Despite Carrigan's fears that a true war was about to start and the mass break outs from Azkaban in January, for the next month nothing seemed to be happening. Voldemort was still lying low, which was too his advantage since the Ministry was still in denial. The Order of the Phoenix was still protecting the Department of Mysteries, even though many of the members didn't know what they were protecting specifically. Dumbledore had forbade me from participating in guarding the Department of Mysteries since the Order was cutting it close to the wire. People who were not employed by the Ministry would lead to even more questions if they were caught sitting outside the department. He also wanted me to heal properly before I went back out to face the fights that were waiting. He suggested that I focus on why a Death Eater tried to kill me.
"Because Voldemort told him too!" I shouted at Dumbledore in anger at the beginning of February when he came to see me at Number Twelve, where Gabriel and I had taken up residency again. "I didn't think it was that big of a secret that my father wants me dead!"
Dumbledore was standing at the opposite end of the kitchen table, near the staircase, looking relatively calm. His hands were folded in front of him, his half moon glasses were sitting on the tip of his nose, and his crystal clear blue eyes were smiling at me.
"Why did he run then? Why didn't he finish the job?"
"Because he was a coward," I suggested. "Why does that matter? If I am fit enough to hunt down the bastard that burnt my house to the ground, then I am most certainly fit enough to guard the department of mysteries—"
"Perhaps he wants you to hunt down that Death Eater for a reason," Gabriel interjected into the conversation from the staircase. He appeared at the bottom of it dressed in jeans and a pullover. He had his coat in hand; he was leaving to go guard the Department of Mysteries for the night.
I crossed my arms tightly over my chest and glared at the two men before me. I flashed back years into my past, when I was younger and both men tried to govern my behavior. I would be damned if the same thing happened this time around. I wasn't young, stupid and irresponsible now.
"No," Gabriel said. "You're just older and more stubborn now then you ever were when you were younger."
"Why do you want me to find him?" I questioned. I turned my glaring eyes away from Gabriel who had easily read my mind. Dumbledore gave me a frank smile.
"I want to know why he burned your house down, but didn't finish the job," Dumbledore said. "I want to make sure that he was actually supposed to kill you and he wasn't there with another agenda."
"What could he possibly have been looking for?" I whispered realizing Dumbledore had a point.
"I do not know," Dumbledore replied. "But, I think it's safe to assume that nothing is what it seems anymore. As Form suggested, there are other villains out there besides your father."
Gabriel raised his eyebrows at Dumbledore. "Do you think there is someone more dangerous then Voldemort out there?"
"I think that good needs evil to exist, and vice versa."
Dumbledore's answer was troubling and deep. I bit my bottom lip and nodded my head, accepting what he wanted me to do. It had not been easy for me the last month. I felt trapped in headquarters, much like Sirius did; and I was terrified that I wasn't safe anywhere. I was putting the Order and everyone I cared about in danger. By the middle of the month, I thought I was going to go crazy from the cabin fever that was starting to set in. I needed to get out of the house; and maybe Dumbledore was right, the best way to use up my energy was to search for the Death Eater that had burned down the brownstone. I just couldn't help thinking that Dumbledore was keeping me out of the Order's business for some reason….
"Well, you should see what your godson has done now," said Sirius throwing down a thick, and rather large, envelope on the table in front of me as Gabriel and I were eating dinner at the beginning of March. I frowned slightly as I picked up the packet from Hogwarts. It was from Carrigan, and had been opened already. It was address to Sirius and I; obviously, he had opened it and read it already.
"What does that mean?" I asked as I pulled out a thick magazine and a letter from Carrigan. My eyes fell immediately on the cover of the magazine, The Quibbler, where Harry's beaming photograph stared back at me. "Oh, Merlin…"
I unfolded Carrigan's letter and read it quickly.
