Joker and the Seven Stages of Grief

by Lilpixiegirl2511

Joker finally offs the Bat. He's elated, ecstatic, giddy...until he realizes he just destroyed his only reason for living. We'll follow Joker through his cycle of grief over this sudden revelation. As both his lover and shrink we'll also delve into the thoughts and insight of Harley Quinn. M for language/violence.

2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Denial

Harley woke feeling rested and she could finally breathe through her nose again which was a blessing. She took care of her morning routine, got dressed and ventured into the lair to find Joker. She discovered him in his lab on the second floor happily building bombs and assembling detonators as he hummed to himself.

Maybe he's already come to terms with it?

He glanced up from his work when he heard her footsteps shuffle into the room.

"Morning Poo!" He said brightly. "Looks like someone is finally feeling better."

"I could say the same about you Puddin. You seem to be taking this Batman thing pretty well." He smirked at his girl.

"Oh come on, Poo. You know as well as I do that Batsy isn't really dead. Once he recovers from our last punch up, he'll show up when everybody least expects it and the fun can begin again. In the meantime, if everyone wants to congratulate me and throw me parties, it's certainly not going to hurt my feelings. You know how much I enjoy being in the spotlight. I'll accept their accolades, gifts and gratitude and when Batsy's back in the saddle I'll act just as shocked as everyone else, then go back to trying to kill him again. Just like old times."

"Puddin, have you considered that B-man may actually be dead this time? That it's possible he really isn't coming back?" He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Of course not. Because he isn't dead!" he shouted. "He'll be back before you know it. You just wait and see. When we hold an entire stadium, packed wall to wall with sport going spectators hostage he'll show his pointy ears in public. Mark my words Harley." Dr. Quinzel spoke up inside of Harley's head.

'He's denying the reality of Batman's death to protect himself from the pain of his loss. He's not emotionally prepared to deal with his feelings so he's entertaining fantasies of Batman somehow coming back. He's acting as if and has likely convinced himself that nothing has happened. This state could last a few days or a few weeks. Be prepared for the fallout.'

"Okay, whatever you say Puddin. If you don't need my help today I was planning on running over to see Ivy." He waved at her in a shooing gesture.

"Fine Pumpkin, go do what you need to. Don't forget we're leaving for the Iceberg at eight tonight so don't dilly-dally too long." She kissed him on the cheek.

"Okay Pud, I'll see you later." He shook his head as he watched her go. Once she was out of earshot he began thinking out loud as he wired the detonator in his hand

"How can that dim-witted dunce actually think that Batsy's dead? Doesn't she remember all of the other times Batman was supposedly dead? Like the time I killed him only to find out a week later that the person I killed was just a civilian in a Batman costume. Or that time he was impaled on a shovel, of all things, and had to jump into one of Ra's Al Ghul's Lazarus pits. What about the time that Darkseid guy from Apokolips vaporized him? Did he really die? Noooo, he got sent back in time and somehow managed to make his way back from prehistory to modern Gotham! And she thinks a teensy little explosion did him in? Fah! It amazes me how incredibly simple minded Harley can be sometimes. Batsy's not dead and that's that. It's business as usual around here." He smiled as he pulled out the soldering gun. "Yup, I'll see you on Sunday, Batman. Count on it."

Across town Harley was sitting in Poison Ivy's living room drinking coffee and talking about all that had happened over the past few days.

"He's in denial, Red. I get why. Let's face it, there have been at least ten times over the years when everyone thought Batman was dead then a few weeks later he turns up again as if nothing ever happened. For Mistah J's sake, and quite frankly my own, I really hope that ends up being the case but I just don't know. I was there, and I don't know how anyone could have survived that explosion."

"Well Harls, I certainly don't envy you. Being around Joker on a normal day is hard enough. I can't even imagine what he'd be like while grieving for his little costumed butt-buddy."

"Red! That's not very nice!" Ivy chuckled.

"Oh come on Harls, even you have to admit that there's something going on there." Harley crossed her arms over her chest.

"No, I don't. Mistah J and I have discussed this at length both in-session at Arkham and at home. It's not a sexual attraction! Mistah J is straight as an arrow!" Ivy smirked at her.

