Title: Revelation Duties
Pairing: SanUso
Rating: T
Warnings: Boyxboy, mpreg, language, slight comedic violence
Summary: Usopp's so nervous about telling his father about his pending parenthood that he's sure he's going to drop. Sanji on the other hand has no idea how to break the news to his own father figure, Zeff. They're both slightly lost, conflicted, and maybe a little hungry.
Note: Sorry this one is a little late, but it's the start of the sporadic updates from here on out. Between not having much already written so far and RP antics with a tumblr friend (which consumed all of my creative time last week because it was literally all I could think of), the updates will not be scheduled anymore. However, if you'd like to keep a track on when Basil Chronicles, or any fic that you're interested in, will be updated, feel free to follow me on twitter! My account is IchigoOtakuFics and I'm going to try updating it with fic updates often. Thanks for being patient!

Shopping trips were nerve wracking for Usopp when he was forced to go alone, but shopping with his father was another story. Usopp couldn't calm himself while waiting for Yasopp to appear at his doorstep. His knees were trembling and both hands drummed fingers over the tighter fabric of his shirt, stretched across his stomach just enough to give him a snug look, as he looked out the window of the front room. He tried to keep himself from pacing across the room, but his body shifted from side to side in anticipation.

"Oi, Usopp, calm down. You're gonna tire yourself out before you get going," Sanji said from the dining room, where he laid a plate on the table only to pick it up a second alter. "Shit, why are these plates still dirty?!"

"They're not dirty, I just washed them last night," Usopp said, glancing over his shoulder for just a moment before keeping his watch on the world outside.

"They've still got spots on them," Sanji grumbled. He cursed while scratching at one small spot on the plate, ignoring the part of him that said Usopp was right. "The old geezer will never let me live it down if this shit isn't done right."

"You've got it easy. You don't have to tell your father that you're defying the laws of biology by having a baby. I think I'm going to be sick…"

Sanji sighed, putting the plate on the table and approaching Usopp as the younger started pacing. The blond reached out and grabbed Usopp's hand, pulling him closer into a hug. "Calm down, you'll be fine. Your father is really accepting, so don't be nervous."

"You're forgetting why I'm the one breaking the news to him. If you're around when I tell him, he will probably kill you. Or threaten you again."

"Yeah, I wanna know what his usual threat would do. You're already pregnant."

Usopp stiffened at the sound of a car outside, pulling himself away to look out the window. "He's here! My dad's here!" he paled, hands on his stomach again. "Is it obvious? Do you think he'll know? What if he notices?"

"If you keep touching your stomach like that, the cat's out of the bag," Sanji said as he pulled Usopp's hands away and kissed his forehead. "Be calm, don't imply anything. I'll push you in the right direction if I have to."

Nodding, Usopp took a deep breath when his father knocked on the front door. Sanji walked back to the dining room to finish setting the table. The sound of Yasopp greeting and hugging his son was hard to ignore for Sanji, especially when Usopp yelped and complained something was sure to pop if Yasopp hugged him too hard

The noises of conversation quickly moved towards the dining room, Sanji putting a plate down just as someone touched his shoulder. "Hey blondie, what are your plans for the day? I won't bring Usopp back until late, so you're gonna be alone all day," Yasopp laughed.

"Actually, Zeff is coming by, hence the plates on the table," Sanji said. "By the way, thanks for agreeing to take Usopp out shopping. I feel better knowing someone's going with him."

Yasopp, standing in front of Usopp while the younger man grabbed for a jacket, gave Sanji a funny look as he crossed his arms. "It's a little weird that he asked me this time, especially since he usually prefers going with you," he said. "Usopp, what exactly are we going shopping for?"

"Umm… I have to get presents," Usopp mumbled. "Holidays are coming up."

"Oh, good point. Why didn't I think of that sooner?"

Sanji smirked, trying his hardest to resist stepping in as Yasopp grabbed Usopp around the shoulders and pulled him closer. Instead he turned to Usopp with a slight frown. "Don't push yourself too hard and rest if you need to. Don't starve yourself either. I'm still not pleased about skimping out on most of your breakfast, especially since you nearly made yourself sick an hour ago."

Yasopp gave Sanji a funny look once again as Usopp blushed at the mention of their most recent adventures with morning sickness. Usopp learned the hard way that his newest symptom wasn't just restricted to the morning, but if it reared again during their trip, he'd have to explain it somehow. "I-I'm fine, don't worry," Usopp said.

