Natasha

Natasha moved slightly in the bed, she stirred slightly and frowned. She slowly opened her eyes, she stared up at the ceiling. She parted her lips and swallowed as her throat was a little dry. She closed her eyes and brought her hands up to rubbed her eyes. She let a long sigh bring her up. She stayed there in a sitting position for a while. She moved her hair out of her face and she grabbed the blanket and tossed it aside. She was still in her clothes, she must have fallen asleep. She moved her legs over the edge of the bed, her feet touched the floor. She titled her head as the floor was cold, at least she took her shoes off. Natasha put her arms back and leaned back on them, she let her head fall back, she felt her back stretch and she took in a long breath. The ceiling was still dark, and the soft blinking of a green light was the only light in the room. She looked over at the computer that was on the desk, she fought through the thoughts of laying back down and stood. She found her shoes in the dark, she put them on and she zipped the side of the long boot up. She grabbed the buckle and clipped it at the top of the ankle, she did the same for her other foot. She stood to her full height, plus the added height from the boots. The door was closed and it sounded like the hallway was empty, she walked forward and opened the door. It slid open and she entered the hallway, it was empty.

She took a few steps and she didn't know if they were the hard ones or the ones that slowly led her to the Medical bay were the hardest. She moved through the facility quietly, her boots softly clicking against the floor. She rounded a corner and at the end of the long hallway was the Medical bay. She froze as she stared at the doors, they stood at the end and the long hallway seemed to be a mile long. Even though she could reach the doors in less than a minute. She took a breath and her feet felt like they were made of lead as she moved them forward. Her feet moved and as she drew closer the doors became bigger. Natasha felt the floor against her boots, the steadiness of her legs was reassuring, but the sound of her heart filled her ears. The loud thumping in her ears made every step feel unthinkable. She felt her lip start to tremble and she frowned slightly, her lip stopped.

Natasha kept her feet moving, even as the doors seemed to fall away from her and fly backward, the distance increasing. She kept moving, she notice that her stride had greatly decreased since she started. Natasha felt like she stared at the large doors forever, then she took a step and they opened. She froze as the door broke in the middle and pulled away from each other. She walked through the doorway and entered the Medical bay. She looked to the left at all the equipment, she didn't see the Doctor anywhere, or any other medical staff. Natasha could hear a monitor beeping, she turned to see Steve laying in the medical bed, right where she left him. Except he wasn't covered in bandages and casts. Now he looked like he could get up and walk out, but his eyes were closed. A part of Natasha hoped that he was just sleeping, she was okay if he was just sleeping, but he wasn't. He was in a coma, and the fact of being healed doesn't matter in the fact of when he escaped the reaches of his mind. She walked over and she saw a chair, she took it with her. She walked next to his bed and set the chair next to it. She took a seat and she exhaled and her lip trembled again. She stopped it like before, but the trembling turned into tears. She kept those from falling too, but her eyes were filled with them, there was no hiding the fact that she was upset. She stared at his stationed body and she reached up and she stopped herself. She hesitated and she took his hand in hers, he was warm. She smiled softly "Hey" she spoke softly.

Steve laid there unconscious and didn't respond. Natasha bit her lips slightly and nodded. She squeezed his hand tightly, but he didn't squeeze hers. "We're lucky that he can recover quickly" a voice said behind her.

Natasha turned to see the Doctor, he grabbed a clipboard and looked through the papers "The smaller fractures in his arms and legs are healed, his back is mostly healed. The larger fractures are starting to heal, good thing that hand is healed" he spoke glancing at her hand.

Natasha looked at her own hand and her eyes turned back toward the Doctor "His skull?" she did her best not to break down trying to say it.

The Doctor put the clipboard down "Healed, but the brain damage is uncertain, I haven't scanned him in a while, but I'm confident he'll be fine"

"And is that confidence on if he'll wake up or not?"