"Oh really? Then look me in the eye and tell me he's never made you wear the cape and cowl or use bat-cuffs on him in the bedroom."

Harley's jaw hung slack as her eyes widened in surprise. She sputtered and backpedaled.

"T-that's not the same thing! It's just a fantasy scenario between two consenting adults!" she shouted. Ivy's smile was so wide it almost split her face in two.

"I knew it! Oh, you kinky little monkeys!" She laughed out loud as she gripped her stomach. "Does he make you peg him too?"

"What?"

"You know, a little strap on action? Inquiring minds want to know the sick, twisted antics the Clown Prince and Princess of Crime get up to in the privacy of their bedroom."

"Well, there was this one t-. No! What goes on in my boudoir is between me and Puddin!" Ivy laughed again.

"I KNEW IT!"

"Bite me Red!" She winked at Harley.

"Oh, did you plan on staying over and drinking three bottles of wine again? I'm up for it if you are." Harley flinched and her face grew serious.

"Red we talked about this. We aren't ever supposed to talk about that night. Ever! If Mistah J ever found out, I'll be eating through a straw for months." Ivy leaned in and whispered in Harley's ear.

"You know you loved it!" Harley backed away.

"Red, what is the matter with you today? Are you high or something?" Ivy shrugged.

"Just a little, strictly for quality control. New project I'm working on. C'mon I'll show you."

Ivy led Harley down to her lab. Harley smelled something very pungent as she descended the stairs.

"What is that smell?" Ivy opened the door to the lab.

"My newest project. I'm working on some brand new strains." Ivy's lab looked as it always did with the exception of about a dozen large pot plants scattered across her lab tables. She pointed to one of the tables. "These over here are low to no THC, high CBD medicinal strains. They treat things like epilepsy, cancer, MS, arthritis and a slew of other conditions. These go strictly to medical dispensaries across the city." She brought Harley over to another table. These plants looked completely different than the others. "And these over here are the real deal." She caressed a plant that was heavy with large almost white looking, very crystalized buds. "This is my newest creation. The buds are coated in highly concentrated THC crystals. I call this strain 'Frozen'."

"Wow, it's pretty. They really do look like they're coated in ice." Ivy chuckled.

"That's only half the reason for the name. Mostly it's because this strain really helps you let things go." Harley rolled her eyes.

"And you call my jokes bad. Red, when the hell did you get involved in all of this?" Ivy raised one red eyebrow.

"Really Harley? My name is Poison Ivy, my super power is growing plants and it never once crossed your mind that I had a hand in the cannabis trade?"

"Okay, I guess it should have occurred to me, but you've never mentioned it before." Ivy shrugged.

"I didn't think it would interest you. This is why I don't have to pull regular jobs like you and J. I don't need cash or diamonds when I have a significant and steady income off of these babies. Anyway, my involvement is limited. I grow the product and the rest is handled by my loyal associates who distribute the goods."

"You mean mind controlled associates."

"Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Anyway, about seventy percent of the stoners in this city get their product from Poison Ivy, they just don't know it."

"Wow. I guess you really do learn something new every day. Is there anything else I should know about you?"

"I'm also the biggest player in Gotham's mushroom trade." She saw the confused look on Harley's face. "Magic mushrooms Harls. They have a hallucinogenic effect. You seem pretty naive about all of this."

"Well I've never done any of this stuff! How should I know? I tried Ecstasy once at a rave in college. It was great until I started puking my guts up, then it wasn't so fun anymore. That was my one and only experiment with any mind altering substances other than alcohol." Ivy produced a small glass jar full of the white looking buds.

"Well here, take this with you in case you ever get the urge to experiment again. You don't need much, this is really good stuff, the street value of this strain is six hundred dollars an ounce. At least if J drives you crazy you'll have a little escape handy." She warily eyed the jar.

"You won't be mad if I don't use it right?"

"Of course not." Harley put the jar in her purse and looked at her watch.

"Oh crap. I better run girlfriend. I have to get ready for Mistah J's party. You're going right?" Ivy sighed.

