Chapter 11: Her Boss No More

"I must say, when you called me two months ago I was rather surprised about your request. And I was even more baffled when I agreed to it," Sara's icy voice broke through the silence.

"Your services didn't come without a price," Kaname commented dryly.

"True. What kind of woman would I be if my services didn't come with a price? But… I think you'll be rather surprised by my demand when I decide to collect my prize." She snickered, a pleased expression on her face.

"I'm sure it'll cost me. What do you want? Company shares? Monetary compensation? Jewelry? The lost treasures of Atlantis?"

"Hah!" Sara laughed mockingly. "You underestimate me. No, my price can't be measured…" She smiled secretively. "But tell me this – is it working?"

"I don't know," he mumbled, looking down at his food and picking on it. His appetite was as good as gone these days, and he did nothing to regain it. All food tasted bland.

"Well…" Sara's eyes narrowed as she studied Kaname. "Is she worth it?"

"How can you–"

"I can ask that question because unlike you, I see the effect she's had on you and it's not good. You barely eat and you sulk every minute of the day like some lovesick puppy. I have known you for a long time, Kaname – you are the CEO of Kuran Inc. and you've faced dozens of obstacles before and navigated through them successfully. But then you fall in love with your secretary and she breaks your heart, and suddenly you're reduced to this?" She threw her napkin on the table, huffing. "Have some self-respect!"

"Almost sounds like you care about me, Sara," he smirked, unable to acknowledge the truth in her words verbally.

"I do care, you moron. I've known you for too long now. Sure – I wanted to marry you, but that was only because I needed to marry you. But now, things are better with my parents and I've been able to prove myself in other ways. And let's face it; our marriage would be a disaster. Ha!" She laughed lightly. "I remember once upon a time offering Yuuki the option to have an affair with you while we were married – even carrying an heir for us should your salacious affair produce one."

"You're crazy," his eyes widened almost comically as he dropped his chopsticks in his bowl. "You did not say that to her, did you?"

"I did! And who are you calling crazy? She's the crazy one here."

"How so?" Kaname inquired, genuinely interested in the wild blonde's observations.

"I ask you again – is she really worth it? All the heartache and the pain you're putting yourself through – our fake engagement? It's been such a long time and she still hasn't come around – she keeps hurting you and running away like some frightened child. Look, if it was I, and I'd found out that you'd paid for my apartment and stuff I would've been delighted. I'd thank you from the bottom of my heart for making my miserable life a tad bit easier. And the way you've been treating her generally – giving her free time, covering some expenses for her, putting no pressure on her – should be enough to warrant a better treatment from her; and yet, she still hides behind her mask and hurts you; quits her job as soon as things get difficult. Is she really worth it?"

"She's…" Kaname hesitated. "Independent and stubborn. Her point of view on this matter is completely different. Even so, she's worth it."

"Independent? Sure. But does that give her the right to be so selfish and mean to you? Why couldn't she just say "that wasn't okay, but I see that you came from a good place so I forgive you" instead of raising her nose at you and handing in her resignation?"

Kaname chuckled. "Seems like there is some sense in your head after all, blondie," he smirked. "I never would've thought so – quite unexpected to be honest, but I'm impressed. Hey, after this whole marriage sham is over and you get to collect your blood diamond price from me, let's be friends, ne?"

Sara grinned, delighted as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Unexpected, huh? It's because I like to keep my cards close to my chest. Perhaps that's a habit your secretary has picked up as well? Dig deeper, Kaname, and I'm sure you'll find answers. As for our friendship… well, I think it's a good idea especially when I claim my price." Her eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Good grief," Kaname sighed, "I have a feeling your demand will take all I have."

"Just wait and see," she smirked.

Amused by their banter, Kaname glanced at his watch quickly. "Ah, seems like it's time to leave. Hold my hand, friend?"

"Sure thing," Sara nodded, lacing hers with his. They exited the restaurant and rode the limo to his building, waiting until the elevator doors were about to open at the 105th floor to clasp their hands together again.

As the doors pushed aside, Sara began giggling loudly. "Oh, Kaname!" She slapped his arm lightly as they headed towards his office. "Save those comments for the wedding night, you tiger!"