The Doctor pursed his lips and sighed "Sadly, I don't know"

Natasha nodded at the answer, "I'll leave you alone" the Doctor said and walked away. Natasha took a deep breath and looked back at Steve. She reached and her hand lightly brushed his hair. She smiled softly, her hand lightly rubbed against his temple. She frowned as she held his hand. She sniffed softly and felt tears come to her eyes as her vision blurred. She took a deep breath and exhaled. She tried to relax, but when she looked at him, she just wanted his eyes to open and she wanted to see that stupid grin. She lowered her head and closed her eyes. She tried to think of something nice, she thought for a moment and she focused on the bench in New York. The sunset as they both sat there, it was before they got together. It was before the party where Red Skull attacked the Tower. How his arm was wrapped around her, and the feeling of his shoulder as she laid her head against it.

Natasha looked up at Steve, she watched as his chest lightly rose and fell. She sniffed and smiled at him "I remember you teaching me how to cook" she said softly to the silent and comatose Steve. She chuckled "I was awful"

She lowered her head and nodded "But you taught me how to make breakfast, you had to be the one who had to eat all the food I made" she laughed slightly "I remember saying that I hope that I don't poison you"

Steve was silent and the only movement was his chest as he breathed. She frowned slightly "Wake up" she said softly she reached forward and rested her hand on his cheek. "Steve?" she asked

She stared at the unresponsive Steve and she felt tears coming to her eyes "Steve, wake up" she said and she sniffed. She took a silent breath, but she felt her cheeks move slightly as tears fell down her face "Wake up so we can make breakfast together" she spoke and her voice broke as she got to the end of it all. She put her head down and rested it against his warm hand. She sniffed and lifted her head. She stared at him, hoping that his eyes were open, and that he would see her, but they stayed closed and unmoving. The soft beeping from the monitor was the only sound she listened to, it was telling her that he was alive, but not awake. Natasha squeezed Steve's hand tighter "You stuck around me even when you didn't have to. If you don't wake up, I'll be right here. If you do, I will be relieved, if you remember me I'm going to kiss you, if you don't, I'm still going to kiss you" she said with a soft smile. She took a breath and she heard boots behind her. She turned to see him, the person she hated. Bucky stood a respectful distance away. "How is he?" he asked

Natasha looked away from him and back at Steve "He'll live" she said

Bucky nodded "How's the brain damage?"

"Not sure, he could wake up and nothing is wrong with him, he may never wake up, or he could wake up and he can't remember anything"

Bucky got a little closer, but cautiously, he didn't feel like having Natasha attack him "I bet it's the first one, Steve did always have a way about him"

Natasha looked at him, Bucky felt her eyes on him and he could tell tears were falling down her face. He saw another chair and he grabbed it. "May I join you?" he asked before he sat down.

Natasha didn't oppose or agree. She didn't care what he did. Bucky nodded and took a seat, he looked at Steve, he looked much better. "Natasha?" Bucky asked

She turned to look at him, he felt her eyes on him and how he felt like the temperature in the room dropped a bit. Bucky smiled awkwardly "I don't want to impose"

"You've done quite enough"

Bucky knew what she meant, he nodded "I am sorry for what I did"

She stared at him, she wasn't going to accept his apology. Bucky nodded "I just want you to know, not a day goes by I don't feel regret"

Natasha nodded "I don't care" she said coldly she looked back at Steve and closed her eyes. She didn't want to talk to him right now.

Bucky stared into the back of her head, he sighed "I don't see when we'll be able to talk about it"

Natasha sighed, she looked back at him "Don't try to read me Barnes"

Bucky stared right at her "Kind of hard not to, I get it, you hate me. I'd hate me too"

Natasha shook her head and went back to looking at Steve. Bucky took a deep breath "Steve was a pain in the ass growing up"

Natasha didn't look back at him, Bucky smiled "I think he got beat up in every alley in Brooklyn, I was always there to end it too. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn't there, what happened. I don't know if Steve won or lost. Back then he, he had a way about him. He was not the biggest guy, more like the smallest, but he never complained. I don't even think he thought about it too much"

She closed her eyes and Bucky continued to talk "You got a point Barnes?" she asked bluntly

Bucky opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it with a sigh "I admired him, he had nothing handed to him. He always had to work for what he wanted, what my point is. If he wants to wake up, he'll wake up"

Natasha turned to look at him "Tell me something Barnes, why are you trying to talk to me?"