"You sure? Shopping when you feel like crap is never fun," Yasopp said. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"I'm fine now, don't worry about it," Usopp said, grabbing for Sanji to give him a hug. He squeezed a little bit tighter, threatening Sanji for almost spilling the beans when Yasopp looked away. "We'll be back later, hopefully after we get things done," he said as he kissed Sanji's cheek.

Sanji chuckled, kissing Usopp before Yasopp tried to pull him away. "Call me if you start feeling sick again. I'll call you if Zeff leaves before you get home."

"Does he not want to see your old man?" Yasopp asked.

"It's a case of timing," Sanji said. "Don't do anything crazy, make sure to call me."

"I will."

"Usopp, is he always this much of a mom?"

"… Dad, let's go."

XXXXX

"Seriously, what the hell have you and Sanji been up to? You guys have changed somehow, I can tell."

"Nothing has changed. Sanji's just being really overprotective since I wasn't feeling good this morning."

"You sure? You kind of look a little sickly."

Usopp averted his eyes and cursed to himself as he pulled his hand away from his stomach again, hoping Yasopp didn't catch it. "I'm just a little hungry, that's all! Sanji's right, I haven't eaten anything since early this morning."

Not sure he believed Usopp completely, Yasopp shrugged. "What's this stuff about having his old man over for dinner? Does he do that often?" Yasopp asked.

"He does every once in a while, mostly when he thinks it's a good idea to see him. Zeff's getting old, sometimes Sanji gets worried about his health," Usopp said, his voice dropping a bit as he lied.

"Hmm, I don't know if I can take you seriously. That sounds like your liar voice," Yasopp chuckled.

"Nonsense! I have no such thing!"

"You look like you're putting on a little bit of weight too. Sanji must be cooking a lot of good food for you!"

"He is a chef," Usopp said with the smallest hint of a nervous chuckle.

"So what are you planning to buy him this year?" Yasopp asked. "Anything will top the present last year, that's for sure! Who buys their future husband a new set of ties?"

"He liked the ties," Usopp pouted. "But this is the first Christmas we're spending as a married couple. Shouldn't we do something special?"

"What kind of special are you thinking?"

Usopp shrugged, thinking to himself that he already had something special for Sanji residing in his stomach. "Maybe something… child related. We-We plan on a-a-adopting kids, I could tell him I'm ready for it."

Yasopp was quiet, looking at Usopp out of the corner of his eye. "Already wanting kids? You two have only been married for a couple months, still getting used to married life. Think you can handle kids right now? Especially if you're feeling sick, it might be a good idea to wait."

"W-Well… I don't really want to wait," Usopp blushed. "M-Maybe it was a bad idea! I could get him some new kitchen knives. The ones he uses at work are getting dull fast."

"You've got time to think. Don't drive yourself crazy before we get to the mall," Yasopp said. "Just relax."

Usopp chuckled a bit, one hand touching his stomach to rub a small and soothing circle as he tried to follow his father's advice. "You know, when Sanji and I do a-adopt a kid, that'll make you a grandpa."

"Geez, me, a grandpa!" Yasopp laughed. "That'll be fun. I guess we'll have to wait and see how it works out." He reached across to tap Usopp on the shoulder with his first, oblivious to the heat forming on Usopp's cheeks. "Whatever happens, you and Sanji'll be great parents."

"Thanks Dad," Usopp said, silently boosting his own confidence with the help of Yasopp's words. "And… And whenever we do have a kid, you'll be the first to know."

"I better be! No keeping secrets from me, alright?" Yasopp asked. "I wanna know when, where, and what. You better tell me everything before you adopt and the kid walks through the front door."

Usopp agreed, a little nervous in his response, before mumbling under his breath. "Yeah, sure. You'll be the first one I call."

XXXXX

"Dinner again, eggplant? Didn't I come visit you and that boyfriend of yours a couple weeks ago?"

"He's my husband for God's sake and yes, but suck it up and come here anyway," Sanji growled. "You haven't had a chance to come visit since I got married, and quite frankly, it's a crying shame."

"But I stopped by not too long ago. I might not have been there for very long, but a visit's a visit."

Sanji sighed. "Usopp went out with his dad and I told him I'd have you come over and have lunch with me. I've… I've got something to show you," he said. "I've been… cooking lately and want you to see the results."

