Squall wasn't sure if the sun was still rising or if it was now setting as he continued to walk, following the railroad straight ahead. Never had a path been so narrow and defined… Irvine was right about the limited possibilities of life. Given that perspective, Squall felt marginally better about his choice. The distance he walked felt pretty far, and farther still to the end, but Squall had no idea how far he come. He wouldn't look back to gauge either… if he looked back, he'd think of how upset the others would be. How they'd think when they realized he had stolen a sick person from the hospital and went on foot to some estranged country with barely any supplies and no help. Would they be mad? Maybe laughing at him? Or, if they thought like Rinoa, they were probably disgusted.
It didn't matter anymore. Squall could only care about Zidane, and getting to Esthar. Find Ellone, talk to her, and convince her to help. But even in his near-fevered state of desperation and confusion, Squall knew there was no guarantee everything would be resolved if he got to Ellone. But even so, he would try it. What else could he hope for?
I… sure have changed.
His legs were protesting by the time he noticed the lack of daylight. Squall had walked, nonstop, for nearly twenty-four hours but he didn't want to stop yet. For Zidane's sake, he had to keep going. But then his arms were starting to ache, and his step was weaving.
Finally, Squall gently laid Zidane down, propped up against the border of the railroad. He looked out into the sea, the reflection of the moon on the calm waters, yet he couldn't feel remotely at peace. Squall settled himself next to Zidane, but that felt… too isolating. He couldn't take the conflict in his head anymore, so Squall maneuvered his and Zidane's bodies til the blond sat between his legs, back to Squall's chest, and Squall could wrap both arms around him and tuck Zidane's head under his chin. Maybe he could warm Zidane this way. Propping his knees up, Squall encaged Zidane with his body, as if the boy could get up and sprint away and Squall wanted to prevent that.
If it were the war-world, Zidane would be more than happy with this arrangement. He'd crack a joke or something, for sure… or even stay silent, but he'd snuggle closer. His tail would wrap around one of Squall's limbs and he'd look up with those shining, alive eyes of his. But this was Squall's world, a world that didn't like the foreign body in it. Zidane was silent, still, cold and practically dead save for the fact he still breathed.
The silence ate at Squall and he couldn't sleep. So he talked—took his advice from Quistis and just spoke. He talked about what memories of the war-world he recovered, how blurry and inconsistent they were, how confusing they felt. He talked about his world; how he was sure Zidane would have liked it if he took him to Deling City. How, if Zidane was good for once, Squall would have taken him to a movie or something, showed him the technology he knew Zidane's world lacked. Maybe even indulge him with a gadget or two, an mp3-player or a cell phone or…
Squall talked about himself, surprisingly enough. The childhood he remembered he had in Garden, how he and Seifer fought. He even explained how he got his scar, and why Seifer sported one like it, since he knew Zidane would notice such trivial things. Squall just talked, holding Zidane close to his chest, resting his chin on top of Zidane's head and couldn't fricking stop talking because the silence hurt so damn much.
"I never told anyone," Squall whispered as he watched the sun of a new day rise. "But when I was a kid, and hell even now… it always bothered me how I don't remember my parents, or any family. At the orphanage… everyone had a memory or two about their folks. Selphie always said her mommy was the prettiest lady, prettier than Matron. Irvine's dad was the best hunter ever; Seifer's uncle owned the coolest store and let him play with all the gadgets before it got torn down. Quistis' grandma was comparable to Matron in kindness before she passed… even Sis told us a bit about her uncle, which was that freak Laguna she makes me dream about. Zell was like me for a while, but then he got adopted and you'd never be able to tell he wasn't a part of that family originally. But me? I don't recall any family member. Like I never had one…"
Squall's eyes turned downwards and he put one hand on Zidane's head, petting his hair. "You told me you were like that, having no birth family or birthplace. But then you got adopted, didn't you? I never got adopted… dunno how I ended up in Garden, though."
If Zidane were awake he'd be amazed at all Squall said. If he were awake he'd try to make Squall feel better, how he wasn't sure, but he'd try. Squall sighed deeply, closing his eyes.
If he knew just closing his eyes would put him to sleep, Squall would have shut up and done it long ago.
The screech of iron skidding against iron made Squall jerk awake and he held Zidane's prone body tighter. Coming up from the direction of FH was a… a train car of some kind? Squall squinted against the bright sunlight, and judging by its position, it was almost midday. He slept that long?
He saw Rinoa waving from the top of the car, saw Selphie and Quistis' heads poked out of windows and Zell hanging on by a side ladder. When it got closer, Squall saw Irvine in the driver's seat, and the cowboy wannabe blew the horn.
Squall carefully kept Zidane where he was and stood as the small train car finally stopped just a few feet away. Rinoa hopped off the top of it, running to him as Zell took slower strides. The others were coming out as Rinoa practically threw herself at Squall, and he had no choice but to catch her.
"You idiot," Rinoa cried as she hugged him tightly. "We were so worried when we couldn't find you…! And then Kadowaki called and said Zidane went missing…"
"Yo, man, that was so not cool," Zell said as he walked up. Squall looked up from Rinoa to him, everyone gathering behind him. "We thought Ultimecia got you or somethin'. Don't run off like that!"
Selphie put her hands on her hips and bent down a bit so she could stare up at Squall's face, a severe frown on her face. "Yeah! I thought we were a team!"
"You've disappointed me, Squall," Quistis scolded. "A leader leaving his team? How could you do that to us?"
"What made you run off, eh?" Irvine asked. "Man, Zidane's not part of the orphanage gang, but like Rinoa, he's still part of the team! We're all worried about him—you can't just kidnap him like that!"
Squall didn't know what to say. Did they not realize the depth of why Squall was so messed up? Weren't they sickened? Team or not, they all…
"What did you hope to accomplish alone, Squall?"
