"Oh, my god," Selina said. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Past Damon shrugged. "I was chasing after this man, and then there was a big flash of light and here I am. But the question is, where is 'here'?"

Selina sighed. "Well, let me just say you're a long way from home, and leave it at that. I don't think it would be right for me to tell you more."

Just then, Elijah strode into the kitchen looking uncharacteristically rumpled. "Well," he said, striding up to Selina and giving her a kiss, "I have no intention of going back in time ever again."

"You went back in time?" Selina asked him. "Did you, by chance, end up during when I was alive? And did you mean to bring Damon back with you?"

"Oh, no!" Elijah said with a groan when he noticed Damon on the kitchen floor. "What are you doing here?"

"Relax," Selina said, trying to calm him down. "I don't think he came on purpose. That's something we're trying to figure out, actually."

"Well, while he figures it out, he'll have to go stay somewhere else, because I won't let him remain under my roof," Elijah said. "And that's final."

"Well then, where is he supposed to stay?" Selina asked.

Elijah shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well, that's not really fair, is it?" Selina asked him. "You say Damon needs to leave and you can't even suggest another place to put him."

"Well, all right!" Elijah said, throwing up his hands. "Go take him to Lucy's. She's got space there, doesn't she?"

"Well, yes," Selina nodded. "I mean, Lenora's there with her because Adrian and Helene are out of town, but no one else is there."

"Fine," Elijah nodded. "Take him to Lucy's."

"Where are we going?" Past Damon asked, adjusting his tie. "Lina, where are you taking me?" Selina had already compelled him to just accept all the technological advancements around him like cars so he wouldn't ask questions that she didn't feel she should answer.

"We're taking you to see Lucy," Selina replied. "You can't stay at our house and I don't know where else to take you."

"Who is this Lucy?" Damon asked. "Is she nice?"

"Yeah, she's nice," Selina said. "But just to warn you, she might be a little...antagonistic when she sees you. Because as you know, you're not supposed to be here. And the you who is supposed to be here is gone and doesn't know that you're here. So just...be prepared, all right?"

"Antagonistic, you say?" Damon asked with a twinkle in his eye. "I don't mind strong women. I was about to handle you, wasn't I?"

Selina sighed and thought to herself, "What did I see in him again? He's not the way I remember at all!"

When they reached Lucy and Damon's house, Damon left the car and went to the front door, knocking for a moment. Then, Lenora opened the door.

"Hi!" She said, throwing herself into his arms. Then she looked up into his eyes and let him go. "I'm Lenora," she said. "Who are you?"

Just a few moments later, Lucy came in wearing a bathrobe and, like Lenora had, hugged him hard. But i second later, she pulled away, frowning. "Who the hell are you?" She asked him.

"I'm Damon Salvatore of course," he said with a grin. "And who might you be? And what do you charge?"

Lucy's eyes narrowed. "What are you saying? I am not a prostitute! I am an artist!"

Damon grinned. "They all are." He looked her over. "You know, you're very beautiful."

Lucy slapped him. "And you're very presumptuous, whoever you are. Now I am going to put on some clothes and then you are going to give me some answers, you got me?"

Damon rubbed the red spot on his cheek. "As you wish," he said. He sat down on the sofa. "Hurry," he said. "I'm not used to being kept waiting."

Lucy scoffed, grabbed Lenora's hand and the two of them went to Lucy's bedroom to talk.

"That's not Damon," Lenora said. "That's somebody else."

"Actually," Lucy said, "I think it is Damon, I just...I don't know why he's even here. He and Stefan are out of town. And I don't know why he's dressed so atypically either."

Lenora shrugged and then gasped, her hand coming up to her mouth. "Oopsie!"

"What's wrong?" Lucy asked.

"This might be my fault," Lenora said. "Uncle Elijah wanted a time travel spell to meet Grandma Selina when she was human, but Grandpa Alistair was busy, so I said I'd do it. Then Grandma Astrid found out what I did and made me bring him back. Damon must have come with him."

Lucy sighed and shut her eyes tight. "Well, you can send him back, right? You know how?"