"Oh, you've got a new recipe for me to try? Why didn't you tell me you damn eggplant?" Zeff asked. Sanji heard him grumble at the other end, a little quiet at the mention of his old "baby eggplant" nickname. "Well then I guess I have no excuse. When do you want me there?"

"I'm ready for you, just come on over," Sanji said. "I'll see you soon, you geezer."

"Yeah, yeah, improve your manners until I get there!" Zeff exclaimed through the phone. Sanji heard the tial tone as he put the phone back on the receiver, a heavy sigh escaping his chest. He caught a glimpse of the ultrasound picture from Chopper out of the corner of his eye, walking closer to snatch it off the refrigerator door.

As far as pictures go, there wasn't much to see besides gray and black blotches. But Sanji found himself staring at it on more than one occasion. He could see the different shapes and outlines of a tiny human being with growing arms and legs, and it was always as breathtaking as the first time he saw it two weeks before.

"I wonder how different he looks now," Sanji muttered, putting the picture in his pocket. "Shit, I should ask for more time off."

Taking time off to go with Usopp to his appointments was just one of the things Sanji changed. Even though he couldn't promise a complete stop to his smoking habit just yet, he cut back to a couple packs a week, and he always ensured Usopp wasn't around when a cigarette sat between his fingers. He cooked healthier foods (or foods suggested by Chopper- which Usopp loved), he cut back on sexual advances, and he cuddled much more than he'd ever done. When Usopp returned from work exhausted or sprawled out on the couch to wait, Sanji always jumped at the chance to join him.

Even though they were both working- moresoe on Sanji's end due to Pagaya and Conis insisting that Usopp take more time off to rid himself of the bags under his eyes- they had no shortage of private time. And with Usopp approaching the end of his first trimester, it wasn't going to change.

Sanji pulled the ultrasound picture out of his pocket again, chuckling under his breath. "Guess I should think of what you're gonna call Zeff, considering he's technically my old geezer," he said. "Knowing Yasopp, he'll probably want something ridiculous. Zeff won't let me call him anything, but I never really wanted to."

He sat there, talking with the photograph as if it had ears, before shaking his head and going back to lunch preparations. His mind wondered back to Usopp, wondering how his own experiences were going as he jumped back into the kitchen.

XXXXX

"Usopp, are you sure you're alright? You can't run into a bathroom every five minutes if you're gonna hurl."

"I-I'm fine, just a little nauseous," Usopp groaned, his upper body hovering over the toilet bowl while gulping down the urge to vomit. He couldn't help it, the moment Yasopp stopped the car and killed the engine, Usopp all but ran to the nearest bathroom. Puking in a public restroom was enough to make him feel like vomiting again, even though the first attempt hadn't happened yet. "Oh… Don't worry, I just… I just ate something bad."

"Didn't blondie say you hadn't eaten all day?" Yasopp asked, tapping his fingers against his crossed arms at the sound of Usopp sniffling. "You getting hungry at all? When's the last time you had actual food, like something that's not a snack?"

'Last night, that's the last meal I've had,' Usopp thought. He quickly lost his dinner early in the morning before light even began to peak over the horizon, replacing it with dry toast in hopes of repressing the urge to upchuck again. Thankfully, the nauseating feeling started to waver, Usopp standing tall to take a deep breath. He mouthed the words to his own little pep talk and opened the stall door to walk out.

Yasopp, standing closer to the bathroom exit, gave his son a confused daze when Usopp washed his hands. "You didn't puke, did you?" he asked.

"No, Dad, I wear I'm fine. Don't worry about me until I throw up on some innocent bystander," Usopp said. "Besides, all of the times I've gotten sick are pretty much in the morning, it usually fades by noon."

His words earned a confused but easily amused eyebrow quirk, Yasopp giving his son a weird grin. "What, did you and Sanji have so much fun on the honeymoon that he knocked you up?" he laughed.

The flare of color across Usopp's cheeks could have easily been mistaken for embarrassment, which is what Usopp wanted Yasopp to believe considering he had to come up with a lie, quick. "What, no, why the hell does everyone joke about that?!" he asked in an attempt to mask the fact that Yasopp hit the nail on the head. "Freaking Nami said the same damn thing a couple weeks ago, are you two conspiring against me?"

