Chapter 20

''it's been good to get away eh'' Angelo told me as we drove back to the bay,

''yep it sure has''

He then looked at me,

''you're wearing it''

''yes''

The rest of the drive home was silent but unlike before it wasn't uncomfortable. It was okay but still nothing like the way it would be with Brax. Even after three weeks, the feelings were strong, if not stronger than before, I had learnt to deal with lots but getting him out of my head wasn't possible. After everything he did I still couldn't help myself.

I know I was kidding myself, Angelo and my relationship was the same as before, now I just chose to ignore the fact that there was something wrong with it and just accept that maybe he was the best I would ever have.

We made it home and Angelo had gone straight to the restaurant and I had gone to the shops to get some food in. I had text Ruby to say I was back and we could speak.

I drove into our driveway, and in the doorway stood the last person I expected.

I got out of my car and took the shopping bags out of the car, I walked towards the front of the house,

''What do you want Heath?'' I asked without looking at him and opening the door stepping inside.

''your help'' as soon as I heard his voice, I knew something was straight off, it was tired, dull and dreary.

''with what exactly'' ''is everything okay''

''nope''

''what's happened?'' I pushed,

''you need to promise to help first''

''forget It, I know where this is heading''

''No Charlie please listen to me'' he pleaded, ''I'm fighting a losing battle''

He sighed really heavily,

''Has Ruby not said anything''

''in case you hadn't noticed Heath we weren't exactly on talking terms thanks to your brother''

''please Charlie, Casey's been stabbed, and Brax is on a downward spiral, I'm trying to keep him in check but he is hell bent on getting revenge''

''What, Casey's been stabbed, what do you mean?'' I asked shocked,

''that night when you heard what we do and what Brax is, well the guys crop who we raided decided to avenge and he stabbed Casey''

''is he okay'' ''actually that's a stupid question, you wouldn't be here otherwise''

''he's not, he is in a really bad way. Ruby and Brax have been by his side since it happened, Brax wouldn't leave, the only time he did was when he found out it was Jake, if I hadn't stopped him that day...'' he stopped talking and swallowed hard,

''well let's just say he would be locked up or dead''

''when did it happen'' I asked trying to digest everything in,

''four days ago''

''how's Ruby''

''coping'' ''Please will you talk to him''

''No, no, No, Heath, I want nothing to do with him''

''Why not, he needs somebody, please Charlie, Casey has been given the next 48 hours, he's critical and no one has hope that he will make it'' he told me as his voice cracked at the seriousness of the situation.

One thing was for sure, the bond between the brothers was immense and they would do anything for each other. I mean why else would Heath turn up at my doorstep begging for me to visit his brother and try knock some sense into him.

'he needs someone you know'' Heath told me and I knew he was hinting at Brax

'that someone's not me''

''he regrets what he did you know. He regrets everything you know, I heard him tell Ruby that he regrets being involved with the River boys''

''Heath I'm sorry but I can't help you, I will come see Casey and support Ruby, but Brax isn't my problem''

''no, he isn't but for what it's worth I know he loves you, and he loves Casey and the thought of losing the two of you will destroy him''

-x-

Heath left, his words played in my ear's he loves you, if he loved me he would have told me, been honest with me.

I grabbed my keys and headed to the hospital, not for Brax but Ruby, she needed someone and that someone was me.

I walked towards the main desk and asked for Casey Braxton, recited his address and the nurse directed me towards his room. The scene in front of me harrowing, I watched through the crack in the blinds, Brax's eyes puffy, swollen and looked like they had purple bruising, his body sunken into the arm chair just intently watching Casey as his chest rises slowly up and down, hooked up to countless machines. His lifeless body laying there.

Ruby was sat on the side closest to the door and I could only see her a back, judging from her posture she looked sunken.

I gathered the courage and walked in to the room, the door clicked slowly into place and neither Brax nor Ruby looked up, I walked to the back of the room where there was a stack of chairs, I brought one and placed it next to Ruby's.

I grabbed Ruby's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. This time she looked up at me,

''I'm so glad your back Charlie'' she told me, I looked over at Brax who still watched as the air entered and escaped Casey's body, gentle rise and a sunken drop all with the help of a ventilator.

-x-

I sat for ages, not one of us speaking, not one of us saying anything. I wiped Ruby's tears a few times and I even had to wipe my own at the same time, Casey was innocent in all this and he was enduring the pain. In all the time I sat there, Brax nor moved, nor broke his eye contact from Casey's comatose body.

