Zidane would not deny the worry he felt when Squall was still limping a bit as they raced to the auditorium, but he knew better than to try and make him stop or slow down. Unlike the others, it seemed only Zidane really figured out how Squall thought and worked with him instead of against him. He knew opposites attracted—hell, that's how they ended up together in the war-world—but it was one thing to be opposite, yet another to be completely against.
But that was neither here or there, and in the end nowhere. Squall would never be his again, and Zidane needed to stop comparing himself to Rinoa and accept the facts. After this, when the Garden settled down, he should probably arrange to have a separate dorm…
They skidded to a stop outside of the auditorium, already hearing fighting. Zidane heard Seifer grunting—how the hell did he get there so fast? And was able to stand, to boot—but no magic; was Edea not battling? Squall threw the doors open, and although the combatants Seifer tied up didn't look, Edea gazed down from the elevated podium.
Over the gunshots, whip cracks, steely clangs and Zell's grunts, Edea taunted Squall, "So the time has come; you're the legendary SeeD destined to face me? I must say that I am impressed…"
Squall drew his gunblade just as Seifer, with a cry of disbelief, finally was done after Zell kicked him in the head with a vengeance. Edea glared at Seifer's body.
"… An impressive nuisance. Your lives end here, SeeD!" Edea growled.
"You're not our Matron…" Squall whispered, and then pointed his sword at Edea in challenge.
The sorceress spread her arms in the air. "All SeeDs must perish!" she declared.
Irvine and Rinoa darted up the auditorium side seats to their preferred vantage points on either side of the Sorceress as Quistis remained at the bottom, casting Haste on herself first, then rapidly to others. Zell and Selphie, once Hasted ran up the podium toward Edea, flying into attacks once they reached her. Edea held up her hand, two Protects instantly forming to block their incoming attacks. For a moment they were suspended in their actions, and Edea raised her other hand.
Zell went flying across the auditorium, clothes sizzling from the Thundaga spell; Selphie managed to twist her lithe body to narrow avoid the charge, but she couldn't catch the edge of the podium, falling to the bottom floor. Irvine set up his gun on top of the chair in front of him, taking aim as Rinoa already launched her pinwheel; unfortunately she miscalculated, the weapon whizzing just centimeters around Edea's face.
Once Quistis Hasted Squall and Zidane, Zidane seemed to fly through the air at her as Squall went up the side much like Zell and Selphie. Quistis ran to Zell, casting curative magic to get him back up on his feet as Irvine fired.
Edea dropped her hands and vanished before the bullet could hit her, and Selphie, who was following Squall, had to let herself drop down again to avoid being the new target. Zidane landed right where Edea stood, and Squall just cleared the step when she reappeared a few feet away from her previous position.
"Enough play," she hissed, building the natural magic within her body, hands held up to her chest as she glowed. "SeeD must die!"
Zidane whirled around as she raised her right hand into the air, and a black cloud formed just above his head. Selphie scrambled over the podium just to be slammed by the Maelstrom spell as well; both she and Zidane cried out in pain as the spell did its damage and blackened both of their bodies. Selphie fell to the ground, feeling her strength being sapped. Zidane managed to stay on his feet, but he was wobbling.
"Clear the waaaaaay!" Zell flew through the air, a kick aimed for Edea's face as Quistis followed.
With Squall's assistance, Quistis cleared the cursed state Selphie and Zidane suffered as Edea side-stepped Zell's kick, flinging him aside with an Aero spell. Rinoa's pinwheel embedded itself into Edea's shoulder, making her gasp in pain as it sawed into her flesh a bit before withdrawing back to its holder. The sorceress turned around angrily just in time to throw another Protect to avoid Squall's downward slash, but Irvine's bullet slammed into her lower back.
Edea threw her hands up into the air, the ground around her lighting up and shaking violently. A hazy illumination of a massive machine filled the room, and before Squall could interrupt her with a Draw, the summon was complete; the Guardian Force Alexander bombarded the SeeD with beams of light.
Quistis threw herself at Zidane and Selphie, a Shell spell barely holding against the assault. It shattered by the fourth hit, and the three scattered as a beam slammed into the ground between them. Zidane's back hit the podium stand and Quistis vaulted over the edge; Selphie managed to grab the blond's hand and the podium's edge, hanging for a few moments before dropping to the ground and seeking shelter with the half-concious Quistis. Irvine was too slow and was hit directly by a beam and he lay on the ground, unmoving; Zell used his Hasted state to run along the wall to avoid the attack, and Squall remained near the sorceress, where the beams did not go. Rinoa took refuge under a row of seats, crying out as a beam narrowly missed her.
Alexander faded and Edea healed herself between blocking Squall's attacks. Before she could summon again, the gunblade wielder hopped back a few steps and took the risky short cut of a Swift-Draw: he didn't look into her reserves, snatching the first spell he could grasp.
When he rocked on his feet, falling backward and narrowly missing twin beams thrown by Edea, Squall figured he got it right.
However, as a sorceress, Edea had no true need of junctions. As Squall was disoriented, she casted a Triple spell upon herself and in a quick succession slammed Squall with Blizzara spells. Squall had no time to avoid any of them, and he was an icy, shivering crumple on the floor when the spells were finished.
Zidane and Zell charged Edea from opposite sides, and although a double-casted Protect kept her safe, Zidane back flipped off the shield and got back close to her, whereas Zell pushed himself off and away. Zidane slammed the ends of his daggers together, spinning the weapons up to above his head; energy formed around him, starting from the ground.
"This is it!" he called as he built the energy up of the Solution 9 technique. Edea took a step back, but the vortex of energy drew her in, pieces of solid, invisible matter slamming into her body and raising her into the air. "Fly away!"
Zidane split his daggers, forcing the energy to erupt upwards at Edea. Her protective magic kept her from being outright killed, but she went flying off the podium and into the auditorium seats near Rinoa, who scrambled to get away.
Selphie had laid Quistis near Irvine on the opposite end, and jumped over to where Squall was. She closed her eyes and began to wave her nun-chucks around in a practiced, precise manner; muttering to herself, she held the weapons up as far apart as possible, and from her vantage of being in the middle, her Full-Cure gambit hit everyone.
Squall staggered to his feet after the spell reversed all damage just as Edea suddenly appeared on the podium again, black feathers flitting in the air.
"Die," she hissed, and once more threw her right hand up. An Ultima spell began to pulse above her, charging.