"Hahaha, hey, I know nothing about what your friend says, but I've seen morning sickness before with your mom. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were pregnant, especially since you look like you've gained a few pounds," Yasopp said. "Sanji must be feeding you enough if you can gain a little weight."

Usopp heard his own voice say that it wasn't just a little in his head, but he kept his lips sealed and walked out of the bathroom with Yasopp in the lead. "So what'll it be, son? Do you wanna try eating something or head straight into the shopping? We've got all day."

"Let's go ahead and shop, get it out of the way," Usopp replied. "The sooner we get an idea of a present, the better." He didn't have the heart to tell his father that he planned on only scouting out an idea today instead of making any official purchases, what with the holidays so far away as it is, but he couldn't bring it upon himself to break the news to Yasopp just yet, even though he'd almost guessed it right off the bat.

When Yasopp brushed off the idea of buying a new set of kitchen knives again, Usopp's shoulders slumped. Yasopp instantly had a different suggestion though, a perverted grin gracing his face. "You two are married, and I'm sure he's not giving you much time to do anything other than sex anyway. Buy him a toy and suggest he use it on you."

"D-DAD!" Usopp exclaimed, face once again flushing a bright red. "Damn it, I'm starting to think shopping with you was a bad idea…"

"Hahaha! I'm only kidding, son! Relax and think outside the box," Yasopp chuckled. "But seriously, if you go with the toy, it's a gift you can both enjoy-"

"AND WE ARE DONE. I'm hungry, let's go to the food court!" Usopp said, throwing his hands in the air as he turned in the opposite direction. Yasopp laughed even harder and followed.

XXXXX

"Oi, eggplant. Expecting a phone call or are you just bored?"

Sanji blinked, looking up towards the opposite end of the dining room table where Zeff sat, in the middle of eating the meal Sanji had prepared. His own plate had already been cleared in his wait for a phone call, which really didn't bother him as much as he figured it should. Sanji wasn't much of a nervous eater, but he could put food away quickly at the first sign of anxiety. "Ah, no, not really. Usopp's out shopping with his father and he wasn't feeling so good, so I told him to call if he gets sick."

"Worried about your… what do you call him, wife? Husband?" Zeff asked, taking another bite between his words.

"He likes the word husband," Sanji chuckled. "And in a sense, yeah. He has some important news to tell Yasopp, I'm hoping it goes over well."

Zeff shoveled another bite of food into his mouth, grumbling an acknowledgement under his breath, while Sanji looked down at his phone again. "Aren't you… Aren't you going to ask what the big news is?" Sanji asked.

"Mmm?" Zeff paused, his mouth full, and held up one finger as he finished chewing and swallowed. "Why should I ask about it? It's not my place to pry in his information, quite frankly I could care less," he said.

"But he's my husband," Sanji said, watching Zeff continue to eat his dwindling meal. "And anything that happens to him happens to me. You're not curious in the slightest?"

Zeff shook his head. "No one is getting hurt, right? You can take care of yourself, eggplant, don't depend on me holding your hand if your significant other has something going on."

The older cook's arguments made Sanji groan, his head thrown back. He had almost expected Zeff's nonchalant and seemingly distant views on what Sanji thought of as a very important life event, but knowing that he was right seemed a little too realistic for his own good. "What if I told you we're all effected by the news?" he asked, head coming up to look Zeff in the eye.

"What do you mean 'we?' How does this news have any effect on me, or anyone else for that matter?" Zeff asked. "Your little lovebird isn't in some kind of trouble is he?"

"No, no trouble," Sanji said. He leaned forward a bit, his arms crossing and laying on the table. "But this bit of news changes lives. It's bringing big changes for Usopp and I, but it effects our loved ones."

Sanji's words had Zeff intrigued, the older cook also leaning forward on his arms after all of his food had been eaten. "What are you and Usopp doing, eggplant? Moving? Splitting up? Thinking about futures?" he asked.

"No, no, and somewhat, yes," Sanji said. "We've done a lot of thinking in the past few weeks, mostly because-"

Sanji's phone buzzed once against the table, catching their attention for a moment. Sanji pulled it closer to himself, checking the screen and letting his eyebrows bunch together. "Huh, that's weird," he said.

"What's that? No phone call from your husband?" Zeff asked.

"No, it's a text," Sanji said. "Says it's from Usopp, but it looks like a bunch of random letters and some numbers."