Kaname chuckled, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Ah… Three or four more days to go? Everything blurs together these days…"

They stopped outside his door, both mindful of the brunette secretary who was trying her best to tear her eyes away from them as she sat behind her desk.

"Mhhm…" Sara reached up on her tip-toes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "See you soon, dear," she batted her eyelashes at him, casting a sly glance at Yuuki before turning and exiting.

He waved her goodbye and turned towards the door, grasping the handle.

"Ka… Kaname." Her voice was weak as she hesitated.

"What is it?" He turned coldly towards her, regarding her with stoic eyes.

Yuuki stood up from her seat and placed some papers on her desk. "T-the documents you requested are here."

"And?"

"A-and?" She stuttered.

"What do you expect? Do you want me to just pick it up? I'm your boss – hand them to me personally like a decent secretary." He knew he was being an asshole, but it was so much easier than crawling on his knees all day and begging for her attention like some worthless stalker. Besides, it was all part of the plan.

He could see her timidness quickly disperse as fury bloomed in her eyes; her shoulders tensed as she straightened her back; maroon eyes burning into his.

She shoved the papers off the top of her desk, keeping her eyes on his as they tumbled to the floor like feathers, scattering around his shoes.

"Here," she sneered and turned, strutting down the hallways and into the women's bathroom.

Kaname clenched his fists as he watched her walk away, too tired to respond or react to her little childish act of defiance. Sighing, he bent down and picked up the papers, vaguely thinking that it felt more like picking up the pieces of his broken heart.

When Yuuki was six years old, she lost her mother.

It happened when she was home alone, waiting for her mother to come home when instead her father greeted her by the door. Kaien Cross bent down so he was at eye-level with her and held a hand on her shoulder as he cried, wiping his glasses on his shirt. He told her that her mother had been in a car accident on her way home from teaching a ballet class, and that it was quite severe.

"Well… she's coming back, right? They will fix her at the hospital… right?" Young and inexperienced with life's cruel way of taking away those we love too early, Yuuki was not able to accept the extent of the tragedy unfolding in front of her.

Kaien's sobs and tears answered her question.

They wouldn't be able to fix her – because she was already dead.

Yuuki cried for days until her eyes were dry and her throat was thick with suppressed emotion; she continued crying at her mother's funeral, screaming for her to come back as they lowered her coffin into the ground, inch by inch. Kaien had to hold her back from running towards the graveyard workers and stopping them, his strength being the only force that could counter her grief.

After that, the once so radiant and happy-go-lucky Yuuki Kurosu changed. Though she was young of age, the tragedy of losing her mother so early impacted her so deeply that she was no longer able to be the same carefree girl she'd once been.

Her friends left her one by one; they were simply too young to understand what she was going through, not realizing that her morose expressions and unwillingness to play with them was a result of the grief that consumed her, not because she was a meanie.

Despite the tragedy, Kaien managed to carry on and execute the dream he and Yuuki's mother had been working on; when Yuuki was in her early teens, Cross Academy was founded by her father, in loving memory of her mother. Focusing all his efforts on the school and being the headmaster of said school, Kaien found that it was easier for him to navigate through his grief than it was for Yuuki.

For Yuuki, growing up meant forgetting her mother – the hole left behind by her only deepening further as the years passed. At night she struggled to remember her face and her voice; memories blurring together and disappearing from her grasp as she struggled to remember.

When she got her first period, Yuuki cried because she didn't know what to do – and because her mother wasn't there to teach her. She had to call Yori – the only true friend she had – and ask if she could help her figure out the mess that was tampons and pads and whatnots.

When a boy broke her heart for the first time, she kept the pain to herself, wishing she could've told her mother about it and felt the comfort of a mother's embrace. After that, she shut off completely; when she wasn't busy rejecting her suitors, she was breaking their hearts by breaking up with them as soon as their relationship progressed towards a deeper emotional level. It was no wonder that Kaien had dubbed her "the heartbreaker of Cross Academy", believing she was simply picky when in reality she was just afraid.

Unfortunately for her, Yuuki soon came to realize that every girl needed a mother figure to guide her through the rough years of growing up – and she had none.

Though she loved her father, and their relationship was quite precious to her, Yuuki couldn't really talk to him about the things that occupied a young girl's mind – about boys, about periods, about make-up and all kinds of confusing things. And while they shared deeper conversations from time to time, neither Yuuki nor Kaien were people who liked to talk about their feelings.

