Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 5Sophie whispered something to Nina. When combined with the children's looks of disgust at him, besides Emperor Severus giving him the thumbs down, Harry sort of felt like he was back in school himself as the last ever chosen for team, due to Dudley. He was sure they were not going to allow him to play.
It was Sophie that gave him an opening. She asked, "At the moment, liberating Boudica from the Romans is high on our priorities. Do you have some idea of how you could do that?"
"Uh, I'm not sure," Harry glanced at the headmistress for assistance.
"Don't involve Merlin," was the suggestion from her.
"I don't know," Harry said with a shrug.
The students gathered at the table smiled and a number of them pushed their lunch to the side and started writing.
Nina held out a hand, "Wait, Mr. Potter does not know the rules. If you want to play and you sit around saying you don't know what to do, you face a penalty of having other players suggest courses of action. Do you wish to retract your 'I don't know'?"
"I can play?"
"Yes, you can play, but don't you want to come up with your own idea to save Boudica? She's a prisoner in Rome."
"Won't Severus try to stop me?"
"No, Elizabeth is unable to do anything with Boudica till she's freed. She can't have her revenge in prison," Severus replied in a tone that conveyed what an idiot he thought Potter was. Harry recognized the intent immediately, even with Snape's voice sounding like a child's rather than a hammer wrapped in silk.
The headmistress whispered loudly, "The game is not about winning. Everyone wants Boudica out of prison, however she has to be rescued in a sensible manner."
"So I can't say Gryffindor just goes in and gets her out?"
"No," replied Morgaine, or whatever her real name was.
"Boring," added Boudica or Elizabeth.
Harry looked at Snape for a clue, but he had returned to writing quickly. Others were also writing with occasional pauses to look in his direction.
The headmistress reminded them, "Nothing too elaborate. You are on lunch, and Mr. Potter's time is valuable."
Severus turned his sheet of parchment over and continued writing. So Harry Potter pictured himself as Godric Gryffindor? Not bloody likely. Why was Potter such a git by following him to an orphanage and insisting on playing their game? He had not the barest imagination nor intelligence to play something like this. This wasn't quidditch. Severus doubted Harry Potter could handle playing house with a couple of little girls because he'd crave something bizarre like playing that their house caught on fire and claiming to save them and all the dolls.
Sheets of paper were passed down to Nina and Sophie.
Harry asked, "Don't I get to choose?"
"In a moment, we want to make sure nothing objectionable is in here."
Severus was the last to complete his and promptly handed it in, without even bothering to smirk or look in Harry's direction. He wondered if he would even know what Severus wrote if someone looked it over for bad things first.
While they read that one, two of the suggestions were passed down.
Godric Gryffindor really loves taking baths with other men and decided to join some Greek chappies claiming they were philosophers in Rome for a rousing bit of washing since the baths there are world-renowned. While he was in the middle of a splash fight, a meteor came hurtling out of the sky, disturbing the bathers and crashing into the wall of the jail next door, freeing Boudica. Gryffindor immediately rushes to the queen's aid when he hears the guards yelling. Upon seeing the red-bearded berserking warrior in action. Boudica retains a cool head and throws him the small bit of sheet from her prison cot to cover his red, hairy, miniscule bits. Boudica will think of a way to escape Rome since Gryffindor is an idiot.
Harry was perplexed. This was written on one side of a parchment, but he knew Severus wrote more than this. Who would say something like this about Gryffindor, other than a Slytherin?
Tired of Godric Gryffindor, the other Hogwarts founders drug and sell him as a slave in order to get rid of him. Since Gryffindor is only good at fighting, he ends up in Rome to fight in the Coliseum. As an entertainment for Emperor Severus and the masses, Gryffindor is locked in a cage with Boudica to fight. Boudica easily kicks Gryffindor's rear and while he is laying on the ground bleeding and huffing into the bloody sand, Boudica whispers in his ear to play dead and they may have a chance to escape.
Perhaps Elizabeth/Boudica wrote this one? Or did she write the first one with the meteor?
Harry was then handed the last suggestion that consisted of both sides of two pages that was written by Severus.
In the time of the Founders, the four of them were gathered to give a history lesson. When the subject of England's early queen, Boudica, came up, they disagreed over what made her important and what caused her downfall.
Helga Hufflepuff claimed, "Boudica was a passionate woman who loved her family and people so much, she would do anything for them. That is what made her great."
Salazar Slytherin shrugged his agreement but added the comment, "That is why she failed."
"I concur," Rowena Ravenclaw nodded. "If she took the time to study the tactics of the Romans, she could have devised a plan to defeat them."
