Chapter 5 - Opening Up

I'm sorry for the lack of addage but my life is really hectic at the moment.

Also apologies I know the last chapter was a bit confusing but hopefully everything should clear up in the next few chapters.

As promised Katuium. This is for all those who continue reading. I'm not too happy with this one but I hope you enjoy!

Brax's P.O.V

I was sat in the office at work; I was going through the events that happened last week, two people dead, one run away and a police sergeant that had gone into hiding. Charlie had not come to work, I don't know what happened but something had definitely sent her into shock mode. Something had made her forget her natural police instincts and she was unable to do her job. When the first shot was fired, I did think either me or Charlie had been shot but when one of the men started to run away I noticed it was the women that they were dragging had been shot. I ran after the other guy and left Charlie there, I hadn't noticed her rigid stance.

As I followed the run away, within an arm's reach, I was going to lunge and grab him but then I heard another gunshot, I had to contemplate whether to continue chasing or go back and see who had been shot.

I ran back to where Charlie was and when I saw her kneeling on the floor, my heart immediately sank, had she been shot? Her arms were in the air and the tears were cascading down her face. I ran up to her shouting for her to respond to me. She just continued looking forward blankly. I looked over and saw that she had no gun shots, we had bullet proof vests on anyway but there was no sign of blood. This was so confusing why was she crying? And who had been shot. I scanned the area and then I noticed where the women laid dead, a man laid next to her presumably dead. I walked up to his lifeless body and noticed that he had shot himself in the head. Charlie surely couldn't have shot him because the wound was close range. Why would he kill the women and then himself? I'm sure he could have taken on Charlie, surely she wasn't a threat.

We both were due to see the inspector and tell him about the night but for that I needed Charlie to return to work.

-x-

I got home to find Casey and Ruby on the couch,

''Hey rubes, how's Charlie, she not been in to work''

''oh yeah she's okay, not her normal self but okay, she not leaving the house and both me and Angelo have tried talking to her...it's weird coz she won't let anyone near her'' I could tell Ruby had trailed off at the last bit and was talking to herself.

''Oh okay'' my voice feigned concern but I didn't want to make it obvious so I walked to my bedroom.

-x-

I could not get her out of my head; it was like she was settled in my eyes, the answers to all my dreams. I shot out of the house and involuntarily I started walking towards her house, my actions all taking me in one direction… to her.

The wind was gently blowing neither lively nor fragrant, I advanced towards the lane of her house; I just wanted to meet her, see if she is okay.

For the first time in my life I was unsure about what I was about to do, I stood at her doorstep, I lifted my hand only to put it down again. I was going to walk again and before I could make the decision the door flung open and disappointment hit me.

''Hi Darryl''

''Hey'' I replied, he obviously was on his way out as he had his keys in his hand, ''I just came to see how Charlie was, she's not been to work''

''yeah she's not been too good… I'm sorry without being rude or anything but I do need to dash'' he rushed past me before turning again, ''oh and before I forget the papers will be ready by the end of the week'' without another glance he had gone.

The door had remained opened but I no longer stood outside, I was inside the house and my eyes were fixated on a picture. I just wanted to keep looking at her; God had truly outdone himself because she was truly a stunner.

What was I doing, I had headed up the stairs and now I was stood outside what I alleged as her bedroom. I'm sure this was borderline trespassing but I couldn't help myself. I didn't understand these chains of events.

I gently knocked on the door and instead of waiting for a reply I walked in.

Charlie P.O.V

I looked up expecting Angelo or Ruby but instead in front of me stood Brax, upon seeing him, I felt like crumbling. There was something about this man, my exterior was cold and snappy towards him but my insides yearned for him.

He came and sat beside me and for the first time I didn't flinch at the closeness of someone.

''Charlie are you okay?'' he was definitely not the same cocky Brax, it was almost like he was sincere and that he cared.

''Charlie are you okay?'' He asked me again, this was shaping up to be just like all them years ago… feelings rushed back and up until this day nobody knew the full extent to my ordeal, but for some crazy reason I opened up and told this stranger beside me all the secrets that hid beneath my skin, secrets that ran through the course of my blood.

flashback

Nobody's P.O.V

''Charlie, Charlie, dinner's ready can you please come down''

''I'm not hungry'' Charlie mumbled, it wasn't even audible, like every night for the past three weeks Charlie refused to eat, refused to leave her room, even for school unbeknown to her parents she sneaked back in as soon at the two of them left for work. She was hiding a secret, a dirty little secret and this was going to change her life forever.