Her depression ran deep, but she learned to smile through it – after all, 'fake it til you make it' was the only way she knew how to survive. Her anxiety attacks would come and go – always behind closed doors where no one could see her crumble on the floor or hear her cries. Talking about the things that bothered her was out of the question; and committing herself to anyone seemed pointless.

Kaien had, once upon a time – when he wasn't busy with the school and running budgets and planning future events – suggested she go see a shrink to talk about her emotional problems.

She saw the shrink two times before she gave up, deciding that she was a lost cause.

But even if she were, she wouldn't let it show. Her abandonment and commitment issues were hers alone; no one would know about them if she never talked about them – gave them names and validated them, acknowledging her flaws like they deserved to exist.

Yuuki Kurosu was a complicated girl.

She accepted the fact with ease as she went through life, eventually ending up in college where she was studying journalism and pursuing her dream of writing. But then – fate once again got in the way of her plans – and suddenly she was sitting outside of Kaname Kuran's office, desperate to score the position as his secretary so she could afford finishing college.

Yuuki was a complicated girl; but he made her forget for a while about her messy life and emotional turmoil. He made her laugh and he made her smile; working for him was a dream come true, not only because of the meticulous nature of her work that made it easy for her to sort out her life, but he was just so mysteriously compatible and gentle with her. He'd smile at her and tell her everything was all right even when she accidentally spilled her coffee – and she'd believe in him fully, never doubting him.

Previously, Yuuki had shut out all men from her life, and her friends consisted of only a handful of people. But with Kaname, everything came naturally. Their chemistry bloomed into a wonderful friendship; suddenly she – who had never, ever cried in front of anyone since her mother's funeral – was openly crying in his arms after having delivered the news about her father's cancer – and she felt completely okay with it.

There was something about him that made her feel warm. And for once, she wanted to allow herself to feel something that wasn't hurt or pain or loss.

But he was her boss, and so she was dead-set on keeping their relationship as professional possible, though it became harder and harder to deny the ease and comfort she felt whenever she was with him – as well as the growing attraction she felt towards him.

Though she was complicated, Yuuki was a good girl. As a way of coping with her emotional distress, Yuuki had done excellent at school, working meticulously in every subject to become the best – it was a great distraction from her life. She'd enrolled as part of the disciplinary committee, as well as attending the ballet club at her school for a brief period of time before the grief over her mother caught up with her.

She was a good girl – never broke any rules or failed any tests. And she wanted to continue that streak in her new job that she'd ended up doing for three years.

But then he dropped the bomb on her; Kaname Kuran, the CEO of Kuran Inc, her senpai and her boss, was in love with her. And he'd kept it from her for three years; went behind her back to buy her things and take her on secret dates – lying to her and deceiving her.

People had noticed. And they pinned it on her – the supposedly good girl who had never done any wrong – she'd slept with her boss, surely, to get all those benefits. There was simply no way she'd been able to gain it without spreading her legs, of course.

Not only was she a complicated girl, she was also now a whore in other people's eyes.

Already emotionally unstable, the paranoia and the hurt of his betrayal shattered Yuuki completely – even as she was still recovering from the pain of watching her father get sick.

Her phone rang in her pocket as she stared at her computer screen numbly, lost in her thoughts. She finally registered the buzzing and picked it up, pressing the "accept" button.

Now, she was at a standstill with the man that'd flipped her world upside down; made her feel things she'd never felt before, made her question her beliefs and wonder if maybe, just maybe, she too could be normal one day. The man that'd made her open up like never before – was now getting married to someone else despite his claim that he was head over heels in love with her. She was confused and hurt, unable to figure out her emotions. Her self-preservation instinct screamed at her to shut him out for good and escape, echoing like a fire alarm in the back of her skull.

And things were about to get worse.

"Hello?"

"Kurosu Yuuki?" Came an unfamiliar voice.

"Yes, this is her," Yuuki replied, sitting up straight in her seat.

"This is from the Tokyo University Hospital. Your father, Kaien Cross, was just submitted after suffering a seizure. Is it possible for you to come by as soon as pos–"

"O-on my way," Yuuki said, pressing the "END" button and getting up from her seat, grabbing her coat and rushing out of the office.