''Ruby lets go, you need to have a break from this room, it's not healthy''

''no Charlie I need to be here if there is a change''

''we will get coffee, that's it and then straight back. I promise''

Just as I got up to leave, the duty Dr walked in, the look on his face of remorse and regret,

''Mr Braxton'' Brax still didn't look up,

''Mr Braxton, seen as your next of kin after your mother for Casey, we need to speak to you''

No response.

''Are you related to the patient'' the Dr then turned to ask me and Ruby.

Ruby nodded her head feverishly to indicate we were.

'It would be a good idea to get anyone else related to Casey here, sooner the better''

-x-

Heath had come to the hospital and Cheryl was nowhere to be found, they walked into the quiet room after prying Brax away from Casey's room, it wouldn't be such a big deal but as he was next of kin after their mum it was important for him to be there for what the DR had to say. I sat on the bench waiting for them before Ruby came out saying Heath told me to come in too.

I was confused why he would want me there but I went in regardless.

''Right guys, I don't know a easier way to say this'' the Dr began

He looked at Brax and Heath,

''as you know when Casey was bought in he was critical, very critical, we are really surprised that he survived the time he had, whoever stabbed him knew exactly where would cause the most damage''

''what you saying Doc'' Heath asked, Brax yet to speak,

''we operated and we stabilised his condition but we told you the next 48 hours would be critical''

''could you just cut all this shit out and just tell us'' Heath was getting frustrated,

''Heaths this is protocol, just let him continue'' I told him so the Dr could continue,

''when we give a patient 48 hours we have to look at two things which help us determine what to do next, we continue treatment if one there is no change in condition or if there is an improvement'' the Dr looked at each one of us before continuing,

''I regret to inform you but what we feared has happened, Casey's condition has deteriorated''\

''Brax, Heath we have to propose this''

''you are not turning the machines off'' Brax spoke, lifting his head up he looked straight at the Dr, he shook his head side to side,

''Brax, there is nothing that we can do for him, he died the minute his brain was starved of oxygen, at this moment in time he is only breathing because of the machines he is hooked onto''

''at least he is still breathing''

''He will never come out of this, he continues to be in this comatose state, from a professional point of view I can tell you that keeping him in this state is neither causing him nor harm no good''

''nah not happening'' Brax kept saying first out loud and then slowly under his breath,

''as we can't get hold of your mother, then ultimately it is your decision'' he directed at Brax,

''good, then it's decided, we are not killing my brother, my baby brother'' I could feel the anger boiling in his voice and he was trembling a little, I don't know what made me do it but I got up and went and sat next to him,

''Brax, Brax listen to me, you won't be killing him, it's just letting him go with dignity''

''still not happening, he has every chance to wake up, he is fit, healthy, he will make it through''

''Brax why are you not listening'' Heath shouted from across the room,

''don't you start'' Brax said getting up,

''He's dead, dead for god's sake'' Heath shouted back as he walked up to Brax, he pushed him back ''DEAD... You idiot he's Dead!''

Brax squared back up to Heath pushing him back, and then punching him straight in the face launching him backwards. Heath got back up and instead of ignoring him he went to retaliate.

''Stop it just stop it both of you!'' Ruby shouted and then walked out of the room.

Heath sat down on the chair and Brax just stood there rubbing his face with his hands, the Dr just looked dumbfounded, scared to speak.

''both of you need to calm down'' I told them,

''the decision does not need to be made today right now okay''

''Deadset'' Brax replied monotonously.

-x-

It had been two days since the Dr had told Brax and Heath that they need to make a decision, and there mum had yet to make an appearance.

I had continued to go see Casey and support Ruby and even though I had spoken to Brax the other day, there had been no interaction since then.

I walked into the hospital towards Casey's room. Something was off, Cheryl was here.

Wow, she made an appearance finally. I walked forwards and realised everybody was outside bar Brax.

Two officers also stood talking to Heath,

''Is he likely to harm himself or Casey'' one of the officers who I recognised as Avery ask Heath.

Harm himself? Casey?

''Guys what's going on here?'' I asked as I noticed Ruby stood next to the window of Casey's room pleading with what I assumed to be the person Avery was talking about.

No one responded to me, so I asked again and this time Ruby turned around,

''Charlie, he's locked himself in there and he has a gun''

''who'' not for a single moment did I think it would be Brax I assumed it was Jake coming to finish the job.

