Authors Note: I apologize for the wait, but a tragedy in real life has prevented me from writing much lately. Do me a favor. If you have children, no matter how mad they make you, or how poorly they behave, or anything... tell them, you love them every day. You never know when it will be the last time you get the chance...
Getting the Bottom of the Truth and the Bottle
Elliot's POV:
In the words of my brother; Fuck! If I didn't love the asshole and he wasn't my only brother, I would never have agreed to this. Christian is going to owe me big time. I take another drink of my beer, finishing it off. I have almost finished, but I won't order another one yet. I am going to have several drinks this evening if I ever manage to somehow get him alone. Him... Ethan Kavanagh. The brother of the hottest woman I have ever met and one that I should have proposed to. It wasn't right to do as planned due to my brothers failed wedding, but we can't change that. He is also suspect number one.
Unbeknownst to anyone, I have been struggling with my brother's disclosure. I failed him, as his older brother and best friend. If only I had been with him that day, or it had rained or if my parents decided just to send him to his room that day that Elena pounced on Christian... maybe then all this shit wouldn't have happened. I don't condone my brother's actions with his ex-submissive. I think I think he was out of his mind. Though in a strange way, I think to understand why he did it. Yes it was erroneous, and he deserves to suffer as a result, but in his twisted, megalomaniac way, he had to protect Ana.
No matter how trying my task is tonight, it will be nothing compared to what my brother was contending with. Christian has entered going full force to get Ana back.
The first of which was proving he would always be honest and open. As evidenced by this tonight, he is telling our parents what happened. The whole story. Elena, the submissive's, Leila and why Ana didn't go through with the marriage ceremony. I check my watch. Christian would have been at our parent's home for some time now. I am worried about him, our mother, our father... our whole family. I won't even dare to predict the ramifications of this disclosure. I consider messaging Christian, but he will just ask me what I have found out about the photo, and I don't have those answers yet.
"I want to dance. Kate, come with me!" Ana had only had a couple of drinks, one with dinner and one when we arrived at the club, but you would think she had consumed several drinks. Christian was right when he said that Ana was a bit of a lightweight when it comes to alcohol.
"Best friend duties call," Kate announces playfully. "You boys be good." I can't help but stare at my girls amazing ass. I am going to claim her from behind soon. Look at that ass! Who wouldn't want to!
"Want another drink?" Ethan offers. I am awoken from my daydream, rather unwillingly. Damn! I quickly look over at the girls, who are dancing freely. Sawyer is standing close, but discretely by. No one will be able to touch them while he is around, giving me the time to focus on the task at hand. My brother has not only sent Sawyer but also Ryan with us this evening. One to watch Ana and the other make sure Ethan doesn't get too friendly with Ana.
"Yeah, but it's on me." I approach the bar and order four bourbon and cokes. Two of which are doubles. Those are for Ethan. He had a couple of drinks before we came out, two at dinner and he has already had one here at the club. These two drinks should help to loosen him up more. I haven't known Ethan long, but I spent some time with him when I went to Barbados to catch up with Kate. He was polite but a little awkward and quiet. Tonight, he is talkative and ever so bold. Ethan has taken every opportunity he can to try to touch Ana. You would think that he would practice some restraint considering the brother of Ana's ex-fiancé is sitting only a few feet away.
"Since the girls are busy dancing, I thought we would have some real manly' drinks. We better hurry before one of them comes back and wants one. I don't think either is too good at holding their liquor." I raise one of my glasses and drink it straight. Ethan does the same.
"Whoa... That was strong."
"Come on Kavanagh, don't tell me that living with two girls has you pussy whipped." He scowls at me, but I maintain my cool, drinking the entire contents of my second drink down. Ethan, it seems doesn't like to have his masculinity challenged, and in a swift move, drinks his second glass in a matter of seconds. "I see you're thirsty." I signal to Ryan, and promptly he gets us another order of drinks. Ryan thankfully ordered a couple of weaker drinks for me and from the look on Ethan's face his third and fourth glass is even stronger.
"So, Ana looks pretty good tonight. Are you going to make a move? Because since she is the best friend of my girlfriend, it matters to me." I grin and act cool. Though I almost lose it and rip him a new one as he looks over at Ana and eye fucks her.
