of her by my side, was becoming needed. I get up from my couch and get ready, quickly showering, shaving, and changing. I look around my apartment for anything out of place before I leave, everything was right where it should be. I look into the mirror and see myself, so broken, so old, so skinny, she was what I needed,she always made me feel alive. I grab the car keys and exit my apartment. I got downstairs into the garage parking lot and made my way to the car. I blinked and saw a picture of us, it made me smile for the 2nd time today. I got to the car and got in, straping in my seat belt, and turning on the engine. I reversed and made my way out of the I drove onto the highway, I kept asking myself the same question, was I really going to Tegan? Was I really going to ask her to help me? I have known all this time, that she was the only one who can help me. She had the power over me, to break me, and create me. No one could ever fix me but her, and I was tired of being someone else, I wanted to be me again.
I pull into town and make my way to the familiar street. As I get closer, I can see her shop sign blinking, her last name in the sign. I smile weakly and park my car across the street from her shop. I rest my head on the stearing wheel and finally realize, that this ment I would hurt Emy, I would tear her apart. My actions would speak for themselves, but my lies were worse, knowing your not worth the truth is the hardest part of it all. I turn my head and look into the windows, there she was. I took a moment to look at her through the windows, she had a coffee cup in her hand, sunglasses on and she was talking to a customer. When I seen her smile, thats what got me out of the car. I looked both ways and crossed the street, dragging my feet, hoping that this is the right thing. She walks back behind the curtain with a girl and I open the door. The little bell rings and I walk up to the girl, whos little name tag says Maggie.
"Excuse me?"
She smiles and looks up at me, taking a second to stop typing on her computer.
"What can I do for you?"
I look around and realize where Im at.
"I wanna get a tattoo." I Lie.
She nods and hands me a clip board.
"Just sign your name , the waits about an hour."
I look at the pen and hesitate, I wanted to do this, I wanted to see her. I grab the pen and sign my name. She nods and I turn around, walking back to a seat. I sit down and keep my eyes on the curtain, waiting for her to come out. As I could hear the low buzzing of her ink gun, I reach into my t-shirt and pull out the necklace, I look at it and see everything, me and her, 16 again. I sigh and placed it to my lips, fiddling with it on my lips. After 20 minutes, the curtain opens and I see the girl walk out with two stars on her wrists. She walks up to Maggie and Maggie covers them with the gauze and tape. The girl hands Maggie the exact change and walks across the floor, opening the door and leaving the shop. I see Tegans little figure through the open curtain. I look around and see only 1 other guy in here. Tegan focuses on her hands, drying them, as she walks to the front desk. Maggie hands her the clipboard and I feel my body start to shake.
"Only this guy and this girl left."
Tegan nods and looks at the clipboard, I see her eyes grow wide as she slowly lifts her head and turns to me. She hands Maggie the clipboard and nods lightly.
"I'll get to you when Im done with him."
She says, looking right at me. I sit still and just looks at her. They guy gets up and walks behind the curtain. As Tegan gets in, she turns around and looks at me as she closes the curtain. I feel my body start to tremble, behind that curtain, was the girl who had the hold over me, she was here again.
I hear the sound of her hands being washed, the gloves, the chair being lifted a little, I could hear it all in the soundless room. I heard the buzzing of the gun, and it some what relaxed me. I felt my muscles lightly melt, making my body slouch. As the time went by, it started to get dark. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and I sighed. I reached into my pocket and brang it to my face. The sound of the gun stopped, the sound of gloves being thrown away, the low mumbles of how good she did. I looked back at the screen and hovered my thumb over the info.
1 New Text Message: Emy.
The curtain opens and I look up, the guy walks out with a puma, or jaguar on his arm, just the face only. He goes to Maggie and she wraps it with tape and gauze. He pays her and she gives him back his change, he smiles at me and walks out of the store. I look around, I was the only one left. Maggie smiles at me and Tegan steps out from behind the curtain.
"You can go home Maggie, I got this one."
Maggie looks at me, then back to her.
"Are you sure? I don't mind waiting?"
Tegan nods and Maggie shrugs. She starts to pack up her things, and turn off her computer. I keep my eyes on her as she tells Tegan goodbye and walks out of the front door. When I look over to Tegan, she looks at me and turns her head to the side, wondering if Im going to get the tattoo or not. I look down at my screen, Emy, I look back up, Tegan, I look back down again, then look up. Tegan. She opens up her curtain more and I stand up. I slowly make my way to her, passing her as I get into the room. She closes the curtains, and walks to her chair. She rolls over to her personal sink and washes her hands, she drys them and grabs her gloves. Her backs turned to me, until she turns around, face down, and starts to change the needle on the gun. She lets out a deep breath and I feel my heart shutter.
"Did you mean it . . . when you said you wanted to help me?"
I ask her low, keeping my voice as calm as possible, but still wanting her to hear my feelings in it.
She nods lightly and looks up to me.
"I would do anything, if you would just let me. . ."
She looks at me and I feel my eyes start to water. I keep my eyes on her as I bring my hands up to my jacket zipper. I grab the metal and pull it down. I take it off and toss it to the floor, she stares at me and I take a couple more steps foward.
"Anything?"
I ask her again, low. Her eyes start to water and mines are silently streaming down my face. I grab at the hem of my shirt and slowly pull it over my head, letting it drop to the floor. She trails her eyes from mines, down to my upper body, my breast still the same size as when I was younger, but my weight loss showing. She scans all my skin, and ends at my eyes again.
"Anything . . ."
I gulp and reach behind my back, getting a good hold on my bra straps. I unhook the little things and pull it off my body, letting it fall to the floor too. Her eyes grow wide as she looks at my breasts. I look in her eyes, waiting for her reaction, I see the Ink Gun in her hand start to shake bad. Another tear falls from her eyes and I look at her,biting my lip.
"Prove it."