Zidane attempted another charge, but Edea had placed Protect and Reflect before casting. He clashed against the barriers and tried to shove through—he knew how Protect worked, and if he could override its threshold, he could get through. He kept pushing, then slammed his daggers into the barriers with another energy-based technique.
The spell shattered, but the force of Edea's natural magic shoved Zidane aside. He landed on his back a few feet away, but thanks to him, Squall had an opening. Charging through the broken barrier, Squall spun at Edea, gunblade scattering powder around them both.
His eyes met Edea's, and he swore that hate-filled look was familiar, but not on Matron's face.
Squall pulled the trigger of his weapon, igniting the powder. It all exploded around him and Edea; Squall flew back and hit the podium edge, bounced, then fell over to the ground floor hard on his stomach. Zidane cried out, scrambling to the edge as Edea's spell went off prematurely above her own head, adding more damage. Bleeding and burned, Edea screamed, folding her arms at her stomach and bending over.
"Zidane!" Rinoa's voice called, and he turned to see her running for him just as Edea exploded in a haze of pinkish mist. Everything went white in his eyes.
Zidane wasn't sure if he had really blacked out or not, knowing he only heard the crackle of energy. Opening his eyes, the entire room was enveloped in a hazy white sheen, almost too bright to see through. He saw Edea slumped over the podium speaker's stand; somehow her wounds healed, but she was unconscious… or dead, he didn't know.
What happened…? Zidane looked down, seeing everyone else scattered throughout the room, also knocked out. Squall's eyes were rapidly shaking under his eyelids, and worry filled Zidane.
Before the thief could rush down, movement caught his eye. Rinoa, walking as if half asleep, slowly approached Seifer's body at the bottom ground. He, too, seemed healed. Rinoa dropped to her knees next to him, staring down at him for a few moments before gently lifting him up and lowering her face near his. Zidane couldn't hear what was said, but something was whispered, and Seifer rose to his feet. Without another look he walked away, stepping over Squall and the others.
Zidane saw it then—a near invisible figure, standing on top of Rinoa. He knew that horned head, those black wings. He jumped down the podium and the ghost-figure stepped back in shock, and Zidane held his daggers at the ready.
"Ultimecia!" Zidane hissed. "What do you think you're doing?"
The witch of time laughed through Rinoa's mouth. She crossed her arms, looking highly amused. "Well, well, well… it seems you have done the impossible, crossing worlds… but it only furthers cements my theory."
Zidane's eyes widened. He should have known, but it still was shocking to know Ultimecia, who should have been purified at the end of the conflict, remembered. "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded again.
"To hold and to bind… that is all I desire." As Ultimecia's mouth moved so did Rinoa's, and Zidane understood what was going on.
"Let Rinoa go!" Zidane couldn't charge at her though, else he'd harm Rinoa.
"Oh, but I need her, monkey boy." Ultimecia taunted. "And what can you do? You're helpless… alone and hopeless. The lion doesn't remember you nor does he believe you. I'll have my way, and you've no way to stop me."
Zidane gritted his teeth, but a sudden calm entered his mind. It completely overtook his senses, and he dropped one of his daggers. It clattered to the ground and he placed the empty hand over his heart, over Squall's ring, bowing his head.
A moment later, Ultimecia took a step back. "What? This can't be…!"
She screamed as her illusionary sheen was dispelled, replaced by a much brighter light. That light went out when both Rinoa and Zidane collapsed on the floor on their faces with loud thumps.
It was like a spell breaking, the room clearing of all haze and sound. All of the SeeDs woke up at once, and being the closest, Quistis immediately ran to Rinoa's side. Squall bolted up, eyes wide as he frantically looked around. A soft voice arrested his attention, all of their attention, all eyes looking to the podium as Edea muttered each of their names.
The sorceress slowly raised her upper body off the speaker stand, her face no longer a twisted mask of contempt. Instead, a worried and tired mother gazed down upon them all. "You've all grown so much…" she whispered so softly, yet somehow, they could all hear her. "And become so strong… I have waited for this day to come, and also feared this day would come…"
She met each of their eyes, seeing the shock, apprehension, even hope in each pair. "Is today… a joyous day? Or an odious day?"
It was as if a sudden thought struck her, and Edea looked panicked. "Where is Ellone? Have I protected Ellone?"
Squall stared at her, disbelieving. I… I don't understand.
"Squall! Rinoa is..."
Quistis calling him turned his eyes downwards, and when he saw the sprawled out Rinoa and Zidane, he scrambled to them. He told himself since Quistis was at her side already, he was valid in going to Zidane first. He pulled off a glove, pressing two fingers to Zidane's neck and nearly snatched his hand back.
Zidane was so cold…
Squall anxiously tossed and turned on his bed, not caring at the soreness of his body from all the fighting and beating he endured. He could hear the repairmen hammering away outside, fixing the damage the Garden sustained, and even that didn't drown out his thoughts.
Is it really over…? Squall thought, staring at the ceiling for a moment before tossing himself to the side. What happened…?
Knowing he wasn't going to get any rest, Squall gave up and got out of bed. He exited the dorm, slowly making his way to the infirmary; students passing him saluted or greeted him, but he ignored them and went on as if they didn't exist. Worry gnawed at him, tore into him, and it made Squall quicken his pace.
Upon entering the infirmary and going to the first room's window, some of that worry was lifted when he saw Rinoa sitting up, awake and remaining still as Dr. Kadowaki checked her over. She looked so meek when dressed in a hospital gown and a bandage around her head, and Squall patiently waited outside for the doctor to come out. Seemingly satisfied with Rinoa's vitals, Kadowaki went outside the room.
"She's suffering a concussion and a bit of shock," Kadowaki said. "Otherwise, she's doing all right. Cracked her head pretty good on the ground, but she'll recover in a day or two. No magic though—crap's never good for head injuries."
With that the doctor went into the other room, firmly closing the door in a sure signal to Squall to remain out. The curtain was in the way of Squall looking inside, and he had no other choice but to walk into Rinoa's room.
The girl looked up, looking a bit dazed, but she smiled nonetheless. "Hey," Rinoa's voice cracked, and she cleared it.
Squall poured her a cup of water from the pitcher nearby, and Rinoa took it gratefully. She sipped a bit of water before attempting to speak again, "That was rough."
