CHAPTER 21:CONFESSION
"SEV, BREAKFAST IS READY!" called a cheerful female voice from inside the house.
It was the thirty-first of August eight o'clock in the morning. Ever since Severus learned Reinforcement, the white-haired her had been leaving him to study magecraft on his own.
Flashback
It was the 30th of August.
"Now, then Sev," said Ilya, in her 'Professor Emiya' voice. "I have now taught you the essential basics of my kind of magic, as far as I can tell. My role as your teacher in magecraft ends here for now."
"What do you mean?" inquired the raven-haired boy, surprise in his tone. He could not believe his ears. There was a lot more Severus wanted to learn about, including how to shoot scorching black balls of light and setting up Bounded Fields.
"It means that you will have to do your own magecraft training for the time being," replied the white haired girl.
Severus was about to say something in response, but the white-haired girl raised her hand to stop him.
"We have now succeeded in two objectives," said Ilya. "First, and the most crucial of all, is that we managed to awaken you Magic Circuits. Second, we now know that you have an elemental affinity to wind."
The white-haired girl took a deep breath, then continued.
"However, Sev, teaching magecraft on any of the elements is something which I am not capable of doing," said Ilya, her voice honest and sincere. "I taught you Reinforcement because it is one of the basics, and it is the only spell I know which you can learn from me. I'm sorry Sev, but from this point on, you're on your own."
"But what about that spell you call Gandr? Sword Projection? And that Bounded Field you put around the house?" inquired Severus. He was feeling rather disappointed.
"Projection is something I can teach you, but it will be basically pointless," began the white-haired girl in her 'Professor Emiya' voice. "While it is true that I am able to produce near-perfect copies of swords because of my Elemental Affinity, I am unable to do so with anything else. If I try recreating anything else using projection, it will look the same only on the outside, but it will nothing more than a shell. Also, I believe you already have a branch of magic which deal with something similar, called Transfiguration, and even I am amazed with the results when I used it, especially Conjuring, although I have not yet fully grasped its concept."
The raven-haired boy nodded, as he realized these aspects.
The white-haired girl then continued.
"A Bounded Field, on the other hand, follows a very similar concept to your wards," said the white-haired girl. "This is something you can learn from your Charms subject. And in fact, I am studying your ways of placing protection to territories, and I actually read an interesting one called the Fidelius Charm, which apparently renders an area completely undetectable."
The white-haired girl once again took a deep breath then continued.
"As for Gandr, it will take some time to learn, and I might teach it to you later on," said the white-haired girl. "For now though, I want you to focus on learning spells related to your Elemental Affinity, wind, which unfortunately, I cannot teach you anything about."
"How am I supposed to learn then?" inquired Severus, feeling slightly saddened.
"Well, for starters, you can look up spells in textbooks," said Ilya, and at this, she actually smiled. "And besides, you yourself are already very similar to a standard magus. For one thing, magi normally invents spells and then pass it down to the next generation, and I know for a fact that you have been inventing your own spells, Sev."
"What? What do you mean?" The raven-haired boy was stunned. He had not told Ilya about his little hobby yet.
"Flipendo? Bombarda? Levicorpus? Sectumsempra?" said Ilya, with a note of admiration in her voice. "I've never seen those in the books before… well, I have, but they were scribbled in your handwriting."
"But, but… I didn't" Severus began, feeling half-stunned, half-embarassed with the apparent praise he was receiving.
"Oh, don't be so modest, Sev," said the white haired girl, her tone slightly snappish. "I know you have been making spells of your own. And in case you haven't noticed, all of them have something to do with your Elemental Affinity."
A sudden realization came upon Severus. 'She's right,' thought the raven-haired boy.
"Anyway, Sev, I have one bit of advice for you," said ilya seriously. "When you cast magic, do it wordlessly. It seems that some of your magic spells can easily be copied if the incantation is known. I do not know exactly why, but it is possible to unconsciously grasp the concept and workings of some spells and use it, even if it is not known consciously, and it is easily done if the words are read or heard. Perhaps it is because the words are related to the core concept of the spell, I do not know yet for sure. But I for one managed to cast a number of your type of spells on reflex, simply by knowing the incantation, even before, and in fact even without fully understanding how they worked," the girl finished.
