"Em, I'll meet you right here after first period," Jay said as they stood in front of her classroom before class.
"Jay, I'm fine. I just didn't get much sleep. I'll meet you here," Emma said reassuringly. She kissed him lightly on the cheek and walked into class. He left for his own class moving down the hallways quickly as not to be late.
Emma took she regular seat among the familiar classmates. It was the same setting and the same people but somehow she was different. She jumped every time someone's chair would screech across the floor or someone would say her name. She tried hard to focus on class but ended up doodling in her notebook all hour.
She finished class with a well sketched Jay standing in front of her protectively and a speech bubble saying, I'll keep you safe. She smiled and flipped her notebook shut as the bell rang. She slid everything into her bag and stood up to leave.
"Emma, can I talk to you for a minute?" Mr. Armstrong said to her.
"Yeah, sure what is it?" Emma asked anxious to leave. More to see Jay than anything else.
"Emma, I noticed your lack of focus today in class. Did you ever think of taking the week off?" Armstrong asked concerned about Emma's well being.
She offered a small smile and shook her head no, "I'm fine just tired that's all but thanks for the concern."
She smiled again and left the classroom, Jay was waiting right outside the door like he said he would. She smiled at his effort to make sure she was okay and took his hand and walked towards her locker.
"Em, are you sure you're okay? We can go to my place for the day," Jay suggested seeing right through her fake smile. Emma stood at her locker not speaking, then someone dropped a book loudly onto the ground.
Emma jumped and wrapped her arms around Jay quickly. She breathed heavy and gripped tightly. Jay shut her locker and walked her towards Simpson's classroom.
"Um, Mr. Simpson, Emma isn't doing so well right now can I take her home?" Jay asked awkwardly not dropping Emma's hand. Archie looked at Emma curiously and she nodded. He then nodded and waved them off.
The teenagers took off down the hallways of Degrassi and out the front doors. Emma climbed quickly into Jay's front seat and Jay into the drivers seat. They were at his place in a matter of minutes.
"Em, I think it's probably best we stay here today," Jay said concerned.
She shrugged, "Anywhere is better than Degrassi, I jump at every loud noise."
He offered up a sad smile and led them into the apartment. It was small but well lit and clean. Who knew Jay was so clean?
Emma flopped down onto the couch in the living room. Jay sat down next to her and she moved into his arms. He wrapped both arms securely around her small frame as she played with the strings on his sweater.
"You make me feel safer than I ever have, you know that?" Emma asked Jay in a small voice.
Jay kissed the top of her head that lay on his chest, "Yeah?"
She nodded, "Yeah, you make me feel like no matter what you'll do you best to protect me."
He sighed, "You know I would. I'm here for you Em. Yesterday was hard for all of us but really hard for you. I'm not going anywheres, you need me."
Emma nodded again, "Yeah I do. It's not something I can just get over or something that by not going to school for a few days can fix. I just need time and someone to be there for me."
Jay kissed her head once more, "I can be that someone. No matter what time it is or what I am doing, I'll come see you and try to help you."
Emma sighed, "I'm glad you're saying that because I can see myself calling you a lot in the middle of the night."
Jay laughed, "I didn't sleep much either, I was worried about you."
Emma looked up at him with her big brown eyes, "Really?"
He nodded and brushed her cheek lightly with his thumb, she relaxed at his touch. She smiled and laid her head back down on his chest. Finally feeling safe and protected from everything she let her eyes close and she slept.
He watched her carefully as she slept. He wondered how he gotten so lucky. He really liked her, it was moving fast but Jay knew he really liked her and cared about her a lot. Jay and Manny had never gotten to the L word. Jay had trouble with the L word. He knew when he felt it but couldn't say it.
He sighed and closed his eyes to sleep with her. Neither of them woke up until late afternoon. Emma stirred awake first waking up Jay too. She gave stored smile and say up, "What time is it?"
Jay picked up his phone and flipped it open, "Close to 4:30."
Emma stood up and fixed her hair and shirt, "I should probably go. Thanks for being there today." She kissed him lightly on the lips and went to walk home.
"Hey, wait up. I'll drive you," Jay said grabbing his keys.
She shook her head, "No, it's fine. I'll walk, it's okay."
He nodded and watched her leave. As she walked away from his apartment she felt like suddenly she didn't know him as well as she thought she did. She knew she was pushing him away a few moments ago but hopefully he didn't notice. She walked casually down the street and in her front door. She slid out of her shoes and walked into the kitchen.