"Maybe he's sending you a message from his pocket," Zeff laughed.

Sanji shrugged, putting the phone back into his pants pocket. "I'll call him in a moment. We were in the middle of something."

"Yes we were," Zeff said. "You mentioned you two have been talking a lot, mind telling me what you've been talking about?"

"As a matter of fact, it might be easier to just show you something, might help you understand the situation," Sanji said. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out the ultrasound photo, holding it towards Zeff with a bit of a smile on his face. "This might answer all of your questions, at least I hope it does. Go ahead and take a look."

XXXXX

"Alright, you've been fed, your illness seems to be gone, and you've looked through a couple stores. No gift idea yeat?"

Usopp shrugged as he followed his father through the mall. "It's just not coming to me this year," he explained. "My mind keeps drawing a blank when I try to think of a present idea."

"Huh. Well… I dunno what to tell you son," Yasopp said, eyes searching for an answer among the stores.

'It's understandable why I can't come up with anything, I'm too busy trying to figure out how to break the news about my parenthood!' Usopp thought, aware of his trembling knees and shaking hands, which hovered a little too close to his abdomen. With his heart and mind racing at a mile a minute, Usopp started to wonder if his nervousness was obvious to the naked eye.

Usopp faltered a little as he walked, grabbing Yasopp's attention long enough to make him realize that something wasn't quite right. "You alright Usopp? You still seem a little out of it," he said, his head cocked to the side just a bit in curiosity.

"F-Fine! I just got caught up in my thoughts," Usopp replied, laughing to himself and rubbing the back of his head in hopes of bringing down Yasopp's suspicion.

"You sure? You're rubbing your stomach again."

Usopp let out a choked-back scream as his eyes went wide, making Yasopp jump back in shock while Usopp's face turned red. Both hands were resting on his stomach now, fingers gripping just enough to stretch the fabric of his shirt a bit.

Yasopp, recovering with one hand grabbing the fabric of his jacket over his heart, gave Usopp a suspicious look as he moved a little closer. "What the hell is going on with you? You've been acting weird and jumpy almost all day, and you look like something just embarrassed you. That scream isn't helping your case," he said.

His mouth forming into a squiggly line, Usopp gulped as his eyes darted around to find a solution. "I-I-I just… I just remembered something!" he said, trying his hardest to muster up the best fake smile he could. "I've gotta pick up a present for someone else."

Confusion crossed Yasopp's face, making him eager to know just what his son had to do that made him react like that. "Well, who is it for?"

"Ah-uh," Usopp mumbled. His fingers played with the fabric under his shirt, attracting Yasopp's attention and making him glare a little harder. "My-My friend is h-h-having a baby soon, and she said we didn't have to come, but she is having a b-baby shower and Sanji and I wanna buy her a present. J-Just something she could use…"

They were quiet for a moment, both starting each other down with hope and suspicion and questions. Yasopp sighed, slumping his shoulders as he smirked a bit. "If that's the case, then you don't have to freak out. Geez, you nearly gave me a damn heart attack, I thought you'd hurt yourself or something," he said.

Usopp let a sigh of relief escape his chest while his grip on his clothes loosened.. "Haha, ah, sorry. I just got… a little carried away," he laughed. "But uhm… could you help me pick something out?"

"Of course," Yasopp said, pulling Usopp closer and throwing an arm around his shoulder. "Your mother wanted nothing but clothes for you, so let's get your friend some of those one piece shirts that her kid might outgrow within the first month. Where should we look?"

"How about that store?" Usopp asked, pointing towards a place colored with pastel colors and filled with nothing but baby items. Both men seemed rather nervous at the idea, noting that a majority of the shoppers were heavily pregnant women, but Yasopp nodded and lead the way.

After being greeted by one of the workers, who looked like she was ready to burst as well, they made their way back to the main clothing section. It was mostly empty, a few customers clearing the way when they walked closer, giving them full access to the clothes that fit smaller babies.

Usopp blinked at the crazy assortment, a little red in the face. It dawned on him that whatever he might purchase would go to his newborn child, not the make believe one his father believed in. It was for his baby, the one tucked away to grow in his body.

He could feel his heart speed up, eyes watching Yasopp pull a couple from the stock, and he hardly heard his father through the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears. "Does your friend know the gender yet?" Yasopp asked.