"I see," replied Severus nodded, keeping a mental note on the 'always cast magic wordlessly' detail. It will definitely help him in preventing anyone (specially the Marauders) from stealing his spells and using it against its inventor.
"Anyway, Sev…here," said the white-haired girl, as she handed Severus a piece parchment.
"What is it?" the raven-haired boy inquired, seeing that it was blank.
"It is your new training schedule," said Ilya. "You will be going back to Hogwarts tomorrow, after all,, and I've made that schedule so that it would not interfere with your other education. To read, continuously supply the parchment with prana. I would advise you though, not to overload it, or else it will burn. You can consider it as another part of your training..."
End of Flashback
-BREAK-
(Severus POV)
"Thanks for the food," said Ilya, as she picked up her spoon and began to eat.
It was now the 31st of August, the day when the Hogwarts Express would take students to the school of witchcraft and wizardry for the new term.
Normally, Severus would have been thrilled to go back. He hated the summer vacations. He hated the fact that he had to go back to Spinner's End, hated the fact that he could not use magic at his house, hated the fact that he even had to go back to his hell-hole of a house, where nothing awaited him but poverty, wretchedness, and the recollection of painful memories. And he hated the fact that he had to leave school, which felt more like a home than his own house ever did.
For the first time in his life, Severus Snape was not looking forward to going back to Hogwarts. In fact, had Ilya not reminded him, he would not have remembered. He had completely forgotten all about it.
In the past month, his house at Spinner's End had undergone remarkable changes. Although its built and interior was still the same, the house no longer felt gloomy. The house, the books, the furniture, well cleaned and well-maintained. There was good food waiting for him during mealtimes. There was also a Bounded Field which protected his house now, and Severus is now able to practice his magic spells without alerting the prejudiced Ministry thanks to it.
However, none of these benefits and conveniences held much relevance, as far as the raven-haired boy was concerned. True, the raven-haired boy like these changes, but the real reason why Severus was not looking forward to going back to Hogwarts…
was because of Ilya.
Severus, had in fact, wanted to talk to the silver-haired girl about it, about not going back. But he couldn't. The white-haired girl worked hard on making a new training schedule him. She had even helped him pack his things. If only he had done it earlier, if only he had remembered earlier. But now, he didn't have the courage to tell the girl, for after helping him with everything, he would sound ungrateful, so he just kept quiet.
His house now felt more comfortable, but Hogwarts was by far bigger and more interesting. The food was good, but the food served by the Hogwarts house elves was also delicious. He could now perform magic at his house, and it now had a good defense against intruders, but these conveniences were also present at Hogwarts, and there he would not have any problem because casting magic would have been completely legal.
No, the real reason why he did not want to go back to Hogwarts because now, his house at Spinner's end truly felt like home. No, it wasn't even the house, the magic, the benefits, it wasn't his home. The honest truth was…
Ilya was his home. It did not matter where they were. It would not even matter if he could not perform magic. Even if they had nothing to eat save for some old cookies, Severus would have still been satisfied, as long as she is there, it will feel like home. For Severus, Ilya is his one and true home.
I wish I didn't have to go back. I wish I didn't have to leave Ilya behind, thought Severus. Because Ilya…
Because for Severus, Ilya is his everything. For Severus, Ilya is his whole world. Because Ilya…
is the person I love, thought the raven-haired boy.
-BREAK-
(Severus POV)
He was standing on the yard facing the road. The raven-haired young man, in a whim, decided that he would rather take an ordinary bus than travel by Floo to London.
It was now time for him to leave Spinner's End. Severus had been looking for the perfect moment to tell Ilya how he felt all this time, but he just couldn't find one, nor did he have enough courage to do so.
"Sev," said a female voice behind her. Severus spun around to face her.