Bucky stared at her, he glanced at Steve "It's what he would've wanted"

Natasha's eyes glanced at Steve and they went right back to Bucky. He shrugged "I don't expect anything to happen, I was a monster, and I was turned into a monster. I was used, my mind was picked at like a free for all. They messed with it so many times, I can barely remember what decade I did things. But I remember everything with Red Room, it was the one thing that Hydra was not allowed to mess with, but I remember all my targets now. I don't seek your forgiveness, I don't ask for it either. I just want you to know that I am sorry, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I played with your feelings, I violated you in a way that is unspeakable"

Natasha stared at him, she stayed silent, Bucky looked at her "Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing here" he said looking around "I should be dead right now"

Natasha nodded "Me too" she said softly

Bucky looked at her "No, you should be alive, and you are. I don't know who I am. I was Bucky Barnes then I wasn't, I turned into the Winter Soldier then I wasn't, I was turned into this" he said looking at himself "I have no idea who I am, sure I act like Bucky, but I'm not him anymore. I stopped being me such a long time ago, I don't know who that is anymore"

"You're somewhere in between" Natasha said

Bucky nodded "Yeah, something you and I have in common"

Natasha nodded "I didn't find out who I was till I spent a few years with S.H.I.E.L.D. even then I still barely knew. I was the Black Widow, then I wasn't, now I am still the Black Widow, but the name is all that I have in common with her. I found who I was, after years of being what everyone else wanted me to be, I finally decided who I wanted to be and he helped me" she said looking at Steve. She nodded "I owe him a lot"

Bucky nodded "So do I"

She looked at him, she smiled sheepishly "He could have killed me on the Helicarrier, but he saved me. Steve doesn't give up on his friends"

Natasha nodded and she looked at Bucky for a while. "I get it" She said

Bucky frowned, Natasha nodded, and she really did need to let it go. She shouldn't blame Bucky, like Steve said, she needed to blame the ones who created him, and he had no choice in what he became, just like her. She knew that she just didn't want to see all their similarities, she wanted to make Bucky the bad guy, she wanted everything to be wrong with him, she wanted to see him as the bastard that broke her, but he wasn't. Like her he was molded into someone he had no choice of being, they were strikingly similar. She remembered what Jane told her a while ago 'It helps, forgiving'. Natasha nodded to herself and looked at Bucky "I forgive you" She said, the words were heavy as they left her mouth, but she felt a great sense of peace once she spoke them.

Bucky raised his eyes brows and he felt tears come to his eyes and he nodded. He smiled slightly and tears fell down his cheeks, he breathed and he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He never would have thought what those words would mean to him. He smiled at her and she gave him a reassuring smile. He laughed "Thank you" he said and he cried a little more.

Natasha hesitated, but she moved her hand and took his in hers. Bucky froze, he looked at her and she gave him a sad smile. He gave her a nod and he sniffed as tears streamed down his face.

Steve

Everything was in slow motion. Everything stopped, Steve felt the breath in his lungs leave him. He felt his lungs push the air away and restrict. The loud snap of the firing pins in the pistols snapped loudly and small balls of fire came out of the pistols and flashed. Steve watched the bullets leave the barrels, they were barely moving. He saw Bucky coming toward him, but he hadn't fired, Steve looked and saw Grant as smoke rose off the end of the pistol in his hand. Steve turned to see Natalia as she shot at Grant. Steve stood still, he closed his eyes he felt like it wasn't real, like it wasn't happening. It couldn't be real, but saw the bullets slowly glided through the air Steve felt his heart rate increase. The sound of his heart smacked into his ears and he felt it in his fingers. His hands twitched slightly from his pulse, Steve could feel the thump of the guns going off in his feet.

Steve turned and he stared at the door and he was standing there. Steve stared at himself, he was in his forties Captain America uniform and he looked down and he was in his. Steve put his hands into fists and he stared at Dream Steve at the door. He had his shield strapped to his arm, Steve turned away to see the bullets traveling toward his son and Natalia. Steve felt a sudden pain in the back of his head, he blinked and everything sped up and went back to normal and the bullets hit their targets. One tore through Grant's chest and blood sprayed out in a pink mist and flesh exploded out the back of him as the bullet went through. Grant dropped his pistol and it clanged against the floor, Steve turned to see the other bullet hit Natalia in the shoulder, pink mist splattered the wall next to her. Steve saw that she held onto her gun and she moved and aimed. Steve almost took a step when another gun fired. Steve saw a bullet buzz past him and his ear began to ring as it flew past his head. He watched the second bullet hit Natalia in the chest.

