Arabella
I stared at my phone in silence, hoping it would ring. Waiting for it to do anything but stay on that black screen. It had been days since Steve left, and soon after Tony left too. I knew there were a lot of politics going on in the news about the Avengers, but I never paid much attention to it; never really wanting to get dragged into all of it. I hadn't actually left my floor since I got back from the lunch with Pepper, but I knew that she was fed up with Tony and had decided to take a break from him and the company. She came to tell me about it before she left.
I laid awake in the dark, it was well past midnight, but the memories that plagued my mind wouldn't let me fall asleep. Same old story for me, I was getting used to it by now yet it was still frustrating. I hear a knock on my door, and my eyebrows furrowed.
'Who would want to see me this late?' my heart raced at the possibilities. It could be Steve coming to tell me he was back, maybe Tony to bother me, or was it someone coming to attack me? I put my hand on the door knob, ready to throw a punch at whoever was on the other side of the door. I yanked it open, and was about to swing my fist when I saw who was standing there.
"Pepper?"
She had tears trailing down her face, make up smudge, and red hair messy. Pushing her way past me, she sat on my bed and started to wipe the wet tears from her eyes.
"I'm sorry I came so late, I just really needed someone to talk to." I walked back to the bed and sat next to her.
"Its fine, I wasn't sleeping anyways."
"Right. I just" she choked on a sob "I can't do this anymore, he promises me change and then does the same things all over again." Realization flashed through my mind. She was talking about Tony, I had known that they were problems between the two, but didn't think they were this bad. Pepper continued,
"He said that he was done with those stupid suits, but he's up there right now making one. Those things almost caused my death, and he doesn't even seem to care." I rubbed her back slowly, I wasn't sure how to comfort her; much less the right words to say.
"I need a break, a long one, to just be by myself and figure out what I'm going to do with, well, everything."
"Then that's what you should do, take a vacation somewhere tropical and relax." I agreed with her need to be by herself, sometimes we all just need to be alone to know what this best thing to do is.
She nodded rapidly, and whipped some more tears.
"Can I stay in one of your rooms tonight? I really don't want to go back up there."
"Of course, whatever you need." She told me thanks and headed out to pick a room. I let out a sigh and threw myself back onto the pillows.
The very next day she left for the airport. I didn't tell Tony and he didn't come and ask me, so I assume she told him of her plans. Now it had been some days, and I hadn't heard anything from anybody. I wanted to know, and at the same time I didn't want to call and distract them from their task. I settled for staring at my phone until someone called. I baked so many pies and cakes, trying to keep myself busy. I had one in the oven now, I spent a lot of time in the kitchen, and it became sort of a comfort. Suddenly the silence was too much to bear.
"JARVIS play Pandora."
"Yes ma'am."
The sound of today's music hit the air, and I went to the sink to clean up my mess. A cell phone ring hit my ears, I quickly dried my hands and yelled for JARVIS to turn the music down. I picked up the phone.
"Hello?" I held my breath.
"Hey Aries." Relief flooded through me.
"Steve, finally."
"Yeah I know it's been some time, but I got him Arabella. We're going to help him get better." My heart sped up, but I didn't want to let myself feel happy. It wasn't going to be an easy process to bring him back from the way Hydra treated him, and I didn't even know if he remembered me.
"That's great."
"Don't try to sound too excited. What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing, just bring him back. Where is he going to stay?"
"We all think its best that Bucky and I stay at the Stark tower. It has a lot of space and medical facilities. It's perfect for his recovery."
"We all?" I questioned.
"The whole team has decided to stick together for a while; there are some issues that need to be worked on, so the Avengers are probably going to be around more often now. I just want to give you the heads up that were heading there now and should be back by night."
"Right well I'll see you then."
"Arabella. We're going to talk about it." Steve hung up the phone. Great, he did remember. One more thing to be nervous about. I stood by the sink, thinking of the outcome f tonight. Should I go and wait for them at the landing pad? Should I wait on Tony's floor, or should I just stay in my own safe haven and wait till someone seeks me out? I couldn't decide what to do.
'I'll just wait till the time comes and then make my choice.'
The oven beeped for the fifth time today, and I moved to take the pie out the oven and place it with the others on the stove.
Night came faster then I wanted it to, and I decided on the safer route; to stay on my floor. As soon as dark came, I went to my room, shut and locked the door. I know I was being gutless, but I wanted to protect myself in the only way I could, even if it meant hiding myself in a room. I sat on the chair by the window wearing my pajamas, staring at the buildings and stars in the dark. It was peaceful; I wasn't worried about the things around me and the problems on the other side of that door. JARVIS interrupted my thoughts.