"You're telling me…" Squall muttered, pouring himself a cup. He paused in taking a drink, staring at the rippling water.
Rinoa noticed how his hands shook, and putting her cup aside, held Squall's hand in both of hers. "Dr. Kadowaki is tending to him," she muttered, knowing Squall's worry.
"I know…" he sighed, pulling his hand from hers to drink. He set his cup down. "It's… not just Zidane. Why did either of you collapse like that? Why is Edea suddenly not a homicidal maniac? How was she protecting Ellone…?"
Honored he would finally voice his concerns to her, Rinoa lightly touched his cheek to get him to look at her. "You're going to see her at the orphanage, aren't you?" she murmured. "Maybe… maybe she can explain."
"Or go nuts again," he replied darkly.
Rinoa was going to reply when Kadowaki walked in, a frown set on her face. She motioned to Squall, who immediately went for Zidane's room; Rinoa stood to follow, but she staggered as a sudden dizziness assaulted her. With Kadowaki's help, Rinoa laid back down with a soft groan.
Inside Zidane's room, Squall wrung his hands in desperate confusion. Unlike Rinoa, who seemed all right, Zidane remained unconscious. He was so still… his chest barely moved with his breathing. If Squall didn't look for it, he'd swear the thief was dead.
Kadowaki came up behind him, and Squall couldn't move from the door way. "His vitals are stable," she reported, and still Squall stared at Zidane's prone body. "No injuries, not even a concussion like Rinoa. Just… an unexplained coma."
"There… has to be something." Squall insisted, finally turning. "Kadowaki—"
The intercom chimed, cutting Squall off as Quistis' voice rang through, "Squall, can you hear me? We're all ready… let's go see Matron."
He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay here, watch over Zidane, help Rinoa as needed… but he needed answers, too. Kadowaki saw his expression and placed a hand on his arm.
"I got Rinoa resting and I'll run more tests on Zidane," she assured, then began to push him out. "Go on, you got your Commander duties to fulfill."
What good are they… Squall thought depressively as he passed Rinoa's room, almost panicking when she too, was asleep. … if I can't protect those important to me?
Squall said nothing as he and the others disembarked the repairing Garden, making the small trek to the nearby stone house. The others chattered, expressing nervousness and apprehension, but Squall ignored them and briskly walked to the ruins. The sooner they got there, the sooner they got answers… and the sooner he could go back to Zidane's side.
As they gathered in the front yard, the crumbling stone was, in their minds, replaced by the vibrant white marble it once was. They didn't see the ruins and destruction—they saw their old home, where it all started.
"…I feel uncomfortable seeing her," Quistis softly admitted as they all headed for the front door.
"S-same…" Zell replied, eyes darting around as they entered what was once the main living space.
It too was in a disintegrating state, the door leading to the beach now a failing half of a stone wall. As they approached the wall, Headmaster Cid emerged, and immediately they stopped and saluted.
Cid rubbed the back of his head. "… many thanks for your hard work." He sighed deeply. "Are you angry with me?" he chuckled, forced and sad. "I don't blame you… all I do is talk big. But in times of trouble, I run away…" Cid looked at them all, weary and old-looking. "I was in a no-win situation. Your defeat would be the end of you, and your victory would mean losing my wife…"
"Headmaster…" Selphie muttered.
"I couldn't bear to face either outcome…" the man dropped his gaze, unable to face them anymore. "I don't care about myself, but… Please, forgive Edea."
He turned and went out to the outside area, the SeeD following him. Edea was there, gazing out to the gray sky and darker ocean. She didn't look menacing anymore… she looked old, worn out and exhausted in every sense possible. When her eyes turned to them, each of them saw the guilt, shame and regret. A broken woman remained of their beloved Matron, they all knew it.
"My children…" she murmured. "Please, forgive me. I raised you as my own, yet still, I…"
"We feel the same way," Squall assured her. "We fought, knowing you were our Matron."
The others nodded, and Edea has a weary ghost of a smile. "You are SeeDs, and I know you cannot back out of a battle. All of you, you were magnificent." That fragile smile failed, replaced by a look of someone wishing for forgiveness. "However, it is not over yet."
Squall's shoulders tensed. "What do you mean?"
"… I have been possessed all this time." Edea admitted, ashamed by her weakness brought by her confession. "I was at the mercy of Sorceress Ultimecia."
Squall's eyes widened and he felt as if his entire body was tensing for a fight. Ultimecia… the one Zidane said was his obstacle in the war-world. A sorceress of his world…
"Ultimecia is a sorceress from the far future," Edea continued, taking Squall's apprehensive look as a normal reaction. "She is after Ellone's mysterious power; because I know Ellone very well, she possessed me to find her. All I could do was surrender my soul to Ultimecia… all that happened, it was her."
Quistis spoke up, "Well, she failed in that; Ellone's eluded her so far."
Edea nodded. "For that I am glad, but she may attempt to possess me again. If that is so… I depend upon you, young SeeDs." She paused, noting how Squall had a faraway look in his eyes.
She began to speak of Sorceress Adel, but Squall's mind was too much of a hurricane to properly listen. He should have made Zidane admit Ultimecia's existence sooner, made him spill everything about her. If she was the cause of all of this, and if Squall had known…
He turned to leave. What if she hexed Zidane or something? Or even Rinoa?
"Squall!" Zell protested. "I'm sure Matron has much more to say!"
I've heard enough! Squall's mind screamed. I get it, it's important, but Rinoa… no, more importantly than Rinoa…
He whirled around. "Matron, do you know what happened to Rinoa and Zidane?"
Edea tilted her head, nose slightly scrunched. "Rinoa… the girl in light blue? And the young blond boy?" when Squall nodded, she shook her head solemnly. "I am sorry, Squall. I know not what could have happened…"
"What's wrong with them?" Cid asked.
"Rinoa and Zidane collapsed after we did, but didn't awaken with us," Irvine explained. "Rinoa eventually woke up, but from what I hear, Zidane's still out."
"He won't move…" Squall muttered. "He was cold…"
"Did he die…?" Edea asked slowly.
Squall stepped back as if she backhanded him. "No!" he shook his head furiously when Edea profusely apologized. "It's all right…"
Cid rubbed the back of his neck before putting a hand in his pocket. "Squall, you are in a position of leadership; everyone at Garden has a right to know what happened and what's to come. Take the info from here back to Garden, but remember it wasn't just Rinoa and Zidane. Everyone fought."
