A/N: Oh goodie! You came here for the Easter Fic Hunt! Sadly, I must tell you the oneshot is hidden in T for Temari and Troublesome Chapter 3 :)
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Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Kishimoto
Inside Shikamaru's head
Mission: More terrifying than an S-ranked.
The Objective: To infiltrate the Nara Residence in order to reach The Bed.
The Obstacle: Just one. A deadly kunoichi.
Plan A: Enter through the third bedroom window. Cross to the dresser. Take cover. Tiptoe to bed. May use Kagemane no Jutsu as a last resort.
The Possible Scenarios:
1. The kunoichi may still be awake. She may attack with that wind jutsu of hers. She may wreck the Nara Residence. Will bring the worst scenario since this will involve the meddling of the senior female Nara. Avoid at all cost.
2. The kunoichi is asleep already. Proceed with caution. If she awakes bind her with the shadow technique. Limitation of this plan: she will struggle against the shadow and I can only hold it for a few minutes. Possible retribution would be immense.
3. The kunoichi is not inside the room. Already the worst scenario.
3.A The kunoichi probably travelled back to Suna. Increase number of obstacles forthcoming. Possible result: death either by sand asphyxiation, puppet encasement or fan manglement.
3.B The kunoichi went to the other room. The kunoichi would have found an ally in the older Nara woman. Death may not be as quick as in scenario 3.A but probably it would be more painful.
3.C The kunoichi cannot be found. The worst of the worst of all the scenarios. Planning for this would be considered highly extensive and troublesome. Worry quotient would be the highest. Result the most unpredictable. Death may be preferable. Good thing this one is highly improbable.
Plan B: Say sorry and offer my head for that tessen blow. Be whipped. Tch this plan sucks.
Plan C: Ignore her and enter the bedroom through the door. Act as if nothing has gone wrong. It is just the celebration of the kunoichi's first wedding anniversary. She can still celebrate it if she has really wanted to. My presence is just superfluous. The kunoichi may not see it that way. This plan may actually make her angrier. Cross out this plan.
Plan D: Give a peace offering probably flowers and a promise that I won't be late again. Seems impossible to keep and the kunoichi would probably think so too. Possible recurrence of the same situation in the future would be high and the promise would only worsen the situation later on. And the Yamanaka flower shop is already closed at this time.
Plan E: Back to plan B with slight revision. Say sorry. Don't proffer the head to be strike by the fan though. Don't be whipped. Yeah a good plan but it wouldn't work. The kunoichi would demand retribution.
Plan F: Minor revision to plan B again. Don't say sorry. Just present the head to be hit with the big folding fan of hers and say that you both will call it even. Chance of this plan working is slim. But this plan is the most advisable since it won't be as whipped as plan B…Tch not as whipped… Who the hell am I kidding?
Decision: Tch just proceed with Plan F. Don't mention the reason for being late. Admitting you forgot would be similar to committing suicide. As it is prepare self for intense pain.
Oh kami here I go...
11/16,20/10
A/N: Yay, my 20th posted fic! Hope people would continue to read my stories and give me reviews even for my old ones. Thanks!