HUD: This one, my friends... This one is special. So special, in fact, that I won't say what the prompt is. You'll just have to figure it out. ;)

Prompt 3: (you got this, guys!)

Enjoy!

"I'm going to say this only once," Tony said. Loki was listening, or rather, humoring. "In, we say hello, kiss ass, whatever - an hour in, we're fucking done. Outta there." Tony jerked his thumb over his shoulder, face totally serious. "Like, for reals."

"Oh darling," Loki chuckled, arching his eyebrows to that perfect angle that he knew drove Tony crazy and resting his hand warmly on his partner's knee. "You can believe I understand forced pleasantries."

"I know," Tony sighed. He let his head loll back on the headrest of the limo seat. "It's just...I trust you, but not that guy. He fucking sucks you in; trust me."

"Oh?" Loki said, expression shifting. "Interesting..."

Tony looked over, blinking heavily. "Oh, no. I know that look."

"What look?" Loki asked innocently, eyes wide and the complete picture of bashfulness.

"The 'Tony-wasn't-daring-me-but-I-took-it-that-way' look."

"I hardly believe that to be a thing," Loki scoffed. Tony scooted around to face his boyfriend, pointer finger armed and, well, pointing.

"Listen here, bud. I know that's a thing whether you do or not. Don't you even think about it."

"I hardly know what you're talking about," Loki answered with a broad grin. He folded his hands in his lap patiently.

"You know I'm all about pranks; Operation Feather Fury will go down in history. But this guy has, like, no sense of humor," Tony said. He sighed and placed both of his hands over Loki's. "Just, do me a favour, okay? He's a huge public advocate for us, for you. This is a chance for a good first impression, and having this guy on our side is awesome. Plus, Pepper would honestly dig my grave if I fucked this up."

Loki inhaled deeply, lips twisting to the side. It was so hard to not do something when he absolutely knew he shouldn't. Ah, his personal burden. "...fine."

"Fine, what?" Tony urged. Loki smacked his lips and rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I will not 'ruin' the evening. Darling." Tony's sigh and smile of relief were almost worth it.

Almost.

Tony leaned forward and planted a solid kiss to the side of Loki's mouth. "Thank you. Besides, there may be more in the ways of bribery later."

"Oh?" Loki asked, lips quirking.

"Now that's my favourite look," Tony whispered, voice dropping an octave. Loki's grin spread.

"Sirs, we are arriving." The foreign driver's voice split the couple like lightning (ha, get it, Thor?), Tony immediately straightening the tie Loki had managed to nearly untie. If anything, Loki worked quickly. Tony had to bite his tongue from laughing at the death glare the driver received from said god.

All wrinkled ties and butterflies aside, the car had stopped and the door was being opened. Tony gulped, throwing one more look at Loki over his shoulder as he stepped out. The billionaire paused, hand extended, as he helped his boyfriend from the limo. He had to remember how to breathe.

Loki stood up slowly, slightly stretching his spine. He would never admit it, but even the extended cab of the limo could be too small for his ridiculously long legs (Tony only knew 'cuz he was special). He wore a long overcoat lined in marbled fur, something he brought from Asgard. Everything else he now wore Tony picked out - including the silver shirt and tailored suit pants and jacket. No way in hell would Tony let his love not look impeccable all the time. Although, he had to admit, Loki didn't really need too much help in that department.

Loki's shiny emerald eyes caught Tony staring, so he snapped his gaze back up. The god smirked, using his free hand to smooth down his loose braid as he squeezed Tony's hand in his other. Exhale - Tony Stark was totally ready.

They walked, hand in hand, to the foot of the stairs of the large mansion. They were greeted immediately and warmly, much to Tony's surprise. Before they were even in the foyer, Loki's coat had been taken and Tony was already holding the first round of their drinks. After a final brief welcome, a greying gentleman opened the door for them.

"The Master warmly welcomes Tony Stark of Stark Industries, and partner Loki Laufeyson to his humble abode. Please enjoy the refreshments," he said with a refined tone, followed by a dignified bow. Tony nodded his head in turn, placing his hand on the small of Loki's back and walking them into the room.