"I know, but…"
Cid chided him, "But, but, but… This isn't something a leader should say."
A sudden rage filled Squall and he turned to the nearest wall, slamming his fist into it. Everyone wanted him to be leader—he had to lead everyone, shelter everyone, and provide for everyone! Yet Rinoa gets in a smidge of danger and he was to drop everything to save her? Now that he sought a solution for her, they…
No. Not for her. He knew Rinoa was okay and, as heartless as it sounded, Squall no longer worried for her. He worried for Zidane.
Edea resumed the conversation with the others as Squall stared at his fist in the wall, knowing and not caring that his knuckles were bleeding. The rugged stone sliced easily through his thin gloves, and as droplets of blood began to squeeze out from between his knuckles and the stone, his mind could not stop thinking. He wasn't even half-listening to the obviously important information Matron was giving them. All he could think of was Zidane, and as he did, he felt as if he were having an argument with himself.
The first time we met, you were just some lucky idiot Rinoa saved…
No. That's not right. The first time we met… I met the other Warriors.
We didn't exactly get along at first. I distrusted you, didn't know you. You were a freak with a tail.
No. In the war-world, we didn't speak much, but we did get along when we met up.
But as time went by I warmed up to you. You were a shining light.
You were my counter-balance. You taught me to trust the other Warriors, that I wasn't alone.
You'd look at me and smile. You'd know when to give me space and when to crowd.
In a world torn by conflict and doubt, you kept me on my feet. You were a comfort with your antics.
Having you around was normal. You gave me a sense of peace.
You gave me a sense of hope. Cosmos' gambit… you convinced me to believe.
Zidane… give me another chance. Give me the chance to remember!
"Yo, Squall!" Zell's brash voice interrupted Squall's monologue, stopped the images of Zidane smiling from flooding his mind.
"You're not even listening!" Selphie tattled.
Squall turned around, rubbing his aching knuckles and casting a quick cure. "So basically, all we have to do is prevent Ultimecia from getting Ellone. Fine; we're going back to Garden, everyone has to know."
Irvine frowned. "Hey, we're worried about Rinoa and Zidane too, y'know?"
"Then why don't you…?" Squall threw his hands up. "Forget it." With that, he marched right out of the orphanage, Matron and the rest be damned!
He had to remember. He had to remember what Zidane didn't want him to remember, for his own sanity's sake.
"That about covers the update," Squall said into the mic, his voice monotone. "Our task is to find Ellone, and then we deal with Ultimecia. Last we knew, Ellone was on the White SeeD ship, although where it is we're unsure. For now we gather information, but be prepared for battle." Squall paused, and then went on with, "And Sorceress Edea is back at her home—her husband, Headmaster Cid, will remain with her. Let's just leave her alone."
He cut the intercom off, and Nida nodded to him. Squall turned to look at Xu, feeling tired. "Take the bridge, Xu."
As he stepped for the lift, Quistis spoke up, "Rinoa was released from the infirmary. Said she wanted to talk to you in the cafeteria."
Squall frowned, but nodded as the lift sped down. He rode the elevator to the first floor, and although he knew he shouldn't keep her waiting, Squall went to the infirmary instead of the cafeteria. He felt so… like he was losing his mind. Constantly parts of him were warring with each other, as if a side of Squall was awakened after that battle and now it wanted to make itself known. Was it the memories of the war-world? Go figure they'd show up when Zidane was…
Kadowaki wasn't in, so Squall went right for Zidane's room. When the door shut behind him and Zidane didn't move, Squall felt a wrench in his gut. He moved to the side of the bed, dropping to his knees before it and placed a hand over Zidane's forehead. The blond didn't move, didn't react, and just… slept.
You're so cold, Squall's mind lamented. Are you… are you going to be like this forever?
Without thinking Squall reached for Zidane's hand, gently holding it in his own. He was cold, but there was a pulse, indicating he was still alive. Yet, why wouldn't he open his eyes? Why won't he wake up?
"Isn't there anything I can do?" Squall muttered. His hold tightened. "You hid the information from me… claiming to protect me… Hyne damn you, Zidane, it isn't your place to protect me!"
Squall dropped his hand as he rose to his feet. "You were so full of life, now you don't make a sound, don't make a move…! I said I'd protect you, I told you I'd…!"
His voice tampered off as Zidane didn't react at all. This is like talking to a wall… How ironic, those words came to him. Squall covered his face with his hands, helplessly unable to understand the emotional turmoil boiling in him. He wanted to see Zidane smile, hear him laugh, watch him monkey-around like he always did. To be so silent, so still, so solemn… that wasn't his Zidane, no, he…
Squall slowly reached for Zidane's neck, tugging on the chain until the ring broke free of its cover of Zidane's shirt. His fingertip brushed over the engraved face of Griever, a soft look in his eyes.
"Call my name," Squall whispered. "Call my name and let me re…mem…"
A sudden tiredness assaulted Squall and he fell to his knees, head falling onto the bed. He subconsciously knew what was going on… but why now?
And why this? As Squall watched, through Laguna's eyes and mind, the man blundered through a cheap movie set up, narrowly avoiding lasting damage from a ruby dragon. After escaping the beast, Laguna raced to the bottom of the cliff only to be cut off by the dragon, and Squall watched passively as Kiros and Ward came to the idiot's rescue. The trio made quick work of the dragon, escaping up the path only to see… something in the distance. Why this stupid crap? Did Ellone know Squall was upset and was trying to cheer him up? As if.
Suddenly, Ellone's voice filled Squall's mind as darkness descended. "I can't disconnect."
Squall wasn't sure if she could hear him, but he tried anyway. What is this connect thing?
He felt the sensation of surprise. "Squall?" he sent an affirmative thought, and Ellone went on, "'Connect' is just what I call it… my special power. I must be asleep if I can't control it… I'm sorry, Squall. Let me use your spirit for a little longer…"
I gotta go back.
His request fell on deaf ears (thoughts?) as another scene unfolded. The orphanage… yes, that was Edea's orphanage. Laguna had met Matron.
"She ain't here, either…" Laguna lamented to a younger Edea as they stood under the porch of the house, the rain pouring around them.
The cold didn't bother Edea, it seemed. "If I may ask, what happened to this Ellone?"