Dear Mum,
In case you haven't seen it yet, I sent you a copy of The Quibbler with Harry's interview concerning what happened last June. Hermione convinced him to give the interview to Rita Skeeter on Valentine's Day during our Hogsmeade visit. It has sparked a great deal of conversation and rumors, just as Hermione hoped it would. Umbridge banned it—that is why I am sending my copy to you…otherwise, I will be expelled.
Read the article. It's quite good. I hope to see you and the rest of the family on Easter. Happy reading!
Carrigan
"Carrigan is a little late getting this news to us," Sirius said matter-of-factly. "The article was published just after Valentine's Day."
"And it's March already. Hermione is a very smart girl," I said as I put down the letter and picked up the magazine. Gabriel picked up the letter from across the table and glanced over it.
"Yes, she is," Sirius nodded as he leaned over my shoulder to read the article. "Especially since Umbridge banned the article, everyone was sure to read it."
I nodded my head as I skimmed the article. Harry didn't hold anything back. The only thing Rita Skeeter censored was the use of Voldemort's name. Harry named the Death Eaters that were in the graveyard the night my father returned; he even describe the connection his and Voldemort's wands had. My name was mentioned in the story, which didn't surprise me. One specific question caught my attention:
Cadence Coleman was present that night but unable to protect you. Do you fear that she is also a Death Eater hiding among us? No, I do not believe Cadence is a Death Eater. She is my godmother and someone that I have personally seen fight against You-Know-Who. I trust her with my life.
"It doesn't matter what I do or what Harry says, people will always think I am supporting my father," I frowned deeply as I looked up at Gabriel across the table. He held out his hand to motion for the magazine. I passed it off to him as Sirius took a seat next to me. He pulled the pot of tea towards him and poured himself a cup. "Do you know if Umbridge punished Harry for the interview?"
"I haven't heard anything yet," Sirius shook his head. "It was brilliant. It gives us an up in the war, helps people see that the Ministry is full of garbage, not Dumbledore or Harry."
"Or, it makes them look crazier," I whispered sadly.
"How could anyone think that?" Sirius insisted. "All they have to do is open their eyes to see what's going on at Hogwarts."
"People see and believe what they want to," Gabriel shrugged. "It's much easier to believe the Dumbledore has a few screws loose and Harry is some attention-starved kid then to believe that Voldemort has returned and the Ministry is lying about it. The Ministry is just telling people what they want to hear."
"Since when was the Ministry's job to tell the people what they want to hear? Aren't they supposed to protect the people!? Isn't that their job?"
"Sirius, I do agree with you. I'm just stating the perspective of the other side," Gabriel said with a half smile. He liked that he was getting under Sirius' skin over an issue that was relatively unimportant. I gave him an ugly look for bully my ex.
"Stop it. Both of you," I said before Sirius could retort. Sirius gave me a grave look before turning away and drinking his tea. I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair. "What you're arguing about is irrelevant. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Someone will always deny Voldemort has returned until he makes his existence public knowledge again."
Gabriel and Sirius both looked grim at my comment. We all fell silent as Gabriel and I continued to eat our dinner and Sirius finished his cup of tea. "Are you guarding the Department of Mysteries tonight?" he asked Gabriel to break the silence.
"Nope, Tonks has it tonight," Gabriel looked at me with a smile. "I'm happy to be home tonight."
"It's been the first night in awhile," I said as I met his stare across the table.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "I don't need to hear what you two are doing tonight."
I looked at Sirius quickly. "What? I'm going out tonight. I have work to do."
"What?" Gabriel and Sirius both questioned at the same time. I looked between them with a matter-of-fact expression on my face.
"I haven't found anything about that Death Eater that burnt down the brownstone, so I think I'm just going to go out…" my voice trailed off for a moment.
"Hunting?" Sirius said with distain.
"Patrolling," I corrected.
"Sure," Sirius said sarcastically as he stood up form the table. "If that's what you want to call it."
I stuck my tongue out at Sirius as he walked away. He disappeared up the basement staircase, no doubt to go to his room and wallow with Buckbeak. Silence fell in the kitchen, which allowed me to relax for a moment. I sat back in my chair and looked straight at Gabriel.
