Timeline: Christmas in Dublin. The last time I spent Christmas in Ireland I was a baby so I hope most of this is accurate...
Song: All That I Want - The Weepies
Mum,
I hope that this reaches you in time. If not, you now know I won't be able to attend Christmas this year, though Tom and I both appreciate the invitation. We simply do not have the funds to afford the boat fare and we'd prefer to save the time and stress and spend the Holiday in Dublin. Please do not think this is me in anyway choosing my new life over the one I've left behind. I miss you and Mary and Edith and Papa more than you can imagine.
Tom and I have discussed attending Christmas next year, if you would have us. Tom's earning a steady wage now and I've been picking up work here and there. If we save, I don't see it being a problem as I do miss Yorkshire this time of year.
I am writing you to let you know that we are expecting. I am about two months along and Tom and I could not be happier. Feel free to share the news with Papa though I do not care to hear his response. Marriage has been all I expected and I will not have his comments during such a wonderful time.
I'd appreciate it if you refrained from sharing the news with Mary and Edith and Granny. It's bad news to share such an early pregnancy with everyone. I will tell them when I am ready but for now I'd like to keep the news to a small group of people.
I am happy and I do wish everyone could be happy for me. Please know I do miss Downton but Tom has made Dublin the most beautiful new home. Our flat is lovely and Tom has been the most wonderful husband. He may not be what you or Papa wanted for me but it's important you know that he's all I've ever wanted and that he makes me ever so happy. I hope that's enough for you and that you're both coming around to us. God only knows it's enough for me.
Please let me know how everyone is. I really do miss everyone and look forward to reuniting in the near future. I hope Mary and Matthew are figuring themselves out and that Edith finds something of the same. I miss their bickering, if you'll believe it, but I do wish them the best.
I miss and love you all.
Best,
Sybil
The letter was sent nearly a month ago and Sybil had checked the mail everyday waiting for a response. Tom watched as Sybil went to their mailbox every morning and then returned with nothing but bills and the local paper. It was Christmas Eve now and Tom's heart sunk as he remembered he had nothing to give her, not even a letter from her parents.
"Explain this to me again," she said, loving the way she was snuggled into him, holding onto his upper arm for support as they meandered through a rather crowded Dublin street.
"We go to mass at midnight tonight then we'll sleep at my parent's house and open gifts in the morning after breakfast."
"Gifts?" Sybil inquired, remembering how they had promised not to exchange anything.
"Don't worry about it. It'll be fun and trust me, it goes by so quickly."
"So we all sleep at your mom's? Where will we all fit?"
Tom laughed, pulling the hand he was holding up to his mouth to kiss the skin where her wedding ring rested. Her hands were swollen, much the way she told them they would be. Pregnancy looked good on her though, and Tom enjoyed the changes to her body and did his best to reassure her that she was beautiful as ever. It wasn't hard to say such things, especially when everything about her carrying his child was all the more appealing to him. "You and I get a bedroom...you can thank the baby for that one."
He thanked the baby for other things too, like the endless nights of lovemaking as she was suddenly insatiable and he was all too willing to please. They would awake the next morning after what could only be considered a nap and continue where they had left off with Tom entering Sybil in one slow motion.
"Oh good," Sybil said, as if reading his mind and picturing the same things her husband was.
As promised, they attended midnight mass, and then when everyone else went to a local pub to celebrate, Tom brought Sybil back to his mother's to rest. They did little of the latter and instead laid around, enjoying one another's company as they lay naked under the duvet on the bed in the guest room Sybil was so fond of.
"Happy Christmas, love," Sybil whispered before leaning up to kiss him. It left her breathless and wanting more but she settled for such a thing as they both heard keys in the front door, inviting the rest of the family home.
"How's my girl doing?"
Sybil beamed, watching as Tom's hand traveled down to the swell of her stomach. "God, you're beautiful."
"You know, I didn't know what to expect but I'm actually enjoying this whole pregnancy thing. I watched women suffer through it at the hospital but I feel great. I can tell he or she is going to be healthy and just really lovely. I couldn't be happier, Tom."
"Does this mean you want more?"
Sybil ran a fingernail down the line separating Tom's chest. She smiled now, looking up at him as if such an emotion could convey exactly what she wanted to say better than words ever could. "More? I want a flock of them."