"Yeah I'll be there. Harvey asked me to be his date tonight." Harley gave Ivy a cockeyed grin.

"You and Harvey, eh? You planning on a little ooh la la later? Inquiring minds want to know." Ivy punched her lightly in the arm.

"I guess I deserved that."

"Ya think? Soooo, you and Harv?"

"It's just a date, but you never know what the night may hold." Harley squealed.

"Ah, young love."

"Lust Harley, not love. Big difference."

"Whatever. Anyway, you're not to breathe a word of our conversation earlier to anyone or I will hunt you down and bash you with my mallet, got it Pammy?"

"Yeah, yeah. It's not like everyone doesn't already speculate about it, but I promise. Scout's honor." She held up her three middle fingers.

"I'll see you at the Iceberg later. Bye Red!"

Back at the Ha-hacienda Joker finished rigging the detonators and completed the last of the bombs. Once that was done he picked out his suit for the party. Then, without Harley there, he realized he had nothing else to do for a few hours. He tried reading a book, but found he couldn't concentrate on it. He flipped through TV channels, but found nothing he was interested in watching. Without any distractions he found himself thinking about Bats.

Could it actually be true? Could I have actually killed him for real this time? No. It couldn't be, it just couldn't be. How can I go on without him? Batman has been my whole life, my whole world, since the accident at Ace Chemicals. I don't remember anything before that day. It's always been about Batsy and our wonderful little game. I've put everything into our relationship, it can't suddenly just be over. This isn't really happening, he's not dead. Really. He's just… resting, right? Or was abducted by aliens or something.

I need a distraction. Something to keep me occupied until the stadium gag then Batsy will show up and everything can go back to normal again. Too bad Harley's not here, she's usually pretty good at keeping me occupied. Hmmmm….

"I've got it! I know what will keep me busy." He stalked off into his lab to get started.

Harley got back from Ivy's around dinnertime. She needed to hurry up and start getting ready for the party. When she got to the fourth floor the door to their living space was slightly cracked. She paid it no mind, J was famous for getting distracted and not completing simple tasks like closing doors. As she opened the door she was doused with a full bucket of ice water. The bucket bounced off her head and landed with a thud on the floor next to her foot.

"Mistah Jaaayyyyy! I'm gonna kill you!" She screamed. She could hear him guffawing from around the corner. She put her hands on her hips as he stepped out of the hallway to look at her. "What the hell, Puddin?" He held up his cell phone and snapped a picture of her. "Oh no!" She dug in her handbag for her phone which was now drenched and wouldn't turn on. "PUDDIN! What the hell is wrong with you?" He was still cackling and was now holding his sides.

"Oh Poo, the look on your face is priceless!"

"Why would you do this?" He straightened up and plastered a serious look onto his face.

"I was bored and you weren't here, so I had to occupy myself somehow."

"So you decided it was a great idea to play a practical joke on me?" Her hands were balled into fists and her knuckles were turning white.

"Pumpkin, have you forgotten exactly who you live with. I'm the Joker. Jokes are kinda my thing." She threw her useless phone at him but he sidestepped it as he chuckled and snorted at her.

"You owe me a new iPhone, you jerk!"

She stormed past him into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She was absolutely livid, but she supposed she shouldn't be particularly surprised. He had a tendency to make her life hell when he was bored or sad or angry. She probably should have anticipated this juvenile acting out, what with the news about Batsy and all. She stripped out of her wet clothes and put on a bathrobe as she rummaged in the closet for something to wear to the Iceberg Lounge. She settled on a short black cocktail dress, red stilettos and a red wrap which she laid out on the bed. She walked down the hallway to the bathroom to get showered and start getting ready. Joker heard the bathroom door close and tiptoed down the hallway. He stood beside the doorway and listened.

Harley lifted the lid on the toilet and put her hand through the opening to check for plastic wrap before she sat down to do her necessary. When her weight settled onto the toilet seat she was shocked by a loud popping and crackling sound that made her jump up. She lifted the seat to see a ring of bubble wrap taped to the rim of the bowl.

