well hello for the second time tonight my dear readers. anyway same deal as always, I do not own the night world or its characters whom shall be 15 and 16 in this particular fic. anyay, enjoy :)

Ouch

Vampires. A superior species to the human race in every way. Faster. Stronger. More beautiful. Powers beyond what a human could ever even dream of possessing. And immortal.

Comparing the two species, you'd never think that a single method could have an equal effect on both vampire and human. But as it turns out, getting whapped in the happy sacks is just as effective for both vampire and human men.

This fact is something that Jez finds particularly amusing. So much so, that when it happened to Morgead, she nearly laughed her lunch up before she could help the poor vampire.

It happened one day when Jez and Morgead were off somewhere avoiding doing Jez's homework.

They were deep inside Muir Woods, jumping from tree to tree and racing through the bush.

After some time, the two came across a good sized clearing with a small hunting shack tucked into the far side against the trees, and a half rotted wooden beam fence around the close half of the clearing.

Naturally, Jez wanted to take a look inside the shed. So obviously, Morgead went with her. Though it would have been wise for him not to follow her exactly.

Once Jez had reached the last tree before the clearing, she leapt down from twenty feet above and laded gracefully with a barely discernible wobble on the top beam of the fence. Hopping off the fence and flashing Morgead a smug look, Jez told him, "Beat that, if you can."

Morgead grunted in acknowledgement and flung himself off the branch he'd been perched on a moment before. Morgead saw the beam getting bigger and bigger, and he saw his legs extending to meet it. But it was too late before he noticed that he'd landed with his left foot on a rotted part of the wood. His momentum helped push his foot through the rotted wood and landed him with a nice solid wooden beam in between his legs.

Jez gasped and clapped a hand to her mouth as Morgead's eyes bulged and his breath whooshed from his lungs.

It really seemed like an eternity before Morgead finally nudged himself sideways and he fell off the fence to the ground where he curled into the fetal position and clutched at his pants. It was another few seconds before he began to dry heave loudly and press his face hard into the grass as he twisted and writhed in pain.

"Oh," Jez didn't know whether to laugh or call an ambulance, so she just stood staring at poor Morgead while he wheezed loudly on the ground.

Jez shuffled awkwardly over to Morgead and knelt down by his head. Gently, she began to stroke his hair out of his face while she chuckled, "You alright…? Or is that just a stupid question."

Morgead's face contorted into a painful snarl and he breathed, "Ice. Painkillers. Something."

"Ah, okay," Jez bit back laughter at the miserable shape Morgead was in. "but you do know we're pretty far out, so you're gonna have to walk some."

Morgead moaned pathetically and pressed his face into Jez's hand. This time, she couldn't hold back the laughter bubbling up. Talking through it, Jez promised, "I'll help. I could probably carry you if you really needed it."

"As if," Morgead grunted. He lifted one hand away from his sore spot and began pushing himself up shakily. Jez helped, and when he was in a somewhat standing position, Jez began to half support him; half drag through the woods and back to town.

It went slow, and every time Morgead moaned or clutched harder at himself, Jez would burst out in a fresh bout of crippling laughter.

"Lucky for you," Jez giggled as they broke out past the tree line and into the park. "Berry's is right near here. I'm sure he'll give you some ice. And if not, you could always stuff ice cream down your pants."

Morgead let Jez drag his sorry form in through the front door of the local ice cream store only to be dumped in the nearest chair. Jez looked up as Morgead doubled back up with his head on top of the table and his hands between his legs.

Of course, Jez thought absently to Morgead.we couldn't have picked a busier day.

The shop was packed with people. Some families with loud children, an old couple or two, and plenty of people Jez and Morgead's age. All of whom were staring.

Jez wiped a bead of sweat from her brow and marched past a small line and straight up to the counter. The people in the line tried to protest as Jez leaned against the counter, peered into the back staff room, and called out for the owner.

Berry came ambling out the door and frowned at Jez. "There is a line, Jez. You have to wait your turn."

Jez scoffed and waved him off. "No I don't want ice cream. We need an ice pack like, stat."

"I'm sorry? And ice pack? What on earth for?"

Jez smirked and leaned across the counter in a sly manner. "Well you see, Morgead happened to take a fence post to the –"

"That's not important, Jezebel," Morgead growled roughly. "Just focus on the ice."

Jez rolled her eyes. "Right."

Berry peered around Jez at Morgead flopped unconventionally across the table and muttered something Jez didn't bother paying attention to. He disappeared back behind the door he'd emerged from and rooted around in the freezer for a moment before he came back out with a white and blue ice pack clutched in one hand. He offered it to Jez and told her, "Here, take it with you. I don't think I'll want it back. Now scat! You're holding up the line!"

"Thanks!" Jez waved in thanks to Berry and tossed the ice pack at Morgead when she got close to their table. Morgead didn't bother trying to catch it, and it hit the table and skidded off the other edge.

Jez kicked out her seat and muttered, "Moron," as she bent over and grabbed the ice. She offered it to Morgead and said, "Take it, 'cause I'm sure as hell not putting it in for you."

Morgead grunted and grabbed the ice pack from Jez and hastily shoved it down his jeans. Jez flushed and stared intently out the window as Morgead wiggled the ice around and shifted awkwardly. Jez didn't make eye contact when she asked, "Better?"

"Kinda."

"Well, you certainly sound a bit better."

"Hmm."

"I just still can't believe," Jez laughed suddenly, that the indomitable Morgead Blackthorn – Mr. Vampire himself – was brought to his knees by a fence post." Jez shook her head and laughed harder. "I mean, I half though you were gonna die for a minute there! You looked freaked out, man. You probably won't be able to have freaking kids now, you know! Oh god that's hilarious!"

"All right, Jezebel. That's enough," Morgead growled.

Jez decided to let the name calling slide this time and kept laughing harder. After all, the boy had just nearly been castrated.

thanks for reading my randomness and please review cause really it takes like 3 seconds