"A flock?" Tom questioned, all too amused.
Sybil nodded. "Three or four."
Tom kissed her nose. "I would love that."
She leaned up, stroking his cheek as she took his lips against hers. Not needing much enticing, she slipped her tongue past his lips to apply pressure to his own. She moaned as she was reminded of how sensitive her body was since becoming pregnant. Sybil reveled in the feel of him, still slightly soft, pushing against her tummy. She smiled into the kiss, pulling them apart. "Me too."
A knock sounded at the door, forcing Tom to call out a frustrated "One minute!" as he and Sybil slipped into the pajamas they had packed for the night.
On the other side of the door, Elizabeth stood, knowing all too well what her brother and his wife had previously been up to. "No need. I'm just letting you know that John and I are taking the kids home and we'll be back in the morning." She paused, then returned with a thought she must have happened upon. "Sybil, how are you feeling?"
"Wonderful," Sybil yelled out, giggling as Tom kissed her neck sending her into a fit against the mattress. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she tried to manage in between laughs. Elizabeth responded with a gaeilge Christmas greeting. She was happy to be ignored as she heard Tom cause Sybil to laugh from behind the large oak door that separated them.
~!~
Tom awoke to the smell of fresh bangers and coffee. The bed next to him was empty but as he checked the watch he left on the bedside table the night before he was thankful to see he had not overslept the way he originally surmised.
Entering the kitchen, he saw Sybil, dancing at the counter as she placed a freshly baked batch of muffins on a plate. When she saw him, she smiled, her face full of so much more energy now that she was pregnant. He smiled back, being given no other option when his wife was standing before him in such a state. "Nollaig…" she began, forgetting the rest.
"Shona Dhuit," he finished for her, causing her to smile before returning to the sausage still simmering in a pan on the stove. Tom wrapped his hands around Sybil's midsection, resting them on the child growing within her. "Couldn't sleep?" He asked, kissing the space behind her ear.
Sybil turned off the stove and turned around. "Not really. And I didn't want to wake you so I figured I would make everyone breakfast so your mum could have the morning off. It could be our gift to everyone."
"Well you should have woke me. If it's a gift from the both of us, I want to help."
"Then grab a few plates from the pantry and help me set the table!" She swatted his bum, sending him off toward the pantry to follow her request. "Love you," she singsonged as he went.
One by one, the family filtered in, with Elizabeth's and Kieran's families arriving to the flat shortly thereafter. They all thanked Sybil for such a wonderful breakfast but their voices were unable to hide the shock they felt as they bit into the food that was not only edible but rather delicious. The table was crowded with muffins, bacon, sausage, tea, coffee, fruit and porridge. They passed the meal back and forth, all of them discussing how wonderful it was to be together for the Holiday.
Sybil beamed as Tom held her hand underneath the table, stroking a thumb to her swollen stomach. He couldn't get enough of her lately, so filled with love as she carried the child they had made.
"Sybil, really, this is lovely dear." Helen commented, knowing she would have enjoyed the meal just as much even if she hadn't been allowed to watch someone else prepare it. A swell of pride was felt as she watched Sybil interact with the rest of the family while they enjoyed the young girl's meal. Mrs. Branson remembered the night she arrived and the nights leading up to their arrival when she doubted the girl her son had fallen in love with. Aristocratic girls don't fall in love with lower class Irish boys. Helen soon learned that Sybil was so much more than the home she grew up in and the family that raised her. She was respectable, polite, and never an ounce pretentious. If Helen was being honest with herself, Sybil was perfect for Tom and every bit what her son deserved.
After breakfast the family gathered in the living room, around the tree. A quilted tree skirt was hidden beneath mountains of gifts causing Sybil to hope the breakfast her and Tom made was enough. She had wanted to get everyone a gift as they had all done for one another but her and Tom knew that with a baby on the way it would be impossible. Luckily, his family was all too understanding, stopping at nothing when purchasing gifts for Sybil, Tom and the baby. They all remembered what it was like to be newly married with a baby on the way. After all, it wasn't about the gifts they received, but instead the love they felt when giving to others.