"Do you mind if I go with you?"
I paused as I studied him. I opened my mind to his in an attempt to use Legilimency on him. I wanted to know why he wanted to come with me. Was he being over-protective or did he actually want to get out of the house?
"I just want to spend time with you, Cadence," he said with a stubborn smile on his handsome lips. "I was hoping I could convince you to take the night off as well…"
"Well, Dumbledore really wants me to find this Death Eater."
"Don't you want to find him?" There was a curious and edgy tone to Gabriel's voice that caused my eyes to flicker with a warning. I didn't want to get into a fight with Gabriel. That seemed to be the only thing I did with anyone anymore. Gabriel and I had been fighting about the Death Eater that had attacked me, Sirius and I were fighting like we always did, Remus and I were fighting because of our different perspective regarding the protection of the Department of Mysteries…obviously, I had a problem getting a long with other people.
"I do," I said very slowly as I played with the food on the plate in front of me. I stabbed at the last of my chicken violently. I sighed with frustration at the all-knowing look Gabriel was giving me with his dark eyes. I dropped my fork on the plate and leaned back in my chair. "Just say it."
"Say what?"
"Whatever it is that you are dying to," I snipped. "I know you Gabriel. I can read you without Legilimency and I know when you're upset about my behavior. So, just spill already. Let's get it over with so we can stop fighting."
"I'm not the one who is fighting," Gabriel responded. "You are the one who is fighting everyone about everything."
"Of course, I am," I shook my head and looked down. "I'm always the problem."
Gabriel sighed as he placed his napkin on the table next to his plate. "Do you mind if I go with you or not?"
"Do whatever you want," I said standing up from the table quickly. I pushed my chair in and left the basement without another word. Gabriel didn't say anything to me either. I was thankful for the quiet I found in the rest of the house as I walked up to the second floor.
In our bedroom, I sat on the bed, thinking about what had just happened. Why was I so defensive all the time now? Why was I so on edge and irritable? I was alone for only a few minutes. Gabriel came into the room and closed the door tightly. Without a word, he took off his shirt and went to the wardrobe where he rummaged for a new shirt. I followed his naked body with my green eyes. Everything about Gabriel was fantastic; his muscles, eyes, hair, lips, tattoos, sarcasm, love, affection…everything. I frowned as I bit my bottom lip while I watched him dress.
"I'm scared," I said abruptly.
Gabriel stopped messing with the buttons of the new shirt he had put on and turned to face me. Curiosity was spread across his face. He didn't seem to understand why I would be afraid of anything.
"I'm scared that there is something worse then my father out there and that after we finish fighting him we will have to keep fighting to stay alive. I'm scared of having to fight. I'm scared that we'll never just get to live…" My voice trailed off as I looked at the wooden floor boards.
The floor creaked as Gabriel moved towards me. I looked up as he sat down next to me. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed my forehead before resting his chin on my head.
"It's okay to be afraid," he said strongly. "We are all afraid. But you can't let that fear rule you. Use it to fight."
I didn't say anything as he held me. I couldn't think of what to say because I wasn't sure if I believed him. Sure, it was okay to be afraid because we all were, but I wasn't sure if I could use it to motivate my desire to fight. I was tired of it all—the war, my father, his Death Eaters. I was tired of living in fear. I was tired of my daughter living on the run.
"We have to end this," I said strongly as I pulled out of Gabriel's arms. "Come on. We have to get out there and end this."
Gabriel gave me a broad smile as I stood before him. He stood up and squeezed my hands before kissing me deeply on the lips.
"Let's go catch some Death Eaters," he grinned before spanking me playfully and moving away. I couldn't help but smile despite the desperately terrified feelings deep within me. Gabriel finished dressing and left the room without another word. I sighed and dashed to the wardrobe to quickly change so that he didn't leave without me.