Chapter Eleven
Life After Battle

Enjolras could not begin to describe what Patria had once meant to him.

It had kept him awake at night, he fantasized about all the possibilities he could have brought the people of France, who were now wallowing in sickness and poverty. He had brought all of his friends, his school mates, into a battle – for what?

Staring at their faces, he could only tell one thing for certain, and that was that they had been completely transformed. Not in any positive way, they were scared, vulnerable, scarred by the events that they had never anticipated. Put simply, death would have been a more desirable fate than this. They did not know what to do with themselves, still overflowing with fear and anxiety, as if a cannon were to be fired at any moment.

Slowly moving past the crowd of his friends, who were leaning onto railings and each other for support as they composed themselves, he ran to see how Eponine, Legles, Jean Prouvaire and Joly were doing, and to let them know that their efforts had not gone to waste.

"WHO'S THERE!?" Jean Prouvaire and Legles screamed suddenly as his footsteps approached their closet, closer and closer.

Enjolras threw open the closet doors veraciously and stared at them, tears rushing to his frightened eyes, "It's over." He sighed, helping his distraught friends out of their hiding places.

Jean Prouvaire, who was completely overwhelmed with happiness, began to tell Enjolras how Joly cared for them till he came, but they might as well have been staring at a different person. They had never seen Enjolras in such a light. He had been strange enough during his sudden romance with Eponine – but now he looked as though he were just a young boy. He seemed so terrified, his innocence had completely reappeared. Then again, so had theirs…

"Eponine?" He called, moving towards her closet slowly – trying to avoid a frightening reality.

She could have been dead just as easily as she could have stayed alive. Her wounds were brutally deep; he didn't doubt the possibility of her passing just from the sheer pain of it. Enjolras shut his eyes quickly, as the searing pain in his shoulder returned at the mere thought of guns and injuries.

He flung open the doors to find Eponine breathing quietly, quickly, her chest rising and falling to the beat of his racing heart.

"Eponine," he whispered, grabbing her blood stained shoulders, kissing her dirty cheeks, "it's over Eponine."

A smile appeared on her face before her throbbing hand had distorted it, making Enjolras catch her as she fell.

"Help! Help!" He called out, watching Marius run down the stairs frantically, taking Eponine from Enjolras as soon as he realized that they both needed to be taken to a hospital immediately.

In fact, everybody did. Besides Jean Prouvaire, who had broken his arm, Legles, who had suffered a major concussion, and Joly whose ear had been punctured and torn – the rest suffered bruises, cuts and burns, and worst of all, emotional scarring.

"Call the hospital!" Marius ordered, "They must be cared for immediately." He said staring at Eponine, watching as her chest fell and rose slowly.

He had hoped she would have forgiven him as easily as she had forgiven Enjolras. He could not bear the fact that she had injured herself so greatly for his idiotic actions. She shouldn't have done anything. She should have watched alongside Enjolras as the bullet penetrated him, not her hand.

"Thank you." Enjolras said to him, as he stroked Eponine's face, trying to keep her alive.

Marius could never tell him how it hurt him to watch the only love he had left, love someone else. It was as if he were alone no matter how many people surrounded him, no matter how many people came and left in his life, there was always going to be an emptiness in his heart that could not be filled.

The horrors of the war were still fresh in his mind, but also the heartbreak of Cosette's death. How could Enjolras act as though he barely cared for her? Was he not the man who had fallen so deeply in love with a girl on street that he had talked to Eponine, who might as well have not existed, to get closer to her? If it were not for the incident with Thenardier outside that night Cosette had arrived, then Eponine and Enjolras wouldn't have fallen so deeply in love. If Eponine had disagreed to take Enjolras to find Cosette, then they wouldn't have ever even been acquainted. Eponine Thenardier would be his, Enjolras would be his politically devoted friend, and Cosette would not have had to risk her life and die in the end of it all. Oh how Marius wished he could reverse the events of the past days, but it was time to suck up his selfish thoughts and help the others.

_

Eponine had woken as though in heaven. Someone, or something, was singing a song as her eyes greeted the sun and the bright white room she was lying in. She made out Joly's face close by, as well as Grantaire's; they were both sound asleep.

She looked around frantically for Marius, then Enjolras, and finally, Cosette – but the bitter truth stung like a thousand more wounds. Cosette was gone and Marius had tried to commit suicide because of it.

Suddenly shaken by that thought, she quickly realized that her arm was in a sling, and that a strange numbness was tingling near her wrist, almost as though she could not feel it, like her hand had suddenly ceased to exist. Looking down urgently, Eponine faced a bitter truth - her hand was gone. Nothing but a stub in it's place. Tears filled her sorrowful eyes as she regretted the entire war and her existence. She would rather be dead than face this fate… What would Enjolras think of her now?

"Eponine," Marius began as he walked in and, seeing that everyone else was asleep, sat on the edge of Eponine's bed.

"Marius." Eponine nodded, blaming him silently for her loss.

"I never got to thank you," he shook his head, "how's your hand?"

She held it up silently, watching Marius as his jaw nearly fell to the floor in utter shock. He turned red suddenly and broke off eye contact with her.

"I know it's horrible." She replied calmly, looking down to mask her tears.

Her face was pale with dark circles underneath her tired eyes, she spoke in soft whispers and sighs. Marius feared for her health greatly, it pained him to see her in such a state. He wouldn't have ever imagined her like this...

"No, no, Eponine –" Marius began.

"No! I know how horrible it is. I hate it. I wish –"

"What?" He muttered, "That you hadn't saved me?"

"What? No, I…" Eponine took a deep breath.

"No you're right. You shouldn't have saved me Eponine. You know why? Because I deserved to die." What was he saying? He didn't want to upset her further...