Squall's eyes snapped to the train, where Edea was making her way from. "Matron!"
Rinoa finally let him go so he could properly address her, and Edea placed a hand to her chest, the other motioning to him. "I believed I raised you better than this, Squall." She chided. "I raised you all better."
"I…" Squall glanced away. "It's just…"
"We know you're messed up over this," Quistis said. "The whole missing memory thing, Zidane being the link, how you're recovering some pretty jacked up stuff… but, maybe we can't understand, but we can be here for you. Why can't you trust us?"
"Yeah!" Selphie jumped in. "I thought we proved you can depend on us?"
Squall kept his eyes away. I don't wanna depend on anyone. He thought sullenly. I didn't get my crystal depending on people… I got it from…
He finally looked at them all. "What're you all doing out here? Especially you, Matron."
Edea interlaced her hands and looked to the ground. "Ultimecia is still at large—at any time she may possess me. But I believe she can only possess those who share the lineage of Hyne; women who carry the Sorceress Power. A doctor at Esthar is said to be an expert on the Sorceress Power; I think he can help me rid myself of it."
"She came on the White SeeD ship after we found out you were missing," Rinoa added, "Asked if we could escort her. We figured, barring Ultimecia getting you two, you did the stupid lone wolf act and left without us. So the FH mayor let us borrow an old train car."
"It'll run for a bit," Zell said. "But it's pretty busted up—we still got a good amount of miles to go, it'll last maybe four of 'em."
Quistis went behind Squall, squatting next to Zidane and putting her hand on his forehead. "The fantasy prince still sleeps, hm?" she looked over her shoulder. "Nothing's changed?"
Squall turned to shake his head, and Selphie joined Quistis. "You know," the girl in yellow said with a smile. "I never noticed how cute he is til he's still enough for me to look. You lucky guy, Squall."
That statement alone told Squall everything and he looked away. "Whatever! You got room in that car?"
"Oooohh, are you blushing?" Selphie gushed.
"We have plenty of room," Edea said before Selphie could tease him more, and she gave the girl a motherly scolding look. "There is even a bench still in good condition he can rest on. The others kept insisting I use it, but I am not as frail you all seem to think I am."
"We just wanna take care of you, Matron!" Irvine said.
Squall turned to Zidane, ushering Quistis aside so he could pick the blond up. Making sure he was secure in his arms, the mercenary turned to the others and met each of their gazes. None of those eyes held contempt or disgust… not even Rinoa, although she did look unsure herself. But she was out here… it meant she could be trusted.
"Then let's go to Esthar together," Squall finally said. Each face, even Rinoa's, broke into a smile. A sense of reassurance filled Squall, and even he gave them all a little smile of his own.
These were his friends. Why did he think they'd ditch him so readily? Hadn't he learned he wasn't gonna get rid of them in any sense no matter what he did? They were sort of like roaches—oh, he meant that in the most caring way of course—surviving anything thrown at them and sticking around. Squall wasn't sure how to express his gratitude to them.
They all boarded the car, although it was a tight fit. Rinoa took her place back at the top of the car, Zell hanging on the side. Selphie rode up front with Irvine, leaving Edea, Quistis, Squall and Zidane in the back. As Irvine got them moving again, Squall also wondered why the hell he didn't think of getting FH to let him borrow a locomotive.
Squall laid Zidane on the bench, but for good measure he sat at the end of it and pillowed the blond's head on his thigh. One arm draped across his shoulders should the train rock, Squall settled himself as comfortable as possible. Quistis stuck around for a while, but something apparently bothered her, because she eventually went out the back door to give Rinoa company at the top. Squall wanted to tell her that Rinoa could come in, but she was gone before he could say a word. Maybe he misread Quistis? Maybe even Rinoa?
"It's not you," Edea said when the door closed, and Squall looked at her. "Rinoa has already told all of us of Zidane's… artifact. How it darkens when she comes close. She is terribly frightened for its wellbeing, so she has already stated she will remain away from you and Zidane as much as she can. Quistis probably doesn't want her to feel isolated."
"Are you disgusted with me, Matron?" Squall asked suddenly, getting a shocked look from Edea. She was the closest thing he could call a parent—even if he only recently gained her back, he now remembered clearly always wanting her approval. 'Mommy Matron' was his name for her, after all.
"Why would I be, Squall?" Edea asked.
Squall looked down at Zidane's slumbering face, lifting his arm off to lightly brush aside his hair. "Because of how I'm acting. Because it's irrational. Because I'm a SeeD, a military personnel, and I may be…"
"In love with another man?" Edea supplied, making Squall's eyes snapped back to her. "Let me ask you a question, Squall. Are you disgusted with yourself?"
"I don't know," Squall muttered, looking back down at Zidane and could not resist petting his hair. "Zidane was just another pesky friend I picked up. Suddenly he's more than that? In so small of a timeframe?"
"I have heard there is a much deeper story involved. If you wish for my console, then please, tell me what fantastical saga surrounds you and this boy with a tail."
Squall couldn't help but give in rather quickly. Edea had swiftly risen back to 'Mommy Matron' status by her motherly presence and actions alone, and now more than ever, Squall felt as if he needed that comfort. He had no real mother, and Edea was the only thing close… he couldn't let the chance pass up. And so Squall told her everything he remembered, everything Zidane had said. That he had disappeared for however long it was, and the reason for the disappearance was that he was a chosen Warrior of the Goddess of Harmony, Cosmos. He was transported to a separate world, composed of pieces of several worlds, to fight in the eternal conflict between Cosmos and Chaos, the God of Discord.
He told her how, while there, there were ten of Cosmos' chosen. While they were there, they had lost all memories of their homes, and the only way to get them back was to fight and win. But it was such a long conflict, difficult and taxing not just on his strength, but his mind and faith. Squall didn't remember much, but he knew it was thanks to Zidane he could keep his faith and hope. That at some point he must have crossed the line with Zidane. But when they won the conflict and were sent home, his memories of the war-world were suppressed; yet Zidane had followed him, and Squall was remembering.
