Gleestuck
Episode 2
Season 1
==» John: Talk to Ms. Lalonde
You now sit across from Ms. Lalonde in her small office. Behind her an array of ridiculous pamphlets titled things like "Ouch! That Stings!" and "My Mom's Bipolar and she Won't Stop YELLING" and "I Can't Stop Touching Myself!" lay out for the student body to pick up at their liberty.
The guidance counselor slides one titled "So You Like Throwing Up: Understanding and Overcoming Bulimia" toward you on her desk.
"So, how long have you sturgled... struggled with this?" asks Ms. Lalonde.
You feel really embarrassed to be having this conversation right now.
"Um, well, I'm not bulimic. I mean, I tried it, but it didn't really work out..." you tell her.
Ms. Lalonde nods and takes a sip of a glass of wine on her desk. "Well, kay. Then why don't we get to the root of the porbwem... problem. Why did you try to throw up?"
The more she asks the more pathetic you feel. You answer, "Well, you see... I just... Oh God this sounds stupid... I don't know I thought... Please don't make me answer this."
Ms. Lalonde cocks an eyebrow at you. You utter, "I want to be more... desirable. Like... Oh, I dunno maybe Feferi Peixes."
"Fefer Peixes? The Cheerio? Oh she's beauiwf... Beaeauti... whatever. You get it." she tells you. You nod, "Yeah. I know."
"But... But why do you want to be pretty like Feferi?" Ms. Lalonde queries.
You think about that for a minute and tell her, "Have you ever liked someone so much you just want to lock yourself in a room and listen to sad music and cry?"
"No. That's... Silly." Ms. Lalonde replies with a far away look in her eye.
"...Right. Well, anyways... You're perfect just the way you are, John. If it's meant to be it'll all come together" she tells you.
You feel like you've read that fortune cookie a million times, but nod appreciatively and take your leave.
==» John: Go to your locker.