The ballroom was pretty sweet, honestly; Tony immediately began plotting a course to upgrade his own. You know, to stay up to date. Loki caught his calculating gaze and wrapped his arm around Tony's shoulders.

"If I am not allowed plotting, neither are you," he breathed against Tony's ear.

"But that staircase is so cool," he whined, bottom lip poking out slightly. Loki chuckled and flicked his partner's ear. Tony winced and pulled away, palm flat against the afflicted area. "Don't be a dick."

"Oh, I could elaborate if you would prefer," Loki muttered, tone turning dark. Tony just jutted his bottom lip further and dodged another ear flick.

Thus began their round of hide and flick. Tony should have known better, dragging the God of Mischief to a party full of the Stuffy and beg him to not be devious to any of them. Of course that would leave only his poor ears as a target.

As Tony wandered among the crowd, speaking to nearly every single aristocrat who would listen, he could see Loki just in the distance doing the same as he. Every few moments or so, though, he would catch a flick of his wrist or a quick nod of his head and only had a few seconds to react. He narrowly dodged two glasses of wine on the front of his stark white Armani suit, avoided slipping on a random puddle of dissolving snow, barely missed getting an entire tray of steak tar tar dropped on his head, and somehow his Aviators cracked while he was still wearing them. Each time, he would seek Loki out in the crowd. The god would catch his gaze and smirk around his champagne flute. If he wasn't so annoyed he would find it sexy as hell.

But even Tony Stark had a limit; his happened to be getting hit in the balls one too many times by the swinging kitchen door as he was dodging a seemingly random 'falling' glass of red wine. As he sat with his back to the kickass staircase, trying to discreetly cup his aching balls, a familiar set of shoes stepped into his vision.

"Dammit, Loki, I'll fuck you up for this," he grumbled.

"Oh? I'd rather not get roped into your little domestic, Mr. Stark."

Tony snapped his eyes open fully and was on his feet in seconds. "Shit," he said, holding his hand out. The man before him smiled, but took the hand.

"Is that what you're calling yourself these days?" For a guy Tony remembered lacking a huge funny bone, he was doing pretty well.

"Ha, no," Tony grinned, fighting a wince. "I'm just - "

"In pain. I totally understand," the man answered, still smiling. Tony grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, we'll go with that." He pulled his hand back and wiped off some dust from his pants, still cursing Loki in his head. Oh, that god would pay.

"So, do I finally get to meet the man who tamed the great playboy, Tony Stark?" He asked, bright blue eyes shining. Tony rolled his eyes.

"You sure about that? I don't think he's got all the pranks out of his system just yet," Tony drawled. The other man laughed, clapping his hand on Tony's shoulder.

"Positive. You know I have a trickster of my own; I have some experience," the man said with a wink. Tony shrugged, fighting a smile. No amount of experience could ever prepare someone for Loki. He knew that better than anyone.

Still, he allowed himself to be led through the thick throng of people and back into view. He was now stopped by nearly every person he made eye contact with. Tony wasn't sure if it was because of who he was walking with or if it was because of Loki. Either way, when they finally found him, the god certainly was a sight.

Loki was sitting in an armchair, surrounded by what was easily some of the most beautiful women Tony had ever seen. Loki was speaking politely to them, which couldn't help but churn Tony's stomach. They had been dating for nearly three years now, and exclusive for only two, but Tony still feared waking up to find the god gone, moved on. Seeing him, as gorgeous as he was, surrounded by possible candidates, halted the billionaire's steps.

His companion noticed the hesitation and placed a hand on Tony's shoulder. "Pay close attention, Tony," he muttered. Tony blinked.

Even though Loki sat among people who were easily better than Tony in more than one way, the god looked amazingly bored. He was speaking politely, but that was all. There was no light to his slight smirk, no interest in his posture. Tony began to smile.

"And that's why you have my support," he finished. Loki must have heard him, because he turned his gaze in Tony's direction. A small shine came to his eye as his lips quirked. In a second he was excusing himself and heading towards Tony - like he was the only one in the room. Hell yeah.