Edea remained silent for several minutes after the story, and Squall was fairly sure Selphie was probably eavesdropping so she could relate it to the others. If she did, it'd make it a lot easier on him—Squall was sure he could never retell it again. The entire time he spoke, he stroked Zidane's hair, and Edea was staring at his hand as he did it.
She finally raised her eyes to Squall, and all he saw was motherly concern and understanding. At that moment, he felt like she didn't have to say a word—just the fact she was willing to put up with his strangeness, still be Matron for him, was enough. He felt relief, for just a few blissful moments.
But Edea did speak, "Squall, there are times in our lives when we believe we've finally found who we truly are. People say those moments are natural and all-defining. But I believe, and I believe I raised you all with this thought in mind, that the 'you' one strives to be is an everlasting goal of life. It is what drives us to live, among other things."
She stood and went to him, and although he thought he'd be annoyed, Squall appreciated her hand coming to rest on his head like it used to when he was little. Edea went on, "You thought your final 'you' was a cold mercenary, but this is untrue. You live and experience life, and you change. There is nothing wrong with change, Squall, if you accept it as 'you'. The people who abandon you because you change are those too afraid of change and life themselves, and cared little for you in the first place. I cannot expect you to be the strict follower of the world's current mind.
"Am I disgusted with you? No, Squall. I am not, and none of these other children should be. If they are, than shame on them. I wish for you, all of you, to be happy. If this means another man does this for you, than I shall support your decision to have these feelings. But if you are disgusted with yourself, Squall, than this change is wrong and while I cannot force you to 'change back,' I urge you to re-think your choices. Am I making sense?" she lightly ruffled his hair.
Squall nodded. "Yes, Matron."
"You should not seek approval of those around you to the extent it runs your life," Edea continued. "Regardless of what your friends say, if you truly love him, then love him. If this makes you happy, then do it."
"Yes, Matron."
"I hope I have given you much to think of, as well as a bit of comfort." Although she hesitated a moment, Edea eventually did stoop down a bit so she could cradle Squall's head against her shoulder.
It felt so incredible to have a mother, Squall couldn't help but hug her back. He was afraid he'd break down into tears, but thankfully he was still too 'grown up' for that. He closed his eyes and let her comfort him with her hold and silence, listening to the train lazily ride the tracks to their destination. He did have a lot to think about and decide.
But at least two things were clear: Squall wasn't alone no matter what, and his feelings for Zidane finally had a proper name.
Whether or not he accepted that yet was still for debate. But like Rinoa said, he had to take it one step at a time.
Despite what Zell said, the train made it to the end of the railroad. The tracks ended at a lone, worn-out station, where the group reassembled to properly discuss their travel plans. Rinoa stood off to the side on the opposite side of Squall and Zidane, close enough to hear and be heard, but far enough so the crystal only dimmed a little. Squall felt horrible, knowing her feelings, but each time he wanted to apologize she'd brush it off and say it was okay. Was it really?
Selphie and Irvine went off to search the north and south directions, as Rinoa and Zell went for the west. Edea had expressed worry for only having two left with her, but Quistis was quick to reassure her. They couldn't send Squall and his burden to look in a direction, and Edea was far too afraid of repossession to be left with only one of the SeeD, so they waited at the station.
Edea busied herself with reacquainting herself with Alexander, closing her eyes and apparently having a conversation with him. Standing off a little ways away, Quistis stood with Squall as he sat on the dusty step, Zidane in his lap. Squall counted the minutes of silence as he stared at the dirt.
Quistis lasted an impressive thirty-five. "Maybe Dr. Odine can help Zidane, too. You said this was all a sorceress' work, right?"
Squall snorted. "Like I'm going to let some isolated doctor look over Zidane. Just because it isn't moving doesn't mean you can forget he has a tail."
"And?"
"The freak might try to make Zidane a lab specimen or something. No, I'm going to ask Sis."
Quistis pushed herself off the wall of the trashed station, looking down at Squall. "You've really changed," she murmured. "Is it really because of Zidane and this 'alternate world'?"
So she heard from above. "I don't know. As sad as it sounds, I have no idea." Squall sighed, and he couldn't resist lifting a hand and lightly brushing aside some of Zidane's hair from his cheek. "Was it Zidane and the memories? Or was I changing already, and Zidane happened to be the catalyst? Or maybe he has nothing to do with it…"
Quistis squatted down next to him with a sigh. "I've never seen you handle someone like you do him. Makes me wonder—what if it were Rinoa?"
"If she never woke up and Zidane did?" when she nodded, Squall shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe I'd go crazy over her too."
The sounds of footsteps put the conversation on hold, and both looked up to see Rinoa and Zell running towards them. Edea heard them as well, opening her eyes and rising to her feet. Rinoa stopped several feet from Squall and Zidane, and at the apologetic look Squall gave her, she still smiled. Squall had to wonder, if Zidane never came to the world, would he have fallen for her?
You're going to mindfuck yourself so bad if you keep this up.
"Nothing to the west," Zell reported. "Just sand, sand, and more sand."
"We climbed up the mountains a bit," Rinoa added. "Saw a large, dried up lake-looking area, with a lot of plateaus."
"The Great Salt Lake," Edea murmured. "It dried up when Esthar was advancing itself, supposedly their own doing."
More running footsteps, and Selphie and Irvine reported similar results. All that remained was east, toward the Great Salt Lake. Squall, with Zell's assistance, hiked Zidane up onto his back; sure the blond was secure in his hold, Squall faced his team with an unreadable look.
"We'll have to take the chance," he said. They all nodded. "Matron, would you feel safer in the leading or following group?"
