Chapter Fifteen: Emptiness
"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness."
~ Desmond Tutu
The night was colder than it had been all week and the cold breeze that settled over Storybrooke was just above freezing. Many people were curled up in their beds or in front of a fire, holding a hot cup of soup or hot chocolate. The warmth of family and friends surrounded the content residents of Storybrooke, even if they were under a cursed existence. They were happy to be inside and out of the cold, in the arms of those who cared for them.
All except one who sat on top of the largest home in the town. He stood out in the slight wind and breathed in the dark and cold of the night.
"What are you doing up here on a damned night like this?" Hook asked as he climbed to the roof from one of the smaller staircases.
"It's my element, remember?" Chernabog smirked and stretched out his shoulders. Soon his jacket unfurled and he let his wings spread out into the night air, "I needed to stretch my wings. This human form is becoming a bit restrictive."
"Who knows, maybe we will get more of a response if you were in your true form," Hook said and looked out over what city lights they could see over the hedges.
"Hm, maybe," Chernabog nodded and then looked down at Hook's flesh hand and saw it spotted with blood, "How is the traitor?"
Hook shook his head, "Doesn't trust anyone or anything, but he will heal. I made sure that wounds would stay visible for whenever his papa comes back around."
"I am sure that we will be seeing him soon enough," Chernabog nodded, "Rumplestiltskin could never stay away for too long. Besides, the chance for vengeance is too tempting to ignore."
"You sound so sure," Hook narrowed his eyes.
"I am about to push his heart over the edge," he closed his eyes and concentrated. His wings shifted on either side of him and he smirked a little.
"What are you doing?"
"Time to finish the job…" Chernabog said matter-of-factly and brought his hands together. As he concentrated a small, dark ball of images began to form between his hands. As the minutes passed, the ball grew and shrunk as it filled with what looked like nightmares. After it stopped shifting in size Chernabog opened his eyes and looked at what he made with a satisfied smirk.
"What is it?" Hook asked cautiously.
"The only things that Belle will ever remember. The monster behind the man and every horrible memory she tried to bury. Recollections of fires, and scourges… beatings and refusals… and a monster that is only a monster," Chernabog turned to Hook with a cruel smile, "We can't just leave her a blank slate, can we?"
Hook's face lifted a little at that and nodded, "When she remembers that?"
"We can always help her, can't we?" Chernabog nodded and looked back at the ball, "Maybe not all was lost."
Chernabog laughed a little as he slammed his hands together in a loud thunder clap and sent the ball of forgotten, beastly nightmares of the past back to the sleeping beauty.
Ruby sat with her head cradled in her arms as she read a passage out loud from "Pride and Prejudice" as Belle had moved on from Charlotte Bronte to Jane Austen in the last few days. The book was sitting on the small table, forgotten next to the now soiled burgers. Ruby wasn't much for the classic texts, but Belle seemed to eat them up and Ruby thought that maybe the familiar words would spark something. It had only been fifteen minutes since Gold left and she needed to do something other than just stare at her friend.
"'If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I would have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love... I love... I love you. And I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.'… wow," Ruby whispered as she finished the sentence, "No wonder you love these. I really need to come by the library more often."
Another beep sounded from the monitor on the other side of the bed. Ruby knew enough to know it wasn't the heart monitor which had its own separate screen and looked up to see the other machine. I showed some kind of pattern and she saw that the more recent peaks were closer together than the ones preceding them. She put the book down and looked at Belle and then the machine again.
"How's she doing?" a voice entered the room and Ruby half expected it to be Gold, but instantly recognized it as Archie. He came in with his trusty umbrella in his hand. She looked confused and he smiled, "I am helping out the head nurse about her house dilemma. She used to live in a shoe."
Ruby nodded in understanding and chuckled lightly, "Hasn't woke up. Isn't that right, stubborn girl?"
Another beep sounded out into the room and both she and Archie looked at the machine again. Archie put his umbrella down and looked at the machine and the small computer that recorded the changes. He looked at the monitor and scanned the information back.
"How often has it been beeping like that, Red?"
"Um, let's see… once when Gold stepped out and just a couple of minutes ago before you came in. Why?"
"They're getting closer together," he smiled and looked at Ruby, "Her brain is speeding up."
Ruby smiled hesitantly and looked back down at her friend, "Belle?"
The machine beeped again.
Ruby's heart jumped to her throat and a smile bloomed on her face, "That's it, honey. Come on back."
Then as her heart raced, so did Belle's. Her face contorted into a frown and her head began to rock back and forth. Her under used voice croaked out moans and soon quiet screams. Ruby jumped back as the monitor for her brain activity began to beep uncontrollably. She looked at Archie with wide eyes and then raced to the door.
"We need help in here! Please!"
A nurse and a just on duty Doctor Whale rushed into the room and pushed the two of the visitors into the corner. Two nurses began to restrain Belle's arms and head as Whale began to examine her.
"What happened?"
"Her monitor for brain function began beeping more often and then her heart monitor went crazy and then the other monitor went crazy!" Ruby said and pushed her hand out toward Belle, "What's going on?"