Steve watched as she collapsed on the ground and Bucky ran over to Grant. He slid as he got close and pulled Grant's head up and helped him stay upward. "Grant" Bucky said

Grant coughed and blood leaked out of his mouth and splattered in his chest where the bullet wound was coated in red as he started to bleed. Grant groaned and looked at his father. Steve stared at his son as he saw him bleeding onto the floor. Steve took a step forward and he felt the world stop and he felt an odd feeling, he didn't want to go to his son. He turned to see Natalia facing the floor and she was laying there, not moving. Steve felt an urge to run to her, had barely knew her, why did he want to make sure she was okay and not his son? Steve turned back toward the door and there he was, his dream self and he ran forward and went to his son. Steve felt weird, he was there, but not really. He felt something pulling him toward his son, and another pulled him to Natalia, the girl he had talked to and just met, but he felt like he knew her. Steve stepped back and looked at Natalia as she was laying there, alone, blood was slowly pooling around her. Steve closed his eyes and his head felt like something was tearing its way out of it. He reached up to grab his head as the searing pain made his teeth smash together and he grimaced as the pain pulsed throughout his head. He fell to his knees and he saw Bucky frowning at him, Steve didn't see himself over there anymore, Grant was with Bucky and Natalia was alone. Steve was in between the two. "Steve" Bucky said

Steve shook his head and moved toward Grant, the thought of Natalia left his mind as he went to his son. Grant saw Steve and grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly. Steve held his son's hand tightly and he got close and he was back to the dream. "Grant" he said quickly and he looked down and his chest was covered in red, warm, blood. Steve looked at Bucky. Bucky looked down at Grant, his eyes were wide open. "Did I get her?" he asked

Bucky nodded "You got her buddy"

Steve looked over at Natalia and he felt like someone hit him in the gut and he felt like someone was telling him to go to her. He shook his head and looked back at his son. "Listen to me, you're going to be fine"

Grant's eyes looked at his father, he smiled slightly, and his white teeth were now coated in red. "She was going to fire, so I fired, and it happened so fast"

Steve shook his head "That doesn't matter, Grant stay with me"

Grant nodded and he coughed and he grimaced as he moved slightly. He looked at his father and his eyes seemed to dim "I feel, cold" he breathed

Steve gripped his hand tighter "You'll be fine, just stay with me"

Grant's eyes seemed to start to close "I can't feel anything"

Bucky shook him as his eyes closed and they shot back open. "Stay awake kid" Bucky said

Grant gripped his father's hand tightly, he smiled "Tell mom I'm sorry…" Grant began to say and his eyes closed and his head hung low and Steve felt like someone had stabbed him. Steve felt his lips tremble and he clenched his jaw and he pursed his lips together and his eyes filled with tears and he gripped Grant limp hand. He closed his eyes, Steve cried softly. Bucky lowered his head and he let a soft breath leave him as he stared at Grant's eyes as they stared at them. Steve opened his eyes and he felt a sudden jolt and he was standing back in between his son and Natalia and Bucky was frowning at him. "Steve, get over here" Bucky said loudly

Steve closed his eyes and he felt the urge to go to his son. It wasn't real, his son was just in his mind. He was in a coma, Natasha is waiting for him to wake up. He needed to wake up, he gritted his teeth as he felt himself begin to walk toward his son. Steve shook his head, it was all in his head, his son, Peggy, and it never happened, he was brought of the ice in 2011, not 1945. He clenched every bone in his body, it never happened, he was part of a group called the Avengers, Hydra is still around, and he is needed. He wanted to wake up. He was tired of seeing his life he had thought up for himself, he didn't want it anymore, he wanted to be with Natasha and if he hadn't stayed in the ice, it never would have happened. He needed to wake up. He felt pulled toward his son, but he fought against it, his mind was not winning this one, he knew it was all fake, none of it was real, his mind had just conjured up a life for him that he thought was better, but it was wrong, all of it was wrong, it wasn't reality. He knew it was fake, he shook his head a she fought the dream. He yelled in pain and he heard voices speaking.