Edea looked conflicted—after all, the following group would be a person bigger, but who knew how far apart the groups might get? But the leading group may fall before help arrived, should she fall victim… She bowed her head, unsure of what to decide. A grown woman couldn't even make her own choice, how far had she fallen…
"It's so quiet…" Selphie muttered. "The air's getting heavy. Guys, come on! We're all together again, we'll get Zidane back, and it's like a big group picnic! We're gonna have fun!"
Squall gave Selphie a look, then actually shrugged. "Someone once told me if you mention bad things, they'll come true. Maybe it's a silly superstition, but I wanna believe it. Let's not talk about it anymore—Matron, stay with the following group. They can provide more cover if something happens. Irvine and Zell, you're with me. Quistis, Selphie, and Rinoa, protect Matron."
"Jeez," Selphie muttered. "Look at the hotdog brigade."
Squall really gave her a look and she laughed, even though Irvine and Zell didn't seem to appreciate the humor. "Gosh guys!" Selphie admonished. "Why you gotta be a killjoy? We get it; you wanna be big boys and protect us poor lil girls. Well then, our dear knights in shining armor, get to it!"
The men rolled their eyes, but the groups fell into their formations and headed east. The lake was not that far from the railroad, and Squall had to wonder how the hell the scouts missed it. With Squall leading, the men took off first into the unknown, the women following once it was deemed all right.
Squall couldn't effectively fight while he carried Zidane, leaving him in the caster's role when enemies erupted from the salty ground. Because of the random battles that occurred, the two groups began to separate, until the women were small figures in the distance. Irvine wanted to wait, but Squall couldn't, they had to keep moving.
When it was becoming apparent the rest were really falling behind, both Irvine and Zell managed to convince Squall to take a rest. He consented, but the entire time he paced back and forth along the edge of a cliff they stood near. The salt was starting to crumble at the edge, and each time he stepped near, a chunk of it fell into the abyss.
"Think they ran into trouble?" Irvine asked, looking back where they came.
"They'll be here soon," Zell reasoned. At least he hoped they would be, else Squall would go bonkers again.
A few minutes ticked by, and Squall probably dumped enough salt over the edge fill a commercial truck. He displayed a rare burst of frustration, kicking at the ground near the edge. Salt glittered as it snowed down the abyss, and before Irvine could try and say something to settle him, a deep growl from below made them all go still and silent.
Squall darted away just as a massive monster jumped out of the crater, landing in a crouch where he was moments ago. It turned to face them, snarling, skin brown and dry like a dead tree. Horns, or maybe tusks, sprouted from its tiny head, its hands big enough to flatten them in one swipe.
But the nature of the monster made Squall relax. "An undead monster…" he scoffed. "Zell, phoenix down it!"
"You got it!" Zell started to dig through his pockets, pausing to back step when the monster brought its fist down. "Phoenix, phoenix, ph… what the hell, I don't have any!"
Irvine shot a bullet at the monster to draw its attention. "Selphie was our supply carrier, remember?"
"Who the hell appointed one person to be supply carrier?" Squall demanded.
"Hey, you weren't around to play leader!" Irvine shot back.
If he weren't holding onto Zidane, Squall would have facepalmed himself. "Please tell me one of you has a Life or two stocked."
"Negative, Commander," Zell reported as he dodged another fist, and ran up the arm. When he got to the head he hopped onto the tusk and round-house kicked the thing in the head, sending it onto its back on the ground.
"Clear!" Irvine called, and just as Zell jumped off the monster he let loose a volley of ammo into the thing.
Although Irvine was an impressive shot, most bullets hitting the target, it was still undead. It rose back up, then all the way to its full towering height. When it brought its hands up and began to cast something, Squall was pretty sure it wasn't going to be a regular attack spell.
He did a Swift-Draw and interrupted the cast, but he didn't like the spell he stole: Flare. That was not a good sign.
It was taxing and risky, but Squall began a succession of Swift-Draws as Zell and Irvine unleashed their best attacks and flame-based spells. Surprisingly enough the thing carried Curaga, and when it crouched down to better physically attack them, Squall was sure to fill his reserves with the spell. When he was sure he was full, he manipulated the cast to turn the spell onto the undead freak.
When the first Curaga went off on it, it howled in pain and collapsed back, narrowing missing landing on Irvine. Seeing what Squall was doing, both began to copy him, reverse casting the thing's own spells against it. Irvine couldn't resist casting a Flare or two, but anything helped.
Squall could feel himself tiring within minutes from Swift-Drawing, and the thing still stood. He fell to one knee, trying to stop his swimming vision; Para-magic had its drawbacks, unlike the natural sorcery of sorceresses. His own junctions were going to start rebelling against him if he kept casting.
Suddenly the entire undead convulsed, and Squall looked up wearily to see the last feathers of a Full-Life fade in the breeze. The thing fell to the ground, wildly tossing its limbs as the body began to stiffen… and when it moved too far, it ripped its own arm off, and then the entire body became an ashy husk. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Rinoa standing triumphant on a small plateau, the other women coming up the lower path in a rush.
Full-Life was a difficult spell to cast, Squall knew. Yet Rinoa didn't seem winded at all…
"You guys okay?" Selphie called as she rushed over. She had two potions in her hands, and used them to treat Irvine and Zell's minor scraps. "Seriously, you guys need to chill out."
Before anyone could retort, the undead creature suddenly rose back up. Selphie and Rinoa screamed, Zell and Irvine scrambling from the crumbling corpse. In its last attempt, the creature lunged its one arm at Squall, and he couldn't get back on his feet fast enough.
Edea seemed to just materialize in front of him, hand in the air. With a hiss, she lowered that hand to point at the thing just as a massive javelin of ice raced toward it, slamming dead on into the middle of its body. Without the support, the whole thing fell apart, disintegrating upon impact with the ground. Ash mixed with salt, and the entire area was still in apprehension.