Lenora nodded. "I think I can send him back okay."

"Good," Lucy said. "Now let me get dressed and then let's go back to the living room and hope nothing else bad happens."

She dressed and then the pair went back to the living room and sat in chairs next to Damon on the sofa.

"Sorry we were so surprised by you earlier," Lucy said. "I hope we didn't come off too rude."

Damon nodded. "Lina mentioned that I might make you a little nervous. She also said that there's another me that's around somewhere."

"Yes," Lucy nodded. "He's the one l like."

Damon leaned forward. "I don't know how else to answer your question," he said. "I really am Damon Salvatore, and how I got here, I have no idea. One minute, I was home where I belonged, in 1863, and the next, here I am in this time." He shrugged.

"Well, we have to get you back, don't we?" Lucy asked. "That would be the most logical thing."

Damon nodded. "But I don't know how I got here, much less how to get back."

Lucy sighed. "Lenora can help you. In the mean time, you'll sleep on the sofa, although why my mother saw fit to drop you off here, I have no idea."

Damon frowned. "Who is your mother?"

"I think you called her Lina," Lucy replied.

Damon's eyes widened. "Lina is your mother?" He stood up quickly. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm very sorry. I suppose I'll have to go find a hotel to stay in, won't I?"

"Why?" Lucy asked. "You're not even from this time. Why would you risk wandering around when you have no real idea where you are?"

Damon shook his head. "There are so many things I don't know, among them how Lina is still here, and how I am still here. But there's one thing I do know: If Lina is your mother, I must be your father, so I apologize if I was too forward.

"Wait a minute!" Lucy began. "You're not-" Stop, a voice in her head told her. Let him think what he needs to so he won't try to pull anything. And in a sense, he wasn't wrong.

She cleared her throat. "You're not wrong about that," she finished. "And given our new-found relationship, I'll let you sleep in the extra bedroom. Just let me make it up for you first."

As Lucy and Lenora were making up the extra bed after they'd dressed, Lenora asked Lucy, "Why did you tell Damon he's your daddy? He's not!"

"I know that," Lucy said. "But I can't tell him the truth, can I? I don't think it would be safe for him to be wandering around in a world that exists almost two hundred years after he does, and I figured that if he thought we were related, he'd be more likely to stay put until you send him back."

"Oh," Lenora nodded. "Okay, that makes sense. I just hope nothing else bad happens." They finished making up the bed and then there was a knock on the door. "Come in," Lucy called.

Damon opened it with a grin and came inside. "You're in here. Good. I've knocked on so many doors. Anyway, a young man who looks disturbingly like me has made his way into the house. Do you know him? He didn't seem phased by the sight of me at all. He just smiled and told me he thought my outfit was nice and that he 'liked the new look'."

"Oh, god!" Lucy groaned. "Of all the days for Sammy to make a surprise visit home from his tour!"

"Tour?" Damon asked, looking intrigued. "Is he in the military?"

"No," Lucy shook her head. "He's a singer. He and his band are holding concerts around the world right now, but he comes back to visit the other you occasionally, when he's got a break."

Just then, the door opened and Sam poked his head in. "So this is where the party is," he said. He sat next to Damon on the bed. "And like I told you before, Dad, I like the new look. It's very neat."

Damon looked at him and blinked. "Who are you?" He asked. Then he looked at Lucy. "Who's that?"

"Well," Lucy said to him, "This is Sammy. He's my brother." She paused. "Does that sound right?" She asked herself aloud.

"Yes!" Sam said. "I am your brother, no matter how much I want to deny it. Are you okay? Have you been experimenting with drugs to help your art or something?"

Lucy frowned and hit Sam on the arm. "Hey!" she said sternly. "Be nice!"

"Yeah!" Lenora said, hitting Sam again. "Be nice!"

"Geez!" Sam said, rubbing his arm and looking at the girls sourly. "I was just making a joke. You don't have to be violent."

Just then, Sam's phone rang. He looked down to see who it was, and when he looked back up at Lucy, Lenora, and Past Damon, his eyes widened in shock. "Excuse me," he said. "I have to go take this. I'll be back in a minute."