"Ana is the best friend of my sister. She matters to me more. Now cut the crap, don't you mean that it matters to you because Ana is your brother's ex-fiancé?" That also, but it's not as if I can admit that.
"Christian and Ana are over. My brother has gone back to being the big and powerful CEO twenty-four seven. Sure it was great when he joined the human race for that nanosecond, but I have been around. I know when a ship has sailed." I sound so damn convincing that even I start to believe myself. "Right now I am concerned about my girl being unavailable to me as she has been comforting Ana."
"Ana won't need comforting much longer." Ethan raises his glass is sporting a broad, arrogant grin. He couldn't look more egotistical if he tried. Ethan might as well take out a billboard. Mentally I am debating between beating him to a pulp or should I bury him in cement on one of my construction sites.
"Know something I don't?"
"Just because you and your brother are a part of the Grey family doesn't mean you control the world. Tell me when you were all adopted, how old were you all when your parents began instructing you and your siblings that you were all omnipotent? Hang on your brother fell off that pedestal the day of his wedding. Didn't he?"
That's it. I am going to bury him in cement in the building complex I have just won the contract for. Sure my brother screwed up, but never insult our parents and their methods in raising us! They gave us everything, but never did they allow us to become spoiled or believe we were invincible! I was also wrong before. Kavanagh is able to look even more egotistical. He drinks down the last of his drink and leans back on the padded booth chair. The combination of arrogance and far too much alcohol is fueling Ethan's false perception that he is untouchable. I think that it's his parents that we should be questioning right now. Kate is a little spoiled but in comparison to this asshole, she is a saint. It is well known that I am by far the most affable brother in my family, always maintaining my cool. But right now I would rather take a page out of my brother's book before the age of fifteen. Stuff this, time to get to the point!
"How did you get the photo to Ana?" It's obvious that it was him, but I need to find out how. That is what Christian needs.
"Me?" I am starting to question if he is a psychopath and is the one in need of psychologist instead. He is acting innocent. I wonder if I could signal to Ryan to take Ethan out back for me and wait till I can make a casual exit and knock him out for me.
"Cut the crap, or I will go on that dance floor and tell Ana it was you. She doesn't know does she?"
"Ana is going to be mine no matter what. You know, I was disappointed when your brother didn't turn up on my doorstep after the wedding. I thought he would have worked it out. Guess he was pretty messed up." Ethan grins.
"You're a coward. You got the photo to Ana somehow without her knowing it was you. How do you think she will feel about you when she learns that it has you planted the picture rather than giving it to her yourself?" Ethan looks over to Ana and then to me. He isn't as smug as before, but he hasn't mellowed.
"Okay, you want to know. Then sit back and enjoy the tale of when Mogul Grey failed."
Christian's POV:
"Taylor I won't need you for the rest of the evening or tomorrow. Go and see your daughter, or whatever you wish." I tell him, not making eye contact. I look down and start to head off towards the elevator.
"Sir, I am happy to remain on standby, as is Gail. You may..."
"No! I will see you both on Monday morning." I walk away. I don't want to see anyone, nor will I need anything. It is best that no one be around me right now. All I have done is hurt the people I love the most... those who love me. I have spent the last few hours confessing to my parents. Telling them everything. My mother and father.. they were. I can't explain it. It was a combination of disbelief, anger, sadness, regret... a whole smorgasbord of emotions. I don't know if there is anything else I could ever do in my life that would disappoint them more. Yep, I am one fucked up asshole. Then after I told them the truth... they... they... why?
I enter the kitchen; pull out the glass and a bottle of bourbon from one of the top cabinets. I operate on automation. It isn't until I raise my glass to my lips that I realize that it's empty. Shit, have I already finished that bottle. I grab an unopened bottle, pouring a generous amount into my glass. I need to retreat from all of this. I take my glass and approach my piano. It has given me so much solace in the past and allowed me to lose myself and forget the darkness that surrounded me. But no longer. My hands move mechanically along the keys; the music sounds the same, but it's different. Ana once said that everything I play is so sad, but the cheerlessness of these tunes is nothing to what I feel. Oh god, how I feel. I wish I didn't! I would give everything to end this pain.
Hours later and I am still sitting at my piano, on autopilot. The only thing that has changed is the quantity of liquid in the bottle of bourbon. I only stop playing when my cell phone rings. I would ignore it except its Elliot and he was meeting the fucker, Ethan, suspect number one. About fucking time he called me!