Godric Gryffindor scoffed, "Who cares? She was a woman, and therefore could not even begin to comprehend the smallest thing about warfare."
"I disagree strongly," Salazar replied out of habit.
"What proof do you have to back your wild hypothesis?" Rowena demanded.
"What proof? She lost and was captured by the Romans," laughed Godric.
Helga Hufflepuff rolled her eyes and mocked, "You have occasionally lost, Godric. Does that make you a woman?"
"Ha! I'd like to see the woman capable of growing such a luxurious beard."
"Besides your mother?" Salazar queried.
Clenching his fists, Godric rose demanding, "What?"
"Sorry, I did not mean to slight your aunt and grandmother, or any female of your noble house. Their beards are also admirable."
"How dare you!" Godric responded, drawing his wand. "Your mother looks like a monkey."
Used to such behavior, Salazar was prepared to defend himself.
Hogwarts students ignored their shenanigans since Rowena Ravenclaw was the one who wrote the tests, and Helga Hufflepuff was the one who generously graded them.
One of the students raised her hand and when called upon, asked, "What happened to Boudica after she was captured by the Romans?"
"She was taken to Rome and put on display as a spectacle," Rowena replied.
"Did they kill her?" Helga asked.
"No one knows."
With a glance towards the door as Gryffindor and Slytherin took their dispute out of the room, Helga speculated, "Maybe another woman rescued her. What do you say?"
"There is no historical proof of such a thing, Mistress Hufflepuff."
"Of course not, that's because the Romans wrote the history we use. They wouldn't publicize her escape. I think I should rescue her."
Rowena sighed. Another one of Helga's crusades. She was worse than Gryffindor, except she had brains.
Helga Hufflepuff saves Boudica by traveling back in time to Rome and negotiating for her release with the Emperor. Time travel is made possible with Ravenclaw's aid and knowledge.
Hufflepuff? Was Snape suggesting he play Hufflepuff in order to be insulting?
"This one's quite thorough, but I can't play Hufflepuff."
"Hufflepuff?" repeated Elizabeth or Boudica. "I would prefer Hufflepuff save me than a muscle bound ninny."
"Gryffindor is a wizard," Harry argued.
"Yeah, and there's Roman, Greek and Egyptian wizards all working for the Empire. Gryffindor is not so powerful that he could simply walk up the street and blast open Boudica's prison."
"I don't have to. There's a suggestion here that a meteor strikes and knocks down the wall of your prison."
An impish looking boy, older than Severus, interrupted, "I retract my idea if you do not use it in its entirety."
Harry made a face as he glanced at it again. Gryffindor taking a bath with other guys and then fighting naked? Wouldn't the headmistress find that inappropriate?
Severus complained, "I wish you'd stop dropping meteors on Rome."
The lad replied with a shrug, "You seem to handle them well."
"Meteors, flood, volcano and earthquake. You should pick on another city for the next disaster, if you absolutely must have another one."
"All right, I'll play as Helga Hufflepuff," Harry conceded.
"Let's get going so we can finish this before lunch is over," Nina insisted.
Sophie was already writing something in a journal that detailed their joint story.
Everyone was looking at Harry now.
"Uh … well, I'm Helga Hufflepuff, and with the help of Rowena Ravenclaw … wait, I guess I should read what happened first so they know why she's here?"
The headmistress asked, "Do you already know what you're doing first, or do you need time to think, Mr. Potter?"
"Um … I guess I need to come up with a plan."
"I'll read it aloud for you."
"Thanks."
While the headmistress read the preliminaries about why Helga Hufflepuff was going to save Boudica, Harry tried to think of what he was supposed to do.
Seeing Potter trying to think and access his limited imagination reminded Severus of Crabbe and Goyle.
Geoffrey changed into his King Arthur outfit, complete with silly huge crown, and signaled for the knights present to join him. Severus pointed at himself, since he also needed to be the Roman emperor. He received an affirmative nod so took off his helm and donned his tabard and golden headband.
Harry was hoping the change of costumes would help him. Severus was one of the least ridiculous since he did not have a play sword or ax. The vest he put on just had a simple cross on the front.
The headmistress finished reading the discussion among the Founders, and once again, all eyes were on Harry.
"Ok, so I'm Helga Hufflepuff and I've come back in time to negotiate for Boudica to be freed."
Seeing that they were waiting expectantly for him to say more, Harry asked, "So what do I do?"
"You either tell us what you have Helga do, or we can help you get on your way to Rome."
"Help me?"
"Yeah," Geoffrey replied. "We can take a turn playing and mention you so you can think something up. If we say something you don't like about Helga, other than our opinion regarding her appearance, which is an established fact, then you can interrupt."
"Uh, all right."
