Pairing: Kenshin x Kaoru
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU/AR/Romance/Humour

Notes: I realized there might still be a few drabbles on my LJ that I haven't included here so.. These stories were originally posted on my LJ in 2009.

Enjoy!

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Flirt

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"Aren't you too hot to flirt?"

"That was a new one. Refreshing."

"It wasn't a pick-up. It wasn't even a compliment."

"Oh? Why not?"

"Because I hate guys like you."

"Guys like me?"

"Yeah, too hot."

"Again with the compliments that aren't really compliments, huh?"

"My specialty."

"I see. But you shouldn't really judge the book by its cover, you know."

"Alright. Then maybe you should follow your own advice because I'm not that kind of girl."

"Really? And what kind is that?"

"The one who's eager to receive any STDs you might have for the price of a few drinks."

"Hm, I was about to ask if you wanted a refill but I see now that wouldn't be profitable for my case."

"Oh you can buy me how many drinks you want, I don't mind."

"You sure?"

"Yes, as long as you leave me alone once you've paid for them."

"That would defeat the purpose though, now wouldn't it?"

"You're quite persistent aren't you, Mr. Hotshot?"

"Yes, and I'm not even making an effort."

"Really now?"

"Yes."

"Ah."

"Can I invite you for some tea?"

"Tea? Why not coffee?"

"I'm not a coffee person. And it's too cliché, and you don't seem like the cliché type."

"Oh."

"So, you wanna go?"

"No."

"How about dinner then?"

"I thought you didn't do cliché?"

"Alrgiht, how about lunch?"

"Nope."

"Breakfast?"

"Sure."

"….how come you accepted that so easily?"

"Are you complaining?"

"No, but I'm quite sure there's something I'm missing."

"Yeah, the one I am in the mornings is the most horrible person you'd ever meet. I'd gladly introduce you to that bitch."

"I feel honored. It's a date then?"

"No, it's free breakfast for me and headaches for you."

"I've got asprin."

"I've got a sledgehammer."

"Wouldn't that be murder?"

"I'm sure your head is thick enough to stand it."

"Alright. I'll meet you by the starbucks down the street at 9 tomorrow?"

"I thought you weren't a coffee person."

"I'm not, it's just an easy landmark."

"Fine."

"Great, I'll see you then!"

"Hey, where are you going?!"

"Since I managed to get some of your time for tomorrow I think it rude to intrude on the rest of your evening. What? You don't want me to leave? I was under the impression you wanted me gone."

"I do, but not before you get me those drinks."

"I don't do cliché, remember?"

"…."

"I'm kidding. I'll get you another one of those. What's it called?"

"Blowjob."

"…you order it, I'll pay."

"No, you order it."

"You just want me to say it, don't you?"

"Yes, I'm an easy lady to please."

"Really now? I hadn't noticed."

"Quit stalling and order."

"It might cost you another date. Over lunch."

"Fine, just say it."

"Alright…hey! Bartender! I'd like a blowjob for the lady here, please."

"….that was no fun."

"I thought you were easy to please?"

"Oh, I am. It's just you."

"I see. You'll have to teach me then, don't you?"

"That might take a while."

"I don't mind, I've got plenty of time."

"You should use it wisely then."

"I am."

"I haven't noticed."

"Oh, here's your drink!"

"Thanks."

"Well, I'll leave you to it. See you tomorrow…?"

"Kaoru."

"Kenshin. Nice meeting you, sweetie."

"Hey! No nicknames! Get back here! Argh, he's gone. Damn. What a flirt."

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Date

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"This isn't a date."

"You said that about the last two times as well, Kaoru."

"Yeah, I know, because those weren't dates either."

"How come?"

"For a date to be a date, the two going on it both need to be willing."

"If you weren't willing, why did you show up?"

"Beside the fact that you'd track me down and drag me here? Well, I'm not a coward."

"You make it sound like a challenge."

"It isn't?"

"….here, let me get that for you."

"I can refill my own glass, thank you very much."

"Oh it's no trouble, really."

"Fine."

"So, Kaoru…what more is lacking for this to be a 'real' date?"

"Don't try any small talk smartass, it'll only end unpleasantly."

