A/N: Hello, all you wonderful people who are still reading this despite my tendency to leave you hanging for INSANELY long periods of time. Sorry about that. I'll try to be better. But, lo and behold, an update! Good things come to those who wait, apparently. Well, hopefully it's a good thing. I guess you'll have to judge that for yourself.

He took his coffee in long, slow gulps as she read. He didn't want to watch her. Didn't want to see how she reacted to what he remembered of that night. Didn't want to register the changes in her face as her mind filled in the few gaps with information that he didn't know. He didn't look up until his coffee was gone. She put down the notebook as he put down the mug.

Their eyes met, and her lips curved up very slightly. But it wasn't a happy smile. It was more sympathetic. "You didn't do anything wrong," she assured him in a soft voice.

"I didn't really do anything right, either," he whispered.

"Do you really think I'd be here with you right now if I blamed you for anything that happened that night? I know that it was hard for you. You did what you thought was best, and that's all I can ask for. Maybe you did save my life. It wouldn't be the first time."

He frowned into his coffee, trying to believe her. The silence was heavy. Loaded. Waiting to be broken.

Kate was the one who finally pierced it. "We've been in these kinds of situations before, Castle," she said gently. "It's never affected you like this. If you want to walk away…"

That got his attention. He looked straight up from his coffee and into her eyes, meeting them defiantly. "No. We're in this together. I'm not going anywhere."

"But it's over. We're not in anything."

He sighed. "You know what I mean."

"No, I don't know if I do. I don't even know if you do. This hearing… we don't have to relive all of this. It already happened. We were there. We both were. And I'm grateful that you want to help me, I really am, but I wonder if we wouldn't both sleep better if we just let everything come out at the hearing. It's not like we have to practice our speeches… they've already been written."

"But we want to be prepared. We want you to have the best chance possible to get your badge back."

She shrugged. "It's not up to us, though. I know you want to believe that it is, but it isn't."

"But what if—"

"What if what?" The question interrupted its own answer. "What if I lose? What if I'm not allowed to be a cop anymore? Would that be the worst thing in the world? For years, I thought it would. That losing my badge would send me into some kind of an…" she shrugged, as if she was searching for the right words, but he had a feeling they were already on the tip of her tongue, "…identity crisis, or something. But this past week has been fine. No, more than fine. Refreshing. Do you know how long it's been since I've had a break? Not just a day off, but an actual break, with no cases to think about, without Ryan or Esposito calling with new information, without the thought of all the paperwork I'd have to catch up on when I got back?"

He studied her, almost expecting to find some flaw; some clue that the woman sitting across from him wasn't really Beckett at all, but an extremely realistic Beckett impostor. Maybe sent by IA to convince him to stop trying. But if there was one thing he knew, it was his detective's face, and every feature, freckle, and crease was exactly where it had always been. "Are you saying you don't want to go back?"

"No," she said automatically, but then she shrugged. "I don't know. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that… whatever happens happens. Either way… I'll be okay. And I think it might be a better use of our time to spend the five days left before the hearing relaxing a little and getting our bearings back than trying to relive that night and stressing ourselves out."

He couldn't make himself get comfortable with that idea, and he was surprised that she could. It felt too much like giving up. "Kate… if we get through the hearing and you win, you know you won't have to go back to the force."

She nodded, a tiny smile forming on her lips. "But you know that I will."

He returned the smile, and realized that it was the first time that morning his face had hosted that particular expression. He did know. "I have no problem with the idea of your not being a cop," he told her. "But I do have a problem with the idea of your being forced to leave against your will. If you leave, it should be your choice."

"But I'm not going to choose to leave, Castle. You know I wouldn't do that. And I'm not going to give up, either. Of course I'll do whatever I can to win at the hearing. But one of the first things I learned in therapy after my mother's death is that nothing good comes from dwelling on the past. And that's exactly what we've been doing."

"So… what do you want to do?"

"What we were doing a couple of days ago. Just… relaxing. Having fun."

He thought about that as he sipped his coffee. Now that there was less than a week left before the hearing, it would feel like they were avoiding reality. And they would be. But she was right. They both knew what had happened in that alley. He knew what he'd seen, and she knew what she'd done. And it wasn't as if they were planning to lie, or even to re-organize the facts in some misleading way. He'd just wanted to make sure they could present them as professionally as possible. But really… how much would that matter? If Beckett—if either of them—fell apart during their retelling, the other one would be there to help pick up the pieces, just as they were here. The only difference was that here, they were alone. At the hearing, they wouldn't be. He had no idea whether the judge would treat emotion with sympathy or view it as a sign of weakness. But Kate was right… that was out of his control. Maybe she was right about everything else, too. Maybe they would be better off to take a few days to rest and regroup.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" he finally asked.

She nodded slowly. "I'm sure."

"Then we'll try it." All we have to lose, his internal monologue filled in, is everything.