Her boss stepped out of the elevator just as she rushed in, his eyes widening at her stricken expression. "Yuuki…?" Kaname breathed, worry etched onto his features.

Tears spilled down her cheeks as the elevator doors shut in his face, sending her off, the distance between them increasing by the second.

She'd already lost her mother.

She was about to lose Kaname.

And now, her father too…?

"Your father is not responding well to the medication, and we believe the seizure was caused by a negative reaction from his immune system. He is not in direct harm at the moment, but we will need to come up with new solutions."

"Ah," Yuuki breathed, ignoring her phone that was buzzing in her pocket. "What… what are the options?

"Well," the doctor glanced at his chart, "we will need to set up a new medication routine for him and see how he responds to it. With his thyroid gland removed he is in serious need of the proper medication to maintain his thyroid hormone levels, or else his metabolism may be affected. We'll set it up immediately and make sure he is monitored for the time being. But for now, please don't worry – we have everything under control and he is doing very well." The doctor smiled pleasantly, wrinkles creasing at the corners of his eyes.

"That's… that's great," Yuuki said, not entirely convinced.

"Also, I need to discuss the payment for the treatment and for today…" He trailed off.

"Yes, of course, I can pay right away," she said, following him down the hallway. When she'd finished the necessary paperwork, she returned from the waiting room and walked to her father's room. She fished out the phone in her pocket and checked her messages.

"Where are you?"

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"Please, I know we're not exactly on speaking terms for the time being, but at least send me a text to let me know that you're all right."

They were all from Kaname, of course. Even if they'd treated each other like strangers the past weeks, he still managed to push away his hurt feelings and let his concern overwhelm him. Because that's just who he was – not the cold jerk that treated her indifferently – but the man who always, always was there for her no matter what, holding her hand through hard times and putting her wellbeing above his.

Yuuki swallowed the lump in her throat, missing his reassuring presence.

She trudged forwards and stepped inside her father's room.

"Father," she sobbed, rushing over to his bedside and hugging his frail body.

"Oh, what's this? Is my little Yuuki crying over me?" Kaien hummed, hugging her tightly.

"This is new," he commented, brushing her cheeks when she retracted slightly.

"What?" Yuuki chuckled through her tears as she sat down on the chair next his bed. "Is it too much for you to see your emotionally unstable daughter cry?"

"Kind of…" Kaien mused as he fixed the scarf covering his balding head. He pursed his lips, studying his crying daughter.

"Tell me, dear, what's bothering you? Though I'm touched by your concern for your father, I have a feeling there is something else bothering you…"

"I…" Yuuki glanced down at the bed sheets, unable to stand his inquisitive eyes. "Everything is just so muddled and confusing right now. Someone very dear to me betrayed my trust, and in turn I hurt them badly… I just… wish I could go back in time and fix things."

"I'll beat him up for you."

"Huh?" She looked up from the bed at him with wide eyes.

"Though I doubt I'd be able to in the state I am in… My, my, I really am weak," Kaien sighed.

Yuuki laughed at his attempt at light-heartedness. "That's not necessary."

He smiled before his expression sobered, watchful eyes trying to read her. "Still, Yuuki, won't you please tell me what's wrong?"

"I…" She hesitated.

"You're afraid, aren't you?" He clenched her hand tightly, a gentle smile lighting up his features. She nodded in response, unable to voice her feelings.

"Life's too short, Yuuki," he smiled, "it's too short to spend it being afraid and running away from your problems. Just look at me, dear, one second I'm watering the roses and suddenly I'm in this scary hospital. I know you have scars and bruises, but they won't heal unless you let them mend with the help from those who love you. I failed you when you needed me the most, I'll admit that; I was so focused on the academy, trying to distract myself from the pain of losing your mother that I failed to see what was going on with you." He brushed her chin gently as tears welled in his eyes.

"My sweet daughter, you used to have such a big heart but now you've closed it up, afraid of the world. I hate to see you like this, alone and so scared… You know, I won't…" He swallowed, a lump forming in his throat. "I won't always be here, and when it's my turn, I want to be assured that my beloved daughter is not alone in this world."

Yuuki bit her lower lip as tears streamed down her cheeks, blinking as their saltiness corrupted her vision.