"Elliot!" I reply gruffly.
"Hey, there Mr. Pleasant" I grunt at my brothers sarcastic tone. Elliot makes it a sport out of mocking me, but he is rarely disparaging.
"What you found out?" Once more I dispel with any pleasantries. I have never been a fan of them, and it isn't on my current agenda
"Ethan admitted to it. Hell if he could yell it from the Seattle Space Needle I sure he would."
"Fucking bastard. I am... going... to... to have... him..." Shit! The combination of my rage and alcohol consumption is making it hard to formulate sentences.
"Christian, have you been drinking?"
"Just tell me what the asshole said!"
"Fine don't admit it, but even a moron would be able to tell you've been drinking. I fear that you are going to want to drink more after you hear this." Elliot pauses and then groans. "You were right; Ethan has wanted Ana for some time. When he saw you leave the apartment with Leila and Taylor, he took the photo with his iPhone. The institution's name was in the hospital car that Leila was transported in. Ethan, figuring something was amiss, went to the hospital and lied to the staff about being a family member. They ended up letting him see her. Leila supposedly wouldn't say boo until Ethan told her who he was and that he wanted Ana. Ethan showed her the photo he took. Leila didn't say much, but she did take the picture and write that statement about you being denied. Ethan isn't aware of the nature of your relationship or what the statement meant. He didn't care. He was only interesting in getting what he wants. Same for Leila." My blood starts to boil. Regardless of my already intoxicated state, I pour myself another glass. The amber liquid no longer burns. As quickly as it took me to fill the glass, I empty it, drinking it all down in one mouthful.
"Where is Kavanagh now?" I slur.
"Shit Christian, you need to stop drinking. Is Taylor there? I am coming over."
"Where is Kavanagh?" I repeat.
"Okay little bro, your IQ might be miles above mine, but there is no fucking way that I am going to tell you that. You're so drunk that you are likely to have Ethan buried alive right now, and that is not going to solve anything. Though truth be told, I would probably help you. It would make us both feel better."
"How did this evening go with Mom and Dad?" Elliot's voice shifts, becoming flat and worrisome. At first, I don't reply. I replay the expressions on my parent's faces as I told them the whole sordid story from the time I was 15 till the last time I saw Ana, after the doomed wedding. I stop each time when I repeat my parent's last words to me... It hurts... because... it always will.
"I believe you can envision how it went."
"Yeah... look bro stay there I am coming over. Let me talk to Sawyer to get the girls home and I will take a cab to your place or have Ryan drive me. DO. NOT. GO. ANYWHERE!" Before I am able to object, my brother hangs up. I would order Taylor to ensure he doesn't come in, but my state prevents me.
Ana's POV:
What on earth am I doing here? Why, oh why did I offer to help? I mentally chastise myself. I start to bang my head against the elevator wall. Not enough to hurt, but adequately enough to try to knock some sense into me. This is the last thing I expected or wanted to be doing tonight, especially at this hour. Kate, Ethan, Elliot and I, after having dinner, spent the evening at a local upmarket bar and club. I felt like letting my hair down. Kate and I had a couple of drinks with Elliot and Ethan before we hit the dance floor at the club. I couldn't care less how bad my dancing was.
Before the four of us were about to go back to our apartment. Elliot started to act distant and even more so before he took a phone call from Mia. After some prompting from Kate, he privately admitted to her, and he needed to get to Christian as he was in a pretty bad place, but Elliot also needed to get to his parents.
Christian had emailed me earlier today with the subject heading, 'making things right' but I chose not to read it. I have decided that I have to move on. Slowly I turned around, to open my email on my phone and read it without generating suspicion.
To: Anastasia Steele
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Making things right
Dear Ana,
As I said, I will fight for you. Prove that I can be trusted and worthy of your love. Tonight I am having dinner with my parents. Afterwards, I will tell them. Everything. I am coming clean. I know it will hurt them, but I can't keep these secrets anymore. The first way I will fight for you is through honesty.
Please don't drink too much tonight.
I love you. Only you.
Christian Grey
Missing you... all of you. CEO Grey Enterprise.