Snake was sitting at the table and looked up from his laptop, "Where were you?"
Emma sat down across from him, "I was at Jay's. he took me there because it was quiet."
Snake lifted his eyebrows, "Is there something going on I should know about? Are you two more than friends? Emma you just broke it off with Sean."
Emma sighed and looked at her hands, "Yeah, we're more than friends. I'm just not sure if it's the right thing. I think we may be better just as friends."
Snake pursed his lips and shrugged, "I can't make that decision for you Em."
Emma nodded and stood from the table, "Call me when supper is ready," and she retreated to her basement bedroom. She flopped onto her bed staring up at the ceiling above. She sighed and then closed her eyes.
She jumped when the vision of Rick appeared. It happened every time she closed her eyes, except when in Jay's arms. Maybe it had nothing to do with that, maybe it was just how tired she was. She was doubting her relationship with Jay and she knew it. They needed to talk.
"Hey Baby," Jay said into the phone when he picked up.
"Hey, can you come over?" Emma said quietly her voice cracking a little.
"What's wrong?" Jay asked picking up his keys and heading out the door.
"I'm just worried," Emma stated quietly, again.
"About what Em?" Jay asked being curious.
"Can we just talk about it when you get here," Emma half begged.
"Yeah, of course, babe. I'll see you in a few," Jay said hanging up the phone and jumping into his civic. He pulled up to Emma's house within minutes and went to the front door. He knocked lightly and Snake opened the door, "Hi Jay."
Jay nodded, "Hi Mr.S, can I go see Emma? She called and wanted to talk."
Snake stepped to the side and let Jay enter, "Downstairs."
Jay gave a small smile and went down to see Emma, "Em?"
She sat on her bed with her legs crossed, "Hey." She gave a fragile smile and he sat down on the bed too.
"What's wrong?" Jay knew immediately something was really off.
"Jay are you sure we can do this?" Emma asked looking down.
"Do what Emma?" Jay asked getting serious.
Emma gave a small shrug and took a deep breath, "Us."
Jay widened his eyes and moved closer to her, "Emma I was honestly hopelessly in love with you. I love you. I said it and I mean it."
Emma looked up with gleaming eyes and smiled, "I love you too."
"Then why are you having doubts Em?" Jay asked pulling her onto his lap.
She sighed and dug her head into his neck, "I don't think I can give you everything you need right now."
He sighed and realized she meant sex. He loved Emma, he was smitten and could wait for her. "Emma, I don't need that."
Emma kissed his neck lightly, "I know you didn't know this and I don't want you to get upset but Sean and I did have sex."
Emma felt Jay tense up when she mentioned Sean like that, she kissed his neck once more and snuggled closer and she felt him relax a little.
"Em, please don't tell me her forced you," Jay said quietly resting his head on hers.
"Jay, he didn't force me but I didn't enjoy it that much," Emma's voice cracked and a tear fell onto Jay's shoulder.
Jay felt the tear on his shoulder he moved her to look her in the eyes, "Em, I don't ever want you to feel like that with me. I'll wait years if I have to, okay?"
Emma cracked a smile, "Years? I hardly doubt that."
Jay smirked, "I would but I don't want to. Trust me Em, if I could I would jump you right now but I want you to be ready first. Besides what would your parents say if they heard us right now."
Emma blushed and looked away. Jay's eyes widened, no they didn't. Emma's parents did not catch her and Sean this summer. "They know," was all she said.
"Emma did you parents really catch you doing it with Sean this summer?" Jay asked quietly trying not to grin.
Emma hit his arm, "That is our secret okay?" Then she had a flash back of the beginning of the summer. She remembered keeping a secret about her and Sean in Jay's car this summer. She grinned again.
"What?" Jay asked curiously. She shook her head no. She wasn't about to tell him that one. He really wanted to know this one. He tickled her sides until she caved, "Okay! I'll tell you but you can't get mad. Especially since it's about your baby."
Jay cocked his head, "My car?"
Emma nodded and tried not to grin, "At the beginning of the summer Sean borrowed your car and took me to Wasaga with him. Well at that point we were at the point of teasing each other but not really doing much. So he teased me a little and I got mad but then I decided to be really mean. He was driving and I went down on him." She choked out the last words quietly.