"Puddin!" she growled. She could hear him chuckling in the hallway. "Creep!" She ripped the bubble wrap off, balled it up and threw it in the garbage can before finally being able to pee. She cautiously opened the shower. Nothing jumped out at her. She eyeballed the shower head. "I'm not falling for that one again."

She got on her tiptoes and unscrewed the showerhead to inspect it. Once, a few years ago he had packed the shower head full of fruit punch flavored Kool-Aid. It took almost two weeks to get all of the red stains out of her hair. She sighed in relief to see he hadn't messed with it. After her shower she slipped back into her bathrobe and began getting ready. She brushed her teeth, opening a brand new toothbrush to do so. She carefully applied her makeup, checking everything twice before using it. She combed the tangles out of her hair and pulled her hairdryer out of the vanity. She sectioned her hair, using a large round brush to pull the waves out of it and turned on the hairdryer. Within seconds both herself and the entire bathroom were coated with a thick layer of baby powder as it poured from the dryer in a cloud. She coughed and hacked having breathed in a lungful of the stuff, threw the still running hairdryer on the ground and kicked the bathroom door open.

"JOKER! YOU ASSHOLE! YOU BETTER START RUNNING BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAD! YOU HEAR ME? DEAD!" His mad giggling came from their bedroom. She stomped towards him. "Just wait until I get my hands on you, ya pasty faced creep! I'm gonna murderize ya!"

As she entered the bedroom a flash went off in her face. She released a furious animalistic growl and launched herself at J, who was already fully dressed in his suit. She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and used her full weight to knock him onto his back. Baby powder flew throughout the room as she started throwing punches. He was still laughing hysterically even as she gave him a right uppercut to his jaw.

"You. Stupid. Jerk!" She yelled between punches. He grabbed her wrists and rolled them both over so he was lying on top of her. They were both covered from head to toe in white powder. He had a tiny stream of blood running from the corner of his mouth but he was still smiling madly.

"Oh Poo, you really know how to turn Daddy on but I don't think we have time for this right now. We have a party to get to." She was still struggling beneath him.

"Screw you J! I'm not going!" His smile spontaneously turned into a frown.

"Oh come on Harley. Where's your sense of humor? It was just a joke for chrissakes!"

"Get offa me!" He pinned her hands down on either side of her head.

"No, not until you calm down." She pursed her lips and stopped fighting him.

"Fine, now get off!"

"Look Harley, you know what happens when I get bored, and if you hadn't been off playing with the talking house plant I wouldn't have needed to find something to keep me occupied."

"That's no excuse for being a jerk!"

"Harley, I don't need an excuse to be a jerk." He deadpanned. "I would think after all these years you'd know that by now. Now I said I was only playing, so instead of being a brat why don't you go get cleaned up so we can go to my party." Harleen spoke up in Harley's mind as she glared at her lover.

'It's starting. This is just Joker being needy because he's feeling a loss elsewhere in his life. This is the beginning of his faulty coping mechanism kicking in. I told you to be prepared for the fallout. This will get worse before it gets better. You'll need to be on your toes.'

She sighed and let her body relax beneath him.

"Fine Mistah J. Let me up so I can go shower… again. Should I be worried about any other surprises?" He smiled widely.

"Not immediately, no."

She rolled her eyes. He released her wrists and stood up offering her a hand. She took it and he helped her to her feet. He chuckled at her again.

"Oh Harls, you do look a sight."

"Stifle it Mistah J, before I change my mind."

She stomped off and re-showered while Joker changed into a clean suit and washed the powder off his face and from his hairline. Before long she emerged looking irritated but beautiful in her cocktail dress. He offered her his arm.

"Ready to go Poo?" She shot him a look. She was still annoyed with him for the whole powder in the hairdryer prank.

"Ready as I'm gonna be. Let's go."

They arrived at the Iceberg Lounge fashionably late. As they entered the balcony room of the lounge the gathered criminals stood, cheered and gave a raucous round of applause. J basked in the attention and adulation.

"Yes, thank you everyone. Thanks so much! Just doing my part to rid Gotham of costumed vigilantes." Penguin waddled over and greeted the two clowns.

"Joker, Harley welcome! Joker, as our guest of honor tonight you get the finest table in the house! Follow me please."