I knew that it would have been a hard conversation for all. My heart began to break for Grace. Elena was her friend. Grace and Carrick learned about Christian and Elena's past on the day we celebrated his birthday and announced our engagement, but they weren't informed of the sexual nature of their relationship. I couldn't even commence to guess how Carrick had taken the news. As one of Seattle's most experienced lawyers, he has heard it all. Although when it is your son, there is no way that you would be able to keep your emotions from boiling over. I know Christian. He had entered the dangerous cycle, believing he is a complete disappointment to his parents. While Christian attests that he works as hard as he does because he doesn't want to be poor. The real reason is he wants to prove to his parents that adopting him was the right decision and that he deserves their love. I had hoped to help Christian accept that no matter what, his parents loved him unconditionally.
Elliot was an emotional mess and needed to get to his parents. On the other hand, as Christian's only brother and close friend, he was the only one who would be able to ensure he doesn't withdraw further into the darkness. The only one other than him is me. So here I am, at Escala in the elevator heading up to Christian's penthouse. I am not here to resume our relationship or to offer some hope. I am here to ensure Christian is alright. I am not here to determine if his fifty shades had multiplied or anything else.
Taylor looks surprised though pleased to see me when he opens the doors to the Penthouse for me.
"Miss Steele."
"Taylor, please call me Ana. For the billionth time, it's Ana."
"I am glad to see you. Ana." I breathe out. Finally, he is calling me Ana.
"Thank you... now where is he and how bad is he?"
"Mr. Grey is in the main room. He is less than optimal."
"Great" I reply, rolling my eyes. Taylor follows me into the main room where I can just make out a rather drunk Christian, even though the room is relatively dark. "Thank you, Taylor. I will take it from here."
"Do you need me to get you anything?" Taylor offers.
"No... Actually yes. Can you get me a pot of hot, black coffee?" In all honesty, I have no idea if black coffee will help his inebriated state, but I have heard that it helps. Taylor offers me his trademark impassive nod. I switch the lights on, flooding the room. Christian groans and mutters something about turning them off. He thinks I am one of the staff. Fair enough as I doubt he would have heard Taylor and me talking just then.
I walk around so I can evaluate how bad Christian is. There is a bottle of bourbon on the table with only a quarter of its contents left. My would-be-husband unceremoniously sprawled on the couch. I know he isn't asleep as he is still holding on to his empty glass. I wonder if he is even aware that I am here.
"Christian," I call his name softly. When he doesn't respond, I raise my voice several times. "Christian, can you hear me?"
"Ana?" Christian utters before he opens his eyes though strains to see due to the bright lights. "You're here."
"And here I thought I was in the Bahamas."
"Sarcasm is still the lowest form of whit."
"Whatever" I reply. Taylor walks in with a pot of dark black coffee and mug.
"Is there anything else I can do?" He seems eager to leave. I assess that this has been a familiar scene lately.
"Thank you Taylor, but no. I think you have had to deal with enough. If I need help, I know where to find you." Taylor nods in acknowledgment and heads off upstairs.
"If I am dreaming, then I pray I don't ever wake up. I never thought I would be alone with you here after you left last time."
"That makes two of us. Also, you're not dreaming. Here drink this coffee." I pass him a mug though don't let go until I know he has a firm grip on it. A drunken Christian is bad enough. A drunken Christian with burns would be worse. Christian fingers take hold of the mug and inadvertently touch mine. Or maybe not so accidentally. I remove my hands quickly and commence to assess the situation.
"How much have you had to drink?"
"A lot." I looked around and scattered on the floor is his suit jacket, tie, shoes and even his socks. Very un-Christian like. I pick them up. This man needs to get himself together.
"You don't need to do that Ana." I want to scold him, tell him that he doesn't get to tell me what to and not to do. Instead, I focus on the task at hand.
"Have you eaten?" I quiz. I promised Elliot that I would make sure Christian was unharmed and intend to do so. Only this. I am filing this under as an act of human compassion.
"No."
"What? 'Honestly, its drinking rule number one' "Christian attempts to stifle his laugh, at my deliberate repeat of his words to me after our first night together. Hhhmm.. Christian not eating... this is a bad sign.
"Why didn't you eat?"
"It's been a rough evening. I had intended to eat with my parents then dinner got missed." Sorrow engulfs him. "Ana, I am so sorry. I know that words aren't enough I still love you. So much. Stay with me."