"She was kidnapped by Esthar soldiers." Laguna sighed. "I've been trying to get in Esthar, but…"
Edea's face pinched. "They were looking for Adel's successor, weren't they?"
"Yeah!" Laguna nodded. "Exactly it!"
"Is she your daughter?"
Laguna rubbed the back of his head, looking a little embarrassed. "No… but she's just so cute! Oh, I wish I could hear her voice!"
Squall could relate, for once, to Laguna. I want to hear Zidane's voice… His resolve grew with each word of his thoughts as the scene, the rain, faded. I don't care if it's in the past or what. I want to hear Zidane. I want to see him. Maybe I can save him.
Ellone's voice was a mix of pity and depressed. "You can't change the past; I just found that out… when I was kidnapped, Uncle Laguna went on a journey to find me. But because of me, he wasn't able to be by Raine's side when she died… she wanted to show him her new born baby… I wanted him to stay at Winhill, no matter what. But I can't make it back to that moment, and nothing seems to work. I can only send you inside someone I've met before and… oh, I'm about to disconnect."
Sis… Ellone, wait!
"I'll try again to speak to you this way."
Ellone!
Squall jerked awake, jumping to his feet. His eyes fell on Zidane, and it was as if Edea slapped him with a Thundaga spell. "I can see you if we go back in time!" he declared out loud to Zidane. "Maybe… maybe even change things!"
He looked up at the ceiling. "Ellone! Can you hear me? You're so free with that power, send me back to the moment Zidane went into a coma!"
Nothing happened, and Squall sighed heavily, dropping into the stool in the corner of the room. The entire time he was out, Zidane hadn't moved a centimeter…
Ellone was on the White SeeD ship. She had to be, and if he found the ship, he'd find Ellone. And with Ellone, he could save Zidane, protect him like he was supposed to. But where would the ship be? It's a massive world, and the ship was faster than the Garden…
White SeeD… Edea's SeeD…
Squall sprinted out of the infirmary room, ignoring the surprised Kadowaki as he ran out. Matron would know of the ship, she might have a clue! He made it half way to the elevator before he suddenly stopped, and Squall looked at the other direction with a pensive look on his face. Rinoa was waiting for him…
Well, she had collapsed with Zidane. Maybe she remembered something?
Torn, Squall stood still for several minutes before doing an about-face and briskly walking to the cafeteria. Rinoa might still be suffering her concussion, and may forget relevant information quickly. He had better get it now, and it wouldn't hurt to check on her anyway.
She was easy to spot in the cafeteria, back in her usual attire and a fresh bandage around her head. Kadowaki probably was going to keep Rinoa off the battle field for a while, which was fine for Squall, as he had no intention of risking her so quickly anyway. When she saw him, Rinoa smiled brightly and waved him over.
Squall maneuvered the cafeteria to her table, sitting down next to her. "Quistis said you wanted to see me."
She nodded. "How was your visit with Edea?"
If this is a social call, I don't have time for it. "We learned a lot; said it all over the announcement."
Rinoa sighed and took a sip of what looked to be hot tea, then started to dig around in her pockets. "Squall, I heard from the others how worried you are about Zidane…"
He wanted to snort, but he mentally vowed to kill everyone later. What made Squall nearly stand up in shock was when Rinoa pulled her hand out of her pocket, holding up a familiar orange crystal. He nearly snatched it from her, but withheld the urge and gaped at it. She set it on the table, and Squall couldn't believe her audacity to let it been seen like that. He did snatch it and hide it in his hands.
"I woke up with it," Rinoa explained. "And I can't really recall but… I think I remember Zidane telling me not to lose it. That I have to hold on to it."
Why you? Squall wanted to ask, but he still didn't understand the meaning of the thing. He knew Zidane made a big deal of it… and that he supposedly had one too. But why did it manifest now? Zidane never succeeded before…
Suddenly images blossomed in Squall's head, of scenery he never recalled seeing before but nonetheless were familiar. He and… that was Bartz! He and Bartz, running down a crystalline walkway, and sprinting toward them with crystal in hand was Zidane. Relief, vivid and arresting, washed through from the memory. Zidane held the crystal up triumphantly, smiling at Bartz, then at Squall… that smile morphed. Became more…
"Squall?" Rinoa's voice paused the memory.
Squall gripped the crystal, willing for more memories. Show me… But the crystal refused, only making a soft chime in protest. Giving up, Squall sighed and loosened his hold on it.
"Then you better take good care of it," he handed the crystal back, a bit reluctantly. "There's obviously good reason for it."
"It's strange," Rinoa said as she took the crystal, lightly caressing it with her fingertips. "When I hold it, I swear I hear a music box in the distance… and I feel calm, safe. It's like… this thing gives me hope, like I know it'll protect me."
Squall nodded slowly. That's what the crystals represented, if what Zidane said was true and his own broken memory served. But still, why did Rinoa have Zidane's crystal? Didn't he need that?
"I tried to see if putting it near him would wake him up…" Rinoa muttered, as if reading his mind. "But it just… lost its glow when I got close. I was afraid if it went dark, it'd… break. So I kept away."
Squall frowned at that. "It grew dark?"
"Yeah, like… like it was telling me not to go near him."
That sounded ridiculous, but he appreciated her caution. If the crystal broke… what would happen to Zidane? It was supposed to be as vital to him as his own heartbeat… Squall shoved a hand through his hair, growing frustrated at the lack of information.
"You're not going to like this," Squall started. "But I want to keep you off the battlefield for a while. Even if Kadowaki checks you out."
Rinoa huffed. "I'm fine."
"No risks. Who knows what happened to you and Zidane, and if this Ultimecia has affected you in some way, it's best if you're somewhere safe."
She sighed heavily, knowing this was one argument she wasn't gonna win. Instead she changed the subject, reaching out and grasping Squall's hand like a frightened child. He stared at her, then her hand, then her again.
Rinoa's voice was quiet, "Sometimes… when I'm just looking at nothing, I feel like… there's something new in me. Like a… a source of energy."
Squall frowned. "You were just part of a massive battle; your body isn't accustomed to that much adrenaline or use of Para-magic. It's your natural reserves simmering."
"I hope so, it feels so weird."
Squall pulled his hand from hers, rising. "I have to go see Edea again. Don't lose that crystal."
She picked up her cup of tea after tucking the item back into her pocket. "Trust me."