Charlie's P.O.V

why couldn't they leave me alone, I did not need food, I did not want to go out and meet my friends, I wanted to die, combust, shrivel, burn, basically anything that meant I didn't have to live in this body of mine. Nothing is as bad as it seems, everything has a reason and everyone has a purpose.

I had no purpose, no reason and this was definitely as bad as it seemed. It felt like I was being punished for something that was beyond my control. Was this a sign from god to say that I had to endure the punishment before I had committed the crime?

I was sat on my bed and I heard my dad coming up the staircase, great it was going to end up with me shutting him out and him storming back downstairs. As my door opened, I didn't look up to see him; instead he came and sat down on the right side of me. I then felt someone sit on the left side. Oh this was good both mum and dad had come together.

Mum took my hand in hers, I flinched and quickly retreated them from her. I then lifted my bottom up and placed my hands under.

''Charlie what is wrong, you just seem so distant''

I shrugged my shoulders, how did I explain to them what was wrong. How do you explain that you want to cut shreds from your own body; how do I differentiate between the pain that I felt when it should have been pleasure. I couldn't tolerate the sensation of my mother's touch; I was in fear of pain, darkness and especially suffocation.

I can recall every detail, when his lips pushed against mine, venom salivated his mouth, his tongue like a serpents body moved inside my mouth exploring. I remember his hands, one grabbing me fiercely from my right hip and the other under my dress. He caressed his hands down to my abdominal area and then both his hands found the direction towards my virtue. No care, no consideration he pushed me against the wall, the wall was hard and cold but it was better than his body pressed against mine, my nails dug into the mossy wall and I could feel myself scratching the wall.

The devil of this earth had somehow coerced into taking my underwear of. I don't recall how he managed it because all I could feel at that point was this shouldn't be happening. my dress hitched up, my underwear around my ankles and the location a grubby alleyway not far from the party that we were at, at the bottom of the alley was a lamppost with a light shining the street but not the alley, it was like it was shying away. I couldn't escape his clutches, I was trapped, I tried to get the words out telling him to stop instead of stopping he started to smile, a creepy smile, a smile of a rapist, not a smile of a boyfriend. I tried to nudge him of me, but he grabbed my wrists, I cringed as his face came close to me again. This time he buried it into the crook of my neck. His one hand let go of me and he began unzipping his jeans. I thought this might be my only chance and I lifted my leg and kneed him straight in his groin. He doubled up and I ran.

When things happen, they all happen at once, when there is no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel, something or someone out there shows you a glimmer of hope. Well I wished that something or someone had come and showed me that glimmer.

I must have ran literally two steps and the next thing I knew was I tripped and fell to the ground. On my hands and knees in a puddle, I felt him close in on me, he flipped me over, I was now on my back, flat, no strength at all and then I just whimpered hoping this would be over soon. I whimpered as he pushed my legs apart and then I felt him push himself inside me. He did his thing and then he was done. He stood up, giggled like a child who had just got their Christmas presents early.

''That was crazy huh'' I remember not saying anything, he was talking like we had just been on an exhilarating theme park ride, well this was far from a ride for me. He zipped himself up, dusted his hands and then walked down the alley way. I huddled up into a cocoon type of position. My hands wet and cold, my hairs straggly and limp covering my face, I squinted my eyes through the gaps between my hair, he had disappeared somewhere down the alley. I then noticed the lamppost again, this time it flickered three times and then it blacked out...

-x-

The next few months were intolerable, mum and dad sent me away but I was soon back and this time I carried an extra few pounds, I was pregnant with the bad omen. There was no escaping it and I remember telling mum and dad about it. Dad went automatically in police mode and shut me out. Mum tried to console me but it was hard.

One afternoon six months pregnant and dad came home telling me to get ready. I never argued, I just got up and did as I was told. Why should anyone else suffer when this was my entire fault, I was the slut, I had been asking for it hadn't I? I felt so dirty and ashamed that I had let sex become so trivial.

We pulled up outside what looked like one of them community centre type of places and I remember walking in. At first I didn't click but then we went through the double doors, and then we entered a hall, there was around twenty black chairs in a circle. I hadn't noticed at first but each chair was accompanied with someone. They all looked the same, broken, gaunt, scared, they all mirrored me but the one thing that I triumphed in was the fact that I was pregnant. It wasn't an achievement but I was one step deeper than they were. Well that's what I thought.

I still couldn't take the feeling of someone near me hence why I went and moved the two unaccompanied chairs on either side of me and moved them away. Dad sat next to me and the women with the clipboard looked at each one of us, she told us to introduce ourselves and tell us a little bit about ourselves. We all had our heads down, avoiding eye contact incase she made us start, I saw one girl fidget with her ring, another rubbed her palms, I then noticed another, her hands rested on her knees, they were not like most of the other hands, they were old and slightly wrinkly. I looked up at her face and noticed that she wasn't young she was about mums age. I don't know where I got the courage from and I don't know what made me do it but I stood up.