Who do you want me to be?

The mind can always repair itself.

You're a punk.

Captain Rogers.

Everything good about you came out of a bottle.

Captain, you surround yourself with lesser beings, afraid of your own power, as I wear mine proudly.

I just act like I know everything Rogers.

Hey, Cap!

Let's hear it for Captain America.

Welcome Back Cap!

You people, until I killed innocent people you didn't care.

You just ran 30 miles in ten minutes, did you just do another lap I assume you just took it.

Sam Wilson.

Captain this is Agent Romanoff.

Hi.

Steve opened his eyes and he was standing in darkness. He looked around, the floor beneath his feet was smooth. He ran his hand across it and he stood. Steve looked around and he saw a small crack in the darkness and light beamed through. Steve looked at it as he squinted, he saw Natasha and she looked worried. He heard a voice "What happened?"

Natasha looked at Steve "I don't know he just started to shake"

"What is going on Doc?" Bucky's voice asked

"I don't know, Step away from him Miss Romanoff"

Steve frowned as he saw Natasha step away from him and he saw her eyes begin to fill with tears. She held herself together though, only letting the tears fall down her cheeks. Steve took a step forward and he shield flew past him and curved through the air, Steve stopped and turned to see another beam of light and he saw himself catch his shield and put it onto his arm. Steve looked past himself and saw his son bleeding out on the floor. Steve felt his own shield in his own hands. He watched as Dream Steve walked forward. Steve frowned and turned away and began to walk toward the crack in the darkness with Natasha. "Where are you going?" he heard himself ask.

Steve stopped and he looked back at his dream self. He walked forward "You're going to leave your son lying there on the floor alone?"

Steve looked at himself "It's not real"

"But it could be" his dream self said with a hopeful smile.

"He dies, and everything is wrong, I don't want to live that"

"I can make it better, I can change it"

Steve stared at his dream self "I may have wanted that at a time in my life, but I don't want that anymore"

Dream Steve frowned and became angry "So you're just going to give it all up?"

The thought ran through his mind, he stared at his dream self and he took a breath "Yes" he said hesitant, but sure.

Dream Steve looked back at the beam of light behind him "It's not perfect, but it is easier"

Steve frowned "Just because it's easy, doesn't mean it's worth it"

Dream Steve looked back at him "But we love Peggy" he pleaded.

"Yes, I do love her, but I will never be with her"

"But in this you could" he said looking at the beam of light with hope.

Steve looked back and he saw Natasha staring at him as the Doctor was moving around frantically. "I want this life, not that one" he said to himself

Dream Steve smiled and turned and saw him looking back into the opposite beam of light, his smile quickly turned into a frown. He took a breath "How could you take that one?"

Steve turned to see his Dream Self looking upset. Steve sighed "I have a reason to want it, that one is not real, I wish it could have been, but I need to accept it, I need to let go"

Dream Steve suddenly disappeared and Steve looked around. Steve heard yelling, he turned back toward the light and he saw the Doctor straining "I have no idea what is happening"

"You're a doctor" Bucky exclaimed

"Yeah, but he isn't having a seizure, I don't know why he is shaking uncontrollably"

Steve could hear the heart monitor beeping like crazy. The Doctor cursed under his breath "His vitals are dropping"

Steve turned and he saw his Dream self and he took a step and he grabbed him by the throat. Steve mashed his teeth together as Dream Steve began to choke him. Steve stared into his own face as it was angry, he tried to break out of his own hold but he couldn't. Dream Steve stared at him "We don't get a happy ending"

Steve felt his fingers tightening around his throat and he could feel heat around his face and his vision began to blur. He tried to breath, Dream Steve looked at him "You don't deserve her"

Steve opened his eyes and punched Dream Steve in the face. He fell back and rolled back to his feet. He stood and walked toward him. Steve gasped for air and he watched as his Dream-self stomped toward him. Steve stood his ground and blocked a punch from him and countered with a jab to the ribs. Dream Steve blocked three quick attacks and he countered Steve and punched him in the ribs and grabbed him by the throat. Steve clenched his jaw as he felt his fingers become tight again. Steve fell back as Dream Steve shoved him to the ground. Steve began to stand when Dream Steve kicked him in the ribs and Steve felt them break. Steve gasped for air and he fell onto his back.