He wanted to, and to an extent he did. Nodding Squall turned on his heel and left the cafeteria, heading back to the bridge. Right now he needed to find Ellone, and make right what all went so horribly wrong.
Edea was right on the Gil when she said they were in an inlet somewhere relatively close by. Now that Nida wasn't afraid of the extra controls of the Garden, it didn't take nearly that long to search. Squall remembered the ship had a very unique structure, and once he saw its white fan, he nearly jumped off the Garden to swim to it.
Despite his earlier saying, Rinoa demanded to go aboard with him. He didn't want to waste time arguing with her, so Squall agreed without too long of an argument, although the others were ordered to remain on the Garden. He knew if they were aware of his reason for his near obsession with finding Ellone, they would try to confine him or… or something.
The White SeeD recognized their Garden, allowing Squall and Rinoa to board. Three of them met the pair on deck, and one nodded to Squall. The mercenary wasn't sure if they had met before—memories were starting to get mixed up.
"We meet again," the White SeeD said. Guess they had. "Please, state your business. Regardless of our friendly terms, depending upon what you say, we may ask you to leave immediately."
Squall fidgeted. He wanted nothing more than to run through the ship, screaming for Sis at the top of his lungs, but he instead said, "I want to see Ellone."
All three of the White SeeD looked shocked and looked at each other. Knowing what they were thinking, as Edea had warned him when she gave him her letter, Squall continued, "We pose no threat. Edea told us you would be here. She's free of Sorceress Ultimecia and is now our ally. She told us everything, and we want to protect Ellone."
The White SeeD leader stared Squall down, but the brunette would not be deterred. Despite meeting his gaze square on, the leader still bowed. "Thank you for coming, but we have no reason to believe you. Please leave."
The leader whirled around and Squall took a step forward. "Wait…!" Rinoa grabbed his arm before he could rush at the man, and when he disappeared, Squall practically went limp.
Rinoa patted his arm. "Give him a bit," she suggested. "Then try the letter."
Squall didn't have 'a bit' to wait. He slipped from her grasp and started after the leader, Rinoa following with a protest. Near the captain's cabin, however, a very familiar face was waiting for them.
"Squall! Rinoa!" Watts called. Thumps from the stairs leading to the lookout revealed Zone, and Rinoa let out a happy cry of their names.
The three jumped into a group hug, but Zone noticed the bandage around her head. Immediately he demanded what happened, and when Rinoa stuttered a bit, Zone turned to give Squall, who he put in charge of Rinoa's safety, a piece of his mind.
Or, he would, if Squall hadn't already vanished into the captain's cabin.
Squall usually wasn't the type to barge in and demand—no, he made SeeD by being tactful and having a strategy, even if he made it on the run. He always thought things through, but now, with Zidane's life possibly on the line, Squall was finding himself becoming more and more irrational. What was happening to him? He nearly threw the letter at the White SeeD leader.
"Here," Squall only barely had enough control over his voice to not snap.
The leader looked over the letter, immediately recognizing it. "… this is Matron's writing; she really gave this to you…"
Some of Squall's anxiety did leave him as the soft way the leader said 'Matron.' A kindred soul? "You call her Matron too, huh?"
The leader nodded. "Since we were little."
"I understand," Squall put a hand to his chest, wanting to get him to understand. "We were raised by Edea, too. She's back to her old self again, the kind Matron we remember, that raised us."
The man in white waited several seconds, reading over the letter, before he smiled and saluted. "Thank you, sir. We owe you and Balamb Garden much."
Squall returned the salute. "Same movement…"
"Ever since SeeD was established," the man moved to the window after carefully placing the letter on a nearby table. "Unfortunately, Squall, Ellone is no longer here. After we picked her up from your Garden and sailed east to get away from Edea and Galbadia, they found us. We managed to get away, but at the cost of our ship's integrity. We were stranded… and they caught up to us."
The leader turned from the window to face Squall, regret plain on his face. "Esthar ships intervened. They engaged the Galbadians, and one ship came to ours. They ordered us to evacuate, but we refused, not trusting them. They tried to convince us, but to no avail… when they departed, Ellone went after them. Jumped on their ship and they sailed off with her; once we're fully repaired, we plan to go to Esthar after her. My apologies, Squall."
Esthar. Squall frowned a bit. Silent Esthar, locked away from the rest of the world… "She's there?"
"We believe so." The man nodded, and then looked back out the window, seeing Rinoa still happily talking with her former resistance friends. "Let us hope Esthar is, in a way, our ally in keeping Ellone safe."
Squall grunted. Hope?
"The crystals are our hope," Zidane's voice came into his mind, making Squall close his eyes. "Thanks to them, we could remain long enough to win the war. We represented Cosmos'… no, the world's hope."
Squall thanked the man and left the cabin, drawing Rinoa's attention. Zone gunned for him, intent to give him that piece of mind, but the look on Squall's face made him stop. Rinoa bid her friends farewell, after promising to keep safe and in touch, before nodding to Squall.
"Let's go back to Garden," Rinoa said. "We better move on."
Squall appreciated her being on his side, and they returned to Garden. As they walked to the bridge, Rinoa was pensively staring at the ground, her hand to her chin as Squall informed her of their new destination.
"Esthar, huh?" Rinoa frowned a bit. "They're surrounded by one of the largest mountain ranges known; no way the Garden can fly there."
Squall frowned at her pessimism. Wasn't that his job? "They have ships, therefore, a dock… therefore, beach."
"It'd have been well documented by Galbadia if so," Rinoa countered. "And you don't need a beach to have a dock—don't they teach you how well-advanced Esthar is?"
Squall stopped and threw his hands into the air. "What else can I think, Rinoa? If you got the damn answer I'd like to hear it!"
She looked hurt by his outburst, but Squall wasn't going to apologize. He felt like Cosmos… at the end of his rope. But he couldn't make hope out of nothing like she could…
"You… really care about him, huh?" Rinoa said, slowly. "He means that much to you?"
He knew what she was implying, and Squall scowled. "You're jumping to conclusions. Zidane knows about my disappearance and what happened. About my messed up memories."
"It's one thing if he was just a link to the past, Squall. But you're acting like he's so much more than that."
Squall knew he was. No one gets this irrational over a friend, no matter how close. This sort of insanity spawned from something else, but then again, did it? Squall never had a friend like Zidane—friendship forged in the face of life or death. It was only recently his and the other SeeD's lives here were in danger; before it was just jobs. Was he being that out of line?