Jay's eyes widened and he jumped up from the bed, "You sucked my best friend off in my car!"
Emma looked down half feeling guilty and half laughing about it, "I said no getting mad."
Jay took a step back, "Em, I'm not mad I'm kind of grossed out."
Emma stood in front of him, "Oh really? Is that jealousy I hear?" She taunted Jay as he began to get angrier. Emma giggled. The next thing she knew she was pinned down to the bed on her back with Jay over top of her just inches apart.
She gasped.
"I have jealousy issues when it comes to you. We're never discussing Sean ever again. I don't think I was ever jealous before you so watch it," Jay warned being completely serious.
"You are so cute when your jealous. It's kinda hot actually," Emma stated with a smirk. She pulled Jay down on top of her and pressed her lips firmly to his arching her back into him. He slid an arm behind her to hold her just off the bed. He kissed her once more and pulled away.
"I love you, and you are mine. That's the only reason I am ever jealous. I was willing to share Alex because she is a slut. You however I do not want to share with anyone and I don't plan on sharing you either," Jay warned giving her a look. She cracked a smile and kissed his nose quickly.
The door opened at the top of the stairs, "Emma, it's too late for Jay to be here. Say goodbye."
Emma rolled her eyes at her mother's voice, "I love you now go on before they get mad."
Jay smirked and stood them up, "No more doubts?"
She shook her head and he smiled and kissed her lightly and turned to go upstairs. Emma smirked and let her hand sneak across his ass as he walked away. He smirked and glanced back at her with a wink.
xxx
"Hey Manny," Emma said walking up to Manny's locker.
"Hey Em, listen can you be honest with me?" Manny asked seriously.
Emma swallowed the lump in her throat. Had Manny heard about Jay and Emma? Emma was going to tell her. Emma and Jay walked around school in the morning yesterday but Emma was sure that Manny wasn't around.
"Yeah sure Manny," Emma said trying her best to smile.
"Okay, I don't want to be the dumb girl who believes all the gossip but I also don't want be the dumb best friend who doesn't know what's going on. Are you and Jay together?" Manny asked talking quickly and quietly.
Emma looked down at her Birkenstocks and nodded, "Yeah Manny we are."
Manny widened her eyes, "Emma I can not believe you." Manny was not even close to being over Jay. They hadn't broken up that long ago and Manny loved Jay. She thought she did anyways.
Emma felt a pang of guilt in the pit of her stomach, "Manny I'm sorry."
Manny rolled her eyes and Jay trotting down the hallway towards Emma with a smile, "Whatever Emma, go to hell."
Emma gasped and turned away from Manny to catch Jay walking up. "Hey Em, what was that?" Jay motioned to Manny running down the hallway away from Emma.
"Gossip travels faster than I can manage to get up the courage to tell my best friend about a certain someone so she got mad and told me to go to hell," Emma said bluntly.
"Oh wow, sorry Em," Jay said raising both eyebrows as he huffed out. Manny could be a bitch if she wanted to be.
Emma shrugged, "Whatever, I have you."
Jay laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they walked down the hall for lunch, "Em, I love you and all but I can't be your only friend."
Emma scowled, "But why not, you're not going to tell me to go to hell."
Jay kissed the top of her head, "No I won't but you still need someone."
Emma laughed, "Okay fine."
Jay noticed Toby and JT outside having lunch and dragged Emma over.
"Hey Em," JT said with a curious look at Jay.
"Hey guys, Manny told me to go to hell so can we join?" Emma asked with a smile.
"Yeah sure Em, one question though," Toby spoke up this time.
"Shoot," Emma said pulling out a sandwich for herself. Jay sat next to her with a can of pop.
"What's with the badass accessory?" JT blurted out before Toby could.
Emma laughed and Jay have the boys a look of warning, "He's the reason Manny wants to chop off my head."
JT and Toby nodded understanding the situation, "Oh cool. I'm sure we can be your new friends since Manuela is being a meanie today. She never did fit in here anyways, she was a wannabe."
Toby laughed, "JT I recall you trying to hang with the cool people too at one point."
Emma and Jay both joined in laughing and Jay scowled. "Guys come on," JT pleaded for them to stop.
"You guys are such dorks," Jay said shaking his head. They all turned and gave him a look and winced when Emma caught her elbow in his side.
He put his hands up in defense, "Never said it was a bad thing."