"I see the way, Shane's been looking at you and I'm not comfortable with it. I'd like it if you stayed away from him," He gave me this look, as if he had authority over me and I'd better do what he said. Anger rose in my chest, but I didn't let it change the expression on my face.
"I don't want you around the Dixon's either. Especially the older one. He's been eyeing every woman in camp, especially you. If he talks to you you need to make it real clear who you belong to," He'd barely finished speaking when I interjected.
"And who's that?" I was surprised at the anger in my own voice. Typically, I was so good at controlling my emotions.
Sam looked taken aback, but recovered quickly.
"You're my girl, Lydia. Maybe you weren't when this whole thing started, but you know you are now," I didn't know how to respond. I wanted to yell at him, to tell him how disgusted I was by him. There were too many things I wanted to say in that moment. All I could do was snort and walk away.
Sam caught up quickly and grabbed my wrist. I spun around to face him, fuming.
"Don't you walk away from me," His tone was low and dangerous. I'd never heard him speak like that before and it startled me. He grabbed my hip and I didn't dare move.
"Now, I don't care what you think. We don't have a lot of options anymore. You're mine or you're nobodies. You think you could survive out here without me," He chuckled darkly. "I don't think so. So, you just march your pretty ass back to camp and do as I say," He turned me roughly back towards the path to camp.
I couldn't believe what was happening. Tears welled in my eyes as we walked back up the hill. I chewed my tongue and fought to keep my composure. Sam had never been hostile before. I'd never thought him harmless, but he'd always seemed kind of pathetic, like he could easily be walked all over. He did everything Shane asked him to do with a smile on his face and never got in the way. Before, I knew he was a danger to my mentality, but now that he was a physical danger I was even less sure I could get out of the situation.
We met the Dixon's as we made our way back to camp.
"Good evening, gentlemen," Sam said in his usual sickeningly kind tone of voice. Daryl grunted and shoved past Sam, bumping his shoulder. My eyes rose in time to catch Merle's gaze. He winked at me, a smirk plastered on his face. Sam must have noticed because his grip on my hip tightened.
"Let's get you to bed, sweetheart," Sam said loud enough for Merle to hear as he practically dragged me the rest of the way to camp.
I did, in fact, go straight to the tent once we got back. I could hear Sam telling everyone I wasn't feeling well.
"You better hope she's not pregnant," It was Shane's voice.
Just the thought was enough to make me curl into a tight ball and wish I was dead. I squeezed my eyes so tightly I saw stars. I didn't believe in god, but in that moment I was praying someone or something would save me.
"Wouldn't that be something," Sam chuckled and his voice sounded dreamy. Everyone talked about children and what parenting would be like in this new world. I couldn't help but cry. Not only was it depressing that I was probably never going to have the opportunity to be a mother, but hearing Sam talk about it as if it were an option made me thoroughly ill.
The next morning I went down to the quarry with Andrea, Jacqui, Carol, and Lori. We were washing clothes and, as usual, I was well removed from their conversation. I was lost in thought, eyes raw from a night of crying and mind troubled by the memory of Sam trying to comfort me.
"Lydia," I looked up upon hearing my name. All four women were watching me curiously, but my eyes fell on Carol, who was smiling almost sadly. "What's the age difference between you and Sam. You seem quite a bit younger than him," My heart sank.
"Oh, yes, quite a bit," I was blindsided by the question and looked back to the shirt I was washing in order to collect myself. "I think it's about 25 years," Saying it out loud made me want to puke. I could feel my face redden.