"Thanks Pengy! It's so nice of you fellas to throw me this swanky shindig. I should kill Batsy more often."

When they arrived at the table there was a bottle of their favorite champagne already uncorked and waiting to be poured as well as an expensive bottle of 50-year aged scotch. A cocktail waitress approached the table to pour their drinks. Harley downed her champagne as quickly as possible. She was going to need a little lubrication if she was going to get through this party without strangling J. She spied Harvey and Pam at a table not too far from their own.

"Pud, I'll be right back. I just want to say hi to Pam."

He was too busy talking with Scarface to even pay her any mind. Ivy could tell right away that Harley was a little out of sorts.

"You okay, my little cabbage?" She rolled her eyes.

"Red, you know I hate it when you call me that."

"That's exactly why I call you that. You don't seem like yourself. Trouble in paradise?" She sat down in the booth next to Pam.

"It's started." Harvey looked at her obviously puzzled.

"What's started, Harley?" he asked.

"Mistah J coming to terms with B-man being gone, and let me tell ya, so far it royally sucks!"

She filled them in on the pranks she had to endure when she had gotten home from Pam's earlier. They both found it highly amusing. Harley looked very put out and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Some moral support you two are. Thanks a lot guys!" Pam tried wiping the smile off of her face.

"Sorry Harls, but I couldn't help but imagine what you must have looked like."

"Well, why don't you ask J to text you the pictures. I'm sure it'll be a real hoot!" She said sarcastically. She stood up from their table. "I better get back to Mistah J before I'm missed. Bye Red, bye Harv."

The rogues and mob bosses all came to their table one by one to greet and thank Joker. He received all kinds of gifts; cash, watches, bottles of expensive liquor, engraved knives among other things. He was obviously enjoying all of the attention. Toasts were made throughout the evening and by the dessert course Joker was definitely drunker than he usually tended to get. He wasn't sloppy, but if he didn't cool it on the booze soon, he would be. Harley leaned over and whispered to him.

"Mistah J, maybe you oughta slow down a little. You don't want me to have to have you carried out of here do you?"

"Oh pipe down, Harley!" he slurred. "This is my party and I'm trying to have a good time!" She shook her head as Dr. Quinzel spoke up.

'He's already self-medicating. You're going to have to keep an eye on that. This could be a one-time occurrence, but he's been known to go off the deep end in this way before for less than Batman's death. I suggest you keep a supply of anti-anxiety medication and anti-psychotics handy for everyone's well-being as he processes the situation.'

The evening wound down with the boys singing a drunken round of 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow' and another round of toasts. J was still on his feet but just barely. He certainly wouldn't be able to walk a straight line but at least she didn't have to get the henchmen in here to carry him out. Pam helped Harley gather up J's gifts as Harvey helped get a very inebriated Joker to the car. Lewis hopped out of the car and opened the rear door to help Harvey.

"Hey there boss man. Have a good time at your party?" Joker gave him a lopsided grin.

"The best Lewis!" Joker clapped Harvey on the shoulder. "Thanks for throwing me such a great bash, buddy!" Harvey answered in his deep baritone.

"It was our pleasure J. Thanks for finally killing Batman. Don't forget about the sit down next week. We need to establish the new status quo and lay out new territorial boundaries before Gotham becomes a free for all and we end up at war." Joker winked.

"Sit down. Next week. Got it." He swayed on his feet and grabbed onto the car door for support. "I think I need to sit down now. Thanks again Harv! Nighty night Pammy!"

Joker practically fell into the backseat.

"Night J. Harley call us if you need us." Said Harvey. Harley winked at them.

"I will. You two crazy kids go have fun now." Pam flushed.

"We'll talk tomorrow Harl." She leaned in and whispered in Ivy's ear.

"We better, I want details." Pam slapped her on the arm.

"Behave."

"Never."

Lewis got Joker's extremities into the car and closed the door as Harley settled in beside her intoxicated boyfriend.

"You okay Mistah J?" He rolled his head in her direction. His eyes were glassy and he smelled like a brewery.

"Couldn't be better Poo. You hear them tonight? They love me!" She smirked to herself and humored him.