Sybil received a quilt from Mrs. Branson, one that Helen explained to be perfect for swaddling a newborn. Sybil looked at the intricate stitching and the lace hem that wrapped softly around the edges. She pulled the material into her chest, feeling how soft it was. She smiled, thinking how perfect it would be when the baby was finally here to enjoy such a gift. She also received a notebook, a change purse, and a Christening dress for the baby from the remaining siblings. As the day turned into night and Mrs. Branson began to cook dinner, Sybil watched with Tom as his nieces and nephews played with their new toys. It reminded Sybil of her own childhood Christmases back in the drawing room at Downton. The much larger room seemed just as littered as the current living room of Tom's parents home. Wrapping paper and toy boxes laid scattered about the room as Sybil watched Tom's niece Lucy share her new doll with her aunt.
"She's beautiful, Lucy. What have you named her?"
"Sybil!" Lucy exclaimed, raising the doll up as an offering.
Sybil laughed behind her hand as she leaned down to admire the little girl's toy. "No, silly girl. She needs a name that's all her own. Let's think..."
"Lucy!"
Sybil laughed again. Tom looked on in admiration, thinking how marvelous Sybil would be as a mother when their own child was finally welcomed into the world. "That's a pretty name. But how will we ever tell you two apart?"
"What about...ummmmm…Claire?"
"I think that is a beautiful name for such a pretty doll."
The toddler walked off, finding another family member to entertain. Sybil snuggled into Tom's shoulder, hiding her face as she laughed again, breathing him in as she did so. "She's great," she commented.
"You're great," he countered, placing a kiss to the crown of her head. "I can't wait for you to be a mam-"
"I can't wait for you to be a dad," she finished, sealing her admission with a kiss to her husband's lips. They lingered for perhaps a bit too long causing an awkward silence when they finally pulled away. Tom excused himself, going to grab another cup of coffee while Sybil was left to fester in the embarrassment he had left behind.
"What's this?" She asked, looking up as Tom approached her with a glass of milk and a paper wrapped package. It reminded her of her engagement ring that now rested so comfortably on her ring finger. "Tom…" She began, wondering what he had gotten her when they both promised not to exchange gifts.
He sighed, feeling the need to explain himself. "I wasn't looking but I happened upon it and knew it was worth it. I didn't spend much," he offered, knowing that was what was concerning her. That, and the fact that she didn't get him anything.
"I don't want anything," he said, almost as if reading her mind. The child she would soon bare was gift enough. "I just hope you like it."
"I'm sure I'll love it…" Her fingers toyed at the paper. She was as patient as she had ever been, not wanting to enjoy the gift too much when she knew she could not return such a favor. As she peeled back the paper, she recognized the cover, or at least the words printed upon it in black ink. She flipped through the book, remembering the last time she had read the novel by Jules Michelet. It was years ago on her way to London for her cotillion. "Tom…" She breathed out. Behind the cover were words she recognized but did not fully understand.
"I know you love it. I remember you signed it out on the ledger the same day I took my books out after first arriving. And you say you want to learn gaeilge so I figured-"
She cut him off with a kiss, loving him as best as she could. "It's perfect. Thank you!" She flipped through the book, vowing to devour each and every page. "I can't wait to-" She stopped, almost crying now. Tom laughed, kissing away a tear that had just fallen from the corner of her left eye. He knew and loved this part of her pregnancy which made her all the more honest and lovable with each passing month.
"You like it then?"
"I love it. And I love you. You make me so happy, Tom…" She was still crying now, but she welcomed the tears, secretly knowing he enjoyed the way they slicked her cheeks and highlighted the scarlet color they wore.
"Next Christmas we'll go to Downton, alright? I'm going to begin saving now and we can bring the baby…"
"We'll see."
"No, we will," he reassured her. "I know how much it'll mean to you and you need to see your family."
"I told you, Tom...you're my family now."
"I know that and I love you for it but they're still your family and they always will be." He sighed. "Please, let me do this for you."
"Alright," she stated simply, returning her attention to the children still on the floor.
"That's it then?"
"That's it," she breathed out. "I'm not going to argue you if you want to take me there. I'll go anywhere with you."
I can't tell you guys how much the reviews have meant to me. Knowing that you guys are reading and taking the time to leave your responses is such a comforting feeling when you spend time writing as much as I do. So thank you again! Please keep it up!
x. Elle