Damon shut his phone, put it back in his pocket, and strode back to sit next to Stefan at the bar. "That was the weirdest conversation I've ever had," he said.

"Why?" Stefan asked. "What happened?"

"Well, I was just making my weekly call to check on Sam and he sounded weird," Damon said. "He kept asking if it was really me he was talking to and then wondered aloud how I could be in two places at once."

"Why would he ask something like that?" Stefan asked.

Damon shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, it didn't sound like he was drunk or anything. He sounded genuinely confused, almost frightened."

"Well," Stefan said, "Wait and see if he calls again. That might clear things up."

But Sam didn't call again. The next person Damon heard from was Lucy.

"I bet Sam sounded pretty weird on the phone today, huh?" She asked. "You're probably wondering what that was all about."

"Was he drinking before I called?" Damon asked. "Could you tell?"

"No," Lucy said. "He wasn't drinking. What really happened was...you're not gonna believe this, but you're at the house. Old you. Human you."

"How the hell is that possible?" Damon asked.

"Lenora told me she cast some sort of spell for Uncle Elijah to help him learn about Mom when she was human. She sent him back in time, and when Astrid had her undo the spell, not just Elijah came back to the present. You did too. I don't know how that could have happened, though."

"Just a second," Damon said. "I might be able to tell you how." He took the phone away from his ear and shut his eyes, a memory he hadn't thought of in years coming back to him.

"I was fighting with him," he told Lucy finally. "Elijah was putting the moves on your mom and I didn't like it, so I fought with him. I was chasing him away from the house, we were throwing punches, and then suddenly, there was a bright light and next thing I knew, I was..."

"...here?" Lucy finished quietly. "In our time?"

"Yes," Damon nodded. "I saw your mother and she was so...fat and I just...there was all this machinery I didn't recognize, and people I didn't know. I got back home eventually, and I would have had a hell of a time explaining to people where I went. But luckily for me, they just assumed that I got drunk at the tavern and wandered off somewhere. I never corrected them."

"That's so sad!" Lucy said. "Are you seriously telling me that the first thing people thought of when you went missing was that you got drunk and wandered off and so they weren't moved enough to go look for you? That's horrible! I would have gone to look for you. Even if I was the only one."

Damon grinned against his phone. "I know you would, Cookie Monster," he said. "I know you would."

"Lenora's working on finding a way to get you back home," Lucy said after a moment of silence. "Other you, I mean. So don't come home now, or things will be really messed up."

"Yeah, I know," Damon said. "I saw Back to the Future one, two and three. I know all of Doc's warnings by heart."

"Well, good," Lucy said. "Time travel problems aside, though, I do miss you a lot and I know this thing with Dad is a big pain in the ass, but he'll get over it eventually. I just have to humor him a bit, make him feel like we've bonded, and then it will be okay for you to come back."

"Yeah, but think about how long that's actually gonna take?" Damon said. "It could be years!"

"And we have those!" Lucy said. "We have lots and lots of years."

"Yeah, but what if I can't wait lots and lots of years?" Damon asked. "Or if I don't want to?"

Lucy sighed. "Damon, I'm sorry. But this is my father we're talking about, okay? My actual, biological father. And for whatever reason, mostly Mom and her issues, we didn't spend a lot of time together when I was growing up. And now that I'm thinking about getting married, he feels threatened. I think it's very important that I make him understand that I love him too, all right? Besides, it's not like you're all alone over there. You have Stefan for company."

"Well, I can't sleep with him, can I?" Damon snapped.

"Look at it this way," Lucy said. "When you get back and we're finally together again after so long, it'll just be so much better because it'll be like a reward after we both went through so much."

"Damn you, you little vixen!" Damon muttered under his breath.

"Good night," Lucy said cheekily. "I love you!"

"Yeah, sure you do," Damon said. "Good night, Lucy."

"I can't believe you went back in time just to see me," Selina said to Elijah the next day. "It was so sweet, but you didn't have to."

