CHAPTER 15: SHADOW
(Severus POV)
Severus and Ilya were eating dinner.
"WOAH! HOT! HOT!" The raven-haired boy exclaimed, as he immediately drank down two glasses of water.
Severus frowned as he saw the white-haired girl smirk at his reaction.
"What kind of hellish meal is this?" asked the raven-haired boy, his mouth still burning.
"Oh, it's a Japanese dish. it's called curry," the white haired girl replied.
"Well, it's spicy as hell, that's for sure," replied the raven-haired boy, then began to fill his plate again.
"Why, you don't like it?" Ilya pouted.
"It's ho...hot," the raven-haired boy said, as he filled his emptied plate with a third serving. "But I must admit it's quite good. Where did you learn how to cook anyway?"
"Oh, my brother taught me," said Ilya absentmindedly.
For the past two weeks Ilya has been the one doing the cooking most of the time at the Snape residence. Despite the fact that he lived alone, the raven-haired boy didn't know how to cook. Severus normally ordered food or bought them ready-to-eat, and the only food he could ever cook was egg and bacons.
Still, it was kind of nice. Severus enjoyed her cooking, as well as the flustered looked she wore on her face whenever he complimented her. Still…
"Hey Ilya, are you all right?" the raven-haired boy brought the white-haired girl out of her reverie. "You seem to be a bit pale."
"Huh, oh yes, I'm fine," smiled Ilya. "Just a little tired."
"But you barely touched the food on your plate," Sev said, worry in his voice.
"Oh," replied Ilya. "This is actually my third plate, if you haven't noticed."
Severus was feeling worried about his companion's well-being. He knew that something happened that afternoon, he didn't know what, but whatever it was made Ilya cry. He wanted to know what happened, if someone bullied her, tried to harm her.
Then again, the only people who might even have a chance of doing that would be powerful wizards, which is unlikely, since Ilya didn't seem to be in any danger, she was simply emotionally distraught.
Severus guessed that Ilya must have reminisced something painful from her past, it could be the only explanation. Therefore, the raven-haired man tried his best to console the girl, by diverting her mind's attention.
"I see," nodded the raven-haired boy in agreement. "Well, that's an improvement, considering that the amount of food you normally finish is way above that, that it's worrying. You could end up blowing up like a ballo…" but Severus was suddenly forced to stop.
In one quick motion, the white-haired girl placed a spoonful (using the larger serving spoon) of curry into Severus' mouth.
The raven haired man gasped for breath, as all hell was sent loose inside his mouth.
"Could you please repeat what you just said, Sev?" smiled Ilya, in a dangerously sweet and calm voice. "It was something about my food intake, and about me blowing up like a balloon, right?"
Severus flinched. He suddenly remembered one of the topics girls hate the most. Having been friends with Lily Evans for a long time, he should have learned never to tease girls about their weight, or even try to delve on that subject for that matter.
"Ugh…" Severus voiced helplessly.
"Now then," said Ilya sweetly. "Since you told me that I should decrease the amount I eat, then you will help me, by finishing the rest of the curry, and just to make sure you will be able to, you will not be allowed to drink water until you finished all of it, to ensure that there is enough space. It is after all, not good to throw away good food."
Severus looked at the hellish meal on Ilya's plate, then at the cooking casserole. There was still enough there for four servings.
"Now, then Sev," as Ilya grabbed tightly to one of his arms, while filling the serving spoon with the hellish meal, moving it in the direction of his mouth…
"Open wide…"
Me and my big mouth, thought Severus bitterly to himself.
-BREAK-
(Lily POV)
"What do you mean when you say Dark Arts, or Dark Magic?" the girl who was identical to her asked.
Lily Evans recalled her encounter with the white-haired girl. In truth, she was the one who wanted to ask questions, but instead, it was the white-haired girl who interrogated her.
After saying all she wanted to say, the white-haired girl left the park, leaving the red-haired girl in a confused, hurt and disoriented state.
It had already been a few hours since then, but for Lily Evans, the ordeal has not yet ended. The questions, the answers, the accusations, the pain, everything was going on as if it were happening in the present, inside the red-hair girl's head.
As she sat on her bed, clutching a pillow, Lily Evans remembered how she answered that question. Like the many times she was asked of the same question, she took out the answer direct from the books and articles she read.
"The Dark Arts are…well...are any kind of magic which is used to cause harm and hurt people, I guess, and the kinds of magic and practices banned by the Ministry are also Dark Arts and Magic," the red haired girl remembered herself respond.
Lily Evans thought that she was smart. She thought she knew what she was talking about. She thought she knew the meaning of Dark Arts and Dark Magic. From the books, from what others say, from every possible source of knowledge, she knew what it means…
Why did you end your friendship with Severus Snape?
The white-haired girl asked Lily a question that brought back painful memories. Lily Evans had so many reasons to end his friend ship with Severus Snape, so many of them in fact, all of which were, for a good person, sufficient on its own to end the friendly relation with the other party.
"Because he's infatuated with the Dark Arts…Because he wanted to join You-Know-Who. Because he wanted to serve the Dark Lord! MERLIN! HE WANTED TO BECOME A DEATH EATER!"
Lily Evans though that she managed to explain the point well, but…
"Is that all?" inquired the white-haired girl.
One simple question, "is that all," yet the weight it carries was heavy. The white-haired girl was questioning the significance of the points Lily just stated. Why could the girl not understand? Therefore, Lily had to give a more personal rather than logical response.