"Yuuki," Kaien said softly, tucking away a stray hair from her face. "If you love someone, you should hold onto them with all you've got. Life will only give you one chance to make it right."

"H-how did you know?" She stuttered.

"I suppose having to watch over you all these years by myself taught me a lot about you. I know you better than most, Yuuki, and I know when you're confused and scared by your feelings." He mused. "Please, for your old father who's missing his thyroid gland, be brave and do the right thing. Make amends; forgive him and yourself."

"I'm sorry, father," she sobbed, "for being so complicated and troublesome."

He tsked. "Don't think I'm not used to it. Your mother was like that too – and it only made me love her more, just like I love you."

Yuuki smiled, laying her head on his stomach as he stroked her hair, basking in his strength and wisdom. She stayed with him for a few hours before returning home in the evening.

Tomorrow was her last day working as his secretary… which meant that she had one more day left to make things right.

Pursing her lips, she grabbed her car keys and walked out of her apartment, determined to fix things with him.

Life was too short, after all.

It seemed like her courage and determination had faded on her way to his house. Her heart hammered against her ribs as she waited outside his door, staring at the mahogany in a daze. Thunder roared among the clouds as her courage continued to diminish, bolts of lightning striking the earth in the distance. He probably wasn't home; he was probably with Sara or someone else or…

She turned, walking out into the rain and letting it soak her, fists clenched at her sides.

This was a stupid idea. I never should have come here.

"Yuuki?"

She froze, her feet halting at the sound of his voice.

"What… What are you doing out there? You'll get sick!"

She turned briefly, gazing at him. He was standing in the doorway, his black shirt slightly unbuttoned and untucked from his pants, hanging from his shoulders loosely yet snugly. Garnet eyes stared at her, his shocked expression sobering as the emotion in her eyes registered in his mind.

Run, her inner voice screamed. Now!

She turned again and quickly began walking away. She couldn't do this – absolutely not, no way. This… this was idiotic and he was still her boss and she wasn't really sure what she was doing outside his house at night but–

He grabbed her arm, turning her around. She crashed into his chest, her wet hair flinging around her shoulders from the movement. Nervously, she gazed up into his eyes, her mouth drying up as she stared at him.

Yuuki watched as drops of rain streamed down his face, blending with his hair and soaking his clothes. She teetered on the edge, wondering what to do. Should she give in? Or should she walk away?

But if she did, they'd be done forever. He would marry Sara and spend the rest of his life living the high-society life she knew he secretly hated. She would no longer see him again, except for in flashy magazine covers and exaggerated TV documentaries. They would part as enemies and remain so for the rest of their lives if she didn't mend things with him.

The feelings she had bottled up inside of her needed a release. She didn't understand them; couldn't bring herself to even try to comprehend them, but she knew that if there was one thing she would spend the rest of her life regretting until her hair was grey, then it was letting him go without giving him a chance.

"Where did you go today? Are you all right?" Concern was evident on he studied her.

When she didn't reply, he sighed and wiped some of the hair that clung to her face away.

"Come inside," he said, "or you'll get sick. Please." He pulled her arm, willing her to follow him but she resisted.

"Yuuki, please, come in–"

As he turned, she reached up on her tip-topes, her hands cradling his face. She stared at him with tender eyes; pushing away his wet bangs with gentle hands, revealing his eyes.

There was so much emotion in his garnet depths – so much love, so much tenderness – almost overflowing and it was all for her.

"Yuuki," his voice shook, "what are you–"

His words disappeared as her lips landed on his. His eyes widened as he froze, unable to grasp what was happening.

She was… kissing him. Of her own will.

Right here, in the pouring rain.

His temporary shock faded away as he quickly reciprocated, his lips hungrily moving against hers. Her tongue traced his lower lip, begging for entrance. He granted her access instantly, his tongue meeting hers and massaging it.

His hands grasped her waist, trailing down the contours of her body. Her fists grasped his shirt, pulling him closer with a desperate need.

The rain poured as they kissed, exploring each other mouths as they pulled each other close. Hot breaths escaped their mouths as they panted, anticipation running through their veins as it became clearer and clearer where the night was headed.

It was becoming too much; the need for more; to touch and to taste, to finally give in to the desire and attraction that ran rampant between them. Rain was quickly soaking their clothes, cooling their heated bodies, yet they paid no attention to the blistering cold.