"Yes, I did," Elijah said. "Everyone else knew about your human life except me and I wanted to know. I realize that asking you might have been easier, but that's not the same as first hand experience."

Selina nodded. "Well, at least now I know where Damon disappeared to all the time he went missing. I always knew that he hadn't gotten drunk at a tavern and wondered off somewhere." She looked at Elijah. "So, what did you think of human me?"

"Well," Elijah said thoughtfully, "You were very direct, weren't you? You said essentially that I was boring and you wouldn't want to marry someone like me, ever."

"That was only at first," Selina reminded him. "Then we kissed and you made me forget you and I never saw you again. You do realize how not screwed up my life would have been if you'd stayed."

Elijah grinned at her. "Would you have been willing to endure the smug look on your mother's face if we had been able to marry when you were human?"

Selina shook her head. "Actually, that probably would have killed me, so it's a good thing we had to wait. Not to say that it didn't hurt after I turned and I remembered everything again."

"That's why I didn't erase your memory when I sent you away from Paris to save you from Father," he said. "I realized how much it hurt you the first time. And I don't blame you for behaving toward me the way you did when you and Niklaus were first together. In a way, I kind of deserved it."

"Well, you were the guy," Selina said. "You are the guy, and when a woman loses the guy, it does things to her." She paused. "Just one thing, though: It still wouldn't hurt you to be just a little rakish."

"Elijah!" Alistair said a few hours later. "Come in. What was it you wanted to talk to me about? Not another time travel spell, I hope. I heard your first one didn't exactly go smoothly."

"Yes," Elijah said, trying to avoid Alistair's eyes. "It didn't exactly go as well as planned, but I'm sure it will work itself out in the end. No, I actually came because I wanted to ask you about something else."

"Well, come sit down and we can talk," Alistair said. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No, thanks," Elijah said, walking into the living room and sitting down. "I'm all right."

"So," Alistair said, sitting down next to him. "What's on your mind?"

"It's something Selina said," Elijah told him. "She told me that it wouldn't hurt me to be rakish."

"And?" Alistair replied. "Did that bother you? What's the problem with it?"

"Well, I'd like to think that I'm not a boring person, but sometimes I think I bore Selina and I don't want that to be," Elijah said. "I want to excite her. I want to captivate her and make her feel desirable and fascinated by me, rather than just seeing me as the man who makes her stay home and watch our children every time something exciting happens. But I just don't know if I can do that by myself. Could you help me? Could you do some sort of spell that would make me, say...more like Niklaus?"

Alistair sighed. "I could, but honestly, do you really think this is the right way to fix your problem? Couldn't you at least try to light up naturally?"

"No," Elijah shook his head. "I need magic!"

Alistair looked at him for a long moment and sighed. "Fine," he said. "Then I'm sorry. I can't help you."

"Your grandfather is against this," Elijah said when he showed up at Lucy's the next day and Lenora let him in. "So could you help me with something?"

"What do you need?" Lenora asked. "Grandma says I'm not allowed to send you back in time anymore."

"Oh, it's not that," Elijah assured her. "It's something else entirely. I want you to make me more fun. Can you do that?"

"Why can't you be fun by yourself?" Lenora asked.

"Because it's just not the way I am," Elijah said.

"How come you want me to do it?" Lenora asked. "How come Grandpa Alistair wouldn't help you?"

"Because he thinks I should try and do things by myself too," Elijah told her. "He gives me much more credit than he should."

"So you want me to make you more fun?" Lenora asked.

"Yes," Elijah nodded. "Take my inhibitions away. Make it so I'll do anything!"

"Well, okay," Lenora sighed. "But don't blame me if something goes wrong." She went and got a book and opened it, along with a small wooden box, which she kept open beside her. She began muttering words under her breath. Suddenly, there was a large gust of wind that came from nowhere, mussing Elijah's hair and clothes. It was so strong it knocked him off his feet. He opened his mouth to try and get a breath and white, wispy air went from his mouth and into the box Lenora had brought with her. She shut it quickly. "I can't lose this box," she said. "It's got all your sense in it."