"Giving up so soon, dear?" Loki teased, eyes softening at the edge. Tony just grinned.

"Nah, I just wanted you to meet someone!" Tony said. He clapped a hand on the man's shoulder beside him. Loki looked over, shifting his weight. Oh, this was going to be good.

The man was only an inch taller than Tony but still slightly shorter than Loki, with wide shoulders that could make even Thor jealous. His blue eyes were bright and kind, his dark black hair styled similarly to Tony when he was going for a business meeting after Pepper dressed him. His smile was wide, showing incredibly white teeth, and setting his sharp jaw well. He couldn't have been more than just a few years younger than Tony, but a heavy burden had aged him slightly; Loki noticed a few streaks of grey and wrinkles around his eyes. Interesting.

"Loki Laufeyson," Loki said, holding his hand out. The man seemed to smile wider as he accepted the gesture.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Laufeyson," he answered, pumping his arm slightly. "I'm Bruce Wayne."

Loki's eyes widened, his cheeks immediately turning pink, as his jaw grew slack. Bruce flashed a look at Tony, spurring the genius into action. "Hey, babe? You okay?"

"Y-you, you're..." Loki mumbled. He looked at their still connected hands and snatched his back as if burned. "You're..."

"What?" Tony urged. Bruce calmly put his hands in his pockets and waited. "What is he?"

Loki, at a total lose for words, began to hum: "Na na na na na na na..."

"Jesus Christ, Loki! Shut up!" Tony snapped. They now had the attention of a few nearby party goers. Bruce, trying to hide his grin behind his hand and failing miserably, jerked his head towards the stairs and waved for Tony to follow. Tony grabbed the now silent Loki and followed.

Once they were within the safety of Bruce's study, the playboy couldn't help his loud laughter.

"Dude, seriously?!" Tony snapped, which only fueled Wayne's humor.

"I'm sorry, Tony. This really is hilarious."

"You were almost ousted out there, and I would have felt guilty has hell! Not okay!" Tony made a little 'x' with his fingers. "This could have been bad."

"What? Your boyfriend having a crush on me?" Bruce teased. Tony's jaw dropped. He whipped his head to look at Loki, who had taken a seat in a large leather armchair and was hiding his face in his hands. Not helping.

"Loki, what the hell?!" Tony said, tone exasperated.

"What?" The god snapped back. Bruce still managed to hide his snickers behind his hand as Tony stomped over.

"Dude, you almost told Bruce's secret to, like, all of Gotham!" Tony paused, holding a hand out. "Wait, how did you - "

"Know?" Loki finished, peeking between his fingers. "I figured it out."

"When?"

"Here."

"What - how!? I thought you were too busy bugging the shit outta me to be constructive," Tony huffed. Loki shrugged.

"I can multitask."

Tony really couldn't ignore Bruce's blatant laughter behind him. "Really, guy?"

"Hey, sorry. It isn't too often I meet a true..." He paused, resting his fingers on his chin thoughtfully. "Admirer."

Tony whirled on the playboy. "Uh, come again?"

"Admirer," Bruce supplied again. "Obviously, he's enamored with me." He nodded towards Loki, as if daring Tony to confirm his suspicion. Tony didn't want to, but he did.

Loki still sat with his face covered, but Tony could see the blush on his pale neck. Well; Tony never thought he would ever feel jealous of his long-distance pal.

"Well, Brucey! Thanks so much for having us over and all the positive press and blah blah," Tony said, waving his hand. His tone was strained at best, his smile even faker. This fucking sucked. "But we'll be leaving now."

"No."

Tony's and Bruce's eyebrows rose accordingly, turning to the previously silent god in the chair.

"Uh, yeah?"

"No."

"Uh, no?"

"Correct."

"What the hell?!" Tony snapped. He turned back to Bruce. "Did your burlap-masked looney spray him or something?"

"...do you mean Scarecrow?" He asked, eyebrows narrowing in confusion.

"Whatever!" Tony snapped. He wiped his palms on his suit, hands suddenly too sweaty. He walked back to Loki and knelt before him, hands on his knees. "Let's go home, babe."