It was Ilya, her face illuminated in the sunlight, her silvery-white hair flowing gently with the wind. She was undoubtedly there to see him off.
Severus did not even bother to take one last look at his house, for his eyes were fixed only on the white-haired girl, only on the person who made him truly felt like he was home, only on Ilya.
"Ilya…I...I…I…" the raven-haired young man stammered.
"Hmmm?" the while-haired girl mused in an inquiring voice, as she smiled gently at him.
The raven-haired man continued to stammer. There was something that he wanted to say, but he did not know how to say it. He just stood there, frozen.
"Is there something you wanted to tell me?" asked Ilya in a slightly confused and worried voice, having noticed that something was bothering him, looking more radiant and beautiful than ever, more beautiful than anything Severus had ever seen in his entire life. "Sev, you know you can tell me an…mmmm?!"
Without thinking, his mind having completely shut off for a moment, reacting solely on the push of his heart, the raven-haired young man moved towards the white-haired girl and kissed her, a long passionate kiss.
After a while, enough part of Severus' dormant mind had returned, as he slowly broke off the kiss.
"Sev?" asked Ilya, whose pale face now had a bright red tinge on it.
"I LOVE YOU!" the raven-haired young man confessed, his heart still dominating his mind. Then, without saying anything else, he turned away from the white-haired girl and ran, as fast he could, so that he would forget the pain of having to leave her behind.
-BREAK-
(Severus POV)
I said it…I actually managed to say it! the raven-haired boy thought to himself. I finally managed to say it, but…
Suddenly Severus placed his hand over his mouth…
I kissed her…thought Severus, as he remembered how he, without warning, without asking for permission, locked lips with Ilya. She might hate me now…
A lot of thoughts passed through the raven-haired young man's head, not even noticing where he was going, each and every one of said thoughts were about the white-haired girl, who had suddenly come into his life, and who he now had to leave behind…
She'll be fine though… thought the raven-haired boy. She may be a girl, but she's strong...
The raven-haired man, while still in a daze, had now passed through the barrier between Platforms nine and ten, stepping into Platform nine and three quarters, his body apparently directing itself. The train was already there.
Severus was still occupied with his thoughts, but managed to find himself an empty compartment, where he sat down and looked out of the window absentmindedly.
She's fine…she's definitely fine… thought the raven-haired young man. Ilya can take care of herself…she'll be fine even if she is left alone…
Unbidden thoughts and images suddenly flashed through Severus' mind,
"I don't have a home…"
A frail-looking girl, all alone, in a frozen forest...wolves lurking…a cold hell…
"I don't have a home. I don't have a family, although I had one before, but it's gone now."
A white-haired girl… eating all by herself… tears falling down her eyes while trying to keep a smile on her face to keep herself from breaking down…
"My mother, my father, my brother, my friends, everyone in the world who ever loved me, everyone in the world I ever cared for, dead,"
The raven-haired young man was awakened from his daze. His senses were back, fear and anxiety for Ilya along with it, as he remembered…
"I don't know…" said Ilya seriously. "I'm all alone now, so I might as well hang myself or jump off the nearest bridge. Though stabbing myself in the heart or drinking poison are also good options…"
…
"In fact, I believe that killing myself would probably be the best course of action. I don't have any reason to keep on living, and I prefer a swift death compared to a slow one from depression and starvation."
…
"Thank you…" said a white-haired girl, smiling at Severus, from the bottom of her heart.
Without another thought, forgetting that his things were inside the train compartment, Severus stood up, his destination set for his house at Spinner's End, where Ilya was…
What the hell was I thinking leaving Ilya alone!? Severus thought to himself. If anything happened to her, I'll never be able forgive myself!
But before Severus could so much as open the door of his compartment, it burst open…
The raven-haired boy stood frozen, shocked as he saw, that standing on the doorway…
"You…" said a female voice carrying a note of anger.
Was a white-haired girl, panting, gasping for breath, fuming, at the raven-haired boy.