Squall knew that attack well, knowing how it hurt like hell. "Nice shot," he muttered.
"I had practice," Edea answered, humor in her voice. She offered her hand to Squall, but he rose to his feet without assistance, shifting Zidane on his back. "Now, will you slow down for us?"
"Of course," he answered flatly. "Selphie's our supply carrier."
"Yeeeeah…" Selphie muttered. "Abouuuut that… we so meant to tell you."
"Whatever." Squall started back on the path, and Selphie gave a long, dramatic sigh as the rest followed.
Daylight was fading rapidly, and Squall did not fancy the idea of spending the night in a place with zombies. They needed to clear the lake soon, but as he looked in the distance on top of a cliff, he only saw more plateaus and salt. He was so sick of salt… Squall swore he was going to never put salt on his food again after all of this.
He was going to turn away from the cliff when movement caught his eye. Whirling around, Squall stared out, squinting at the distance. Surely he wasn't hallucinating? As if he needed that on top of every other damn…
Okay, he wasn't. The background was flickering. Or he was really insane, either or.
Squall lifted a hand and reached out. He touched something solid, and a hole suddenly appeared. He heard Zell exclaim loudly behind him, and then everyone else marveling as they approached. Beneath the hole was a flickering ladder leading up to it.
"Seems to be the only way," Squall muttered. He glanced at the ladder, then at Zell, who understood quickly what he wanted to do.
Zell took Zidane from Squall, letting the leader climb up first before, with Irvine's help, hefting the unconscious thief back to him. Squall actually waited just inside the tunnel for everyone to climb up, and once assembled, nodded once before taking off down the tunnel, Zell and Irvine close behind.
The tunnel became a building filled with intricate machines and designs, but Squall kept to the path forward. Below them it looked like glass panels lined up as if fresh from the assembly, and Selphie couldn't resist stopping and looking. The walkway was too narrow to go around her, and by the time the men noticed, they were through the threshold of a door.
"C'mon," Squall called. The door shut just as Selphie quickly started for them.
The door didn't open however, and Squall grunted. Zell punched it, alarm rising until a robotic voice stated, "Lift comfort capacity filled, please continue on so lift two may rise."
"An elevator?" Zell questioned, but the door wasn't going to open til they moved on. Squall was already in the middle of the glassy platform by the time Irvine and Zell joined him.
An invisible barrier encased them and the platform, and the elevator slowly began to ascend. Looking down, Irvine could see another lift just like theirs rise from beneath, stopping at the door. Before they rose over a curve, he saw the women board, and he sighed in relief. Turning, he noticed Squall laid Zidane down on the ground and now knelt over him like a worried mother hen. Recalling what he heard from Squall and Edea's conversation on the train, Irvine couldn't help but cringe.
As the lift went on its lazily course, Irvine coughed and put a hand on his hat when the other two looked at him. "Since we're here for a bit it seems…" the ex-Galbadian started. "Squall, might we have a word?"
"Say it," Squall muttered. Don't ask me what I'm doing. I don't know… I don't even know where I am, or if we'll get to Esthar. I'll just give you the typical 'I don't care anymore' answer.
Irvine wasn't sure how to approach this delicately, so he went for to the point. That was Squall's style anyway. "Look, Squall. Selphie told me about the convo between you and Matron, and pretty much we all know. How you could be… y'know."
Squall did not want this conversation right now. "Irvine…"
"I won't deny standing by you," Irvine went on. "But, could you not… you know… put all us guys together like this? It's… awkward now. Me and Zell would appreciate it."
Zell frowned. "Yo, man, don't mix me with your closed-minded crap."
Irvine, and Squall as well, looked shocked and gave Zell the looks he knew he was gonna get. With a smirk, the boxer put a hand on his hip and leaned most of his weight on one leg, the other tucked behind him. "Lemme guess, you're thinking I'm that way. That I'm about to bust out the most jacked up, random confession and then blubber to Squall that I know how it feels."
Zell rolled his eyes. "Well, first off, you're wrong. I ain't that way, but you know what? A lot of people are like you—if I don't agree with you then I'm just like them, right?"
"I didn't say…" Irvine stuttered.
"Didn't have to, man. I could see it." Zell placed his weight back evenly on both feet and crossed his arms. "Believe it or not, I'm behind Squall a hundred percent—hell, I'll support him on his way to hell while I go tumblin' after him. Squall is still Squall, Irvine. Why the hell would he suddenly be different just cause he likes a guy?"
When both of them remained silent, Zell plopped on the ground, cross-legged. "Lemme do something totally out of character and tell ya'll a story. Way back before I went to Garden, I had a friend in Balamb. Sweetest girl in town, every guy wanted her and every girl wanted to be her. Humble, pretty, maybe homely to an extent. Could say even I fell in love with her, but she and I were best buds.
"I always tried to get her attention, but she finally told me why she never said yes. She was 'that way,' and already had a girl. At first I was disbelievin' like you, but you know what? Even after she told me that I noticed, 'She's still the same girl. Hasn't changed.' And we stayed the best buds. Even met her girl, and she was awesome too.
"But you know how the majority of the world is. Yup, like you, Irvine. She thought another guy she hung out with was a cool as me and eventually told him… wrong move. He got so damn vindictive he told the whole town. Dunno if you remember the riot that broke out, Squall, but it was the town versus that girl, her girlfriend and a few supporters. Me… I didn't have the guts to say I supported her, even though I did." Zell sighed heavily, resting his palms on his knees and looking regretful. "She said she understood, but the town wouldn't let her stay. Hell, her parents hated her, kicked her to the street. The supporters for 'em also got some heavy hell for being open-minded. Got so bad she and her girl had to leave. I was gonna go to Garden but, I gave her all my Gil so she could get a train ticket and get out. Never saw her or heard from her again, but I hope she's happy and I still say she's perfectly fine just the way she is."