"I don't know, Rinoa." Squall quietly admitted, shocking her by his change in attitude. "I don't know anymore. I'm confused, I'm conflicted—memories are battling it out in my head and I can barely keep up. The only one who I can talk to about these recovered memories is Zidane… he can make sense of them. He was there, and… I don't know."
Rinoa bit the inside of her cheek, but she knew better than to aggravate Squall now. He wasn't that way, and she didn't know the full story of what happened during his disappearance. It had to be harrowing if he forgot, and now that he was remembering he was probably in utter turmoil. If only she could get through to him that she could help.
"Let's take it one step at a time," Rinoa said. "Let's secure Ellone first, then we'll deal with what comes our way. We're together now, Squall, we can handle it."
"We're together now!" Squall remembered that was the group's motto as he, with the other Warriors, voyaged through the land of discord. That it was in their friendship, their bonds forged among each other that got them through. But he also knew Rinoa didn't mean that in the same way… Squall couldn't even tell if his feelings of friendship were even of this world anymore. Was the camaraderie he felt for Rinoa, Zell, and everyone this strong, or was he remembering the powerful bonds he developed with the other Warriors?
Squall couldn't tell anymore. He was going insane, he knew it. He was losing it and he didn't know how to get it back… whatever the hell 'it' was.
He didn't say another word, just going to the bridge to announce their new destination. Upon telling Nida and the others, they all expressed the same things Rinoa did—how xenophobic Esthar was, how the terrain was unsuitable for Garden… how impossible it was to reach a forgotten and silent country. But Squall couldn't deal with that, couldn't give up.
Quistis seemed to notice this, and seemed to offhandedly say, "There's one railroad line leading from FH to Esthar. They used to have relations, but, all that's left is that railroad. It's worth a shot."
"Then get us to FH," Squall ordered. "We'll get there, land, and take a day to gather supplies. It'll be a long trek, so we need to be well prepared."
"Spoken like a true leader," Quistis said, a wide smile on her face.
The two days it took sailing to FH at full speed, plus the day of getting supplies when they did reach FH, Squall spent them in Zidane's infirmary room. Everyone seemed to be embarrassed by his actions, no one ever visiting the same time Squall did. That suited the mercenary fine… he didn't need people to come in and hear him talk to a corpse.
Squall reached out, grasping Zidane's hand and feeling that pulse. No, Zidane wasn't a corpse, not by definition. But compared to how he was, he certainly was close. He couldn't recall, here or the war-world, when Zidane was so still. Even in sleep Zidane moved around a lot—Squall remembered he'd often find Zidane sprawled on the floor of his dorm because he fell off the couch. Zidane never knew of it because Squall would pick him up and put him back.
"You and Bartz were full of energy," Squall murmured, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to the back of Zidane's hand. "Couldn't keep up half the time. You two always got in trouble…"
"We're going on a treasure hunt! Wanna join us?" Bartz grinned.
Squall frowned. "No."
"Aww, don't be that way, Squall!" Zidane came out of nowhere it seemed, landing next to Bartz and tilting his head to look up at Squall. "You should join us for one; it's a lot of fun!"
"I don't need treasure."
"No one needs it, but that doesn't make it any less precious." Zidane gave him a look.
Squall hadn't realized he pressed his lips to Zidane's hand til he opened his eyes, a tight sensation grabbing his gut. It twisted, and he dropped Zidane's hand with a broken sort of shock, as if only a part of him was upset about what he just did. That grip left his stomach and took a hold of his heart instead, squeezing it until he gasped for air.
"We shouldn't just leave Bartz," Squall admonished, but the scolding was lost by the mere fact he consented to carrying Zidane on his back.
"He said he wanted to go meet with the other group," Zidane said. "He really seems to like hanging around Cloud."
Squall snorted. "Does that mean you're off his list?"
"I've been off his list," Zidane gently rapped his knuckles on Squall's head. "Ever since we decided to pick up where we left off."
"Uh huh."
Were Rinoa's implications true? Did the memory mean the same conclusion she jumped to? Squall turned on his heel and went into the bathroom, running the water and splashing it against his face several times. He couldn't possibly have been that close to Zidane, he wasn't that type of person. Like any military force, Garden had that rule of…! No, he wasn't. Squall was damn sure, even if it was stupidly obvious and retarded, everyone was trying to push him and Rinoa together. And that he started to view Rinoa as more than some spoiled brat. So he had to be wrong.
But would he be this disturbed by Zidane's condition? Squall wasn't as heartless as people made him out to be; he'd grieve if Zidane died. If any of his friends died. But didn't only those who felt stronger for that person, felt as if they could never go on afterwards?
Squall slowly lifted his eyes to look at himself in the mirror. Water dripped down his face, giving his skin radiance, but it didn't hide the unrest he suffered. He knew if he went one more day without proper sleep, he'd start showing bags under his eyes and they'd get bloodshot. If he didn't eat better, he'd start to be emaciated and lose his fighting edge. If he didn't calm down, he was going to snap and be thrown out of Garden, out of leadership.
If Rinoa died right now, Squall would grieve. He might even cry. If any of his childhood friends died, he'd definitely cry. But he'd go on, move on with his life, honor their memories and achievements. But if Zidane died right now, Squall wasn't sure exactly how'd he be. He didn't have a clue if he'd be okay at all.
His mind kept spitting out images, voices, quotes and scenery from places and times he knew weren't of this world. Each and every damn memory had Zidane in it. Zidane, Zidane, Zidane…
Squall's forehead hit the mirror with a wet thud and he let out a heavy breath. No, he was jumping to conclusions. There was no way he was that 'way' after all these years, how he was raised in Garden. People would freak if he was; they wouldn't listen to him or accept him as their leader. They'd scorn him, call him sick and disgusting!
Maybe this is why Zidane didn't tell him… because he knew. Knew how things were in this world. Did Squall ever share that information with him? And if he did, and he wasn't that way, why the hell did he bother mentioning it? Maybe Zidane was like that, and asked, but Squall refused and…
Pick up where they left off. That wasn't a refusal. Zidane's smile, that look in his eyes…
Squall dried his face with a washcloth as he ambled back into the main room, throwing himself at the stool and staring at Zidane's still body, covering his nose and mouth with his hand and the washcloth. His eyes slowly wandered from the crown of golden blond hair down to the tip of Zidane's toes, then back up and winding along the limp tail.
