Stephenie owns Twilight, if I did Bella would weight a few more pounds.
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Once the clothes began to fall from their bodies Bella felt insecure. Edward's hands, though loving and softly desperate felt right, made her think of her mother's hand grabbing her love handles, of her past two lovers avoiding her meatiest places. It made her think of how shameful her body actually was. There was a difference between touching under clothing, without seeing, and actually looking at someone's naked body. And she was about to cross it.
Bella was utterly scared and she had to admit she felt insecure too. Would he still want her once he had seen her naked? She didn't think so.
"Stop, please… stop."
Edward froze and looked into Bella's eyes, trying to find what he had done wrong. Though it felt like a rushed situation at first he thought this sexual tension they had been having for so long wasn't anything but rushed after all. He was scared he had ruined it all with this beautiful girl. He was far from perfect and to him, Bella was a goddess, the only real woman he could ever dream of, love, have, and worship. Even if to him, she was in fact, still a girl.
They sat on Edward's king sized bed, looking at the slightly discoloured rug at their feet. None of them talking.
It was Bella's turn to talk, she thought.
"I'm sorry if I just began it all…" she trailed off. She had never attempted to talk about sex with anyone. She had been taught, she had been fucked, but no one had ever addressed the matter with accurate words. "I thought I was ready, I really want you… you've seen that twice, but Edward, I'm just not… the way I see…"
Bella's rambling was interrupted by soft lips upon her own and then a long finger keeping her own lips from separating.
"I understand. You just cannot change the way you see yourself overnight and I don't expect you to." Bella smiled at him, grateful and a tad overwhelmed. "I'll wait for you, because you're worth it and because I plan on making you feel desired and beautiful every single day if you let me."
A tear fell from Bella's cheek, she wasn't usually an over-emotional person but he was touching deep into her soul.
"How can you be sure you'll still want me once the clothes I'm wearing are off?" She had to know. Bella had feeling for him, but as pretty as his words sounded she had been let down in the past, she had just been fucked out of curiosity.
"Because baby, if your body is an ounce of what I see daily or can feel with my own hands then trust me, I'll be wanting you so much working at the same place is going to be hard." Edward winked at that, the pun obvious and they both laughed. The awkwardness suddenly gone.
My laptop is broken :( I'm using my boyfriend's now since he's away. Someone can tell me how to delete cookies and chache and all those internet thing that will get me in trouble? hehe.
Forgive my mistakes on the chapter and the delay please.
Big girls, you ARE beautiful
T.