He saw Severus was in the middle of rolling his eyes, when Geoffrey changed his posture, and inquired, "What news have you, my knights?"
The knights were not full of news so were individually asked by who Harry guessed was playing King Arthur what they were doing.
Severus responded to Sir Galahad in the roll call, "I remain chaste and continue my search for the Grail, my liege."
Harry could not help snickering. He had no knowledge of an adult Snape being anything but chaste, but it sounded odd for a young boy to say it.
It was amusing to Potter that he could be playing Sir Galahad, rather than the king's fool or village idiot?
"During your travels, Sir Galahad, did you happen to be in Scotland where there was rumor of a new witch?"
Annoyed that Potter was unable to do anything without Granger hissing at him, Severus chose to shorten their agony by responding, "Alas, your Highness, I did not see the woman for myself, but peasants in Woodcroft claim that there was a flash of light, brighter than the moon, that lit the night sky. It was brief, but blinded them temporarily. Once their sight was restored, they claim to have seen a ginger-haired, rotund woman of advanced child-bearing years wearing rich robes, deep yellow in color. Even stranger is they asserted she had a golden chariot that was drawn by two enormous black badgers. She spoke to them with a strange accent to inquire where she was, nodded her thanks, then commanded her steeds to head southeast. The unusual steeds briefly pawed at the dirt, before breaking into a run and ascending into the sky."
Harry's mouth dropped open. Snape was helping him? That flying chariot being pulled by badgers sounded kind of cool. Was it common to have flying vehicles like the Beauxbatons carriage?
The knights all assumed thoughtful poses, with a few stroking their chins, even though they did not have beards at this age.
"Could this woman be an ally of your sister's?"
Harry was confused since it was the girl who played Morgaine that asked.
King Arthur gave his head a shake before replying, "I hope not, my fair Guinevere. Morgaine alone is trouble enough even for the mighty Merlin."
Harry bit his tongue. She was too ugly to be Morgaine, but Guinevere too? The boy playing King Arthur must be blind if he called her 'fair'.
"Is that enough to get Helga to Rome?" asked Nina.
"Uh, yeah," Harry answered. "I uh … fly to Rome."
He saw Severus huff as he put his helm back on.
"So I get there?" Harry asked.
"Yes, you can get there," Nina answered.
"Okay."
They looked at him, then Elizabeth suggested, "The Emperor might be pleased if you describe the wonderful architecture of his capital."
"Right, uh, the Coliseum is really spectacular."
Severus lolled his head backwards and let his mouth drop open. Potter probably thought that doubled as a quidditch stadium so it was the only place of interest in Rome to him.
"I don't know what else is there," Harry admitted.
"Never mind," Severus quipped as he sat up. "The Pantheon is only a building, and the Arch of Septimius Severus is located in the Forum Romanum."
"Maybe I could be present for this?" Elizabeth asked.
"I guess," Severus grudgingly agreed. "Having too much wine to drink at a feast, Caesar requests the foulest of his barbaric prisoners, Boudica, be brought in to entertain him. He finds her singing to be pitiful and demands she dance for his pleasure."
"Severus," complained Elizabeth.
"You prefer to do coin tricks?"
"No, Boudica will refuse to demean herself, but some well placed and frequent stinging jinxes will keep Boudica jiggling."
"Very well," Severus agreed.
"Is she dressed?" Elizabeth asked.
"She is unless the guests at the feast desire to vomit."
They all looked at Harry again.
"My turn?" he asked.
"Yes, briefly explain how you enter the feast, and then start talking to us," Elizabeth answered.
"Using a tracer spell, Helga tracks down Boudica. Having found the building, and finding it guarded, since the emperor is there, she resorts to nonlethal force to enter and asks her badgers to guard the chariot and be ready to leave quickly, in case things go tits up. So Helga goes in and sees some sort of celebration in progress and realizes that her spell is pointing to a half-undressed woman dancing poorly on a tabletop," Harry hoped he sounded like he was getting the hang of this. He understood it, but did not have the practice the children did.
Elizabeth commented, "Boudica thinks the new arrival is yet another entertainment for the perpetually bored and spoiled Severus and ignores Helga."
Harry looked at her. She said she wanted to be here to help. Ignoring him was not helping.
The headmistress reminded them, "Please speed it up, lunch will end soon."
Severus's helm leaned more than his head in response so his eyes were not visible to Harry anymore, but it was in his direction. Harry listened as he suggested, "Perhaps we gloss over, how Helga Hufflepuff confunds a few guards, smiles and is pleasing in manner to the drunken revelers and somehow gets close enough to address Caesar? Agreement is she would not do anything to harm anyone to obtain that opportunity, and she is skilled enough to not do it openly in front of any sorcerers present?"