But even as he thought it, he knew that it wasn't true. Not everything, no. Even Kate was beginning to realize that. Her job was just one aspect of her life… and his. But just because it was what had brought them together didn't mean it had to be the glue that kept them that way. Weren't they here now, away from the precinct, without any cases, and closer than ever?

If she went back to her job, he'd rejoin her as her partner, and nothing would change. If she didn't, he, as promised, would do whatever he could to help her figure out what she was going to do. In either situation, he knew his role. And he was beginning to think that she was right. Whichever way the hearing went, it would be okay.

The next few days melded together in a haze of water and sun. The weather actually held up, the early-summer Hamptons sun shining brighter and more persistently than it had since they'd arrived. As for everything else… it seemed to follow suit. The days were full of sand and surf and lighthearted chit-chat. And during the night… well, they slept.

He didn't have any more nightmares, and the night that they'd ended up in the same bed was never mentioned again. But he woke each morning without really feeling rested, like he could use at least another couple of hours, but knowing that he'd never be able to fall back to sleep.

Kate was the same. She didn't say anything, but he could see it in her face. The shadows under her eyes. The way she reached for her coffee each morning, like it was the only thing keeping her going, and the increased frequency of the second cup in the afternoon. The way she smiled and joked – forced, but trying to be careful not to let him see that it was.

The hearing was drawing closer each day, and no matter what either one of them said, it was important. The closer it came, the faster the time seemed to go, the gravity produced by the enormity of the event drawing them toward it. He decided to respect her wishes and didn't bring it up, but he was having difficulty ignoring its closeness, and he had a feeling that she was too.

It wasn't until Saturday – the day before they were to head back to the city – that things began to change again. He found her in the kitchen making coffee – the third pot to be made that day. He was tempted to try to force her to talk, but instead just leaned against the counter casually. "How's it going?"

It would've been very easy for her to - not lie, exactly, but to avoid the question he'd been trying to ask with a simple "good" or "fine." But she didn't. She pushed the filter into the coffee maker and started it, and then turned, sighing, to meet his eyes. "It's the day after tomorrow, Castle."

He nodded, all too aware of that fact. "I know." He watched the coffee pot brew for a moment, finding it more fascinating than he ever had before. "Think you're ready?" he finally asked.

She shrugged. "I don't think I'll ever be ready. But it doesn't matter, does it?"

She did have a point. No matter what happened, how prepared or unprepared she was, the hearing was on Monday. By Monday night, her fate would be decided. Maybe altered. Maybe not. In some ways, there was nothing they could do. Part of him wished he could stop the clock for her, just stay here forever with nothing ever changing, nothing ever happening. But he knew that, ultimately, that wouldn't help her. The problem was that he wasn't sure what would.

"Of course it matters," he said. "It just doesn't... change anything. Sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

"I know it's not, I just... I wish there was more I could do." Maybe, he realized, that was why he'd been so determined to relive the whole experience with her. Not because it would necessarily help, but because at least it would feel like he was doing something.

"You've done plenty."

He couldn't believe that, but he nodded anyway.

"Tomorrow... it'll be weird to be back in the city. You're looking forward to seeing Alexis, I'm sure."

He automatically smiled at the mention of his daughter and nodded. "Yeah, of course. It's always a little strange going this long without seeing her. But I guess it's something I'll need to get used to when she starts college."

She nodded. "You will. In time. I'm sorry that I kept you from her for this long."

He smiled and echoed her earlier rebuff. "Don't be. This has been great, for the most part. I've enjoyed it. And I hope you have too."

"Yeah," she mumbled, watching as the last few drops of coffee dribbled into the pot.

He frowned. She was distracted, and he was sure it wasn't by the coffee, but he couldn't help feeling a little hurt by her lack of sincerity. "As long as you're sure..."

She tore her eyes away from the coffee pot and forced a smile. She was getting good. He almost believed it. Almost. "I really have. These two weeks have been great. I'm unbelievably touched that you would take so much time away from your life for me."

If nothing else, he was sure that the last part was genuine. "No sweat. So... what now?"

"Now... I don't know."

"It's our last night here, I feel like we should do something to commemorate it."

"Like what?"

"Like... I don't know." He truly didn't have anything in mind, which was unusual for him. Maybe it was the specter of the hearing hovering over his head, throwing him off his game. Whatever it was, he was out of ideas.

"The weather's nice, you wanna do another campfire?"

He smiled, wondering why they hadn't repeated that since the first night they'd had one. "Absolutely. We'll make it a bonfire. S'mores, hot dogs, mountain pies, the whole deal."

Her smile now was a lot less forced. It might even have been real. "Sounds like fun."

A/N: Kind of a filler chapter, I know, but it needed to happen. And finally the end is actually in sight. :) Well, my sight. I WILL finish this story eventually. It's going to happen. Trust me. It will. And hopefully sometime in this calendar year. :P I'm kidding. Sort of.

Reviews are always very much appreciated. :)