As they paused for air, Yuuki found some semblance of rational thought in her mind.

"Inside, Kaname," she breathed against his yearning lips. His eyes widened, asking her the unspoken question that lingered in the air between them.

She nodded. "Inside."

They stumbled through the hallway.

Kaname pushed her up against the nearby wall, his lips trailing down her neck as she moaned. He pushed her jacket off as she wiggled her arms, finally freeing herself of the item.

They kissed and nipped at each other, frantic with need. He grabbed the back of thighs legs, lifting her up as she wrapped them quickly around his waist. Urgently he grabbed the end of her sweater, helping her take it off, leaving only her black lacy bra on.

Their mouths met again, refusing to be disconnected for too long. She grasped the back of his head, filtering her hands through his silky locks, pulling slightly. Yuuki was long gone; she no longer cared about consequences or repercussions or confusing feelings. Right now, she needed him as close as possible; to release the feelings that cluttered her rational mind and to feel him near.

She was going to break her holy rule, the one that'd kept her from him for three years.

She was going to sleep with her boss.

Even if she ended up hating herself for it.

With steady feet he walked down the hallway towards his bedroom, kicking up the door while she worked on unbuttoning his shirt as they kissed. As soon as it came undone, her hands swarmed his chest, touching and feeling the solid expanse, vaguely sensing the heart that beat steadily beneath layers of skin.

She kissed down his neck, sucking and nibbling as he reached the bed, gently laying her down as he nestled between her legs.

Yuuki felt the softness of his sheets beneath her bare back as reality kicked in. The two of them paused, gazing into each other's eyes for an indefinite moment of time, silently communicating.

She could tell how much he wanted this; how much he yearned for this moment – and deep down she could feel her own desperation echo. She wanted this too – whatever it was, whatever it lead to – all she knew was that she could not let him go.

She stroked his cheek gently, her eyes soft and tender as she gazed up at him. Right now he was not her boss or her annoying co-worker – he was a man that was ready to worship the ground she walked on – her former best friend, the one who'd held her hand when her father got sick and life was hard. The man that'd sacrificed so much for her secretly; putting his life on hold only to wait for her to come around and realize her feelings.

The man that loved her fully and unconditionally.

It made her heart swell with emotion. And though she was not ready to admit what it truly was, she could feel it sear through her bones, blending with her thoughts and becoming the only truth she'd ever known.

She craned her head up, reaching for his lips, silently telling him that she was not backing out.

For a second she swore she could feel the elation that traveled through his being at her admission. They kissed heatedly, tongues battling as desire caught up with them.

Years of unspoken feelings and moments gathered and erupted as they kissed, hands exploring previously uncharted territories.

He moaned as his shirt fell to the floor while her nails scraped down his back. Her bra landed somewhere on top of it; his lips immediately worshipping her tender mounds as she voiced her pleasure, arching her back into his touch.

The rest of their clothing joined his shirt and her bra soon enough.

"Kaname…"

He held her hands on each side of her head, their fingers laced together while his eyes remained locked with hers.

Tonight, she surrendered completely, not caring about tomorrow, because tomorrow ceased to exist the moment he entered her and filled her. As they moved to the rhythm of their heartbeats, she heard him moan her name in ecstasy, and she called his too like she was lost and the only way to come home was being with him. She clung onto him desperately; pouring out her bottled-up feelings like it was her personal catharsis.

It felt so good and so right. So comfortable and safe in his arms; yet earth shattering and life changing – so passionate she was sure she would erupt any minute.

"I love you, Yuuki," he whispered as she came in his arms.

She didn't deny it.

And while her mouth remained shut, her body spoke for her as she received him, hugging him tightly in her arms while she clung to him like second skin. His name fell from her lips like a broken prayer.

She'd never felt like this before – and she was not ready to let go of it just yet.

The rainstorm continued outside the walls of his house as the two lost themselves over and over, washing the lands clean of the debris belonging to the past.

The next morning she awoke in an unfamiliar bed. Her hair was tangled and knotty, still damp from yesterday's rain. Flashes from last night swarmed her mind as she pieced them together one by one.

Her eyes widened as she felt the heat and softness against her back. She looked down at her stomach, seeing a masculine arm gently holding her.