"Huh? Oh! Uh, no, sh-she said she… wanted it to be a surprise," Usopp replied, gulping as one hand returned to his stomach. "B-But some of these look really nice. Like this one."

Usopp reached out and grabbed a soft yellow shirt, the words "it took 9 months to look this good" written across the front. It was small, barely fitting in his two hands, but he couldn't quite let it go.

"Haha, that looks like a good choice, son. See any other ones you'd like to grab?" Yasopp asked. "Ooh, look at this one! It's got a duck on the front. Kids like ducks."

"Mmm," Usopp mumbled, grabbing the shirt from his father to get a better look. He could feel himself float towards his own little world, one where he realized even deeper that he was going to be a parent.

"Oh, shoot, I'll go find a hand basket. Probably should've snagged it when we walked in," Yasopp said, clapping his hand on Usopp's shoulder before walking away with a promise that he would return.

Usopp, left alone with the shirts, suddenly had a light bulb flicker on in his brain. He looked at the clothes in his hands, then at the expanding bump across his midsection. With his heartbeat still ringing in his ears, Usopp looked around before holding the yellow shirt against his stomach.

At his size, there wasn't much difference between his pregnant stomach and his normally flat stomach. But the shirt poked out a bit, showing signs of growth under his skin. It took Usopp a moment to breathe normally, breath coming out in shirt pants, but he smiled a little as he chuckled. 'There is something… that's gonna grow and be this size inside me. This… This is in my stomach. Holy shit…'

"Usopp, I found a basket right around the- what are you doing?"

Usopp nearly dropped the shirts to the floor, face bright red once again. "I-I was folding it," he lied, using his stomach to hold the shirt up while his hands worked to make it a little bit smaller. "I usually fold things that way at home, I just forgot where I was."

Yasopp raised an eyebrow, keeping quiet as Usopp grabbed a couple pieces of baby clothes and added them to the two he already held. "I think I'll get these. F-For my friend," Usopp said.

"Alright, well let's get going. You ready to go home?" Yasopp asked.

"Yeah. Let's go."

They walked to the cashiers, conversed with the same worker that greeted them when they walked in, then left the store with a bag full of baby clothes in hand. The boys were mostly quiet as they walked back to the car, Usopp complaining of a possible but not quite urgent need to use the restroom that could wait until they got home. They were back on the road to go home in just a few moments.

With the bag between his feet, Usopp couldn't help but smile. He let his mind wonder to what Sanji would think of the clothes, and he started to picture what his child might look like in the shirts he'd picked out, forgetting the point of their shopping trip when he started imagining himself and Sanji as parents.

Yasopp's voice pulled him out of his daze. "Those clothes… They're not for a friend are they?" he asked.

Usopp, who thought for sure his heart had stopped, could almost feel the color drain from his face when reality struck and his memory slammed him. He stopped breathing for a second, the nausea from earlier making a subtle reoccurrence. Mouth dry, caught in a lie, Usopp wasn't sure how to recover. "Wh-Wh-Wha-"

"Don't lie to me son. Tell me the truth."

He couldn't breathe, throat constricting in fear. His mind went blank as he tried to come up with an excuse. 'No Dad, it's not for a friend, it's for someone I work with. I was just-'

"What makes you think I'm lying?" Usopp asked. "What makes you assume it's not a gift for my friend?" 'How did you see through my lies?'

"It's pretty damn obvious, Usopp. You've been acting weird all day, not to mention the circumstances. You asked me to go shopping with you, Sanji's having lunch with his old man, you pretty much look like something is up," Yasopp stated, only looking away from the road when he pulled up to a red light. He stared at Usopp, demanding the truth while his mouth and words asked politely. "C'mon Usopp, you can tell me the truth. Who did you buy the baby clothes for?"

Usopp looked at his father as he gathered the nerves to speak. He took a moment to take a few deep breaths, gaze shifting from Yasopp to the clothes between his feet. Finally he let out a nervous breath and nodded. "Don't freak out. Please, please, just keep a level head when I tell you this," he said.

"Son, I won't freak out alright? You can tell me the truth, don't worry," Yasopp said. "Spill the beans already. What's going on?"

Usopp nodded without thinking, both hands pulling his jacket back to expose his stomach. The truth poured out of his mouth without a second thought, his ability to hold back completely lost.