''Hi, I'm Charlie Buckton, and I am a victim of rape''

Back to the present

Brax P.O.V

If it wasn't for the tears cascading down her face, It was impossible to recognize whether she was real or fake. Her model stature, her innocent face, simple, truthful, and purely one of a kind.

She had endured so much and I was shocked that she actually told me. No person should ever go through what Charlie had gone through. Rape was a line no one crossed, it was one of the most evil things a human could do to another. I think being murdered is a far better ordeal than rape, rape stays with you forever, being dead doesn't.

Tears had been put in eyes that should be laughing. I put my arms around her and I thought she might flinch and move away but instead she carved her body into mine. Her head rested on my shoulder. After a while she lifted her head up and I found myself mesmerized by her eyes again. A beautiful blue with the tears forming a glassy layer over them.

Her head moved closer to mine and she started to kiss me feverishly, at first I responded and then pulled myself away. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't take advantage of her like this.

''please Brax'' she pleaded,

''No Charlie, you're not in the right frame of mind, I promise you as much as you want this, I want it ten folds more… if you feel like this is the right thing to do in a couple of days, then I will be more than willing.

She didn't respond which I was glad of because she was tempting and I might not be able to resist her.

Charlie's P.O.V

Rejection when I wanted it the most. I was infatuated by this guy and I had no idea why. What kind of magic was he conjuring because it was working. He wasn't even trying and all I wanted to do was stay in his arms, forever.

There was something about him, the man I was supposedly in love with had tried coming near me all week and I refused his touch but this unfamiliar person had me in his arms and I was the most comfortable I had been all my life. I felt lonely, dirty, unappealing but with Brax it was comfortable, familiar territories and all that.

In all honesty I'm glad he didn't give in because maybe in this crazy state I wasn't thinking properly.

After a while we were laying, my head rested on his chest, I felt him move and I feared that he was about to leave. Thankfully he relaxed again and then he spoke,

''Charlie correct me if I'm wrong, but what was it about the other night that freaked you out, was it the women they were dragging''

Why was it I couldn't keep anything to myself when it came to Brax, I found myself responding to him again.

''no. it was the man, his name was Grant Bledcoe… My rapist!''

''didn't he get convicted for it''

''lack of evidence and plus I reported it to late''

''I'm sorry Charlie, but at least he is dead now''

My head shot up.

''What do you mean dead now?''

''Charlie when I came back, the man on the floor was dead''

''No Brax that was someone else, the guy you chased after was…''

We kind of just fell into a silence. It wasn't awkward but it wasn't comfortable either. A few moments passed, Brax lifted me up and we both sat on the bed facing each other. I could feel this imaginary shield around us, like we were untouchable, almost bulletproof.

''Charlie is Ruby your daughter?'' he asked me straight out and for the first time in his presence I stiffened up. I suddenly needed to hurl, I ran into the ensuite and threw up in the toilet bowl, as his hands snaked around the back of my neck pulling my hair back, I could feel myself playing the memory in my head, it felt only like yesterday but in actual fact it had been 17 years since a baby was placed in my arms.

''congratulation's you have a beautiful baby girl'' the midwife had said. I had felt my dad hug me for the first time in what felt like years. It was surreal how all them months I was pregnant he had this brick wall around him and it suddenly crumbled upon the arrival of this baby.

''Charlie she is beautiful, truly a fairy come down from heaven.'' In the space of moments relationships changed, everyone felt like a stranger but the baby that lay in my arms. I remembered being kept in the hospital for four days and every night when mum and dad left, I would talk to my daughter. Our talks were foreign to everyone else however those stories were my memories.

I had days with my daughter but years with my sister, I was eternally grateful that my parents looked after Ruby as their daughter. They had promised to look after her and that's one thing they did, they had another promise and that was to protect me.

Dad had promised me that he would never let Grant hurt me again, but he lied because Dad was dead and Grant Bledcoe was back.

When Ruby turned 14 I became her sole carer, still her sister but she was my responsibility. Mum and dad died when they had an accident, mum had died on impact whereas dad lasted until the hospital. I pleaded with him not to leave and he had simply told me.

''my daughter, the one I raised in the swing of my embrace, I will always be here protecting you''

-x-

Okay what do you think, sorry for rambling on and on. I know it was fairly long but I just wanted to get all of this out of the way first. There was not much happening but hope you still enjoyed it. and sorry not proof read it either!

Thanks for reading... Review if you can..

Abz...Xx