Squall had half the mind to gag when the image of Zidane, unclothed, red faced and breathless entered his mind. Half the mind to gag, the other half wanting to almost smirk at the pride of remembering how beautiful he was.
He lowered the washcloth, looking at Zidane's face again. Zidane really did have a pretty face, male or not. Squall could admit he was attractive without feeling too strange. Could admit he was… fun to be around.
People are going to…
"I worry too much about what others think of me…" Squall murmured. "I didn't want them to think low of me… or even highly of me. I didn't want to be in the spotlight. I hated that side of me that worried over others' thoughts…"
"… so I always stood away from everyone. 'Squall is an unfriendly, introverted guy.' Made it easy for me when people perceived me that way." Squall shrugged a shoulder, as if his confession meant nothing. "It wasn't til after I got that spotlight I decided I shouldn't care about what others think. I mean, what the hell, it's not their business."
Zidane traced little intricate, nonsensical patterns along Squall's chest. "I always figured you didn't care what others thought in the first place."
Squall smirked at the tent ceiling. "I guess that means it still works."
"What, that bastardly charm of yours? Well, you got me, so I guess so." Zidane's tail flicked in the air in an amused way.
Squall looked down at him. "It wasn't that difficult, if you think about it."
"On your part maybe. I had to beg you for a chance!" Zidane pouted.
Squall covered his eyes and leaned his head back until it thunked against the wall. Too many memories, too many feelings were conflicting and it was giving him a headache as it felt as if he were being torn in half. He couldn't talk to anyone about this… and the only person who had a chance of understanding was in a coma for no explained reason and it was Squall's fault because he failed his oath to protect Zidane.
He just… could not go on like this.
"I can't handle this," Squall whispered, then sat up. He went to the bed and tucked one arm under Zidane's knees, the other behind his shoulders. He was small enough to carry in such a way easily.
Squall cushioned Zidane's head against his shoulder and walked out of the infirmary. He took a glance at the clock as he passed it, not realizing it was well past curfew hours. Everyone probably got their supplies and went to bed so they were well rested for the journey tomorrow. But Squall couldn't wait til then, boarding the elevator and exiting the Garden.
Sorry, everyone. But I can't deal with this, can't go on like this. Squall thought as he stepped onto the broken wharf of FH. He gazed out ahead, unable to even see the land on the other end of the long railroad.
He looked down at Zidane, who looked uncharacteristically frail. "It's a bit far," he muttered. "But, we'll make it. Let's go meet Ellone… she'll bring us together. Have hope, right?"
The blond didn't respond, and Squall took the first step. Then the second, then the third… until he was just walking straight ahead. He had no other choice, nowhere else to go.
Author's Notes: Crap. These chapters keep getting longer. DAMN YOU, DIALOGUE. DAMN YOU. XD I'll eventually totally break off FF8's timeline, but in the meantime, I'm rather proud I got quite a few of you readers wanting to replay these great games! =) So onto review replies! (These are fun, I should start doing it in all my stories, hee)
Ars Silentium – I wondered what happened to my milk carton! I has you thie—well, in all seriousness, thanks for the review! FF8 is a great game, even if I do poke fun at some parts of it with this fic, it's still very enjoyable! I recommend playing it for sure =) I'm sorry for the typos! Typically I get most of my writing done late at night, and although that isn't really an excuse, it doesn't help *sweatdrop* But thanks for following! I hope the story remains good for you =)
Kuroneko03 – oh yes, we're movin' on to disc 3! The Garden vs Garden was my favorite part of the game too, I always thought it was the most kickass Final Fantasy scene ever. Thanks for the review!
Lady Phantome – hello, hello~ I am happy to know you're enjoying the story! Yeah, Zidane's been taking an emotional beating since chapter one, the poor guy. As I said to Ars, I'm sorry for my typos. I know I still have some despite proof-reading, but I gotta let time pass before I'll really get 'em all (or I get a beta-reader, but I got a thing if they take too long, sadly). I'm glad you enjoyed the trance scene! I had fun with it—I'd make it longer, but if I remember correctly, trance in FF9 never lasted very long anyway and was dependent on emotion, so Zidane calming down meant end of trance. Hope you enjoyed ch.6 and the rest to come!
Reiken – Ugh, I know what you mean. Zell did scream about rope but for all the people standing in the hallway doing nothing, you'd think someone would help… or, I dunno, they got Quistis to use her whip! That'da made too much sense though, cause Squall's gotta do the main male role thing and save the main female (again) to build the whole romance thing. Zidane's got a good sense of priority for the most part, if I recall FF9 correctly. Sure, he went ga-ga for Dagger and all, but he still kept himself (mostly) on task at hand. Thanks for reading! =)
Kupo Lady – I loved Triple Triad! I wanted to play it online back in the days of FF11, but alas, I couldn't afford it (Cause it was a separate payment from FF11's monthly fee). I never understood FF9's card game either, only barely getting through the 'forced' part. But even if Zidane's card-game memories were with him, the two games are so different (and Triple Triad rules ALWAYS change) he'd get lost! Plus, Squall cheated XD Did this chapter appease your want for him to hug Zidane? Sure, there hasn't been a real hug, but bridal-style carrying is win! XD As for the Garden vs Garden scene, as I mentioned to another reviewer, it was pretty jacked up originally in game. Because, if you notice in this chapter, everyone suddenly wants Squall to be a leader again and forget about Rinoa! It's like, 'wuuuuut'? People were made of rubber, I swear, by how much they bounced! Ah-ah-ah, but you know, it's my job as an author to puzzle and enchant you (and other readers) and then amaze you in the end! =) I hope I can LOL But yeah, replay them good ol' oldies! I've been replaying FF8 as I write this, it's good fun.
xJuneii - Well, him just asking failed, and Zidane seemed to have a thing for Triple Triad, it was worth a shot XD And I've been having insomnia for a while, but I've always been a night person, sadly all my classes and crap are day/morning, baaah lmao Trance Zidane is fun, I'll have to put another one somewhere. To be honest, I don't know much of Vocaloid myself; I actually found the song because someone had it done with the two male japanese voice actors from my predominant fandom, Rockman/MegaMan X and Zero. XD I like the male version better to be honest, but that's just me. You weren't too far off the mark, nope! XD I am in love with the song though, just as I am with this pairing.
See ya'll in seven!