XXXXX

They were completely silent, one analyzing a photo while the other waited for his response. Sanji, sitting patiently with a cigarette between his fingers, couldn't quite bring himself to smoke it just yet, he had to wait for Zeff to speak up first.

"So eggplant, mind telling me what exactly I'm looking at here? It just looks like a bunch of gray and black blotches to me and I'm just not seeing anything special," Zeff said, turning the picture everyway possible while squinting.

"You're kidding, right?" Sanji asked, putting his cigarette in the nearest ashtray and leaning forward to send a half hearted glare at his cooking mentor. "Don't tell me you've never seen one of these things before, old geezer."

"I haven't," Zeff said in a blunt and almost monotone voice. "It just looks like some messed up photograph to me. Why? What am I supposed to see in this mess?"

"Let me have it," Sanji said, standing up to place the photo on the table. He leaned forward to hover just a bit, Zeff's eyes still stuck on the picture in front of him while Sanji pointed to specific spots. "See the lighter gray spot here?"

"Hmm… oh, yes, what does that have to with anything though? Is that what I'm supposed to be looking for?" Zeff asked.

"Yeah, this is an ultrasound picture," Sanji said. "That is a baby, right where the light gray blob is."

Zeff raised an eyebrow at Sanji as he looked up. "Why do you have a picture of a baby like this? I thought women having babies had pictures, not a man that just got married to his boyfriend a couple months back."

Sanji sighed through his nose, snapping when Zeff suggested he'd been cheating. "It's my kid, but I'm faithful you shitty old man!" he exclaimed.

"Then how can this be your child? If you're not sleeping with a woman, this child can't be yours!"

"Argh, I should've known this wasn't going to be easy," Sanji growled to himself. "If you need me to spell it out for you, then say so! Usopp is-"

The last bit of Sanji's sentence was cut off at the sound of car doors slamming and raised voices. "No, dad, wait! Don't storm into my house like that-"

"I'm gonna kill him Usopp, I don't know how or what he's told you, but I'm gonna kill him! Or maybe cut off his balls!"

"That's not going to help anything if I'm already- STOP!"

Sanji and Zeff heard the front door open and watched as Usopp and Yasopp all but ran into the house and nearly ran towards Sanji, twisting around each other to stop the other from going further. Sanji, noticing the angry look in Yasopp's eyes, jumped behind the dining room table.

Yasopp was the first one to speak up, tugging on Usopp's arms wrapped tight around his torso. "Oi, blondie!? What is this I hear about you knocking up my son? Are you being serious or is this some sick little joke you're playing?" he asked.

"Joke? How can it be a joke, you've been seeing the signs right?" Sanji asked.

"Sanji, wait a sec, let me handle it!"

"There's no way you can get him pregnant, blond bastard! It's not humanly possible-"

"Funny, I think that's what the doctor said."

"I'm gonna cut off your balls for saying shit like that-"

"What's it gonna do?! He's already pregnant!"

"Dad, there's something you need to see in the kitchen, let's go-"

"Ah, actually if you're looking for-"

"Oh, wait, I see it."

Zeff, still seated at the dinner table, stood up amongst the chaos and gave them all a disapproving glare. The others weren't paying attention, Yasopp reaching across the table with Usopp holding him back and Sanji trying to reach for the ultrasound picture without getting within grabbing distance of Usopp's father. Zeff intervened between the father and son on one side, pulling Usopp far enough away to keep him out of the way of Sanji and Yasopp chasing each other around the table.

Confused, Usopp looked at Zeff and almost completely ignored the argument between Yasopp and Sanji. "Ah, Zeff? What are you doing?"

He received no verbal answer as Zeff took a closer look at him, mostly focusing on his stomach. "Z-Zeff? What are- HEY!"

Zeff cut off his words by lifting Usopp's shirt and leaning in close to inspect Usopp's stomach. He chuckled a bit at Usopp's inability to speak up, the other man blushing a furious red and eyes a little wide. "So the eggplant is right, huh?" he asked himself, laughing a little more under his breath and standing up straight again. "Hey, Yasopp."

"Huh?" Yasopp asked, letting Sanji run ahead a little bit further.

"Looks like you and I are going to be grandparents, seems my shitty eggplant somehow managed to get your son pregnant," Zeff said.

The silence settled in for only a moment, Yasopp nearly jumping at the first chance. "Wait a second, how can you tell? Do you cooks have some kind of magic trick you use to tell when someone's having a baby?"

