Authors note: general disclaimer, I don't own any characters or anything to do with batman (I wish!)

Italics are character thoughts.

Any feedback is much appreciated x

A delighted shriek and maniacal laugh swirled around with the dust and smoke. The chilling noise made Ivy's babies shrivel and shake. The colour drained from Harley's face and Batman gave a roar as he began struggling against his ties again.

The tall spindly figure skipped through the chaos tossing a round object up into the air before catching it again. "Well, well, well isn't this a pretty sight?!" The grin was so wide and red it looked like a slash across his pale white face.

"M-m-m-Mistah J?" The horror that laced those words sent shivers down Icy's spine.

"Hello Pumpkin." The reply was deep, mocking and sinister. He looked up to see Batman struggling furiously and he saluted him "Bat-baby! How's it hanging?" He laughed hysterically at his own joke whilst making his way to Ivy's monster in the centre of the room. "I don't believe we've met" he reached out to touch the bud when a cold harsh voice stilled his movements.

Despite Harley trying to hold her back Ivy lowered herself down and sneered at him. "Don't you dare touch him Clown."

The Joker span to face her with delight "Ooh look it's the talking houseplant! Loove what you've done with the place!"

"You're not welcome here." Ivy made her way over to him and placed a soothing hand on her baby.

"What?! You're having a private party and I'm not invited?!" Joker pouted at her and then grinned viciously "But I did get an invite didn't I?" He looked up into the pale blue petrified eyes.

Harley wanted to get Red away from him. She knew him too well and she could see the lack of amusement in his eyes, Mistah J wasn't a happy go lucky guy at the best of times, but when he didn't find something funny...you'd better run.

As Ivy turned to follow his gaze he saw the change in her expression, saw the softness that lay under her disgusting green exterior. Well well, looks like I did interrupt a private party. He called out behind him "Boys?" Tweedledum and Tweedledee bumbled out from behind him, guns in hand. The Joker gestured up to Harley "Go rescue Harley won't you?" The two men looked at one another grinned and then opened fire on the vines holding Harley upside down.

Ivy screamed and doubled over in pain as her babies were destroyed.

"No!" Harley screamed just before the vines lost their grip and she plummeted to the floor.

The Joker danced around revelling in the mayhem and took a few steps back before tossing the round object in his hand again. He ran forward toward the bud, leapt in the air and lobbed the object into the open jaws of the monster. "Slam dunk!" He laughed to himself and danced away spiritedly.

Harley tried to pick herself up off the floor to get to Red but the wind had been severely knocked out of her. "R-Red..."

Ivy tried to straighten up, using the side of her baby to hold her weight, she looked over at Harley and opened her mouth to say something when she was interrupted.

"Always remember to compost folks!" With that the Joker pressed a button on a remote and before Ivy could move the monster exploded.

The scream that was ripped from Harley was heartbreaking. The Dark Knight closed his eyes and shook his head, he heard a small sob from Selina next to him and began trying to formulate a plan.

The Joker skipped over to Harley and pulled her up by her hair, she squealed in pain "So! Did you miss me?!" He snarled at her as she struggled to contain her sobs.

"Y-yes Mistah J..." He eyed her suspiciously and she realised her error "P-P-Puddin'" She tried to wear an expression of nonchalance. He smiled cruelly and leaned in so close his putrid breath permeated her senses. How have I been so blind for so long? She glanced to the side to see if she could see Red anywhere.

He grabbed her face painfully hard and forced her to look at him and smiled widely "What's wrong Pumpkin? Don't you love your Puddin' anymore?"

She tried to smile through her tears and the pain "Of course I do Puddin'"

"Atta girl!" He dug his nails into the sides of her face as he forced a foul kiss on her lips. As he pulled back her eyes grew wide in terror.

Oh boy...I don't think I've ever seen Mistah J this angry before...