''Brax, they were ready to turn the machines off and then he just barricaded himself in there''

''why would he agree to that and then barricade himself Ruby?'' I asked confused,

''mum made the decision as next of kin, she comes before Brax'' Heath said,

''oh'' I didn't know what to say. I wasn't surprised why Brax had done what he did but obviously as a police officer I knew it was protocol for them to get involved and especially if it one of our own.

''Charlie will you talk to him, make him understand that what he is doing is not right''

''he is not going to listen to her, who is she even'' Cheryl screeched in her catty voice,

''leave it out mum'' Heath told her, ''go get a coffee or something, be useful!''

''fine, it's not like I'm any use here''

''good go''

''Charlie please you're the only who might get through to him, we have all tried''

''I don't know how much sway I have Heath'' It was the truth, I wasn't making an excuse, I actually didn't know whether he would talk to me. I mean I know we spoke a little, but conversations between us were not the highest priority. It might sound pathetic but if you asked me about every crevice in his body I would tell you, his life not so much.

''probably more than you think''

I took a deep sigh and walked towards the room, Ruby moved out the way.

I turned to look at the rest of them,

''I would prefer if there wasn't an audience please'' I told them.

-x-

Brax's P.O.V

Mum hadn't even let the Dr finish what he as saying and she had already made a decision. How could she just turn her baby boy's machines off, the only things supplying colour to his face and breath in his lungs.

Ruby tried, Heath tried, mum had screamed for me to leave the room but no avail. I watched Casey's body and I knew in my heart he was gone but I couldn't let him go, not yet, he had everything to live for. I looked at the gun placed in front of me; I don't know what it was for, it was stupid but was there anything worth living for when you are consumed with guilt, everything, every mistake, every action you had taken to protect your own leads to this moment when the ones you did it for are now suffering.

''Casey bro, you need to wake up'' I told him as my eyes welled up. ''I really need you to wake up'' there was so much ahead for him, he had yet to finish school, he had met an amazing girl, he was on the right tracks and most of all he still needed to whip mine and Heaths arse in surfing.

I heard a knock on the door, and it was quiet and calm, not like before when they were literally breaking down the door, I looked over to see Charlie looking in,

''can I come in please''

''for what'' I snapped back at her,

''erm I don't know a cup of tea!'' she snapped back at me, ''what do you think I want to come in for?''

''I don't know, go away''

''nope'' I shrugged my shoulders and looked at Casey again. ''fine I will just wait here until you see sense''

''not going to happen Charlie, go home''

She raised her eyebrows at me, ''really you expect me to leave you idiot, I just want to talk''

''about'' he asked

''us''

I didn't expect her to say that, I thought she was here because of Casey and then I remembered what happened on the beach, she got her goodbye and then walked away, was she playing me again. I got up and started to pace the room. I rubbed my hands on my face,

''is this one of your games again Charlie coz honestly not interested''

''it's not a game, I just want to talk, like friends, like all them months ago when we first talked before all the complications, tell me how you're feeling''

''excellent, top of my game''

''stop being a dog Brax'' she retorted,

''how do you think I feel?''

''I don't know, why else would I be asking you''

I ignored her and thought about it, I actually didn't know how I felt, angry, upset, grief stricken or maybe it was guilty conscience either way I was not sure.

''are you going to come out or let me in so we can talk''

I thought about it,

''you, just you''

''I promise, now let me in''

I moved the machines out the way, removed the pole from the door handles before looking at the area outside in case there was somebody, I opened the door just enough for her to come in, the space tight and her body rubbed against mine as she made her way in.

She pushed me back,

''you stupid idiot, what the heck do you think you're doing'' she shouted at me,

''really, really Charlie''

''what are you doing Brax?'' she asked her tone lowered now and more calm.

''why you letting him down?''

''how do you work that out, letting them turn that machine off is letting him down, not standing up for what is right is letting him down''

''he looks up to you Brax, everything about you, and he is proud of everything you have done till today, don't let his perception on you change at the last minute''

''what do I do?'' he questioned almost like he had given up,

''if he was alive what would be his words to you''

''he would tell me to do what my heart is saying''

''and honestly Brax what is your heart saying''

''it's telling me to let him go''

''then it's time''

''will you stay with me''

''if you want''

''please do and Charlie just for the record that goes for you too''

''what does''

''doing what my heart say, I will get you back'' I brushed my hand on her cheek, ''right now is not the time but one day I will''

''and maybe when that one day comes there might be hope but for now we need to concentrate on Casey''

She got up to leave,

''I will let you say you're goodbye and then call the rest''

I gripped her hand and motioned her to sit down,

''can we do it together''

She didn't say anything, instead sat down and let me say my goodbye.

-x-