Zell stood up and gave Irvine an even look. "We get back to Garden, none of us ain't gonna backstab Squall and say anything. And if you do, you probably won't be believed before we kick your ass. Well, I can't speak honestly for everyone, but I know I will kick your ass." He looked to Squall then. "I'm chicken-shit deep down, I admit it. I can't say I'll openly scream at the world to leave you alone, but I'm still on your side, man. You're still Squall."
That little speech and story embarrassed Squall to hell. At this point, it seemed rather cold to tell them he still wasn't sure of his… preference. Irvine was in obvious shame, using his hat to hide his face, and Zell seemed ready to take the punishment of Hyne for his open-mindedness.
Squall did the only thing he could think to do. "Thank you, Zell."
"Just don't disappear without a trace on me like she did," Zell said. And then he smiled in such a way that Squall couldn't help but give him at least half a smile.
Irvine sighed, pushing his hat back up a bit just as the elevator paused. "You're still Squall and the leader, but this is still gonna take getting some used to. So…"
"You can go with the girls when we get off this thing," Squall said. "I'm not here to force you to change your views or who you are… like Matron said, that's something for you to do."
Before anything else could be said, the corridor they had been riding in suddenly vanished. All three turned to look out, gaping as a massive city seemed to just suddenly appear before their eyes. Below them they could hear the women express the same shock and awe; the moment broke when the elevator suddenly dropped down a sloping pair of railings that also seemed to appear from nowhere. Their lift began to race through a ropeway through the city, revealing incredible and wondrous technology as they sailed through. No wind came through, only adding to the wonder. What an insane city…
The lift reached the end of its rails, ending at a platform that led to a massive tunnel. Picking up Zidane carefully, Squall and the other disembarked and their lift dropped down, letting the one behind them take its place. All four women were chattering as they also stepped off, even Edea looking young again as she stared out in Esthar in wonder.
"This is amazing!" Rinoa cried, going to the edge and looking. "Wow, look at that…"
"Did you see how those panels worked?" Quistis asked. "Camouflage! The city's been here this entire time and no one knew it!"
"So coooool…" Selphie whispered. She suddenly latched onto Irvine's arm, making him jump. "Irvy, you have to take me sight-seeing!"
Irvine chuckled, back to his usual self. "I think we'll both be sight-seeing, Selphie."
Their banter was cut short as the roar of an engine brought everyone's eyes to the tunnel. Zell quickly took a protective stand near Edea as a car drove up to them, stopping at the end of the tunnel. The door opened to reveal a tall man in an intricately decorated robe and hat; he stepped out and approached the group without a hint of worry in his step, regardless of the fact they were all obviously fully armed.
The man focused on Edea. "Sorceress Edea… Please explain what this is regarding."
"Yes…" Edea stepped forward, placing a calming hand on Zell's shoulder. "We came here to see Dr. Odine."
Squall felt his adrenaline suddenly hike up. So this truly was Esthar… where Ellone was! "I want to see Ellone," he stepped forward, getting the man's attention. "Where is she?"
"… Ellone?"
Edea quickly intervened. "Squall, calm down. Trust me and allow me to handle this."
The Estharian man looked between Edea and Squall several times before he bowed. "Please come with us."
The car on the outside looked too small to fit them all, yet appearances were deceiving—all nine of them fit comfortably in the back, although Squall refused to let go of Zidane and kept him in his lap. Rinoa tried to keep as far away as possible, but didn't dare check the crystal in front of the Estharian, not knowing what could possibly happen. The car started down the tunnel, emerging from it ten minutes later and shooting down a transparent road. The windows were crowded as all but Squall and the Estharian oogled at the city, staring at the winding roads and glass-like tunnels. People walked the streets in extravagant clothing, other cars like theirs speeding by as small groups sat on little cushioned lifts that raced through the small glass tubes that ran parallel with the roads.
It was almost headache inducing, how big and winding the city was. "Geez," Irvine muttered. "How far does this go…?"
"We'll be arriving at the Presidential Palace shortly," the Estharian reported.
Palace was an understatement—in a massive city, this building rose stories above it all. As they got closer, it appeared even bigger, Zell whistling. The president was a real big shot, it seemed.
Squall didn't care, and while everyone marveled at the building they approached he slowly rocked in his seat, cradling Zidane and wished he was awake to see it all. He wanted to see it with Zidane, so if he didn't look, it'd be new when the thief woke up.
At the very least, it seemed Zidane was finally warm.
Edea explained her request once the party was all within the lobby of the Palace, Squall letting Zidane rest on a lush, cushioned bench. He knelt next to him, unable to think of leaving him alone for even a moment; he had seen the look at the Estharian escort's face when he exited the car with Zidane and the youth's tail slipped into view.
"I wish to be free of Sorceress Ultimecia's control," Edea concluded.
A voice from a nearby door came out, "Zat will be easy," and the most ridiculous person Squall ever saw came hobbling out. The mercenary leader couldn't help but give the stooped over man a critical look, especially that… collar thing. And he thought Kefka was a freak…
"We just exorcise the sorceress. There iz nothing Odine cannot do." The little man cackled. Squall cringed and wanted to protest, that no such a man should come near Matron.
But Edea was used to creepy it seemed. "I leave everything in your hands," she said to the doctor.
A different Estharian man approached Squall, making him rise to his feet to be properly addressed. After giving Squall a look over, the man said, "I'm a Presidential Aide. So you want to see Ellone?"
And the thoughts of how fucked up Odine was—and his possibly relation to Kefka—evaporated from Squall's mind. "Where is she?" Squall demanded. "I have to bring Zidane to her; we need to see Ellone now!"
He whirled to face Odine, who was grinning in his direction. Squall did not like that grin. "Take me to Ellone, now," Squall growled.