"I can't. I shouldn't have come here. Elliot didn't know what to do. "
"I know. Elliot is at our parents. He emailed me telling me he was going over. Elliot has always been the son I couldn't be." Christian's voice progressively got lower and lower. I wonder if he still sees Flynn. Christian is in dire need of several appointments.
"You need to shower and eat. I will cook you something while you get cleaned up." Then you can go to bed, and I can go home. I take the coffee mug from Christian, to save it from breaking when I notice that he is struggling to place it on the coffee table safely. I watch surprised that he manages to get to his feet so easily, but his balance is short lived when he attempts to take his first step. On instinct, I step towards him and place my hands on his arms, to prevent him falling. Why on earth I expected my petite form to stand any chance at keeping him upright I will never know. He continues to fall, though luckily backwards onto the couch, although taking me with him.
Damn! I end on top of Christian. Gravity pressing my body against his. We are face to face. Our eyes interlock. It is almost as if time stands still. Almost that is. When Christian places his hands my back, I am reminded of what he did and why we aren't happily married. I push myself up and step away. I look towards the door of the penthouse, knowing I should walk out. It was partly my fault that I landed on Christian, but it has awoken painful emotions inside of me.
"Ana, please don't leave. I am going to have a shower. You are right. I need to eat. If you still care to cook something, then I would be most appreciative. If not then I will understand. I can heat something up or ask Mrs. Jones. She is here, upstairs." I must look as conflicted as I feel. Christian burns himself when he is cooking, at the best of times. He is likely to burn the whole apartment down if he enters his kitchen. Also, I caught up with Gail last week, after finally finding a time that she was free. After a lot of convincing, she admitted to me that she hadn't wanted to take any time off lately, not even on the weekends when she wasn't scheduled. Gail has remained on hand in case Christian needed her. Christian wasn't looking after himself. A statement confirmed by the sight in front of me.
"No. I will do it. The last thing Gail needs is to be interrupted at this late hour. Plus, I promised your brother I would ensure you are alright. Can you walk?"
"I will do my best." Christian stands slowly and gradually moves towards the bedroom. It's more of a complicated wobble, but somehow he is getting one leg in front of the other.
I had been in the kitchen for several minutes before I realized that it felt like as if I had never left. I have always loved cooking here. Every appliance at my fingertips with a well-supplied pantry and fridge. I add the last of the ingredients, then put it into the oven. Perfect. Now all I have to do is wait several minutes.
Christian reappears. Looking a little sturdier on his feet, though he still has to concentrate hard on each step. Christian has showered, shaved and changed his clothes. Only he can look so good in a pair of jeans and charcoal V-neck shirt while still under the influence. I refuse to show it, but I feel a surge of power knowing Christian cleaned up because I am here. On the other hand, I pray he doesn't think that I am coming back or ready to start again.
"That smell delicious." I refuse to look at him or even respond, busying myself with plating the food. He offers me one of my favorite smiles, shy and chivalrous, as I pass him a glass of water. "Are you going to eat also?"
"No. I ate already."
"Oh yeah.. my brother mentioned that."
"I will clean up and then once I know you are safe in bed, and can't get into any more trouble, I will leave."
"Would you sit with me?"
"I don't think that is a good idea."
"Ana... please.."
"No."
"Okay then stand there. You should know that we discovered who placed that photo in your room the day of the wedding..." I hold my hand up, stopping him from speaking.
"I already know. It was Ethan." Christian's eyes narrow in conjunction with his mouth opening slightly. A clear sign that he is upset and shocked at the same time. "It didn't matter who put the photo there. It doesn't change the context or contents of the picture. " I shake my head.
"Except Ethan had it in his possession not long after our engagement and he waited till the day of the wedding." I know Christian isn't lying. I had suspected weeks ago when Ethan had let something slip by accident. I was so irate at Christian that I couldn't think about much more. Though it confirmed the fact, that Ethan wanted more than just a friendship with me. If he had given me the photo earlier, then I would have learned the truth weeks before the wedding, and then there would have been an opportunity that I might have forgiven Christian. Our marriage would still have gone ahead as planned. I have been careful to ensure that I maintain only a friendship with Ethan. I need to reconfirm this with him soon. He was eye fucking me over and over tonight. Christian studies me apparently reading me and wisely decides to change the topic.
"So, are you wishing that Ethan had played his cards before you spent all the money on the wedding?" I hiss.