"I don't know," Whale whispered more to himself than to her, but Ruby heard it.
Belle screamed out fully for the first time since she fell asleep.
"Help her!" Ruby yelled and Archie held her in his arms to keep her from lunging out at Whale.
Whale looked at the nurses and then nearly helplessly at the girl in front of him.
"I love you… please forgive me."
She was somewhere dark… somewhere dark and cramped. The thin cushion under her didn't cushion at all, just barely protecting her from the majority of the cold stone under it. Her bare feet felt cold under her thin hospital shift. At least, she thought it was from a hospital. The room was small and had very little light, dingy windows barely letting the sun blur through.
Whispers of words bounced off the walls and halls past her locked door. Or they were another trick of her mind and only bounced around in her own head. They were too muffled to understand anyway. They had sounded pleasant though and she let herself try and listen even if it was in her own head. Every so often she could hear some clearly. They soon drifted off and silence captivated her again.
She closed her eyes against the despairing feeling in her stomach. She felt like she had been in the small hole for years… for forever. But that couldn't be. She had to have had a life.
"You had a life before this…"
She opened her eyes at the new voice and looked around the small room. No one was there, just like before. It was just the echo of a strange voice that haunted her from the back of her mind; buried just out of her ability to recognize it.
"Gazing out into the distance again, dear?" a female voice called from the door through the small slot.
"Dearie…"
She never answered the woman that looked in at her. She felt that only horror would result. The small slot closed and the door opened. It was dark on the other side, though she knew that the lady had some kind of light behind her so she couldn't see her face. Three men came into the small space and grabbed her by the arms roughly before she could process their appearance.
This wasn't right… she wasn't supposed to leave. She has never left before. The small cell was all she ever knew.
The men pulled her into a room made of stone and set her in the middle where there was a pit of sand. She fell to her hands and looked up at the three men around her. Each of them had a different implement in their hands. One a hot iron poker, another had a large whip and the other chains. She looked from one to another and her heart leapt in bounds.
The poker, instantly hot pierced the skin of her side and easily melted her thin shit to what was left. She screamed quietly by biting her lip, her voice barely recognizable. Then came the whip, heavy on her back and she felt the welts open and blood openly flow down to the sand below her. She then allowed herself to scream fully into the room. The chains wrapped around her arms and wrists as she lifted to her weak feet.
Another lash across her back made her jerk and the poker was pushed into the top of one of the lashes. Tears began to flow down her cheeks and she thrashed against the pain.
She turned her head and screamed at one of the men in front of her who now held a knife instead of the chains, "Why? Why are you doing this?"
He yelled back at her, "The beast! Cleansing of the beast!"
He lashed out and cut the side of her face with the blade and she turned her head away.
"I am no beast!"
"But he has soiled you," another from behind her said before another lash of the whip.
Her mind jumped into overdrive as she tried to understand. A beast? Soiled? She didn't have that life, she knew that she didn't. She couldn't have…
"The monster must be bled out of you!" the one with the poker said and prodded her side again.
"Monster?!" she screamed and something flashed back in her mind. Something small… a flittering of her heart and something warm that settled in her ribcage. Her own voice floated through her mind.
"You're not a monster…"
"Release the innocent, you fiend!" the whip came down, "You devil!" Another strike. "You monster!"
"He is not a monster!" she screamed out and a sudden burst of light surrounded her and pushed the three men back and into the stone walls.
She kept her eyes open during the light; though bright it didn't trouble her. It felt like it was part of her. She pushed harder and the light burst the stone walls out and took the clerics with them. Her hands dropped from above her and into her lap. She couldn't lift her arms even though they were free of the chains. Soon the light faded and she was surrounded by darkness- just full and complete darkness in all directions. A faint glow around her was the only light.
There was shuffling around her and she kept her eyes trained toward the sound. Soon enough she saw a glint of something just off of a gold color. It blended in and out of the shadows around her. She felt her heart pound in her chest.
"Who…" she whispered out and the shuffling stopped and headed toward her light.
There a man stood, but not a man. His clothing was strange and yet fit him. His skin mixed with gold and his teeth menacing. He lifted his cold eyes toward her and she felt a shiver race down her back. She knew that kind of look- indifference mixed with malice. He sneered at her broken on the ground.
"You can't escape the monsters, dearie," he snapped at her on the ground, "We are everywhere. Ready to take precious, pure souls like yours."
"Dearie…" she repeated and looked down, her eyes half lidded. Another voice that was nearly the same, but different, came to the forefront of her mind.
"It's forever, dearie…"
"Don't patronize me!" the one in front of her reached down and pulled her up to her feet by her chin. He still stared her down, "I will use my magic to skin you slowly as your precious blood flows over my marble floors. Or I should drink it with my meal like the true monster I am."
"Despite what you think, I'm still a monster…"
"No…" she whispered and shook her head and other memories bombarded her mind. She reached up and toward him. She placed a hand on the side of his face and he slapped the hand away and took a step back.
"You are trying your luck!" he roared and began to pace around her.