Odine hopped a bit, still with that grin. "So, you will take Odine hostage? You are a fool." And he laughed.
Squall wanted to run his gunblade through the weirdo and pull his own hair out at the same time. "I don't care! Just take me to Ellone, Hyne damn you!"
Odine waggled his eyebrows—Hyne, could the man get any creepier? "Do as he says," the doctor said to the Aide. "I give ze permission. But under one condition." He looked to Squall, a wide grin on his face. "You must let me… observe this boy."
Odine took a step to Zidane and the steely cold tip of a gunblade was suddenly right under his nose. Everyone exclaimed, and guards stationed nearby were ready to rush in when Odine held his hand up to stop them. He gave Squall a very critical look, noting the almost-crazed look in the mercenary's eyes, the plain distrust. Why, that was the same look he got when Ellone was just a girl, from that oaf of a man.
"Odine iz not afraid you," the doctor said nonchalantly. "But I know you need me. Would you risk this boy's life so easily?"
Squall tensed, and Edea made her way carefully to him. When close enough, she placed her hand over his, slowly lowering the gunblade from Odine's face. "Accept their offer, Squall." She murmured. "You have come too far to lose now."
Squall breathed in several deep breaths before fully retracting his weapon. "You better not do anything to Zidane," he hissed. "You can observe."
"Odine haz learned his lesson about live subjects," Odine said cheekily. "President won't let me do anything, relax."
"And I shall be here," Edea promised.
Squall frowned, but holstered the gunblade back to his hip and turned away, not wanting to see how Odine ooh'd and ahh'd over Zidane. It made his skin crawl to let Zidane be… handled in such a way. But Edea was right; he couldn't back down now when so close to the goal.
The Presidential Aide came up to them. "The car is yours for rental around the city," he said. "You should have a look at the city—we have advanced much since the sorceress' reign. When you're ready, head eastward to the Lunar Gate and meet us there, we should be ready in about five hours."
"Five hours?" Squall demanded. And let Odine have his mitts on Zidane for that long?
"We'll take the boy there, there's nothing to worry about. When you've completed your tour, just head for the Lunar Gate; oh, but sir… we'll only have room for you and two others, so please keep that in mind," and the man at the audacity to smile.
As the group, minus Edea, headed for the entrance Rinoa went right to Squall and looped her arm around his. He didn't make a move to remove her, just stared straight ahead and tried not to think of what could happen within the five hours of separation he was going to suffer. Rinoa leaned her head on his arm, getting his attention now as they walked down the steps toward the lift.
"We just have to trust them," she whispered. "Edea will make sure nothing happens."
If something does, Squall thought with a frown. I'll kill Odine. But in the meantime, "No offense… but do you have to cling?"
Rinoa lifted her head and, as if making a statement, forced him to hold her hand. "You were making a scene over Zidane," she muttered. "Esthar is xenophobic and only Hyne knows what else. Let's not give them a reason to not take you to Ellone, eh?"
Squall could tell she was enjoying this more than she was going to admit, but he also had to concede to the fact she was right. So with a resigned huff, he grasped her hand willingly and sat next to her in the lift. Everyone acted as if it were completely normal, although Irvine was making odd faces once in a while.
The group took the Aide's advice and, once out of the Palace's sector, ditched the rental car to walk around. Rinoa thankfully let Squall slip away from her so they walked normally, but she still stuck to his side as they toured the time away. They walked the streets, chatted with locals—all whom seemed pleasant to welcome them—and rode the small party lifts all over the city. Squall could admit it was a little fun, especially once they reached the downtown area with all the shops and amenities, but a little part of him spoiled it by constantly thinking of Zidane in the hands on a freak.
Rinoa dragged Squall over to what seemed to be a jewelry shop, although really it was just a booth with a computer screen. She tapped the screen, giggling as a robotic voice asked for her selection. She browsed the catalogue merrily as Squall leaned against the rim of the booth, staring at the crowd of locals and seeing how he and his group really glared out. Selphie was dragging Irvine everywhere, and Quistis went after Zell each time he ran off. It was like some huge group date.
"Ohhh," Rinoa murmured in amazement as the computer materialized a necklace for her to try on. She took it off the little stand that rose from the desk attached to the computer kiosk and placed the glittering chain on.
Whirling around and holding it up so the feather-shaped pendant shone in the light, she faced Squall with a smile. "Hey, hey, how's this look?" she asked excitedly.
Squall glanced over. "Like a hundred thousand Gil overpriced," he muttered.
"It is, but how do I look with it?" Rinoa pouted.
He sighed. He was neither comfortable nor familiar with this shopping act thing with a girl. "Rinoa, a piece of jewelry isn't going to change your appearance that much."
"Squall!"
"Fine." He pushed off the booth rim and looked at her head on. "It's pretty. You look pretty with it. If you want it, buy it."
She huffed at him, taking the necklace off and returning it to the stand. It disappeared and she glared at him. "You're no fun."
Squall ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not… not your little gay friend you drag out that can give you fashion advice or something." He actually said the word without shuddering; maybe he wasn't as opposed to it all as he thought.
"I didn't say you were," Rinoa gaped at him. "Oh, no-no-no, Squall! I didn't mean… no, I'm so sorry!" she actually looked apologetic and put off. "I just… wanted to take your mind off Zidane."
Squall rubbed his forehead around his scar. "I appreciate the notion, Rinoa. But this is still messing with my head. I don't know how to think of myself or this situation."
"A bunch of friends hanging out," Selphie's voice cut in, making the pair look out of the booth. She already had a bag full of Hyne knew what. "Just relax, Squall. You're gonna be gray and wrinkly by the time Zidane wakes up."
"Just enjoy the place," Irvine said, actually smiling at Squall. He couldn't tell if it was forced, though. "Learn where stuff is, so when Zidane wakes up and you bring him here you won't be blundering around lost."