"That's not all! "All this time I thought he was my friend! But I finally realized that wasn't the case. He may have once been my friend, but not any more! He was in too deep! He was hanging around his Death Eater loving friends, hexing and hurting people, using Dark Magic, Practicing the Dark Arts…For God's sake, he called me a MUDBLOOD! A MUDBLOOD! After all this time, I finally realized, SEV WAS NOT A GOOD PERSON! HE WAS EV…"
But then the white-haired girl did not let her finish her sentence.
SEV IS A GOOD PERSON! HE IS NOT EVIL!
Lily could not understand. After everything she told the white-haired girl, she simply would not listen to logic, listen to reason. The red-haired girl was confused, and at the same time, she felt a part, in her own self, that wholeheartedly agreed with the white haired girl, that Lily's former best friend was a good person.
"Do the Marauders, specially people named James Potter and Sirius Black, use Dark Magic?"
Once again Lily Evans was confused. The red-haired girl could not see the relevance of this question. Still, she answered it, as she had always known the truth, after all.
"No, they don't!" the red-haired girl replied automatically. "They're not that kind of…"
But to Lily Evans' confusion and irritation, the white-haired girl started laughing. And to make it worse, she repeated her question that Lily has already dutifully answered.
"What do you mean when you say Dark Arts and Dark Magic?"
The red-haired girl remembered how she was starting to get annoyed with the white-haired girl's antics. Still, she played along, wondering what nonsense the girl in front of her could possibly be getting at.
"It's magic use to hurt or harm people,…"
The white-haired girl then asked another question.
"And the Marauders do not hurt people?"
To this Lily replied with the same statement her fellow Gryffindors always used to compare the Marauders to Slytherins, the same statement she always told Sev.
"Yes they would jinx and hex people for the fun of it, but they don't use Dark Magic."
Lily could not understand at the time, as she remembered the last word of her sentence drowned out by the white-haired girl's laughter, though the red-haired girl was sure it was understood.
But Lily was once again interrupted as the white-haired girl started laughing again.
For the third time, the white-haired girl asked a question which she(Lily) Evans has already answered.
"Didn't you just tell me that Dark Arts and Dark Magic is any magic used to hurt people?"
"What do you mean?"
At this point, the red-haired girl recalled that her temper was at its limit. She couldn't see it. She couldn't see the point of their conversion now, which was leading into something no more than nonsense. She already had a half-mind to just leave her apparently loony look-alike when…
"Well, the Marauders use magic to hurt, harm, and bully people, but they don't use Dark Magic, right…The magic they use harm and hurt people, but it's not Dark Magic?"
The first blow struck.
Lily Evans, for the first time since she entered the world of magic, realized only knew the words and sentences attributed to the term. It was hard to swallow, and took a while to process, but now that she had time to think about it, the red-haired girl realized what exactly her white-haired mirror image was talking about.
Dark Magics…Dark Arts…She only knew the words by concept, by book meaning, by dictionary not by practice, not in real life.
But the white-haired girl did not stop there.
At this point, she now wanted to run, she wanted to get away from her.
Lily Evans thought she had always been right, that everything she had learned and has been told, that everything she had accepted was the truth.
The red-haired girl thought of her former best friend, a mixture of feelings, including sorrow, regret, and…joy? disregard? relief?
"After all the years you and Sev were together, after all he's done for your sake, you were just looking for a chance to throw your best friend away and make it appear like the whole thing was his fault."
"Did he ever once put you in harm's way? Did he, at least even once, tried to harm you, to curse you using, as what you say, his so-called Dark Magic?"
"He never even once, tried to hurt you… And just because of one, tiny little word, Mudblood, you disregarded all that he's ever done for you, and throw him away like a rag doll."
"Sev cared for you dearly, even though you hurt him, even though you were the one who threw him away, still, he did not want to see you hurt. Despite everything, he still cares for you a great deal, and he went to great lengths to keep you safe, even defying his own desire to join the Dark Lord. He sacrificed his belief, his ambition, his path, for your sake."
"Severus Snape is as true a friend as can ever be…"
"He was true to you, but you were never true to him…"
"…you did nothing. You just stood there, watching, as Sev fought for your sake against seventeen murderers, knowing he could get killed in the process."
"You never even saw Sev, did you? All you ever saw was yourself…"
"As far as you can tell, he was a nice piece of tissue on which you could dry your tears."
"… you only ever saw him as a tool."
"You."
"Used."
"Him."
"I'm right, aren't I?" said a cheerful, icy voice.
Lily Evans looked up, and was horrified.
In front of her was not a white-haired girl identical to her, but a girl with dark-red hair, with emerald green eyes, smiling wickedly, eyes glinting maliciously in the dark surroundings.
Lily Evans was not looking at someone who looked like her…
She was looking at herself…
"It's not true." said Lily.
"Yes it is." said the other Lily.
"No it's not!"
"Yes, it is."
"NO IT'S NOT!"
"Oh, yes it is…"
Suddenly there was knock on Lily's door, followed by the worried voice of her mother.
"Lily, are you okay dear," asked Mrs. Evans. "We thought we heard you screaming?"
"No, I'm fine Mom," replied the red-haired girl to her mother. "It was just a bad dream. Don't worry. It's nothing."
"Okay then, dear," replied her kind parent. "If you ever need anything, you can go to our room."
Lily heard the footsteps of her mother getting softer as she moved away from her door…
The red-haired girl then tucked herself into bed.
"It's not true…it's not true…it's not true…" Lily Evans repeated to herself, as she waited for sleep to come. But no matter what she did, no matter how she tried, she could not block the other voice that was whispering in her ear… her own voice…
"Oh, yes it is…"
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Merry Christmas! ^_^