"Agreed," Elizabeth commented.
"Agreed," was repeated by King Arthur, Guinevere and others that Harry could not remember who they were playing.
Nina urged, "Go ahead, Helga. You now have the opportunity to either speak to Emperor Severus, or Boudica separately, and may even attempt to free her now that enough guards are no longer observant."
Harry was given a choice. Should he just tell her to run for it and follow him out the door? He asked, "Do I notice anything that might cause a problem if I wanted to run out with Boudica?"
Elizabeth reminded him, "Boudica does not know you. She is also getting hit with stinging hexes every time she tries to stop dancing … by the way, she's not dancing very well so maybe people are no longer watching her."
"So whoever's hexing her could trip her if she tries to get out of there?" Harry guessed.
He received a nod in return.
"I recognize Severus because he's … in the middle?"
"He's wearing purple trimmed in gold and a crown of gold laurel leaves," Severus replied. "No one else is dressed in purple. The tables are lower than these, and they kind of sprawl on divans while feasting in Rome. Decadent?"
"Yes," the headmistress agreed.
"All right, decadent and lazy then," Severus repeated.
"Uh, I try to get in front of him where I can be seen, and make a very respectful bow."
"I nod at you."
"I greet you with 'Almighty Caesar, I have traveled far to appeal to your good sense to let poor Boudica go free.'
"In what language?"
"English?"
"This character does not speak English, but Boudica should understand you somewhat, even though you live centuries apart."
Elizabeth agreed, "Yes, you speaking in English does get Boudica's attention. To Severus it would sound like animalistic grunts, since he speaks Latin and probably Greek? Anyway, I would tell Helga, 'Don't be an idiot, talking to him like that. He's Caesar. You better have an excellent gift if you even want to discuss freeing me'."
"Gift?" Harry repeated.
"A tribute," Severus suggested.
"Um, all right. I have a small, finely wrought gold cup with two handles. There's a badger engraved on each side and there's a few jewels on it. Rubies, emeralds, sapphires and diamonds."
Severus removed his helmet and doubtfully asked, "A gold cup with gems?"
"It's something that I know was Hufflepuff's," Harry answered.
"Maybe give it some elaborate powers, if it's too plain," he replied, before putting his helm back on.
"So in Latin, I say, 'Great Caesar, I have traveled far to present you with this cup. It fills itself with a neverending supply of fine wine'."
Severus laughed, "You could have said so before. All right, I would reply, 'who are you, stranger, who brings such a wondrous gift'?"
"I am a humble educator of magic in the far North to gifted children."
"Why have you traveled so far to present me with such tribute?"
"Although Queen Boudica's actions against your bountiful empire were horrendous, she is much loved by her people, including some of my students. Considering how all powerful you are, Caesar, could you not allow her to return home, rather than keeping her here as your plaything?"
"After the emperor consults quietly for a moment with a bearded man in a long, white toga, he addresses you, 'Unlike Boudica, you appear to be an honest, virtuous woman. It is a shame that she has misguided you into this act of loyalty'."
"My first loyalty is to Caesar," Harry replied. "I am not one of Queen Boudica's subjects."
"She has ordered the death of my loyal legions."
"They raped and killed my daughters," disputed Elizabeth.
Harry felt that sort of subject matter should not be part of a children's game, but continued, "Uh, Helga holds up her hands in a peaceful gesture, and implores, 'A terrible deed, I agree. Do you now consider your revenge complete against the soldiers that committed those crimes'?"
Elizabeth shrugged and said, "I guess that's what I'm going to have to agree to to get out of here, but I don't know if Boudica would really mean it. Severus has wizards that tell him if he's being lied to."
"It's up to you," replied Severus. "Say if you mean it or not."
"I don't want you to let me free for a stupid cup."
"He's only playing this once."
Harry knew what 'he' Severus meant. Him.
"I'm new at this. Sorry," Harry explained.
Severus barely acknowledged what Harry said with a slight shrug, and commented, "It's up to you, Elizabeth. If this does not free you, we'll come up with something else."
This was hardly the Severus Snape that Harry knew. Maybe this is why they were allowed to play this game, since they worked together.
"I guess," she replied mulishly, before continuing, "Boudica admits that Caesar was not personally involved with the attack against her family, and although he is all-powerful and possibly all-knowing, mortal men, such as his soldiers, are subject to their baser instincts."
Severus nodded, then stated, "Considering the crimes that were committed against Queen Boudica's family, Caesar has decided that she is now free, and will remain so as long as she does not raise arms or stir up dissent against her sovereign again. Next time, We will not be as lenient."