"That's right Puddin, and so do I."

"I impressed everyone! I killed the Batman!" He jabbed his thumb into his chest. "Me, the Joker. I was the only one who could do it."

She hid her smile behind her hand. He was rambling and it was actually kind of cute.

"That's right Puddin. I always knew you would."

"Now he's gone and everyone's happy." He went quiet for a few moments and Harley thought he may have fallen asleep until she heard him sniffle.

"Pud? You okay?"

"I'm not happy. Everyone else is happy, but I'm not happy. Clowns are supposed to be happy. I feel like Paglochi… Pagi… Pachi. The sad clown from that stupid opera! That's what I feel like." Harley gazed at her lover and in the glow of the streetlights saw a single tear escape his right eye. "What if he's really gone this time? What am I supposed to do then?" He slurred drunkenly.

"We can systematically kill off his successors. Just a suggestion."

His lids were very heavy, he looked like he was struggling to keep them open. She doubted if he would remember any of this conversation in the morning.

"Where's the fun in that? It won't hurt Batsy because Batsy's gone." His jaw slackened and he stared out the window at the Bat-signal shining from the roof of the GCPD. "Batsy's gone, Harls." She reached over and gave his hand a little squeeze.

"I know Puddin, and I know what he meant to you but he's gone now and you have to come to terms with it sooner or later." He pulled his hand away from her gentle touch.

"No, I don't want to." He whined like a child. "I don't believe it. He's got to come back. He's just got to." He crossed his arms over his chest and slouched into the seat, pouting.

Lewis pulled into the alleyway next to their Ha-hacienda. Harley looked over at Joker. His chin was sagging against his chest, his eyes were closed and he was lightly snoring. She gently shook him by the shoulder.

"Pud? Puddin, you awake?" He snorted and wrinkled his nose but didn't respond. "Lewis, I'm gonna need you to help me get Mistah J to bed."

"No problem Harley. He's taking his Batman thing pretty hard, isn't he?"

Lewis opened the rear door and wrapped his arm under J's armpit and around his back to lift him out of the vehicle. Harley scooted across the back seat to help support J's other side as they removed him from the car.

"Yeah Lewis, he is. He's finally starting to come to terms with it I think."

"Jesus, I didn't realize how heavy the J-man is. Doesn't help that he's all dead weight right now. I've never seen him like this, have you?"

They struggled to get him through the back door and into the building.

"Just once, and it wasn't pretty. It was a long way back, maybe a year or two after we got together. He and Harvey had a falling out and were more or less at war with one another. J doesn't have many friends and for some reason it really affected him. I think this is going to be worse."

They managed to get J into the elevator and up to the fourth floor. They wrangled him into the bedroom and got him onto the bed.

"Thanks for your help Lewis and do me a favor will ya?"

"Just name it."

"Don't mention this to the other guys." He chuckled.

"Do I look suicidal to you, girl? My lips are sealed. You need anything else?" Harley began removing J's shoes as he snored away.

"Nah, I've got this. Have a good night Lewis."

"Later Harley."

Harley managed to get Joker at least partially undressed, covered him with a comforter and left the bedroom to seek out something chocolate. She found an open sleeve of Oreo's, poured a glass of milk and sat at the kitchen table as she mulled over her boyfriend's behavior over the past few days.

He's acting out but at least he's beginning to come to terms with the situation. I need to get him back on Paliperidone as soon as possible which means a trip to the Bowery tomorrow. I better get some Xanax too. I'd rather him be on prescription meds instead of him trying to self-medicate. That was a nightmare last time, especially the cocaine. He's dangerous as all get out on that shit.

She pulled an Oreo from the package and shoved it into her mouth. She chewed once, twice and screamed through a mouthful of half eaten Oreo.

"Fucker!"

She spit the cookie remnants into a napkin then dumped the rest of the package onto the table. She took the chocolate top off of one and sniffed the filling. Joker had removed the frosting from the centers of all of her Oreo's and replaced it with mint toothpaste.

"Is nothing sacred?"

She sighed and thumped her head onto the tabletop. It was going to be a very long week.