She looked at her hands and saw the blood from the clerics began to drip away and her hands became clean again. She tilted her head and tried to make sense of it. Her eyes closed again even as she heard him around her. Flashes, brilliant flashes of dropping curtains, strong arms, spinning wheels and tea sets filled her vision. She opened her eyes and it seemed just a little brighter and he had stepped back.
"You can't defeat me by mere light."
"You were saying that you were afraid of him taking the last of your light. Then let me be that light. Let me be that for you."
That was her voice again. She had spoken those words.
She felt something slip into her hand and found a small, delicate white and blue tea cup. The edge of it was chipped and she smiled to herself.
"It's my chipped cup," she said to herself and her smile fell. She felt over the rim and looked up at the shadow man, "… our cup."
"…only thing I truly cherish…"
"Put that away! Throw it out!" the shadow raged as she tried to come closer, "It is just a cup!"
"No, it's more than that, or you would not have kept it," she said in a more definite tone. The darkness began to diminish and he couldn't outrun it. She stepped closer and narrowed her eyes to the man in front of her, because she was surer now that is what he was. A man, trapped as a beast.
He shook his head, but stood still as she stepped right in front of him, "I wouldn't test me, woman."
"You won't hurt me," she shook her head.
"What makes you so sure?" he asked showing his sharpened teeth.
"Because you promised me…" she paused and smiled slightly, "Because you love me."
"My power means more to me than you," he sneered down at her and she found it so familiar. He was part of her past and if that feeling her chest was any indication, he was the path to her future.
"No," she shook her head and put her hand on one side of his face. She saw his eyes slide closed in resignation. She put her face toward his and touched their foreheads to one another. She tried to look into his eyes, but he kept them shut and she smiled sadly, "… you could have happiness. If you only believed. Please… Please believe this time."
She heard him gasp as she closed her eyes and leaned up to touch her lips to his. Her hand pushed back into his hair as his arms encircled her waist. It lasted only a moment and when she thought he would push her away she heard his voice, deeper and with more emotion. More humanity.
"Oh sweetheart," he whispered and brushed her hair back from her face, "… my dear, Belle."
"Belle… Brave, brave Belle … I don't deserve you… I love you, Belle…"
Belle opened her eyes and smiled up at the face of the man that she loved.
"Come back to me, Belle," he said and began to fade from her arms.
"I always do," she reassured him before he disappeared completely. The light that glowed from her only intensified and she closed her eyes to soak in the warmth as it pushed back the last of the darkness.
"She's stable again," Whale let out a breath as the nurses filed back out of the room.
"Is she going to be okay?" Ruby asked, still in Archie's arms.
"Only time will tell for sure," Whale nodded in answer and looked back at the patient.
"What happened?" Archie asked.
"It's strange," Whale shrugged and looked down at a clip board that he just finished writing on, "No real activity and then… it's like her mind kicked into full activity. From her readings, I would say it was quite a nightmare."
"Nightmare?" Ruby asked and frowned. She left Archie's arms and went back to her friend's bed side.
"She calmed down," Archie pointed out, "What did you do?"
"Nothing," Whale shook his head, "She fought it on her own. Whatever peace she found, she achieved it without me."
Archie looked past him and Whale shuffled past the psychiatrist to check with another nurse. He walked into the room and put a hand on Ruby's shoulder, "She's strong, Red."
"I know," Ruby held one of Belle's hands to her face. She noticed that the brain monitor was muted as peaks danced over the monitor.
"Mmmm," Belle moaned and her eyes scrunched as if she was fighting consciousness.
"Belle?" a voice called from the doorway.
Ruby and Archie turned to find Rumplestiltskin in a clean suit, but looking none the less ragged. He pushed himself to her other side and put his hand gently along her jaw. Her face teetered between content and struggled. She wanted to wake up, but looked like she needed a way to come back. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against her lips just as he had before he left an hour ago. As he leaned back, he touched his forehead to hers, "Come back to me, Belle."
As soon as his fingers left her face her eyes fluttered open and strained to adjust to the lights of the hospital room.
"Wha…" she asked as her voice was hoarse, "Where am I?"
"The hospital, Belle," Ruby said quickly as it looked like Rumplestiltskin was too preoccupied in trying to breath, "How are you feeling, Belle? Do you want something to eat, Belle?"
"Why are you saying my name so much?" she asked and put a hand to her head.
"She remembers her name!" Ruby squealed and looked up at Archie who smiled.
"Belle?" Rumplestiltskin called out softly.
She turned her head to him and narrowed her eyes as if trying to place him. His eyes showed how scared and unsure he was. She knew then that she could undo him with a single question, a single word. Instead, she said the one thing that could save him.
"Rumplestiltskin," she smiled and he saw the breath he was holding escape, "You think that a little curse would keep me from you? I promised forever."
The most powerful magic wielder in either world, the richest and most dangerous man in all of Storybrooke was suddenly reduced to a mere mortal, human man. He hugged her tight to him as he buried his face into her hair as her hands came around him and patted his hair and rubbed his back. Her soft voice reassuring, soothing, strong, alive… and so, so Belle.
"I missed you," he said into her ear.