"Anastasia, how could you say that?"
"Forget it."
"Do you really believe I care about money over you?"
"No," I confess.
"Finally, something we agree on."
"I went to Bellevue tonight," Christian comments changing the topic. His expression is bleak. I couldn't even begin to imagine how it went. No mother should have to hear about this. In fact, neither should any father.
"I know. I read your email." Christian perks up at my admission.
"Good. I was worried that you wouldn't."
"How did it go?" I mentally chastise myself for the second time, for asking such a lame question. "I mean.. how did your parents... do you..." I have no idea how to phrase this question. "..forget it. I shouldn't have asked."
"Yes, you should. It was difficult. My parents were excited to see me. I had been avoiding them and everyone else. I didn't want them to see the monster that I was.." I huff at his description of himself and interject before he can say anything else.
"Christian, you are not a monster" A liar, and fifty shades yes. But even I know that this description isn't correct.
"I am. I hurt the person that I loved the most." Christian looks so vulnerable and repentant. I look away, protective of my feelings, but it means that I don't see Christian extend out his hand to touch my face. His fingers, his touch feel so soft but I shuffle along the couch. Ensuring I am more than an arm's length away. I don't allow myself to indulge nor do I want to lead Christian on. I fear my coming here tonight is doing that already.
"So, you said that your parents were happy to see you tonight. Did you talk to them straight away?" I question, leading him to continue his retelling of tonight's events.
"We were supposed to have dinner first but I asked if we could talk first. I needed to get on with it and tell them everything immediately. Not wanting to eat until later was a sure sign to my parents that something was wrong." I smile slightly at Christian's attempt to make a joke though neither of us laughs. "I started telling them about what was going on in my mind before Elena, and how our relationship started. I told them the nature of our relationship but didn't go into specifics or anything like that. I told them how Linc learned of our relationship and his reaction. Then becoming a dominant, having submissive's and then the turning point in my life. The day you stumbled, head first into my office. I told my parents how I finally came alive as a result, though when Leila threatened you, I didn't think. I did what I thought was the only way to stop her."
"It must have been one hell of a roller coaster for your parents to hear that." I assess
"That is one way of looking at it. Their excitement, turned to concern, horror, regret, anger, shock, and then hope when I talked about you. Then when I told them what I did, answering the final question Why you didn't marry me. They were so angry. No, it's more than that. I don't know if there is the word to describe what my parents were feeling. I didn't dare look at them longer than a few seconds."
"Oh, Christian." I shake my head. I don't know if I should pity him, this is a mess of his own making. Though I know now that I need to go to Bellevue. To see Grace at the very least.
"My parent's housekeeper knocked on the study door, where I gave my undesirable history lesson. She entered without being invited and asked if we still wished to eat. My mother stated that she had lost her appetite. All three of us had. We all sat there for, I don't know how long. I wanted for them to yell, anything. But it didn't come. They were too much in a state of shock. I apologized to my parents and told them that I should go. I didn't want to destroy what was left of their evening. I politely excused myself and started to walk out the house. Once I was almost at the front door to leave, I stopped. My father had called out my name. Quietly, I sighed but turned around. I expected my dad to start to yell, to tell me how disappointed they were with me, but.."
Tears didn't run down Christian's face though they threatened to do so. It was taking all his strength to hold them back. Christian stopped talking. I have seen him in many states, but none like this.
"But.. what?"
"There was my mother and father. Mom walked towards me, she placed her hands on my arms and then kissed me. Mom then looked at me. It was as if she was looking into my soul. I tried to mask the fear in my eyes. As you have often said, I entered CEO mode. My mom said… I can't believe it still. My mom said that I had messed up more than ever, but no matter what that she loved me. That she and dad loved me and always will. My mother then gave me a small sympathetic smile. It was the same smile I first saw as a child at the hospital when I woke up and there she was. I told my parents that I would see them soon and left."
"I have hurt my parents more than any other person. They gave me everything and I failed them; however, they still love me. They still want me to be happy." I didn't expect anything less from Grace and Carrick Grey. Especially Grace. They were the epitome of perfect love and forgiveness. Oh, how I wish I could be so forgiving, but I guess they were right when they said that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
"You need to finish eating."
"It's delicious." I sit there for the next few minutes that it takes him to finish the meal.
"You should go to bed. Sleep off the alcohol that must still be in your system."
