Chapter 2
Decisions
I'm herded off into a room and I sit on the couch to think. Parts of my letters flash behind my eyes.
Mother, don't let them watch me die. Please. For me. Let them keep only the best memories.
Father, don't do anything reckless. I love you and I will always be with you. I will always be you star power.
Pleione, whatever you do, whomever you have to ask, please, please don't forget me. I will always love you.
Flux, stay strong for them, as much as possible. Please don't let them lose their joy; it's all they have now. Keep them safe and happy for me. Be there for Prine. She'll need you.
Magnus, remember that time I taught you the 'work is over song'. I don't ever want you to forget that time. I loved teaching you and the Mockingjays love your voice. Keep singing for me. Keep music in their lives. And don't you ever forget that I love you.
They are not easy to think about, and tears almost stream down my face. I will never see my family again, but I will leave them each with their own personalized piece of my heart. I take comfort in that thought.
My mother and father come through the large doors first. They embrace me tightly both of them weeping.
"I love you both." I say firmly, extricating myself from their arms-there are things I need to say, things they must hear. "But you can't let this stop you from raising your other children. You can't forget them. Raise them exactly as you did me, and they will all grow up well. Keep being happy. Please… for me… be happy." I finish speaking and my mother is shocked.
"H-how can we b-be… happy when you're-you're gone!?" She wails desperately.
"You must try. Find something, anything that gives you faith, and cling to is. Stay happy, and keep each other close. Do not let this drive you apart. Remember love. There is too much hate in the world for love to be forgotten. Please?" I whisper, broken.
"Of course," My father replies in awe. Then he pulls something out of his pocket. "Your district token," He says placing a necklace on me. I reach for the pendant and find a wooden star, "For my star power. We will always be with you." He smiles at me sadly.
"And I will always be with you." I smile, perfectly content now.
A Peace Keeper comes to the door to collect my parents.
"Goodbye Rue," My mother whispers before dissolving in a fit of sobs in my fathers arms.
"We love you." He finishes for her, "And we will follow whatever wishes you placed in that box of yours." He says finally.
Then they're gone. I will never see them again and I know that-I accept that. The idea sends shooting pains into my heart, and yet somehow I still haven't cried. I know that I have one less piece in my heart, because I'm certain they have a piece with them.
Next four of my siblings rush in. Flux, Marope, Magnus, and Pleione. They hug me tight, and I tell them how much I love them.
"You must keep yourselves fed, and don't take too much from Prine, especially you Flux. You should probably learn some plants too, to help her." He's crying but he nods, agreeing with me.
"Pleione, you give Ma and Pa big hugs for me ok?" I ask her in a cheerful voice, and she nods enthusiastically, not understanding the situation.
"Pleione, can you do something for me?" I ask, knowing this attempt is futile. She nods. "Don't ever ask Ma, Pa, or Prine when I'm coming home ok?"
She nods and smiles.
I hug them all once more, and address Marope and Magnus. "I have such high hopes for you. You're both going to do something great in this world." I say with confidence.
"Just like you." Marope says, referring-I'm sure-to something she thinks I'll do during the Games.
"Exactly." I say, hoping we're right. I would love to-if I have to die-die for something.
"Do your best." Magnus says sadly, tears spilling over.
I hug him tightly. "My very, very, very, best." I say, using a quote from when I helped him learn his addition skills for school. He smiles a little at that.
When the Peace Keeper comes for them they leave and I feel a little piece of my heart ripped from my chest.
Finally, Prine comes in, crying hysterically.
I take her in my arms, and she calms down quickly.
"I will miss you." I say with emotion.
"I will miss you too." She says still crying in her old, silent way.
"Remember where I'm going?" I ask fervently.
"The place with food, joy, music, and love." She says quickly.
"Yes." I say agreeing with her.
"Since I won't be there you do your best for them." I say, and she nods.
"I've always wanted to be just like you." She admits with a sad smile.
"Now is your chance. Show them the path back to love and joy. They will need help. So will you. Please read the letter I wrote you and do as I asked, I know it will be hard-" I say referring to the part where I ask them not to watch me die "-but it will make the whole thing easier for me."
"Anything for you." She says with a tight hug.
When the Peace Keeper comes for her, and she leaves I yell, "I love you all!" and the door slams shut.
Prine took the last piece of my heart with her.
Topazma accompanies Thresh and I to the train station where we will board our train to the Capitol. The station is full of reporters and cameras so I'm glad that I didn't lose my carefully calculated emotions.
By the time we finally get to the doors of the train, I can see over the people just enough to see my family members craning to get a glimpse of me. I see Prine and my mother and make eye contact, I flash them a reassuring smile, and Prine mouths 'we love you'. I nod slightly at them.
When the doors of the train close I know I will never make eye contact with my family members again. They are never going to be with me again. I will miss them terribly and I can't imagine how they're feeling.