Elijah stood up slowly. "So I'm fun now?"

Lenora shrugged. "You should be. Go and see. Do something that you wouldn't normally do. Oh, and could you just keep this a secret between us? Please?"

"Sure," Elijah nodded and, grinning, patted Lenora on the head. "Thanks, kid. Now I'm off to see if this magic of yours really works."

The first thing Elijah decided to do after he left Lucy's was to get himself a new wardrobe. His suits didn't exactly scream "Here is a man who is fun." He drove to the mall, parked his car in the parking lot, and strode inside, passing the store where he usually got his suits and looking around for a place that sold casual wear. He finally found one and strode up to a pretty saleswoman.

"This is going to sound ridiculous," he said to her. "But I came here to buy my first pair of jeans and I don't exactly know how to find ones that fit properly. Help me."

She looked at him and nodded. "All right," she said. "Come with me."

They went over to the shelves that had jeans on them and she looked at him. "Do you know your pants size?" She asked. He told her and she grabbed a few pairs of jeans and led him to the dressing room. "Try these," she said. "They should fit right. And after you do that, we'll get you some t-shirts to go with them. I assume that since it's the first time you're trying on jeans you don't have t-shirts either?"

"Nope!" Elijah called back. "I don't have any t-shirts either." Elijah tried on the jeans and they all fit except one pair, which was a bit small, and then when the saleswoman came in to get all his purchases for checkout, he grabbed her, putting one hand on her mouth and compelling her not to scream as he took a long drink from her, then making her forget it. After that, he cleaned himself up and he and the saleswoman picked out t-shirts for him. By the time they finished picking out things, they both had to carry the shirts and jeans. They piled them up at the checkout counter and she rang everything up. "That will be $550 please," she said cheerfully. Elijah locked eyes with her. "But I already paid for everything," he said. "Remember? So I think I'll just take my things and be on my way. You have a good day now." The woman nodded, put everything in bags and handed them to him.

"Have a good day," she said. "Do you think you'll be able to handle all that stuff by yourself?"

"Yes," Elijah said, hefting the bags. "I'll be fine."

He took them out to his car and drove them home.

Elijah got back to the house and went inside, put the bags with his jeans and shirts in it down and looked around for Selina. "Babe?" he called. "Are you home?"

When he got no response, he laughed to himself, picked up the bags and went to stand in front of the mirror in his and Selina's bedroom. He stripped off his clothes so that he was standing only in his boxers, then removed a pair of jeans from the bag and put them on. They fit like a glove, just as they had in the store when the extremely eager saleswoman had watched him try them on. He buttoned them, zipped them up and grinned. Oh, yes. He looked good. As he gazed at himself, he heard a gasp. "Oh, my god!" Selina said. She ran into the room and pushed him against the wall to get a good look at him. "You're wearing jeans! You look so hot! Do they fit right?"

Elijah grinned. "I believe so," he said. "But why don't you have a look for yourself?"

Raising an eyebrow, Selina ran her hands over his bottom and gave it a squeeze, and then ran over the crotch with her fingers. Elijah shut his eyes and groaned. "Crotch seems a little tight," Selina said to him with a wink once she took her hand away. "But if you think they fit fine, who am I to contradict you?"

"How long has it been since you've been out of this house just for fun?" Elijah asked Selina.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Why?"

"Well," Elijah said, pulling her to him so her head rested on his shoulder. "I was thinking we might go out. All you'd have to do is get yourself a sexy dress, preferably in blue to go with your pretty eyes and I think we could have a good night."

"It sounds like a good idea," Selina said. "But just so you know, with the size that I am, I don't think anything could make me look sexy. And just to warn you, I spend most of my day with kids under five, so I'm not even sure I know how to have an adult conversation. You might think I'm too boring."

"Well, I never said we had to talk," Elijah whispered in her ear. "Unless you want to, that is. I did have other things besides talking in mind..."

Selina looked at him in amazement. "Other things? In public? Really?" She hugged him. "I can't wait!" she said. And with a mischievous twinkle in her eye finished with: "I especially can't wait to do the naughty things!"