"You're avoiding my question; interesting. And I was under the impression we were already small talking."

"It's called arguing, Kenshin."

"Still avoiding. You act as if you don't like me."

"That would be because I don't."

"Love is born out of hate sometimes, you know."

"Well isn't it fortunate that my hate is sterile then."

"I should get the check now, shouldn't I?"

"That would be a great idea; we're already out of wine."

"Right. Waiter! Check please!"

.

"Wow, that went fast. I think they want to get rid of you, Kenshin."

"Yeah, he wished me good luck. There's probably a betting pool going round on how soon we'll get to the make up sex."

"That was disturbing."

"I rather like the idea, actually."

"I bet you would, Mr STD."

"I'll have you know I've had myself checked not long ago and came out clean."

"That fact that you needed a check-up in the first place speaks for itself."

"You wound me."

"If I'd had a gun, yes."

"You know, guns don't kill people…"

"No, just the victims of prolonged torture with their captors at their mercy. And stop it, I can open my own door!"

"I need to open your car door, Kaoru, it's part of a real date isn't it?"

"Really? From your experience or from the movies?"

"The movies."

"Thought so."

"Still romantic though, isn't it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you treat me like I'm unable to open the door by myself. I'll have you know I'm a strong, independent woman."

"So I'm not allowed to want to take care of you despite the fact that I know you're independent?"

"Exactly; you catch on quick."

"Do you like blues?"

"Why?"

"It's the only station I have."

"Your car sucks."

"No, my radio sucks. The car is just fine."

"You're driving like an old lady."

"I shudder to think of how your driving would be."

"Don't worry, you'll never find out. I won't be seeing you again, right?"

"What makes you think that?"

"What? Damnit Kenshin! You said this was gonna be the last date!"

"But it isn't a date, you said so yourself."

"….I hate you."

"I'm sure. Is this it?"

"Yeah, turn left here and you can park to the right."

"Nice. Lovely building."

"I know, you said so yesterday. And no, you're not gonna get the door for me again."

"Alright."

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Out?"

"Why? You don't need to leave the car, you're driving away, remember?"

"Not before I walk you to the door."

"What is it with you and doors?"

"I'm a gentleman. No date without the walking-the-lady-to-the-door scene."

"Right. Well, we're here so you can leave now. And don't look; I'm getting my spare key."

"Where's your real one?"

"I don't know, I had it yesterday but now it's gone…okay, you can look now."

"Mmm…"

"What?"

"Nice view."

"You're not talking to my boobs, are you? They're not capable of answering."

"Really? So the moving up and down bit isn't nodding?"

"…no."

"Fascinating."

"Hey! Eyes off!"

"I'm not looking at your boobs."

"Oh really?"

"I find your lips quite eye catching, to be honest."

"Maybe you'll like my teeth as well; I bite."

"Are you flirting with me?"

"Yes, I thought I might return the favor."

"I think that's the nicest thing you've said to me these past three days."

"I seem to have lost my touch. These non-dates must've made me soften up; made me feel pity for you. Poor guy; can't even take a girl out on a proper date!"

"So getting your car door and walking you to your home didn't cut it?"

"I never said that. But you're still missing something."

"What's that?"

"The kiss."

"Well, I was mmphhh…!"

.

.

.

.

"Wow, Kaoru, that was…"

"Amazing."

"Mm, yes, something like that."

"I'm quite the kisser."

"You're gonna take the credit for this one, aren't you?"

"Yepp."

"Invite me in for coffee."

"Why? You don't even drink it."

"I want to get even. I'll show you I'm quite the apt kisser as well; specialized in several areas."

"On the first date? I don't think so. What happened to your gentlemanly ways?"

"I think you sucked them out when you attacked my face."

"You make it sound like I ate your lips off."

"You might as well have, they're quite numb."

"You must've met my teeth."

"You don't remember?"

"….."

"I'll let it go for now, but next time my kisses make you forget such things I'm gonna bask in it."

"What make you think it was your kisses?"

"Well, what else?"

"Your ass."

"What?"

"You have a very firm ass, my hands were quite happy to finally meet it."

"This is the revenge of your boobs, isn't it?"

"Now that you mention it, yes; yes it is."