Topazma shows me to my room and I go into it, glad for a few moments of solitude. When I'm finally alone I let the tears I've been holding in flow freely. I don't cry long, because there's no point in that. Crying won't bring me back to them.
So I pull myself together and wash my face so I look fresh. I change into a simple capitol outfit, and out of my formal Reaping clothes. I make my way out into the dining car of the train and Topazma smiles widely at me.
"Good evening dear, you're just in time for dinner." She says with a bit of sadness in her voice.
"Evening," I reply, looking for everyone else.
"Rue. You are so brave." I hear Seeder's voice behind me. I don't bother denying her statement, I haven't figured out how to make people understand-yet.
"I just don't want to waste the last few days of my life living in fear." I'm resolved in this decision.
"That's very smart of you." She says, not trying to deny the fact that I will die in the Arena. The only question is if I will die sooner or later. I'm determined to die later; I want to show the Capitol that even a twelve year old can stay alive in their useless games.
She shows me to a table. Or at least that's what I think it is. It's so covered in food that I can't make out its shape. I stare at the food, and tears pool in my eyes. I feel sick to my stomach, and I know I can't eat.
I turn and race back to my compartment, not willing to face the others. I shut the door and collapse on my bed. I let the tears fall again, and I don't try to stop them. I hear the door open and close gently.
Someone comes to sit beside me, and their arms envelop me. The arms remind me of my mother's. I look up a little to see Seeder. She doesn't speak for a while, but she does calm me.
Once I recover from the suddenness of my attack, I breathe deeply, and stop my tears.
"Feel better?" She asks me gently.
"No." I say my voice full of dismay.
"It's ok to be afraid." She assures me.
My eyebrows come together. "I'm not afraid. I'm scared."
"It's the same thing." She tells me sadly.
"No it's not!" I yell. "To me being afraid is feeling a deep fear for yourself. I'm not afraid for me. I'm scared, because I won't know what happens to my family! That food. All that food, it just set me off… the people here have so much, and they have no idea. That spread on the table could keep all eight of us fed for a month. And here it's nothing, just common daily fare. No one goes hungry, and no one thinks to help those of us who do."
"I know." She says, a strange expression on her face.
"What?" I ask grumpily.
"I was wrong about you." She tells me. "I thought you were going to be somewhere in that arena hiding until some Gamemaker weapon took you out. Now I see that I was wrong. You won't be hiding, you'll be surviving." The words tumble out of her.
"As long as I can." I confirm. "I have to show them… show them that I'm more than they think I am."
"That's very good of you. Stealth will be your best asset. You need to keep to the trees. Are you good at that?"
"Of course." I say simply.
"Ok, then we have something we can work with."
I only nod.
"You aren't hungry?" She asks me.
"How could I eat while they starve?" I ask her, pain in my voice.
"Of course. In any case, we need to watch the other Reapings, to see what we're up against. " She says quietly.
As we walk side by side to the couch and T.V. Thresh and Chaff join us.
"Are you ready?" Chaff asks.
We don't move, so Chaff turns on the T.V. anyway.
It starts with the Reaping from 1. The volunteering in this District-along with Districts 2, 3, and 4-is complicated and full of disputes, with multiple people all vying for their chance to die.
Each Career Tribute wants to bring the pride of winning home to their district. Though they think they know what they're volunteering for-they have know idea.
Once they're in the games their combat practice doesn't help if they're starving or dying. It's not uncommon for dying Careers to tell the cameras that they wish they hadn't volunteered. The problem is each Career seems to think they're the exception, the one who'll win. Only, that is only true for one of them. Only one of them will win.
Then there are the Reapings from 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. In those Districts there are no volunteers, though they each have much greater odds than I do of winning. They're all fed well enough-it seems-and they have muscle and height. I couldn't take any of them out if I wanted to.
Then there's the Reapings from 10, 11 and 12. Even if there's no need to re-watch our own Reaping-we lived through it. The Reaping in 10 is uneventful, though I feel a pang of sorrow at the male chosen. He walks with a limp, and I doubt he can run at all-some kind of permanent injury. I don't think he will last long in the games.
I'm beginning to lose what little hope I had conjured. My idea had been to chose who I thought should win the games, and asses how I could aid them-this entailed figuring out their demeanor, and whether they would accept an alliance with me.
At first I considered a red haired girl from District 5. She seems smart, and I'm sure her family could use the money-because she looks quite thin. Though something tells me it's not wise to get to close to her, she looks lethal.
When District 12 appears on the screen, I tense up, hoping that someone here is worth winning. Worth me giving my life to protect them.
Effie Trinket, the escort for the District 12 tributes reads the name.
"Primrose Everdeen!" The crowd draws in a collective breath.