Kaname hummed contentedly in his sleep from behind her.

Yuuki swallowed as the realization that she was being spooned – while naked – by her boss dawned upon her.

And suddenly reality came crashing into her serene morning.

She'd slept with her boss, knowing that he was now officially engaged and about to be married. She'd discarded all her morals and values; breaking her own rule of never initiating anything with him.

Her body tensed as regret instantly flooded her. Oh god, what had she done? His power over her was overwhelming; it took just one kiss from his to turn her into a lusty mess, crazy with need; to make her discard all rational thought and throw herself off the cliff with him.

This was a line she'd promised herself that she would never cross.

Now… Now she was exactly what everyone called her; the simple secretary that slept her way to the top; bedded her boss knowing he was in a relationship. And Zero…

Oh god, Zero. I was supposed to go on a date with him yesterday but after I visited my father, but I… forgot about him.

She had to escape.

Right now.

She couldn't stay a minute longer in Kaname's arms – she didn't deserve it. The regret and shame was too much.

As gently as she could, she pried away his arm. But he was stubborn and held on tight, shifting himself closer to her. She ignored the rush of feelings that swarmed her at his action; instead she tried again, eventually removing his arm from her waist and turning towards him.

His sleeping face greeted her. Maroon eyes softened as she watched his serene expression; her heart swelling with emotion. This man that loved her so much, that held back for so many years just to spare her the burden of dealing with his feelings…

He didn't deserve any of this. He didn't deserve to suffer through the mess that was Yuuki Kurosu. He didn't deserve the disappointment she knew she would inflict on him sooner or later.

She was too complicated; too frightened of abandonment and commitment – terrified by the threat of rumors and dishonoring herself and those she cared about.

His fiancé didn't deserve this.

Zero didn't deserve this.

Ahh, why do I always hurt people?

Tears gathered in her eyes as her vision blurred, his face becoming distorted. She reached out to stroke his face one last time but resisted, retracting her hand slowly.

This had to be goodbye. He would hate her forever for this – for breaking his heart again.

But her fear overrode her guilt as she quietly sneaked out of bed, gathering her discarded clothes and running out into the hallway. She dressed quickly; hissing as she realized her sweater was by the entrance.

"Miss Yuuki," A maid blushed, "looking for this?"

Yuuki's mouth fell open. Oh god…

Now even one of his maids knew that she was a slut that slept with her boss. Panic rose like a tidal wave in her stomach, making her feel faint and dizzy. This was too much; she couldn't take all these feelings of guilt and shame that was overwhelming her, couldn't bring herself to navigate through them.

"Yes, l-leave it there," she ordered. "Also, fetch me a pen and paper."

The maid nodded and left her alone as Yuuki put on her sweater. She ran a hair through her messy hair as she checked the watch on her other wrist.

She was still his secretary – today was her last day working for him.

She couldn't face him, not… not after what'd they done. Absolutely not.

As the maid handed her the pen and paper, Yuuki mentally calculated that she would have just enough time left to swing by the office and gather her belongings before disappearing for good. Her resignation letter stated she was supposed to work full hours the last day, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't stay there a minute longer.

Her father's words from yesterday echoed in her mind, yet she chose to ignore them; her anxiety catching up with her like a wolf hunting her down in the middle of a black forest. Tears welled in her eyes as she heard the echo of the cruel whispers she'd been subjected to in the bathroom; the whore, the slut – the airhead that was useless at her job…

Now, she'd fallen to the level they meant she belonged in – she was those things and worse.

She'd broken her rules; hurt him, hurt Sara and Zero. Because that's what I do. I hurt everyone around me; I ruin them.

Yuuki sobbed as she scribbled on the paper, tears dripping down onto the thin parchment.

She left it on his desk where she knew he'd find it and bolted out of the mansion, her speedy movements making the paper flutter on the desk, before it eventually settled among letters and documents while the sound of her car speeding away roared outside.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews are as always appreciated :)

...*Enters witness protection for real this time around.* I listened to Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine while writing the luvv scene, FYI.

Rena: Oh my gosh! Your review made me so happy! One of the best Yume stories? That's very flattering! Thank you :D!

Thanks for reading! Reviews are as always appreciated :)