Dream Steve stood above him and he began to punch Steve in the face over and over. Steve exhaled as blood flew out of his mouth, Steve blocked another punch and he kicked Dream Steve away. He got to his feet and Dream Steve threw his shield. Steve jumped and caught it, he twisted through the air and threw it back. Dream Steve kicked the shield out of the way and sprinted toward him. Steve landed and he was tackled by his Dream self. Steve put his arms up and blocked a punch to the face. Dream Steve grabbed his upper arms and squeezed and they crunched and broke. Steve yelled in pain and Dream Steve grabbed his arm and snapped it back. Steve blocked another punch and Dream Steve stood up and grabbed him by his leg and began to drag him away.

Steve looked back at Natasha and he was being dragged away from her, he groaned and rolled. His ribs not loving him for it. Dream Steve let go of his leg and he went to grab him again. Steve kicked him in the face. Steve got to his feet and Dream Steve ran at him. Steve held his broken arm close to him, he sidestepped and he dodged his Dream self. Steve backed up as Dream Steve rebounded and ran back at him. Steve blocked a kick and he punched him in the face and he dodged a swing and he brought his fist into Dream Steve's stomach. Dream Steve gasped and Steve brought his knee up and hit him in the jaw.

Dream Steve staggered back and he advanced, Steve blocked another series of strikes and he missed one and got hit in the collar bone and it snapped. Steve groaned and Dream Steve saw the opening and he tackled him to the ground. Steve lurched upward to move and Dream Steve grabbed Steve's leg and brought his arm against it and it snapped sideways. Steve fell back and his head his the ground. Dream Steve punched him in the face over and over. Steve tried to block as he caught his wrist and snapped it. Steve's relatively working arm fell to the ground limp. Dream Steve punched him in the face and he held one back and smacked him hard in the head and Steve's skull cracked open. Steve put his head back and his eyes almost closed from the pain.

Dream Steve grabbed him by the collar of his suit and pulled him up and he was heaving breaths and he pulled his fist back. He stared down at him, Steve coughed and his head ached "I am letting go of it all. I choose Natasha" he said tiredly.

Dream Steve flared his nostrils and Steve looked up at him "I'm letting go of Peggy" he said as his voice trailed off. Dream Steve lowered his fist bloody fist and he stared down at him "How?" he asked

Steve blinked slowly, his eyelids felt so heavy, he took a breath "Nat's my partner" Steve gasped for a breath "And I don't give up on my friends"

Dream Steve frowned and pulled his fist back and he locked it back, he took a breath and yelled and his fist shot forward.

Natasha

She watched horrified as Steve suddenly stopped thrashing about and became very still. The heart monitor's loud and erratic beeping slowed. She looked at Bucky and he was equally horrified as his best friend was basically dying in front of him. Natasha saw the Doctor stare at the monitor as it stopped and Steve flat lined. The Doctor closed his eyes and he shook his head and walked away. Bucky stayed still and he was frozen in place, he didn't know what to do. The long continuous beep of the monitor filled Natasha's ears as she walked toward him. She grabbed his hand and he was warm, but she got close and she put her hand on his cheek and she bit her lip slightly and held back tears.

Steve was still and he looked like he was sleeping, he didn't look like he was dead, but his chest wasn't rising and falling anymore. It wasn't moving, not even a subtle shift. She stared at Steve and studied his face, his strong jaw and his cheeks. She could tell they were still healing, she closed her eyes and she put her forehead against his and she felt her lips begin to tremble as she started to cry. She could feel the warmth from his skin, and she took a soft breath and she waited for him to do something, anything, but he continued to be unmoving.

The long continuous beep of the heart monitor was the only sound in the Medical bay. Bucky took a seat and he lowered his head, he felt his throat tighten and he stared at Steve, he bit his lower lips slightly and took a deep breath and then the monitor stopped. He frowned, the long continuous beep stopped, Natasha noticed as well and she lifted her head and looked at it. The screen showed nothing, Steve was gone and then the red line flicked to green and a single beep lit up the screen.