"Yes, Ma'am." I smile at has a response, but hate that he can still invoke these feelings in me. Christian and I stand. I make a move to grab my bag, but Christian blocks me. "Stay with me tonight, Ana. It's late. Let me hold you. Let me love you."
"No. That's not why I came here tonight. I came so Elliot wouldn't have a stroke wondering if you had drunk yourself into smithereens while comforting your parents due to your ... transgressions. Tonight had nothing to do with love." I reply bitterly.
"You said you still loved me."
"I do, but.."
"No buts. It's been weeks. Let me hold you in our bed, or at the very least stay in one of the guest rooms. Have breakfast with me. I can repay the favor for dinner."
"I can't. It wouldn't be fair."
"To whom?"
"To both of us."
"But you are willing to go around kissing strange men? I know that you that have been hitting the bars and clubs with plans on kissing as many men as possible. The description I received is that you were on the prowl." I want to roll my eyes, make a sarcastic comment and throw his encounter with Leila in his face, but I don't. I could be honest and explain that while I did plan on this and even kissed a few men, out of vengeance, though this venture lasted less than two days. The memory of Christian was too fresh in my mind and I had to accept that I wasn't ready to move on. My heart wouldn't let me. Instead, I stand with my head up high. I won't give him a response.
"Good night Christian. I will let Elliot know that you are 'ok'." I don't dare to kiss him goodbye, or even share any sort of touch with him. Rather I walk out, focusing on each step.
"Don't go. I am sorry. I didn't mean it like that."
"It seems that you end most of our conversations, no matter how rare they are with you saying 'sorry and you didn't mean it'. I need to go home. I did what I promised Elliot I would do." I spin around and begin to walk out. Just as soon as I believe that Christian is either still too far under the influence or is too overcome to have the last word, he stops me.
"Ana, before you go there is something I meant to give you. I was going to give it to you after our wedding, but of course, that never happened. This belongs to you." I frown confused as Christian opens the drawer of the antique side table. In his hands is a manila envelope.
"I don't want anything that is your Christian."
"This belongs to you."
"If you were to give it to me on our wedding night, then that envelope would constitute a wedding present. We never got married so it's not mine. It still belongs to you. Good night." I quickly enter the elevator and by the Grace of God, the doors close quickly.
# # # #
"Morning," Kate greets me with a cup of tea. It's past ten in the morning and I have only just woken up.
"Thanks. I need this big time!" Kate looks at me sympathetically and uncharacteristically doesn't start with her usual interrogation. I must look awful. "Did Elliot come back here last night?"
"Yes, but only at four in the morning. Grace and Carrick were pretty upset and after reassuring them that they hadn't failed as parents, Elliot went for a long run on the property. I think he needed to clear his head. Elliot is still asleep in my bed. In fact, I am going to go back to bed and read until he wakes up. How was Christian?"
"Drunk, but alive. He will be all right."
"Is that all?"
"Yes," I reply so harshly that Kate knows not to press the matter.
"Alright, Steele," Kate answers raising her eyebrows. "So, what are you going to do today?"
"I am not sure. I will probably go for a walk or something." Yes, a walk might be good. Maybe some fresh air will give me the strength to finally take the next step in what I have pretty much decided on my future. There is no way I can remain on paid leave from SIP.
"I will catch you later... oh, by the way, did you misplace this? I found this near the door this morning. It has your name on it. " Kate passes me the envelope. I know who it is from. I would recognize the writing anywhere, plus he tried to give it to me last night.
"Oh, yes. Thanks. I have been wondering where I put that." I take it only to prevent any questioning. Kate regards me cautiously as I try to act casual a little too hard. My best friend knows me too well. She will be able to see through me though Kate takes pity on me considering my recent history.
"Will you be home for dinner?"
"Sure. If you're good, I will even let you in the kitchen." I lightly joke and smile as I listen to Kate laugh and walk off to her room.
Alone in the kitchen area of our apartment, I run my fingers along the sides of the envelope. I am not even going to question how Christian or Taylor or Sawyer or whoever is on my former fiancé's books, got this envelope inside the apartment. I toss it aside and concentrate on drinking my tea. At least, I attempt to. I clutch the envelope once more. I want to know what game Christian is playing.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Review if you wish.
Also many thanks to MrsCTGrey who beta'ed this.