"Marius, stop this nonsense!" She exclaimed, shaking her head.

"No, I did, you can't pretend I didn't." He shook his head and began to wipe away tears, "You love him so much that you forgot about me, and that's alright. I'd rather have you here with me right now, hand or no hand, than you dead…"

"Marius! I saved your life because I loved you." Eponine sat up now, looking extremely flustered. After shedding a tear and wiping it away quickly, she began to speak. "I offered you my love, but you were so set on Cosette that you didn't want it. Then you told me to stay away from Enjolras, and I listened, because you meant so much to me Marius." She wiped away another tear, and Marius continued to regret his words, wishing he could just take them back. "I watched you that night, as you talked to Cosette, cradling her as she fell asleep, kissing her on the head when she woke. You spoke with her father, you stood by her till the end – and now you turn to me. How dare you turn to me Marius Pontmercy? I've lost my hand because I wanted you to stay in my life! And what do you do instead? Pity yourself." She spit, "Go on pitying yourself Marius! See if I care." She finished bitterly.

Before Marius could open his mouth, Enjolras had walked in urgently, his arm in a sling as well. Eponine tried to look well for his sake but began to turn an embarrassing shade of red instead.

"Marius, Eponine, I'm so glad you're all alright." He smiled at them both and patted Marius on the back heartily, "We've become heroes amongst the people in the villages. They think we've saved France!" He smiled as though everything he'd ever dreamt of had been handed to him, as though they never had to endure the horrors of battle to get to such a status, "I know we did."

"Thank god!" Eponine replied weakly, trying to show her excitement for Enjolras. She smiled then, leaning forward as he kissed her once again, leaving Marius wishing he had been somewhere else.

"Are you alright? Is your hand better?" Enjolras asked her as she began turning a darker shade of red.

"Yes." She muttered pathetically, letting Enjolras realize that her hand had been amputated.

"Eponine," he began, suddenly embracing her and catching her off guard.

"I know that it's hideous and horrible and –"

"Perfect." Enjolras mentioned, batting away her words as though they had never been uttered.

"What?"

"It's your battle scar. It tells a story."

"What pathetic story is that?"

"That you saved Marius' life, and proved that you're an even better person than I already thought." He smiled and wiped away her tears, "Don't pity yourself so much."

Marius shot Eponine a quick look, but she shook her head, changing the subject, "Where is Cosette's father?"

"I owe him my life." Enjolras added suddenly realizing how abruptly he had left him. He looked back at Marius, "You saw him last. Where did he go?"

"I, um," he turned a sickly green colour, as if he was hiding something.

"You told him didn't you?" Eponine cried suddenly, seeing through Marius' cover almost immeadiately and waking Grantaire and Joly with a jolt.

"Is that true?" Enjolras asked, moving closer to him angrily.

"Listen to me carefully," he began, "he saw the body, I tried to stop him but –"

"Marius! He's going to kill himself!" Eponine yelled, grabbing the collar of his cotton vest combatively with her good hand.

"What a way to wake up!" Grantaire exclaimed as he stopped her from beating Marius with whatever might she had left. "Would you two calm down? Talking this whole time about such petty things like –"

"Shut up!" Marius spat through his teeth, avoiding Enjolras' gaze, "You're better with the bottle." He sighed as he gave Grantaire a dirty look.

Eponine climbed out of bed quickly, limping at first but working herself into a steady stride.

"What's the matter with you?" Enjolras asked Marius, as he received a shrug from Grantaire.

"Nothing."

Before Enjolras could differ, Eponine had whistled loudly, standing by the door with an awkwardly wrapped jacket around her shoulders, already shivering from the slight wind drifting in from the door leading to the hospital's bustling hallways.

"Cosette and his father saved us all! I am going to find him before he does something stupid!" Eponine flung open the doors, letting the cold wind fly in.

"Close the door! We'll catch a cold!" Joly pathetically whimpered, shifting himself farther underneath the soft red sheets covering his body, shivering violently.

"Eponine, don't you dare leave!" Enjolras commanded, chasing after her.

"After all this, you really think she'll listen?" Marius added, running at his heels.

After making her way down the crowded hallways, trying to look as well as she could, she had realized that there was nowhere to turn. Throwing open the closest door, Eponine ran quickly to the streets, dumbstruck as to where to move next.

"What now?" She asked, looking into Enjolras' worried eyes.

"Calm down. We'll find him, I promise." He spoke softly, but he was frustrated inside.

Trying so hard to look happy for their victory had been a much more difficult task than he had anticipated. How could he ever let his friends know that his love for Patria had left him terrified of every noise that was made in the night and of every guard on the street. The fear of almost everything he had barely acknowledged before the battle was tearing him apart, but how could he let it show? Cosette had died for her country, a right and just thing to do, but why hadn't any of them? Perhaps that was why Marius wanted so badly to be taken away, afraid of the guilt and fear that would soon follow the battle. He wanted to face Cosette's father, the man who had raised the young woman he had fallen so briefly in love with, but he was mortified of having to face his sadness. Terrified to look into the eyes of a man who had been robbed of his only daughter, the light in his life on the dark days that France was condemned to. With all the deeds yet to be done suddenly becoming apparent, he began to realize that there were more consequences that came with saving his Patria than he would have ever believed.

As he gathered his thoughts, Marius had quickly summoned a four seated cabriolet and was helping Eponine up onto the seat next to his. Enjolras helped himself onto the seat next to Eponine's, watching Marius look away as she laid her head on his chest, still conflicted with a large amount of pain.

"I know where he is." She sighed, suddenly telling the driver the directions. Perhaps, with enough luck, they would just be quick enough to save that man's life.