"You sure you don't want some coffee?"

"Kenshin…"

"Alright! Just making sure… How about a good night kiss then?"

"No, I might get weird cravings."

"For coffee?"

"You're pushing your luck buddy."

"I wasn't aware I had one concerning you until a few moments ago."

"Are you gonna leave so I can go to sleep?"

"I can sleep with you if you'd like."

"I thought we had this conversation."

"We did? Oh, no, that was about coffee. Gosh Kaoru, what did you think?!"

"Ha ha, really funny."

"I know, I'm thinking about becoming a comedian."

"Great, another thing to stand-up."

"You have your moments, don't you?"

"Yes, and now, I'm gonna slam this door in your face and possibly cut off your foot if you don't take a step back and stop hovering in my doorway."

"I can live without my foot."

"If I knee you in the groin?"

"It's getting a bit late; I'll pick you up for breakfast tomorrow again, alright?"

"Okay, but I'm paying this time!"

"Why? I thought you didn't mind when I paid?"

"Because it's not a date, and me paying for it will make it clear even to your old fashioned dating sense."

"Can I still kiss you, even if it isn't a date?"

"Holy shit can you just leave?!"

"Eager, are we?"

"YES! I need to sit down and process the fact that I just made out with you! Now leave!"

"I'll be thinking about it too baby."

"Aurgh!"

"Good night sweetie."

"What have I said about nicknames?! And don't kiss me on the chee—damnit."

"Thank you for the date, lady, it was quite wonderful."

"JUST GO DAMNIT!"

"Right! See you tomorrow!"

.

"What the hell just happened?"

.

Sweet

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"I don't do sweet."

"I know."

"I mean, really, I don't! And neither do you!"

"Mm…"

"Because…because remember when we first met? When I made you order a Blowjob?"

"Of course, that drink has become my favorite…of course, only when you're the bartender."

"See? See!? We DON'T do sweet!"

"No, we don't. But—"

"—And…and remember on my 22nd birthday, when you took me to see the dolphins? You pushed me in! I had to change in the staff room that smelled like fish!"

"Oh yes, I remember. You had white underwear…and those shelves were steady…"

"See! Not sweet, not sweet at all!"

"Alright then, to continue down memory lane, let's not forget when you dumped ice cream on me for no reason either."

"Vanilla ice cream, Kenshin."

"That was two years ago and you still remember it was vanilla?"

"Well, duh! You didn't even bring me any chocolate sauce, or grated chocolate to sprinkle on top!"

"Oh, right, you don't eat any ice cream without chocolate. Right."

"Exactly. Thus the vanilla ice cream on your head."

"And later on your stomach, if I recall correctly."

"I still don't understand how you can stand to eat plain vanilla ice cream. I shudder at the thought."

"You can still convert me to chocolate you know, but only if…."

"If I'm the bowl?"

"Exactly."

"….Get your hands off my ass, it's distracting."

"I like distractions."

"Well, I don't. I'm trying to think here. And eating my ear is not helping."

"You sound like a cat when you hiss like that. I think I fancy some pus—"

"—DON'T even go there, Himura Kenshin!"

"Oh but I already have. Plenty of times. And you enjoy it too, as I recall."

"Kenshin?"

"Mm?"

"Hands. Off. Chest. Now."

"Or else?"

"Or else I won't answer your question."

"….but I want to touch you."

"….stop it."

"What?"

"You're not sweet! Really! And don't look at me like that!"

"Can't help it."

"Dammit. Stop smiling, stupid man…"

"Mmm…"

"You really aren't sweet. Really. Honestly! But…but this…"

"Hm?"

"This is…sweet. Very sweet…"

"Should I take that as a yes?"

"…yeah."

"You know, you might not do sweet, but when you smile like that…it's hard to tell."

"Oh shut up and kiss me, fiancé."

"It would be my pleasure, bride-to-be."

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.

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"You taste like strawberries, Kenshin."

"Not very manly, is it? Maybe I should've ordered something bitter instead."

"No, I like it. It's…"

"Sweet?"

"No, it just goes well with the chocolate pudding I had. And stop laughing!"

"Sorry, but you're really cute."

"….well, as long as it isn't sweet…."