Sanji had to resist the urge to jump in and scold Yasopp, but Zeff stepped in with the ultrasound picture extended towards Yasopp. "Sanji showed me this. I didn't know it at first glance, but he says it's their baby, and it looks pretty neat if you ask me."

Yasopp reached out for the picture, looking at it for a moment before his eyes went wide. "H-How far are you?" he asked while looking at Usopp.

"About 11 weeks," Usopp said, hands on his stomach to emphasize his point.

They all stood around in silence for a moment, letting the information sink in. Sanji noted the shopping bag hanging from Usopp's arm, walking a little closer before asking for the answer. "What's in the bag?"

"Oh, uh, well," Usopp blushed. He pulled the bag off his arm to peek inside for a moment before smiling at Sanji. "It's-"

"We bought shirts, for the baby," Yasopp said, smiling wide while handing the picture to Usopp. Then he turned to Sanji with a smile. "Honestly, Usopp, he'd been lying to me the entire time we were out. He told me these were some friend having a baby."

"I'm glad you're not going to threaten me anymore," Sanji muttered with a smirk as he walked closer, arm wrapping around Usopp's waist as one hand opened the bag. "Baby clothes already? Well what did you get?"

"Oh wait, you have to see the one he found first. It's a pretty neat looking one."

"Ah, Dad, you're gonna make me drop the bag, hold on!"

XXXXX

A few hours later, when Yasopp and Zeff finally decided to leave, Usopp and Sanji nearly crashed on the couch. Both of them practically flopped into a seat, Usopp a little more careful and taking time to lie across the couch and in Sanji's lap. Sanji chuckled, hand falling on Usopp's head to push some of his hair out of his face. "It's about time they left, I honestly thought they'd never leave after we told them you're pregnant," Sanji said.

"I know. Geez, do you know how hard it was to tell Dad about it?" Usopp asked. "I didn't spill the beans until we were on our way home! I was too nervous."

"Yeah, well, Zeff wasn't much easier. I had to point out the baby on the ultrasound picture and he still didn't seem to get it," Sanji said, hand traveling down Usopp's side to rest on his stomach a bit. "Speaking of, I take it you're feeling better?"

"Psh! No, for some reason, the drive there was so crazy that I nearly threw up. I'm surprised I didn't come close when we were on our way home, I think Dad drove about ten miles over the speed limit," Usopp said. "He didn't really take the news about me being pregnant very well."

"No, he seemed to take it, he just couldn't accept the fact that I'm partially at fault," Sanji laughed. "How much you wanna bet he'll threaten to castrate me again in the next month?"

Usopp groaned. "If he does, then what'll we do? It's not gonna stop you from trying to have sex with me, it just means we can't have another kid. How we're having this one still surprises me though."

"We're just that good," Sanji beamed, holding head high with his nose in the air for a brief moment of superiority.

"Yeah, yeah, or maybe you just have weird swimmers," Usopp said, laughing when Sanji grumbled and tickled his side as a sort of punishment. "Stop it, stop it! I'm hungry and that tickles and I wanna go get food!"

"If you weren't carrying my child I might force you to skip the meal and punish you," Sanji said, his fingers pinching Usopp's rear as he moved a little bit closer. "I'll show you weird swimmers, I think you and I need to remedy the fact that sex causes cramps for you, and I think I know of a way to stop them."

"Nooo… After the number of times we had sex when we first got married, I think we're good," Usopp said. He started to sit up, mumbling something about wanting to eat something before Sanji found a way to distract him, as Sanji groaned. "Shouldn't we make dinner?"

"You must be really hungry if you wanna help me," Sanji said, pulling himself off the couch as Usopp walked towards the kitchen. "Didn't you get a bite to eat when you were out with your dad? You know, if you're not eating your meals properly, Chopper's gonna get on you and I'm gonna keep you in bed until you can't eat anymore."

Usopp rolled his eyes but gasped when Sanji grabbed him in a hug from behind and started to nibble on his ear. He tried to push him away but Sanji's arms were too strong, the cook carefully lifting him off the ground and threatening to carry him to the bedroom. Usopp demanded food, Sanji laughing at Usopp's promise that they could maybe try something later, but first he had to feed his grumbling stomach and child. Sanji only teased him more as he walked towards the kitchen.