"You... how dare you… leaving in such a way…leaving me behind…you…you…"
Severus braced himself, knowing what was coming…
"YOU IDIOTTTTT!" screamed Ilya at the top of her voice.
-BREAK-
(Severus POV)
"What, you mean to say you were accepted to Hogwarts?" Severus asked incredulously.
It took a while to calm down Ilya, who kept on screaming at the raven-haired boy for leaving her behind. Severus was forced to cast a Privacy Ward (which thankfully he had just managed to learn the day before) around them to prevent a scandalous situation.
"Yes, I was," said the white haired girl, who was now sitting beside Severus, but still fuming. "I will be starting on fifth year, I think."
"But how?" inquired the raven-haired boy.
"Does it even matter?" the white-haired girl snapped, making Severus wince. "All I know is that you suddenly ran out on me… if I hadn't run into Evelyn I might not have been able to make it in time!"
"Evelyn?"
"Oh yes, she's also starting at Hogwarts this year, first year," replied Ilya, her voice slightly gentler. "Evelyn and her brother Rufus. It was them who showed me how to get to the Platform and onto the train…no thanks to a certain someone…"
"But I didn't know," the raven-haired boy stammered.
"You didn't know?" fumed the white-haired girl. "Didn't I tell you yesterday evening? And I also told you this morning… You didn't even bother to wait for me!"
A painful silence passed between them…
"What do you have to say for yourself, Sev?" said the white-haired, finally breaking the silence. "And where were you about to run off to when I entered this compartment?"
"I'm sorry," said Severus, quietly but sincerely. "I…I really didn't know…I…I was actually about to leave the train and head home…"
"Head home?" inquired the white-haired girl. "But why? You forgot something?"
"Yes, I did," said Severus sincerely. "I forgot something there that was too precious to me, even more precious than my life, for me to leave behind."
"But the train's about to leave," said Ilya. "If it's that important to you…"
"No there's no need for that," said the raven-haired boy, managing a small smile. "That something precious I was looking for, is already here with me."
Another moment of silence passed.
"I see," said the white-haired girl in an even tone, apparently not noticing what the raven-haired boy meant.
Now that Ilya seemed to have finally calmed down, Severus decided to ask about how she managed to get herself admitted to Hogwarts.
"So, Ilya," the raven-haired boy began. "How did y…mmmm?!"
But Severus was unable to finish his sentence, as the white-haired girl suddenly locked her lips with his own, sharing a passionate kiss, as the Hogwarts Express whistled and rumbled, slowly starting to move.
"That was payback for what you did earlier," muttered the white-haired girl, as she finally withdrew from her sudden attack. "You didn't really think I'd let you get away with stealing a kiss from me now, did you? And that was my first kiss too, you know."
Severus just looked at Ilya, unable to speak, all his thought processes at a standstill.
A moment's silence passed, and then…
"Oh, and by the way, Sev," said Ilya, her face red. "You did not wait for me to give a reply to what you told me earlier this morning… I guess you should know…"
"…I love you too."
The raven-haired boy could only stare, an unsaid happiness swelling in his heart, as the white-haired girl smiled at him, a smile radiating with joyous acceptance of Severus' feelings. Their feelings were mutual…
Without waiting for him to recover, Ilya had once again locked her lips with the raven-haired boy's…
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN!?" roared a male voice.
Severus and Ilya, half-surprised, and half-irritated that someone had chosen to rudely interrupt them with such timing, broke off, then turned around to see who the intruder was…
Standing on the doorway of the train compartment, with his messy jet-black hair, his hazel eyes wide with shock, beneath a pair of oversized glasses…
was James Potter…
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Another chapter out, then people... Though seriously as I have a lot of work piling up I might not be able to update this often anymore, though I will try to do at least once a week.
Anyway... HAPPY NEW YEAR! Oh, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. This is actually the end of the first arc which I call the Summer Arc. Next will be the Autumn Arc... Severus in 6th year, while Ilya is in 5th year...
Later then, people...