"Mr. Stark is here to see you Ms. Rogers." I groaned. Well they are definitely here now. I stayed sitting, wondering if I kept him waiting long enough would he just leave.
Knock. Knock.
"Come on out Ara, I want to talk to you." His voice sounded muffled. I bit my lip before giving in and walking out to talk to Tony. I pushed past him and lead him to the living room, I didn't want anyone else in my safe place. I plopped down on the love seat, Tony sat opposite of me on the long couch arms thrown out on the back of it.
"Everyone's here, why didn't you come up and wait for us?" I gave him a quick shrug and turned my head to look out the window.
"You're going to have to see him eventually, he lives here now for god sakes. Why do you insist on dragging this out?"
"I'm just not ready Tony." Whispering my answer to him, I hugged myself tight. He squinted at me a long second, then stood up.
"No not good enough, I'm not taking that for an answer. Let's go, stand up." I gawked at him. He couldn't be serious. Impatient he stalked toward me and grabbed my arm, dragging me with him to the elevator. He pressed the top floor button and the doors closed. I started to bite the inside of my lip, reverting to a nervous habit. We reached the top fast, stepping onto the level. The whole group was here, my brother, Bruce, Clint, Natasha, even Thor. I saw Bucky sitting in the corner silent, away from everyone but still close to Steve. I tried to sneak quietly to the bar that was far from everyone, but Tony was having none of that.
"Here we are! Just a couple minutes late, had to work out a few kinks." He yelled in a playful tone. I winced as heads turned in my direction. That's just fantastic, so much for going unnoticed. I avoid their gazes, well not so much everyone's, just one person. I still sat at the bar, watching the team talk and converse about the day's events.
"Don't want to join in?" I look to my left to see Bruce standing there, a look of inquiry adorned his face.
"I actually prefer to be by myself, Tony wasn't having it." I rubbed the back of my neck. Bruce nods refilling his drink.
"Yeah he always seems to get you to do what he wants." He took a seat next to me.
My eyes went to Bucky. He looked so different. He had long hair now that stopped just after his chin, and his left arm was metal; obviously Hydras doing. A light beard of hair on his face, he was still as handsome as ever. His blue eyes stared at the floor, ignoring the people in the room. This is exactly what I was afraid of. I'd see him, he's be completely different and not even remember me. All I wanted to do was go into his arms, and hid away from the world in them. That wasn't possible, not while he didn't know who he used to be. It tore my heart up, and I didn't know how to handle these emotions.
Abruptly Bucky's eyes met mine. Although it was unexpected, I kept eye contact; challenging him to look away. He mouthed something.
"Arabella." He swiftly looked away and back to the floor. Acting as if the moment didn't just happen. It took me a minute to realize what he had mouthed. My name.
A body stepped into my view of Bucky, I switch my gaze to the person standing in front of me. Steve is staring at me with hard eyes.
"Does he remember me?" I murmured. His eyes soften at my question.
"No Aries, he doesn't even hardly remember me."
"Did you ask him?" I pressed on.
"Of course." Steve replied with conviction. I laughed dryly.
"Then you all want to wonder why I didn't want to come up." I hopped off the bar stool, ready to make my exit. What's the point in even staying, he saw me, they asked him about me, he still doesn't remember. Now I'm just here to hurt myself, no point or reason to it. Steve grabbed my arm, pulling me back.
"It doesn't mean he won't eventually, you just have to keep pushing." I bit my lip, opting not to answer. I didn't know if I believed that. Looking once more at Bucky, I decided that I was just going to have to.
"We still have to talk." Steve reminded me.
"I know." He gave me a pointed look, telling me to give my reason for telling him not to tell Bucky we are married.
"I just don't want to make him feel guilty for not remembering me, especially such a big thing as that. I know what guilt does to a person. So I want him to come to all of the facts on his own."
"Won't he still feel guilty for not remembering you after he does?"
"Maybe, but I wouldn't have pushed him. That's a worse kind of guilt, when someone so desperately wants you to remember them, but it just isn't there. I won't do that to him." I declared, my emotions clear in my voice. Steve looked surprised, maybe he thought my answer was going to be a selfish one. He just didn't get it. I love Bucky with everything that I am, all I want is for him to be happy. Even if I'm not included in that.