Squall wasn't sure how to handle this situation, so he turned back to Rinoa as if the two hadn't approached them at all. "Going to buy it?"
"You kidding?" Rinoa rolled her eyes. "Like you said, it was a hundred thousand Gil overpriced."
Zell and Quistis rejoined them at the entrance of the shopping area, and Squall really did try to relax and enjoy the sight-seeing. He never had an 'outing' with friends… hell, didn't really have friends to go out with since they all met. Given the crap with Ultimecia, who knew when he'd be able to? He didn't want to forget about Zidane, but Squall needed to relax and de-stress.
By the time they left the shopping area of downtown, they still had three hours to burn. The group meandered around the area, eventually finding a movie theater and watching one. Squall couldn't say he was completely comfortable, but when the movie let out and everyone chattered about how much of a waste of Gil it was, he felt this sense of normalcy that he truly liked. Maybe when this was all over, he could really go 'hang out' and… cut loose. Well, as loose as a Commander of a military function could be.
As they made their way to the exit of the city, Squall couldn't help but think of how incredible it was. He was resolved to bring Zidane here once he was able; the thief would have fun.
They passed by the Presidential Aide at the car rental area, and Rinoa snagged Squall's hand when he looked at them. Squall could feel the man's eyes scan them over, especially their linked hands, and he knew by the way the Estharian glanced at him that he was being judged. Squall scowled inwardly.
Rinoa noticed and leaned closer to him. "Hey," she muttered under her breath, forcing a smile and making it seem as if they were muttering loving words to each other. "I know I said I'd keep away from you and Zidane but…"
"Yeah, I know," Squall said under his breath, also forcing a smile for the charade's sake. "You're coming with, I already decided that. Probably take Quistis too."
"You're not letting Selphie's 'hotdog brigand' comment get to you, are you?" Rinoa dropped her smile to look at him in a concerned way.
"No." Squall shrugged and their rental car finally came up to them. As the rest climbed in, Squall placed his hand on Rinoa's back to indicate she climb in next.
Once all were in and following the Aide's car, Squall muttered to Rinoa, "I know Zell's gonna want to be with Matron, and Selphie's too hyper to leave alone. Irvine will keep Zell in line and make sure Selphie doesn't get off track."
"Still the leader," Rinoa said.
"I haven't changed."
The girl in blue smiled and patted his knee. "You have, though. But I think it's a good one." She said out loud, making everyone look at them with questioning looks.
Squall looked out the window and Rinoa hummed to herself. Now that the fun of hanging out had worn off, Squall found himself anxious to get back to Zidane. He hoped, after all this trouble, Ellone really could help them. His head thunked against the glass of the window as he stared into the boring, normal scenery rushing by. After being in Esthar, the rest of the world seemed… drab.
"I wish you'd quit going off on your own," Zidane muttered as they settled in for the night. "I worry about you."
"What, don't have faith in me?" Squall unrolled their cots.
"It's not that. I just get worried. What if you get hurt or captured or…" Zidane sighed, walking to Squall and wrapping his arms around Squall's waist, pressing his forehead to Squall's back. "I just worry, okay?"
"Well, I'm here now, so quit it." Squall turned so he could return the hug. "We're together now."
Zidane looked at him and smiled. "Yeah. Together. Can we stay that way?"
"I don't see why not."
Squall opened his eyes, not even aware he had dozed off. A dream or a memory? Or even a hopeful wish? He wanted to be together with Zidane. Lifting his head, he saw everyone else has similarly dozed off; Rinoa's head was resting on his shoulder and she looked completely passed out. Looking out the window, they looked far from Esthar… hell, any place really.
For whatever reason, Squall didn't find this alarming. He put his head back against the window and willed himself to sleep. He rather liked the dream… it was preferably to what was going on currently.
Author's Note: How the hell did the others, plus Edea, ever get ahead of Squall during his 'lone wolf hike' thing during this part of the game? Seriously. Edea first had to come from her house, and then everyone had to get to the end of the railroad before Squall who had pretty much a whole day's head start! How does it work? Some people say Edea teleported them or something, but why not teleport to Esthar then, huh-huh-huh? XD But Mommy!Edea ftw, I think!
Lady Phantome – Drama is awesome, delicious drama moreso! As for the homophobia, I don't mean to actually upset you or any other readers, but I believe it's a true dilemma for Squall to face in his type of world. I totally agree with you though (else this fic woulda never come to pass lol). Nothing wrong with enjoying the emotional turmoil, just means you'll really enjoy the happy emotional reunion! XD Thanks for reading!
Ero-Chibi-Chan – Hee, I am glad you love the story so much! I hope it continues to be enjoyable =)
LexincoraFantasy – I'm having fun re-creating the FF8 scenes, not just to add Zidane but to make them a little more… realistic and believable. I love the game, but some parts are just so… wtf lol
Kuroneko03 – Better late than never, eh? Thanks for following along =) (I say that in every reply, but I always mean it!)
Wingsong5555 – I'm glad you'll still read! This story is fun, even if it is just (so far) recreation of FF8 lol But you're right, who knows what Ultimecia's done! *dun dun dunnn…*
Kupo Lady – Hehe, I am happy you like the development thus far XD But yes, Squall was passed out and did not see Zidane's Trance form, so he has no idea what it is, and Rinoa doesn't deem it important to talk about currently. And yes, only Zidane was witness to Ultimecia's attempt to get Rinoa, and the poor girl hit her head so hard she barely knows what happened. Unfortunately I can't answer the other questions because that's all part of ch.8! =)
xJuneii – Thank you XD This plot is getting fun (and coming to the best part, heeeee.) Thank you about the fight scene! I'm really getting the hang on them now. Stay tuned for more interaction, hehehe.