That is normally a sign that someone from town was chosen, or someone who is well liked in the District.
Or someone who's twelve, I add to my mental list.
I see that the latter was true about the girl. She is certainly twelve, and nearly the same size as me. She keeps her head up high as she accepts the shock of being reaped.
She takes a few steps and I take in her long blonde braids and blue eyes. I would like to say that this girl isn't from the Seam-the poorest part of 12. She looks like a girl from the town, one who always has just enough food.
Her expression is one of shock, but not fear. Her clear blue eyes are sad though, as if she knows something terrible is coming-something she has absolutely no control over. The sea of children parts for her and she moves slowly toward the stage.
"Prim!" A strangled voice screams as loud as possible. "Prim!" The voice calls again, more composed.
The cameras pan to a tall girl, fifteen or maybe sixteen, with her dark hair braided up intricately on her head. She is uncharacteristically beautiful for a girl from the Seam. She has the bright light in her grey eyes, that suggests her fight-and her self-sacrificing nature.
She races to the girl, the other kids clearing for her as well. She sweeps the smaller girl behind her with one strong protective arm.
"I volunteer!" She gasps, knowing-I'm sure-exactly what this means. "I volunteer as tribute!" She yells as loud as she possibly can, as if someone might not hear her.
The stage is in confusion, because no one volunteers in District 12. What this girl has done is the boldest form of devotion.
Sacrificing herself for the small girl before her-it can't be because she thinks she will live. It's because she has to protect the girl. It's not a choice; it's an instant reaction, an instinct to protect the one she loves.
Finally the people on stage recover and Effie reclaims the microphone.
"Lovely, but I believe there's a small matter of introducing the reaping winner, and then asking for volunteers, and if one does come forth then we, um…" She trails off unsure of the procedure.
The mayor of 12 looks like he's in pain, and I assume he knows the mystery volunteer, though not well.
"What does it matter?" He asks no one in particular. "What does it matter? Let her come forward." He says gruffly.
The young girl who was originally chosen is screaming and tears are streaming down her face, much like Prine's reaction to me being reaped. The thought brings up the question are they sisters? If they are I know how they both feel. I know I would do the very same thing for my younger siblings.
The small girl's arms lock around the older girls waist with extreme force.
"No Katniss! No! You can't go!" She wails, refusing to release her grip.
The tears I hadn't realized I'd been holding back spill down my cheeks. This is one of the most open displays of love that I have ever seen. This girl is selfless in this moment.
"Prim let go," The older girl commands, though the younger girl remains unmoved. "Let go!" The older girl yells trying to remain calm.
A boy-perhaps a man-comes to grab Primrose's tiny waist and pry her off the older girl, "Up you go, Catnip." He mutters with a shaking voice.
Did I hear Primrose wrong before? Is her name Catnip?
I shake the thought off for now. I watch in awe as this nameless boy carries the struggling child off-to find her mother I assume. Her screams fade and the volunteer mounts the stage, a mask of an expression on her face.
The escort babbles on about 'the spirit of the games' for a moment then asks for the volunteer's name.
The girl swallows her emotions and says in a calm voice, "Katniss Everdeen,"
Effie makes herself seem heartless by mentioning Katniss was 'stealing' her sister's 'glory'-while in reality Katniss accepted her sisters death sentence. When she asks for applause not one person in 12's square claps. Though-it would appear that- nearly every one of them presses the three middle fingers of their left hand to their lips and holds it out to Katniss, in what I'm assuming is a silent goodbye. It's hard to tell for sure, because the camera angles and frames have been altered.
She looks on the verge of tears when her 'mentor'-a constantly drunk victor by the name of Haymitch Abernathy-makes a scene and falls, headfirst, off the stage. In the time of his episode Katniss replaced the wavering mask on her face, keeping herself emotionless on the outside.
Effie quickly moves onto the boy tribute and calls out, "Peeta Mellark!"
I thought things could get no worse for Katniss, but by the look on her face, it's clear he is someone she knew, and looked either up to or after.
I feel the decision settling in my heart. If I have to give my life I want to give it for someone deserving of it. This girl just proved to me that she deserves someone to care for her-after all the care she's given to her sister, and others I'm sure. She thinks will give her life for her sister, and I will give my life, if in some small way to aid her in winning.
I smile a little at this revelation. I won't die for nothing. I will die for something-someone.
When Seeder turns off the T.V. and turns to all of us, she makes eye contact with me. Her eyes ask me a silent question what are you thinking?
I just smile and say, "Now, that was brave." And I leave the room.
Hey there readers. Thanks for the views. I'm hoping for reviews but it's good to know someone has read my story. Thanks for taking the time to read. Please review. ;)
Also- DISCLAIMER: All credit to Suzanne Collins, where I have used her dialogue, characters, settings, and plot. This is effective for the entire fanfic.
R&R!