Loki began to chuckle, which only freaked Tony out more. He looked from his boyfriend to Bruce, who still leaned against his desk with his hands in his pockets - and being absolutely no help. "Loki?" He asked, voice small.

A moment passed, where all that was heard was Loki's soft chuckles and Tony's lack of breathing. After a few more dreadful seconds, Loki suddenly snapped his head up, surprising the shit out of Tony.

"Alright, I'm good," Loki said, smiling warmly at Tony. Tony blinked.

"Uh, what?" He whispered. Loki flicked his gaze towards Bruce and smirked.

"Should I tell him or would you prefer?"

"Nah, go ahead," Bruce grinned and waved.

"I'm starting to get pissed here, guys," Tony said quietly. Loki patted his hands gently.

"I found Mr. Wayne not too long after you took off," Loki began, rubbing circles on the back of Tony's hands. "He is quite the character, and exactly the type I would expect to be interested in a wager."

"Guilty," Bruce shrugged. Tony rolled his eyes.

"I wagered that you wouldn't allow me to continue the song; he did not, and is obviously the loser," Loki said smugly.

"Awesome, cool, love it - still not following," Tony frowned.

"For a man you said had little to no humor, he wagered something very interesting," Loki continued. When Tony only stared, he winked. "I have won us a ride in the famed Batmobile."

Tony's jaw dropped. "No. Way."

"Yes; now, shall we?" Loki stood, bodily pulling Tony up with him. Bruce nodded and walked over to his piano. After a few keys, a wall of his bookcase slid back.

"Have fun, boys," he grumbled, pretending to be a poor sport. Tony's eyes lit even brighter.

"Oh hell yes! You said I never could, so I'm going to fucking enjoy this!" He took off down the stairs like a kid in a candy store, leaving Loki and Bruce behind.

"All is forgiven, it seems," Loki muttered, shaking his head.

"That was good one," Bruce said, holding his hand out. Loki eyed it, but accepted the offer.

"Well, consider this only the beginning," Loki said with a smirk, following after Tony. Bruce watched until both of their shadows had disappeared before sealing the path back with a reversal of the piano tones. He sat in the chair Loki had been in, resting his hands in his lap.

"Is this wise?" Bruce flicked his eyes behind him, gaze sharp.

"Perhaps not," he said. A gentle hand fell to his shoulder; he reached back and grabbed it just as softly. "But a deal is a deal."

"Heh, I could have told ya how making a deal with the God of Trickery would go."

"I wanted to see if this was real," Bruce murmured. He looked over his shoulder at the blond man standing over him. He was dressed in a silken suit, with only a purple and green tie hinting to his identity - well, and the large grinning scars stretching his smile. "I understand his struggles, which is why I fully support them publicly. People can change, even super villains."

"Bah, you and your fucking sentiment," the man grinned, green eyes gleaming. Bruce reached up and snatched that gaudy tie down, pulling the owner with it. After stealing a quick kiss, he released his hold.

"Even you have to agree to the parallels," he muttered. The other didn't pull away, his answering lips grazing Bruce's softly. "Our situations are nearly identical."

"Oh it's more apparent than your hard on," he said, bright laughter bubbling in his chest. Bruce just rolled his eyes.

"You're certainly charming tonight, Jack."

"Oh I'm charming all the time, Batsy!" The Joker grinned, butting his head lightly to Bruce. "But, would you care to hear a thought?"

"Always," Bruce answered truthfully, looking back at the bookcase. Joker drummed his fingers on the edge of the leather chair, humming lowly.

"They're so going to fuck like rabbits in that car."

A/N: Yeah, that happened. ;) The prompt was Batman, in case anyone missed that. So shoot on over to Shi-Toyu to read her version of the prompt! Also, my Bruce and Joker were based on Bale and Ledger.

To those who may not know (since this is a universe crossover), in one origin story for the Joker called 'The Killing Joke', he is called Jack at one point by one of the gangsters he used to work for. I chose to stick with it, being as how Joker never really has a name, but that is the most common personification of the madman before his fall.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed! Tell me about it in the box below! ;)